Painless Grammar

Chapter 1

Parts of Speech

Every player on a football team has a specific role to play in the game. The quarterback has one job, the linebackers have another job, and the tackles have yet another job. Similarly, every instrument in the school band has its own unique sound, and the music you hear is created by all those different instruments blending together and working together.

Just as the players on the football team or the instruments in the band have their specific jobs, every word in a sentence has its particular job and plays its special role. There are eight parts of speech, and every word in every sentence is playing one of those eight roles.

The eight parts of speech are nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, conjunctions, prepositions, and interjections.

Many words almost always play one particular role, but sometimes they can switch roles. The word boy, for example, is almost always a noun. However, if you say, Oh boy, what lousy weather, oh boy is an interjection. The word foot is almost always a noun, but it plays the role of an adjective if you’re talking about a foot-long sandwich. The word fly is a noun if you’re talking about a buzzing insect, but it’s a verb if you’re talking about flying in an airplane. Knowing what part of speech a word is playing helps us understand how sentences are made and also helps us avoid some very common, and sometimes very funny, goofs.

Let’s explore the parts of speech and some of the mistakes that students often make with them.

Noun Pointers

What is a noun?

It is a word that names a person, place, thing, idea, or quality.

We use nouns all the time when we write e-mails to friends or papers for class. (For example, all these underlined words are nouns.) In the next few pages, we’ll look at some mistakes that students frequently make with nouns—and I’ll give you pointers on how to avoid making those mistakes when you write.

When to capitalize nouns

Names of specific people

CAPS:

Tucker, Lola, Juanita, Denzel, the Stevens family, the Joneses

NO CAPS:

family, boy, girl, sister, cousin

(These are general groups or categories, not specific people.)

What about mom and dad? Capitalize them when you’re calling your parent’s name but not when you refer to my mom or my dad.

CAPS:

Hi, Mom! Welcome home, Dad.

NO CAPS:

My father and my mother are busy. Could your mom or your dad drive us to the mall?

Days of the week, months, and holidays, but not seasons

CAPS:

Monday, December, Passover, Easter

NO CAPS:

autumn, fall, spring, winter, summer

Ranks and titles, but only when used right before a particular person’s name

CAPS:

This is Doctor Smith, this is Aunt Anne, and that man is General Bradshaw.

NO CAPS:

That man is my doctor, that woman is my aunt, and that man is a general in the army.

CAPS AND NO CAPS:

Our beloved Principal Valentine announced that all teachers and principals in our city get next week off!

What about the president? Many people think the word president (or pope or queen) is so important that they capitalize it all the time. To some people this may look respectful, but to many others it looks unnecessary or even wrong. Always use a capital P if the word president comes right before the president’s name (in other words, if it’s being used as part of the person’s title). Otherwise, ask yourself if you really need that capital letter.

CAPS:

Everybody greeted President Barack Obama warmly.

NO CAPS:

The former president Barack Obama threw out the first ball of the World Series.

Geographic areas: cities, states, countries, counties, rivers, oceans, streets, parks, etc.

CAPS:

North Dakota, Ohio River, Atlantic Ocean, Franklin Street, Central Park, Lake Jordan, Rocky Mountains

NO CAPS:

The ocean is deep. The mountains are high.

Regions of the United States, but not simple directions

CAPS:

I was born in the Midwest, but I grew up in the North.

NO CAPS:

I live on the north side of town.

Historical periods and events

CAPS:

the Renaissance, World War II, the Middle Ages, the Civil War, the Boston Tea Party

NO CAPS:

It was a long war. We live in an age of computers.

Religions, nationalities, and races of people

CAPS:

Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Muslims, Asians, Africans, Chinese, African Americans

NO CAPS:

There are many churches, temples, and mosques in our city, and they are attended by people of many different races.

Languages, countries, and adjectives related to those countries

CAPS:

Denmark, Danish art, Germany, German exchange student

NO CAPS:

french fries, venetian blinds, brussels sprouts, roman numerals (Some phrases have become so common in our language that the cap is being used less often. It’s not wrong to use a cap with these phrases, but ask yourself if you really need it. Are roman numerals just used in Rome? Are french fries unique to France? If you don’t really need a cap, don’t use it.)

The various names for God and the names of sacred books

CAPS:

God, Jehovah, Allah, the Bible, the Koran

NO CAPS:

There were many gods and goddesses in ancient myths.

Specific school courses, but not general subjects unless they are languages

CAPS:

I’m taking Algebra 101 and History of Ancient China.

CAPS AND NO CAPS:

I’m taking algebra, history, and French.

Names of specific schools, businesses, buildings, organizations, hospitals, churches

CAPS:

Apple Computer, Phillips Middle School, the University of Vermont, United States Capitol, World Health Organization

NO CAPS:

I want a new computer. That building is a middle school.

Brand names

CAPS:

Chevrolet Camaro, Nintendo, Cheerios, Nestle’s Crunch

Names of planets, but not sun and moon and sometimes not earth

CAPS:

Saturn has 62 moons; Mars has two moons; Earth has only one lonely moon. (Earth is capitalized when you’re referring to it as one of the planets or including it with other capitalized planets.)

NO CAPS:

The moon is full tonight, shining down on the more than six billion people who live on the earth. (The word earth is not capitalized when you use the word the and talk about the earth.)

Names of specific teams and clubs and their members

CAPS:

the Atlanta Braves, the Republican Party, Republicans

NO CAPS:

I play on a baseball team. She is a member of a political party.

Titles of movies, books, chapters, and articles

CAPS:

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Tar Heels Beat Duke 102–96, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

NO CAPS:

Capitalize every word in a title except for these:

the articles a, an, and the

the conjunctions and, but, for, or, yet, so, and nor

the words to and as

all prepositions (short ones such as in and with as well as long ones such as throughout and without); see page 50 for more information about words that look like prepositions but are not

Do capitalize any word that is the first or last word of the title or that is the first word after a dash or colon. I love the book The Best Treat of All: A New Puppy to Play With.

PAINLESS TIP

BEWARE OF THE CAP TRAP

Some people get Carried Away with Caps. They seem to think that every Word they capitalize suddenly becomes Exciting or Important. Don’t fall into the Cap Trap. CRAZY CAPS make your work look Very, Very Bad.

Making nouns possessive

When we want to show that someone owns something, we use possessive nouns.

The nose of Mary = Mary’s nose

The toes of Gary = Gary’s toes

To make a noun possessive, usually add an apostrophe and an s.

In the past, exceptions to this rule were old-fashioned or historical names, or names that end with an iz or eez sound:

RIGHT:

Moses’ tablets

Achilles’ heel

Jesus’ parables

ALSO RIGHT:

Jesus’s parables (In modern writing, this is considered also correct because we pronounce the word with the extra s—Jesus-es—so it is correct if you wish to add the apostrophe and s. Achilles ends with an eez sound and Moses ends with an iz sound. Pronouncing the es sounds silly, so we don’t add the apostrophe and s to those names.)

If two people own the same thing, use an apostrophe and s for only the second person.

Syman and Mimi’s marriage (they share one marriage)

Kate and Meg’s father (they share one father)

If the two people don’t own the same thing, use an apostrophe and s for both people.

Syman’s and Mimi’s toes (they don’t share the same toes)

Kate’s and Meg’s teeth (they don’t share the same teeth)

Showing possession when the noun is plural

If the plural ends in s (for example, boys) just add an apostrophe. If the plural does not end in s (for example, women) add an apostrophe and an s.

Inanimate objects usually don’t own things, but some possessives are okay.

What about the example the chair’s leg? It’s okay, but in formal writing it should be the chair leg or the leg of the chair. The same is true with this example:

OKAY:

my bike’s tire

BETTER:

my bike tire (I own the tire—the bike doesn’t own it.)

ALSO GOOD:

the tire on my bike

CAUTION—Major Mistake Territory!

Proper nouns (people’s names) that end in s can scramble your brain.

Here’s the key:

Mr. and Mrs. Jones have a new car.

The Joneses have a new car.

Mr. Jones’s car is new.

The Joneses’ car is new.

PAINLESS TIP

Check this out:

The kid’s bike = one kid, one bike

The kids’ bike = two (or more) kids sharing the same bike

The kids’ bikes = two (or more) kids with different bikes

Making nouns plural

One book, two books, one hat, two hats—what’s the big deal? We make words plural all the time. So you think plurals are a piece of cake? Most are, but look at some of these troublemakers:

A few nouns stay the same no matter whether you’re talking about one of them or a thousand of them. Check these out:

The plurals of some words are based on rules from foreign languages; you either have to memorize them or look them up.

RULES FOR EASY (REGULAR) PLURALS

Usually add s:

wave—waves

hat—hats

If the word ends in o, usually add es:

hero—heroes

potato—potatoes

exceptions: tattoos, hippos, radios, banjos

If the word ends in s, x, z, ch, or sh, add es:

glass—glasses

church—churches

box—boxes

bush—bushes

buzz—buzzes

If the word ends in y and there’s a vowel (a, e, i, o, or u) before the y, add s:

play—plays

monkey—monkeys

If the word ends in y and there’s a consonant before the y, change the y to i and add es:

party—parties

candy—candies

If a proper noun (someone’s name) ends in y, just add s:

the Kennedy family—the Kennedys

the Finley family—the Finleys

If a compound noun (a noun containing more than one word) has a main noun in it, add the s to the main noun:

one father-in-law, two fathers-in-law

one chief of police, two chiefs of police

If a compound noun has no main noun in it, add the s at the end:

one follow-up, two follow-ups

one trade-in, two trade-ins

Just for fun

BRAIN TICKLERSSet # 1

Find the goofs in these sentences and correct them.

Lucas’ house is next door to Bill Gates’ house; I bet he gets a lot of hand-me-down computers!

Lily is captain of the girl’s softball team.

The womans’ dress is made of silk.

Marshall and David’s fingers were nearly frostbitten after playing in the snow for three hours.

I asked dad to drive me to Maryanne’s house.

The Earth is home to dozens of species of Monkeys, more types of Fungi and Mushrooms than we can count, and many fascinating creatures living deep in the Ocean that we have yet to discover.

I heard the babie’s cries.

I borrowed my bosses car for an hour because mine was in the shop.

I grew up in the south.

The City where Batman lives is Gotham City.

There are two James’s and three Mindies in my class this year.

(Answers are on pages 52–53.)

Pronoun Pointers

What is a pronoun?

It is a word that stands in for a noun. (The word pro in Latin means for.) Pronouns are handy little critters. If you don’t believe me, let’s try talking without them.

GIMME A BREAK:

Isabela gave Isabela’s dog the dog’s bath.

MUCH SIMPLER:

Isabela gave her dog its bath.

GIMME A BREAK:

Please say the name of the person on the other end of this telephone.

MUCH SIMPLER:

Who are you? What is your name?

GIMME A BREAK:

The person named Katie sitting in that chair likes the person named Satie sitting in that chair.

MUCH SIMPLER:

She likes her.

Here are the ways we use pronouns:

to name specific people or things: You look like him.

to point to non-specific people or things: Everyone enjoyed the party, but nobody remembered to thank the hostess.

to point to some particular thing: This is the dress I want.

to show mutual action: Ryan and Wesley were wrestling and hurt each other.

to ask a question: Who doesn’t love pronouns?

to show ownership: That’s not yours—it’s mine!

to refer back to the subject: Bruce hurt himself.

to add emphasis: I myself love pronouns.

PAINLESS TIP

The self pronouns (myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, oneself, ourselves, yourselves, themselves) are used for the two purposes above only: for emphasis and to double back to the person doing the action. (See page 165 for more on the ways people often use myself incorrectly.)

Do you see how all of the underlined words above stand in for nouns? Let’s say that Ella Kate likes Julianne. She likes her. She stands in for the noun Ella Kate, and her stands in for the noun Julianne.

If I say to you, Please take this to him, the word this stands in for the noun apple or bologna sandwich or whatever it is I’m handing to you. The word him stands in for the noun Phillip or Henry or Trent or whomever I’m asking you to take it to.

We can’t always use nouns and we often need a simple little word to stand in for a whole lot of words. Imagine that I weren’t allowed to use the word we in the previous sentence. I’d have to write out the names of every single person in the world! That one little word we saves a whole lot of writing.

And what if you don’t know exactly whom you’re talking about? The word who or whom could be standing in for any number of different nouns, but we don’t know which one. If you’re wondering who is knocking at your door and you aren’t allowed to use the pronoun who, you’d have to start listing every noun you could think of. Is it Matt at my door? Is it Mom? Is it Santa? Is it the New York Giants? Is it Harry Potter? Is it... oh, my, how tired we would get if we couldn’t use pronouns.

Watching out for crazy antecedents