Beyond the Separate Self
By Colin Drake
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Beyond the Separate Self - Colin Drake
Beyond The Separate Self
Copyright © 2009 by Colin Drake
First Edition
All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced or transmitted, for commercial purposes, without written permission from the author.
Published by Beyond Awakening Publications, Tomewin
Cover design and photography by the author.
Also by the same author:
A Light Unto The Self
Self Discovery Through Investigation of Experience
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Awakening and Beyond
Self-Recognition and its Consequences
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Poetry
From Beyond The Separate Self
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Poetry
From Being A Light Unto The Self
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Humanity Our Place in the Universe
The Central Beliefs of the Worlds Religions
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Poetry
From Awakening and Beyond
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Awareness of Awareness
The Open Way
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Poetry
Awareness of Awareness
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Happiness That Needs Nothing
Pointers to That Which is Always Here
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All of these titles are available as: e-books and in hard copy at http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/ColinDrake
Dedications and Acknowledgements.
I would like to dedicate this book to the following people who have inspired, helped, supported, advised and encouraged me in my spiritual journey:
My father John for his unmitigated cheerfulness, sense of humour and love of humanity.
My mother Peggy for her love, care, and appreciation of the natural world.
My sisters, Joy and Wendy, for their friendship, love, and dedication to the spiritual life.
My partner Janet, who has been my spiritual companion for over thirty years, for her love, tolerance, companionship and loyalty.
My spiritual friends, ‘artist Ray’, ‘Krishnamurti John’, ‘madman Neil’, George, Gary, Yarn, Claire and Michael, and many others, for the illuminating discussions we have had together.
My e-book publisher, Jerry Katz, who believed in me enough to publish this book.
Matthew O’Malveny who first taught yoga to me and reawakened my spiritual curiosity.
Swami Satyananda Saraswati who initiated me and introduced me to the joys of the many different yogic paths and practices.
Swamis Karmamurti and Bhaktimurti Saraswati for their living example of the yogic life and its many benefits.
Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa for his catholicity, teachings, ecstasy and amazing life.
Pravajika Ajayaprana Mataji, who also initiated, inspired and encouraged me on my spiritual journey.
Gangaji, who was the instrument of my first ‘awakening’, for the directness and simplicity of her teachings.
Isaac Shapiro, who also shares the same directness of teaching, for his friendship and encouragement.
Osho and Krishnamurti for their unique and ‘enlightened’ teachings.
Introduction
This book is designed to help its readers go ‘beyond the separate self’; that is to free oneself from obsessive thinking and worrying about one’s self-image, health, wealth, status, achievements, lack of achievements, past, future and ultimate survival. These are all caused by identifying oneself as an individual object in a universe of multiple objects, and also by comparing oneself with like objects (other people). How we identify ourselves is at the heart of how we view the world and our place in it. If we fail to correctly identify ‘what we are’ (in essence) then this leads to an unfulfilled life, with its consequent frustrations and mental suffering.
The discussions that follow are concerned with coming to a valid conclusion regarding self-identity, and then learning to operate from this level of being. This is to be achieved purely by investigating our existence, which comprises an unending stream of moment-to-moment experiences from birth to death. Even during sleep there is experience of dreams and sensations. If a sensation becomes strong enough it will wake one up. This investigation requires no dogma or belief systems, and these need to be put aside for the investigation to succeed.
The author, who had spent over thirty years in various Christian, Hindu and Yogic practices, only progressed (had the first real ‘awakening’) when he abandoned these and entered a deep investigation of the question ‘Who am I?’. The appendix contains an account of this questioning, the experiences that it produced, and the insights that it revealed. The appendix also shows how the experiences, which resulted from the direct recognition of true self-identity, related back to the preceding belief system of the author. However, although these beliefs colour the experiences that follow the direct recognition, they are of no use in the investigation itself.
This is not to say that the religions of the world do not point to this same realization and chapter 19 attempts to show how they all do this in their own way. The problem is that the truth of this realization is so incredibly simple, one could say obvious, that the various religious traditions have been unable to accept such simplicity; so their followers, and commentators, have overlaid this simplicity with many levels of dogma, beliefs and philosophical systems.
Chapter 1 is devoted to a general discussion of the various problems associated with misidentifying oneself as an object, such as: self-obsession, self-loathing, selfishness, self-aggrandizement, self-importance, etc. The list is almost endless. This chapter also sets the framework for the investigations of those that follow, many of which read as if they are meditations or contemplations, which is exactly what they are. These stem directly from the author’s direct investigations over a twelve year period since his first ‘awakening’. They are given as pointers and aids for the reader’s own investigations into, and contemplations on, the problem of self-identity. There is necessarily some duplication between them as what is being discussed is so simple. They are different ‘takes’ on the same simplicity, presenting the material in various ways whilst building upon what has been discovered, so some repetition is unavoidable. It should also be noted that each of these are, as far as is possible, stand-alone meditations or contemplations, thus needing to make sense by themselves. Therefore some sections of each will contain similar passages, so that they are relatively complete when read in isolation.
Chapter 2 gives the basic format for investigating one’s direct moment-to-moment experience and is the basis for the chapters that follow. Chapter 3 was written on a seven day solitary retreat of investigation, meditation and contemplation in 2000. It represents the author’s first attempt to discuss, in writing, the problem of self-identity, and has been published as a stand-alone pamphlet. Chapters 4 to 13 are further meditations and contemplations, each delving deeper into the nature of self-identity and ‘reality’. Chapter 14 details how to live from the level of self-identity that has been discovered and the benefits of this. Chapter 15 highlights the importance of committing to this level to access the full potential of ‘awakening’. Chapter 16 discusses this ‘full potential’ and shows how this truly is ‘the end of anxiety and mental suffering’. Chapter 17 shows how humanity could live together in perfect peace and harmony by the realization of this deeper level of self-identity and the nature of reality, which have been revealed by one’s investigations. Chapter 18 considers how living from this deeper level of self-identity makes life so enjoyable that no extra purpose or meaning is necessary. Chapter 19 studies how the religions of the world describe the Absolute Reality and compares this with what is discovered through direct investigation into the nature of moment-to-moment experience. It also shows how mystics of each religion have arrived at the same conclusion.
Chapter 20 shows how two seemingly opposing concepts of self-identity - ‘essential self’ and ‘no essential self’ - can ultimately lead to the same conclusion that is discovered by direct investigation of experience. It is a fairly detailed discussion of the Hindu and Buddhist concepts of self-identity, and it compares the various ideas that these religions contain. In simple language it offers an introductory insight into these two major world religions and may be useful for ‘non-dualists’ who regard the word ‘Self’ as the ‘essential self’ and are somewhat unhappy about the phrase ‘separate self’. Chapter 21 shows how the discoveries made by direct investigation of experience tally with those given in the fourth chapter of The Tibetan Book of the Dead , ‘Self-Liberation Through Seeing with Naked Awareness’.
If you have any questions, as you read the book, you can e-mail me at [email protected] . I am quite happy to clarify any points that you do not understand; however, I would rather not field questions on topics that are clearly covered in the text. If you are not sure it would be advisable to wait until you have finished the book, as you may well find that your question is answered.
One -The Problem
A general discussion on the problem of identifying oneself as an individual object in a universe of multiple objects. It also sets the framework for the investigations that follow which reveal a deeper level of being than that of thoughts and sensations.
For most of us much of our waking time is spent in obsessive thinking about ‘ourselves’ and our relationships with other people. This is especially true when we are not working, using our minds in a productive activity; or when we are not relaxing in such a way that engages the mind such as reading a book, playing a game or watching a screen. For the mind is akin to an onboard-computer which is a wonderful tool for problem-solving, information storing, retrieval and processing, and evaluating the data provided by our senses. However, when it is not fully utilized it tends to search for other problems to solve, and if these are not presently available it tends to speculate about the future, delve into the past, or imagine in the present, creating non-existent problems which it then tries to solve!
Most people tend to identify with their mind, rather than seeing it as a tool, which creates myriad problems. This causes everything to be seen through the filter of the mind: its opinions, judgements, and self-interest. When this happens we cease to see things as they really are which lessens our ability to relate to the world in a natural healthy way. Imagine the problems it would cause if your computer decided that it was ‘you’ and coloured all the information it retrieved from the internet with its own arbitrary opinions and judgements. In this case you would be unable to rely on any of this information, and if you did then any decisions made using this would be liable to be faulty.
In the above example ‘you’ are obviously not the computer but the perceiver of the data provided by the computer and all of its multimedia functionality. In the same way, we have a deeper level of being than the mind (thoughts and mental images) and body (physical sensations), which is also the perceiver of this ‘data’. However, when we identify at the surface level of mind/body we are unaware of this and tend to suffer due to the shortcomings of our mind/body. This is akin to suffering because our computer is not the most up-to-date, fastest attractive model available.
This is exactly what most of us do, worrying about our body-image and mental capacity and ability. We tend to expand our concept of self-identity to include an imaginary self-image consisting of our physical appearance, mental ability, status, occupation, position in society, family situation, achievements, lack of achievements, ambitions, hopes, fears, memories and projections into the future. Not only do we consider this to be who or what we are, and continually obsess about this, but we also spend large periods of time comparing this with the equally erroneous images we have formed of other people we relate to.
So we have identified ourselves as an imaginary object, in a universe of separate objects, which we then compare with other imaginary objects! This is bound to lead to confusion, suffering and an increased feeling of separation, which is exacerbated by the fact that we do not even see these other objects as they actually are, but as we imagine them to be through the filter of our mind’s opinions, judgements and self-interest.
To free ourselves from this nightmarish scenario and the continual obsession with the ‘separate self’