Geekerella: A Fangirl Fairy Tale
4/5
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About this ebook
Part romance, part love letter to nerd culture, and all totally adorbs, Geekerella is a fairy tale for anyone who believes in the magic of fandom. Geek girl Elle Wittimer lives and breathes Starfield, the classic sci-fi series she grew up watching with her late father. So when she sees a cosplay contest for a new Starfield movie, she has to enter. The prize? An invitation to the ExcelsiCon Cosplay Ball, and a meet-and-greet with the actor slated to play Federation Prince Carmindor in the reboot. With savings from her gig at the Magic Pumpkin food truck (and her dad’s old costume), Elle’s determined to win…unless her stepsisters get there first.
Teen actor Darien Freeman used to live for cons—before he was famous. Now they’re nothing but autographs and awkward meet-and-greets. Playing Carmindor is all he’s ever wanted, but the Starfield fandom has written him off as just another dumb heartthrob. As ExcelsiCon draws near, Darien feels more and more like a fake—until he meets a girl who shows him otherwise.
Ashley Poston
Ashley Poston is the New York Times bestselling author of The Dead Romantics and The Seven Year Slip. A native of South Carolina, she lives in a small gray house with too many books. You can find her on the internet, somewhere, watching cat videos and reading fan fiction.
Read more from Ashley Poston
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Reviews for Geekerella
321 ratings35 reviews
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Very fun Cinderella retelling set against the backdrop of sci-fi fandom.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book was so good! I didn’t have high expectations going in but I loved it. It was full of geeky fandom references. It covered a wide range of geekiness from cosplays to cons to fan fiction to fangirls themselves. I also really liked the dual point of view because when it comes to YA romance I always want to know what the guy is thinking. The retelling aspect of this was also spot on. The author translated the Cinderella story to nerd culture perfectly.Lastly, the supporting characters were amazing as well. Sage is pretty damn cool and a great friend. Overall, this is a great book for fangirls (and fanboys).
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My god how can people be mean to orphans? Ever since first hearing my Dad read me the fairy tale, I've always wanted the answer to that question. It keeps happening in fiction, Dickens revisits it in Oliver, Rowling in Harry Potter.
These characters immediately have the readers empathy, I'm glad that Elle deserves that empathy and that the story is as good as the original. I'd really give the book 3 1/2 stars just bumped it to four for the 2nd half of the book. I'd have liked the first third to be shortened the second third to be lengthened and the last third left just the way it is.
Best character has to be "Sage" the lesbian food truck driving manic, with best trope changing character Calliope
If I could change anything about the book I'd
have more geekery and less romance but that's just me - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My favorite fairy fairy tale as a child (and still) is Cinderella. To be able to read one with aspects of nerdiness, fandom, mistaken identity, all following the Disney movie version format was too much to resist.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Wonderful geeky retelling of the Cinderella fairy tale.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This was really freaking cute. Fluffy, predictable, and also really nerdy. I enjoyed this immensely. More importantly, I think teenage me would have loved it, too.
I received a copy of this book from Netgalley to read in exchange for an honest review. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Lots to love here - the fairytale retelling, the fandom world, the hidden identity motif. Danielle is dealing with grief over the loss of her father and a family that is frankly horrible (hence the Cinderella vibe). Damien is an actor who has been typecast and hence despised for "ruining" the fandom. Watching them get to know each other and support each other is such fun.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5It was a pretty quick read, literally taking me a day with its quick first person point of view chapters. But the short, diary entry style chapters was not the only reason it took me no time to read. I genuinely enjoyed it. I kept saying to myself “one more chapter than I’m done for today” and the next thing I knew I was already finished. All 320 pages of this book was a self proclaimed “love letter to nerd culture” and I couldn’t agree more. It takes the classic Cinderella story and gives it a geeky twist.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I really wanted to like this book as a lot of the modern takes were cute and clever. Alas “Cinderella” is not a nice person, and displays no character growth so I did not like her getting an HEA
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I expect too much on romance. I like the idea, but in the end it feels unreal.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I didn't expect to love this as much as I do. It's so much fun I've read it twice!
Geekerella was incredibly relatable and the story was so sweet.
It spoke right to my little fangirl heart! There's so many fun pop-culture and fandom references. The story feels like one we could easily step into. It helped me connect with the characters and I liked the multiple POV. It was nice that our “prince” and “princess” get to know each other over text before meeting. We don’t get that insta-love feel that we can have with Cinderella retellings. There were a few overly cheesy moments but for each one of those there was another genuinely touching one. I actually cried during the bathroom scene at the convention, it was really moving. I thought that was such a great reminder to Elle (and us) that there is always kindness to be found among humanity.
Overall this was really well executed, diverse and nicely balanced. It’s one of my favorite Cinderella retellings so far. Perfect for any geek looking for a fluffy, fun romantic read.
Recommend for fans of:
- Comic-Con & Geeky Fangirls of all kinds
- HEA Romance/Fairytale Retellings
- Fairytale Retellings in the vein of A Cinderella Story
- Star Trek, Star Wars, Firefly, Dr Who, etc.
- Diverse Reads - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Quirk Books, living up to its name, has published a contemporary young adult novel with more quirkiness than fanfiction in its contemporary, nerddom-filled retelling of Cinderella. While some may feel that contemporary takes on fairy tales are becoming tired, Geekerella might cause even the deepest cynic to take back those words. Though a heartfelt portrayal of an emotionally-complex orphan trying to further her parents’ legacy, the Cinderella aspect lives more in the background of this novel, with it serving more as a love letter to all the nerds, geeks, and fangirl/boys out there. From the frequent inclusion of quotes from protagonist Elle’s favorite tv show, the fictional and Star Trek/Wars-esque Starfield, to the true-to-life convention setting and descriptions of cosplay, Poston has successfully made fandom accessible and written a great novel in appreciation, even reverence, of it. Fandom serves as an escape for the dual perspectives of Elle and Darien in the same way that it does for so many of us.
The accessibility of fandom is one of the best parts of Geekerella, as the nature of the fandom does not matter here as much as the existence of fandom itself: that feeling you still get when you read or watch what you love for the millionth time, the deep, immediate connections you make with virtual strangers, the worry and speculation when the world decides to adapt your favorite art into a new medium, and just the general community of it all. The culmination of the story to the Starfield convention really brought all of that together. If you are someone, like me, who has a nerdgasm when you see evidence that a stranger passing by loves what you love, whether it is a t-shirt with the words may the force be with you or I solemnly swear I am up to no good or a reference to an obscure band you love, you are sure to have those feelings when reading Geekerella.
Another fantastic element is the budding friendship between Elle and her coworker, Sage, in realistic girl bonding at its finest. Too often young adult novels feature insta-love/friendship, but their friendship grows realistically from little interaction to best friendship with scenes that show them getting to know each other better while still furthering the plot along. The development of their friendship along with Sage’s character development throughout the novel serves as one of the best parts.
Oftentimes, the trouble with fairy tale retellings is that we automatically know where the story is going to end up. However, what makes it fun is the anticipation of it, the not knowing how the story will get to its inevitable conclusion, and that anticipation is what made me finish this novel in just one sitting, regardless of the somewhat caricature-styling of some of the fairy tale elements, such as the stepmother and stepsisters. The caricature of one of the stepsisters, though, somewhat turns on its head by the end, in just one of the many quirky twists of the novel, which slightly redeems that for me.
Lastly, the diversity, in Starfield, in the romantic interest being a person of color, and in the utter normality of the lesbian representation, solidified this book for me as one of my favorites of 2017. Ultimately, the reverences of geekdom, nerddom, and fandom in this adorkable, nerdy contemporary will bring me back to it again. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Charming? No. Adorable? Not quite. A-DORK-ABLE. This is the only word to perfectly describe Ashley Poston’s Geekerella. Set in a Cinderella-esque environment with a modern comic-con twist, readers will fall in love with Danielle and Darien. Although worlds apart, these two “star”-crossed lovers unite under one sky and a shared love of Starfield, a television series that’s developed a fandom that rivals the Trekkies. Through Danielle’s and Darien’s individual journeys of self-discovery, the novel’s theme, no one is ever truly alone, jumps off the pages in delightful and heartwarming scenes of love and friendship.
Poston does an incredible job of seamlessly weaving fairytale background and sci-fi cult followings with the realistic setting and characters of the novel. Her written language and dialogue are real and contemporary, and the book is absolutely bursting with sci-fi fandom references and allusions. While it’s not necessary to be a geek to enjoy all this novel has to offer, the endless connections to current fandoms are sure to leave a smile on the face of anyone who considers themselves a fangirl or fanboy. Geekerella is nothing short of the ultimate hopeless romantic nerd heaven, and for all the fans and those who are yet to be - the second star to the right, straight on ‘til morning, doesn’t seem quite as impossible to reach. So remember, “Look to the stars. Aim. Ignite.” - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Anyone who loves fairy tales with a sci-fi twist will love GEEKERELLA. Following the fairy tale plotline of Cinderella, author Ashley Poston writes a story about a geek girl, Elle Wittimer, who lives with her stepmother and stepsisters. Elle’s stepsisters sabotage her Starfield cosplay costume for the ExcelsiCon Cosplay Ball. On the other hand, teen actor Darien Freeman loves cons, well at least before he was famous. Now he is viewed as just another dumb heartthrob. Starfield fans are furious he is playing the next Federation Prince Carmindor from Starfield and Darien is not looking forward to confronting them at ExcelsiCon. When Elle and Darien’s paths cross, some expected and unexpected events occur.GEEKERELLA was fun, fun, fun to read, especially since I am a known sci-fi geek myself. Author, Ashley Poston, does a marvelous job crafting both main characters, Elle and Darien, making them believable and likable. If you want a fun, sci-fi teen romance ride, GEEKERELLA will take you there!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Elle is not excited when she sees who's been cast to play the male lead in the movie reboot of her favorite sci-fi show. She does see the possibilities, though, when a cosplay contest is announced. The prize money would be enough to get her away from her stepmother and stepsisters once she finishes her senior year. Meanwhile, Darien is secretly thrilled to be playing Carmindor, but his manager (who also happens to be his father) insists that, for the sake of Darien's image, he should play it cool. His father also insists on him appearing at the convention where the cosplay competition will take place, but due to some personal history, Darien doesn't do conventions. When he tries to contact the organizers, though, he ends up with a wrong number -- Elle's number. Neither knows who the other is. Can a romance develop in spite of secrets and differences?This plot is very similar to Jennifer Smith's This Is What Happy Looks Like, with plenty of geeky details thrown in and a Cinderella-esque framework to hold it all together. Fluffy fun -- if you think it sounds interesting, you should give it a try.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Fun summer read!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5As you probably already guessed, the story is at a girl who is a Geek + Cinderella. But it's not just that.
The reason why I absolutely loved Geekerella was because it was so realistic.
The way Elle loves the Starfield fandom so much? That was totally relatable because being a reader, I know exactly how she feels!
Geekerella is every BookWorm's, every Bibliophile's, every Geek's dream novel. It is US.
And it's so effing sweet. There's a lot of heartache, but there are beautiful moments too.
The characters, most prominently Elle, Darien and Sage are each in their own way, perfect. And together, they created one of the best retellings I've ever read.
And with this absolutely awesome book, and this review, I hereby conclude with the last review of the year 2017.
And for 2018, as Carmindor says, "Look to the stars. Aim. Ignite!" - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5One of the most adorable reads this year! I loved the nods to the original Cinderella, but come on....who doesn't love fandom references thrown into their favorite fairy tale? Frank the dog definitely stole the show, but the main cast and supporting characters all felt very genuine. During a time when I needed a feel-good escape from reality for a bit, Geekerella was there waiting. Look to the stars. Aim. Ignite!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Loved loved loved this geeky fairytale reselling!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/54 stars and a half
Even though I knew how it would end from the start (I mean, it is a modern Cinderella story, after all), I really enjoyed reading this book and its many twists. I grew attached to the characters, and particularly liked Sage as the adaptation of a fairy Godmother.
I had some trouble in getting into it at the beginning, but got caught into this book, probably thanks to the dual point of view, which is one of the things I love the most in a book. It’s a very light read, and really pleasurable one as well, so I would definitely recommend this book if you like cheesy teenage romance! - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I received a free advanced readers copy of Geekerella in exchange for an honest review. Geekerella is a book about the daughter of a famous actor in a series called Starfield. Since her father's death she has been living in a house with her stepmom and two stepsisters. The book definitely follows the story line of Cinderella, but it also has its own differences that makes the book interesting. I loved this book so much because of how real it felt, I loved the romance between Elle and Darien. I thought it was very creative to see a different side of the story through Darien's eyes. The way the author described fangirling felt very real and was easy to relate to the main characters. I also loved Gail's character and how she was technically the fairy godmother and how she helped Elle get through the story. I also enjoyed the change the author made to the story with the stepsisters. Darien was my favorite character and I loved how his character developed nicely throughout the novel. Overall I enjoyed this book very much and would recommend it to anyone who loves to fangirl!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5*Received for free from Quirk Books*
Yay! Today Geekerella was released into the world! I've already ordered a copy for my cousin for her birthday. I know she'll love it!
Geekerella was an absolutely genius book. Ashley Poston perfectly mashed together the classic Cinderella story with modern day media and fandoms. Once I started, I could not stop reading...
Every character was colorful and vibrant. Elle was a charismatic character you couldn't help but like. You feel bad about her crazy step-mother and sisters. (Although one ends up being not horrible after all.) And I loved her obsession (passed on from her parents) for Starfield. Darien, our other character, was also a fun perspective to read from. He's a movie star trying to take his new Starfield role seriously... but serious fans - like Elle - doubt his ability to play the beloved prince on screen. However, one surprising character that stole the show for me was Sage, Elle's co-worker at a vegan food trunk. She's the quirky godmother figure.... but she's also sweet, funny, and gets her own romance (lgbt!).
The romance was really cute, even though most of it happened via text. Their conversations made me laugh numerous times. Also, Elle has no idea it's Darien she's been texting. When they finally meet at ExcelsiCon it's so worth it! I loved the cos-playing and fan fun there. Also Elle's costume and the dance.
The ending was perfect and I had a ball reading about Elle and Darien's adventure. I can't recommend this sparkling contemporary more, especially for fangirls, fanboys, and anyone who knows what its like to love a franchise.
5/5 stars - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Here's the thing I find tricky about fandom books: it's hard to get involved in fictional fandoms. It doesn't matter how closely the fandoms mirror each other, it doesn't matter how rich the author makes the fandom culture in their book... some made-up universe that I've never heard of before is not going to affect me the way Middle Earth or the Whoniverse does. It's always going to fall short of what it could be in my mind.
But you know what? Geekerella is the absolute best depiction of a fictional fandom I have ever come across. I don't know if it's something about Starfield itself or the seamless way that other [genuine] fandoms are worked in, but this book does a fantastic job of being steeped in fictional worlds. It's a phenomenal depiction of fandom culture -- hypocrisy, people being judgmental of others' level of devotion, warts and all. It brings back all of the delight and frustration of discovering something like BSG for the first time.
As a fairy tale retelling, Geekerella is fantastic, somehow managing to take a familiar story and make it decidedly not predictable. The pumpkin chariot was possibly my favourite part -- but, let's face it, it was all a delight.
But do you know what my favourite part was? Sage, the pumpkin truck girl who is a total LotR nerd and has a wicked sense of humour. I want to be friends with her and vent about the Hobbit. Heck, if she ever gets her own book, I will move heaven and earth to get my hands on a copy.
So, if you love sci fi or fantasy in a fandom kind of way, and if you're big on fairy tale retellings, this is a must-read. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This is a fun story, and I flew through it! I'm a fan of Cinderella retellings, mostly because I love when the Cinderella character overcomes all her hardships. Geekerella is exactly that and did not disappoint. I loved the 'geek' twist to it all with the Starfield fandom, cosplay, and tumblr posts. All in all, I'm really just happy that Franco, the dog, get's a happy ending as well.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This YA was wonderful! I first heard about it after watching a Booktuber (the book side of YouTube) who hauled it earlier this month.A new re-telling of Cinderella, this story follows Elle, a giant fan of a certain TV series, and Dare, the actor playing the Prince in said series. After a wrong number, the two grow close over text messages, not knowing who the other is. Elle lives with her stepmother and twin stepsisters in their slightly rundown house. Cue stepmother that doesn’t really care about her and stepsisters who appear to make her life horrible all the time. Elle doesn’t have the best life, but at least she has her fandom. And I loved this book, though it only gets 4 stars because it could have had a bit more complicated story. But Elle and Dare were fun to see grow into their own, and the Con was great to imagine.The problem that I had was how two-dimensional the characters, outside of Dare and Elle, were. The other characters don’t change with only her one stepsister showing that she is more than a twin, which was hinted at from the beginning. Still worth the read and happy to have read it.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I don't like scifi or the related conventions, and I'm not a fan of fairy tale retellings, therefore you'd think Geekerella is not the book for me. But it drew me in with the quirky cover, and when I started the first page, I was hooked. You kind of forget it's a Cinderella story because the plot is so interesting, and the characters are great. You're rooting for Elle from the beginning, hating her evil stepmother and stepsisters, and you also get sucked into the story of Starfield and the fandom surrounding the show. I totally loved this book and already want to re-read it! It's going to be a hit.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I am definitely going against the trend but I did not like like this book despite it being a modern retelling of "Cinderella". The writing was stilted and it felt awkward to read - there was no flow. The romance, which developed via text messages, was superficial and I didn't connect with either Elle or Darien. They were one dimensional and I couldn't understand what they saw in each other. There was also no explanation for why the 'bad' people in the story acted the way they did. Surely valid reasons needed to be given? The only character I found halfway interesting was Sage with her pumpkin food truck.I was really hoping to enjoy this book as I usually enjoy fairytale retellings, but "Geekerella" wasn't for me.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I loved this story! it's such a fun twist on the Cinderella story. I enjoyed Elle with her hopes and dreams and fandom of a sci-fi TV show. I enjoyed Sage who doesn't really give a crap and helps Elle like a fairy godmother and I liked Darien who you kind of wonder if some child stars or any celebrities have issues like he does. I thought this was a lot of fun to read and if I had read it on the weekend I probably would have read it in a day. It's a very fast read but entertaining. Not a deep book but who cares, I like being entertained. I will say talking to a stranger over text messaging is a little creepy and you don't know who is on the other side. It could be a sex offender.
I got this as an advanced copy through NetGalley. - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/53.5
A cute story. A nice love letter to fandoms wrapped in a adept Cinderella fairytale retelling. The books editing was a bit shaky in spots, but overall this was entertaining enough to hit above the three star mark for me. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Wow, very good book, Read it in one setting.
Book preview
Geekerella - Ashley Poston
Carmindor.
THE CROWD IS FULL OF MONSTERS.
Okay, not actual monsters. But you try flying to New York City on a red-eye, subsisting on nothing but burnt coffee and half a grapefruit, sitting for thirty minutes in a makeup chair just so your stylist can get your curly hair just right (for God’s sake, man, it’s hair), in designer jeans that are pinching you in places that aren’t even awake this early while you’re trying to remember the answers to all the questions the cohosts are going to ask you—all on three hours of sleep, three—and then being excited to see a crowd of fans.
Breathe, I tell myself. It’s fine.
I pace back and forth behind the outside stage. No one has spotted me yet, but my skin’s crawling as if I’m being watched. It comes with the territory.
Now I know why Gail, my handler, told me to pop two Advil before the show. I’ve been to rock concerts (and, back in the day, convention panels), but this audience is ridiculous. Gail said they’ve been standing out here since four this morning. What person in their right mind would stand in line that early for me?
Beside me, Gail bounces on her well-worn sneakers. I don’t think she’s had the chance to unlace them since the second episode of Seaside Cove. She’s scrolling through her emails, nodding. Everything’s set. We’ve got your flight booked for tonight, your ride to and from the airport, two assistants running interference for paparazzi…
Then she looks up at me and smiles. We’re golden.
She hands me a water bottle, and I put it against my neck. Her strawberry-blonde hair is pulled back into a too-tight frizzy bun, a sure sign she’s just as stressed as I am. Just breathe. You’ll be fine. This is just the starter course for the media blitz. You can do it.
"You could say I’m leveling up," I joke.
She gives me a blank look.
Like in video games? When you get enough experience points you—shutting up now.
I unscrew the bottle and take a swig. Through the gap in the backstage curtains, I watch my fans shift impatiently. I squint. Is that girl wearing my face on her shirt?
Don’t pay too much attention,
she replies. Her phone beeps and she pulls it out again. She frowns.
I give her a side-eye. Everything all right?
She scrolls through her email.
Earth to Gail?
Nothing.
"Gail Morgan O’Sullivan."
What? Oh!
She shoves her phone into her back pocket. Sorry, sorry. Do you ever feel like you’re forgetting something?
My underwear. All the time,
I say with dead seriousness. Sometimes I give myself a wedgie just to make sure I have them on.
Her worry cracks open into a small smile. "You do not."
Gail is older—twenty-five or so—with a brushing of freckles on her cheeks that darken in the summer, and almost glow when she blushes. Aside from my signed copy of Batman: Year One, she’s the best friend I’ve got. When you’re me, real friends don’t come all that easy. Or at all. They used to, but I learned the hard way that things change. Especially when you’re famous.
A stagehand comes over to mic me. I thread it under my blazer and clip the receiver to the back of my jeans. Two minutes,
he says, and rushes away.
"Oh-kay! Gail says.
Remember to smile and just be the best you you can be." She looks me over with an eagle eye, putting a lock of hair back in place and straightening the blazer over my T-shirt. It’s the most expensive thing I own—the blazer, not the T-shirt—as per my agent’s request. He wants me to look approachably geeky but still Burberry-wearing Seaside Cove material. Which, as far as I’m concerned, are two streams that you shouldn’t ever cross.
Look to the stars. Aim. Ignite.
Gail chants. She hugs me tightly. I’m so proud of you, Darien. Your dad is too.
Proud of the money,
I mumble.
Her mouth twitches. I don’t think it’s just—
The audience’s shrill cheer cuts through her words. Just shrill, all-hell-loose screams. I’m pretty sure my costar Jessica Stone—sweet, popular, with an indie-film track record that’s way more impressive than my Seaside Cove stint—gets a crowd that’s a lot…calmer. Her dude followers don’t draw I HEART JESS on T-shirts, they just…well, never mind. I don’t really want to think about the creepy Google searches of Jess Stone fans. Our crowds are different, end of story. The Starfield director, Amon Wilkins, of giant robot movie fame, probably figured she would bring in the coveted awards attention and accolades. But I guess I’ll find out soon enough, since we start filming tomorrow.
As for me? I apparently bring an army of monsters to a beloved cult fandom. My fans call themselves SeaCos—or maybe it’s Darienites. And today? This is a publicity stunt. This is my manager and PR team at their finest.
Scotty can beam me up anytime now.
That’s the thing too. I know I’m not the first young guy to take over a character that people already love. I’m sure Chris Pine had people who didn’t like him because he was Kirk 2.0. But I’m different. I’m eighteen. He was twenty-something. He had time to refine his No Fraks Given. I still worry about matching my socks and making sure no one uncovers my Star Wars boxers. Plus, right now, my hands are clammy and I think I’m starting to sweat, and sweating during a televised interview is the worst possible thing you can do.
Breathe in, breathe out. You can do this, Darien.
The stagehand rounds back and corrals me up the steps to the stage. He starts counting down with his fingers.
Five…four…
I smooth my blazer. Swallow my anxiety.
And now let’s welcome our next guest to the stage,
one of the cohosts says, quieting the crowd, "the young actor better known as the king of Seaside Cove"—Holy Ego-Crusher, Batman, that knocks off all my street-cred—"and now picking up the mantle as our favorite royal from the stars, Federation Prince Carmindor…Darien Freeman!"
Breathe in. Breathe out. Put on a smile.
Like a superhero donning a mask, I step out of me and into Darien Freeman, swallowed up by the ravaging screams of five hundred teenage girls.
THE BEAUTIFUL FACE—ANNOYINGLY BEAUTIFUL, the kind you’ll remember because it’ll be plastered on every fragrance ad and billboard for the next ten years—of Darien Freeman stretches across the entirety of my stepmother’s 54-inch plasma TV, grinning in an easygoing sort of way. Brown skin, long eyelashes, curly hair. He might look the part, but his smile’s so bright it’s almost blinding. Not dour, brooding Federation Prince material. Not even cut from the same cloth.
Carmindor smiled only once in all fifty-four episodes. At Princess Amara in episode 53. The episode before—
No, no. No one thinks about that last episode, let alone talks about it. It never happened. I even blacklisted any mention of it from my blog.
Rockefeller Center is crowded with Starfield blue and silver. A gaggle of fangirls in the front row wave around STARCRUSH ME! and I WANT TO WABBA-WABBA WITH YOU signs like they’ve all watched the interstellar missions against the Nox firsthand. Which they haven’t.
Even I haven’t.
Dad, though…he was there from the beginning. The original fanboy. He even started a convention for it. ExcelsiCon. We went every year. I remember meeting the aging cast, getting my stargun signed. Hiding it in my book bag during school. Waking up every morning to Dad’s alarm clock playing the theme song. Eating Wabba-Wabba Flakes for breakfast (which were really Frosted Flakes, but six-year-old me didn’t know the difference). Stargazing in the summers and pretending to defeat the Nox in our backyard. Saving the galaxy from being sucked into the Black Nebula…
Living with Dad was like living in a universe where the Federation Prince Carmindor existed.
And then—in the blink of an eye—that universe vanished.
My finger hovers over the POWER button on the remote, but I can’t seem to look away. How will Seaside Cove fans clash with us Stargunners? It’s like seeing two souped-up racecars headed for a collision at full speed—I have to watch.
Leaning back in the comfy-looking chair, Darien Freeman waves—a little shy, a little taken aback—to his sea of fans as the cohosts welcome him to the show. I’m sure he thinks it’s cute.
It’s great to be here,
Darien Freeman begins. His fans screech like ambulance sirens: I love you, Darien!
and Marry me!
Ugh, gag me.
One of the cohosts, a guy with a massive chin, says, We’re so excited to have you! I remember—and this might date me—but I remember staying up late just to watch the show. It’s a classic! How do you feel stepping into a role as big as Carmindor?
The actor smiles. His teeth are too white, his lips too balanced—I bet he practices it in the mirror. It’s an honor, for sure,
he says, even though he wouldn’t know a classic if it shot phaser cannons at him. And I’m looking forward to stepping into Carmindor. Big shoes to fill.
Big boots, you mean,
I say to no one. David Singh was phenomenal. A barrier breaker in the days when almost no other sci-fi shows had a lead actor of color. An advocate for human rights, onscreen and off. A man who tell truly believed in the philosophy of Starfield.
"Well, unlike Rick here, I never watched Starfield, says the second cohost, a petite woman in a white pantsuit who probably doesn’t mean to look like a Stormtrooper but totally does.
But it seems like everyone knows about it these days! That motto—how does it go?"
Look to the stars. Aim. Ignite,
Darien says. "And I hope you become a fan. Starfield has a little something for everyone. It’s a story about the good ship Prospero and its crew as they fight to protect the galaxy and uphold the standards of peace and equality. Oh—he grins—
and fight aliens."
That sounds downright terrifying!
The cohost gasps. I roll my eyes. Fight aliens
is not how I’d describe facing down the Nox King—technically the humans are the aliens in the series. But then again, I’m an actual Stargunner.
Now, don’t hate us for this,
the cohost goes on, "but we like to play little games on our show, and since you seem to know so much about Starfield, I thought I could challenge you to Dunk Tank!"
The camera pans wide to a water-filled booth with a bull’s-eye on the side. The camera cuts back to Darien, looking—well, faking—a shocked expression. Oh man! Really?
Of course!
Then the cohost reaches behind her chair and pulls out a water gun. "Let’s see how well you can school us in Starfield! Every time you get an answer wrong, I get to take a shot at you."
Oh, I think. This’ll be good. There’s no way he knows anything about the series beyond its name.
The crowd begins to chant in a loud, raucous voice. Dunk tank! Dunk tank! Dunk tank!
Darien throws his arms out to the crowd dramatically. Really? Really? You want to see me get dunked?
Dunk tank! Dunk tank!
the crowd chants, and I have to agree.
What do you say, Darien?
the woman host asks, grinning.
He sighs, hanging his head—acting all oh, fine, let’s get this over with. Then he slaps his hands on the side of the armchair and stands, shrugging out of his expensive-looking blazer. All right! You’re on.
Oh yeah? Let’s see what you’ll get wrong, Darien Freeman. I fold my arms and settle back in my chair. Onscreen, Darien climbs up onto the dunk tank, securing goggles around his eyes, and gives the thumbs-up.
The woman cocks her water gun and looks at a card in her hand. Question one! What is the name of the government that Carmindor is a part of?
Seriously? Too easy!
Darien shouts back at her. The Federation!
A buzzer dings, signaling the right answer, and the audience boos, shouting to dunk him already. Something goes flying past Darien’s head—I think it’s underwear. He doesn’t look fazed in the least, grinning from ear to ear, swinging his feet underneath the plank he’s sitting on.
Fine, we’ll get a little tougher!
the big-chin cohost shouts. He reads the next question. Who is Carmindor’s best friend?
Euci! A little harder than that!
Darien eggs them on.
"How about what Euci does on the ship? Or in which episode does he betray Carmindor to the Nox to save his colony? Or which episode does that colony blow up anyway? I mutter.
How about that question, pretty boy?"
The crowd chants louder. Dunk tank, dunk tank, dunk tank!
What’s the name of the ship?
"Prospero!"
What is the Federation salute called?
The promise-sworn!
The female cohost grins and whips out the final card, clearly about to go in for the kill. I edge to the front of my seat.
What does Carmindor call his love interest in the final episode of the series?
she asks.
Darien hesitates on that one. He looks around, out at the crowd.
No cheating!
the cohost cries. Are you stumped? Ten, nine…
Up on the plank, Darien chews on his cheek, rocking back and forth. I snort. Of course he doesn’t know this one. He’s never watched an episode of Starfield in his life.
Five! Four! Three!
The crowd begins to count along. The cohost spreads her feet apart and aims with one hand—very dramatically, which is not at all a good way to aim a water gun—as Darien scrubs the back of his neck, looking puzzled.
Two…ONE!
The crowd cheers.
The female cohost fires her shot and it hits the bull’s-eye directly. A siren wails and a flashing light spins above Darien Freeman’s perfectly groomed head, and the plank slips out from beneath him. He goes tumbling into the water, and the crowd goes wild. They’re loving it.
Strangely, though, I’m not.
"It’s ah’blena, I mutter, even though he’s underwater. Even though I’m seeing him through a TV. Even though he definitely can’t hear me and I’m just talking to a plasma flat screen. Still. If he’s going to be Carmindor, it’s something he should know. Dunk tank or no dunk tank.
Ah’blena is what he calls her."
Onscreen, Darien emerges from the tank soaking wet and flips his wet hair out to the crowd, and they scream, reaching up their hands. He grins at them.
I scowl. At this point, the only way the movie can salvage itself is by announcing the perfect villain. Obviously, it should be the Nox King, because how cool would that be? The Nox are the natural enemies of the Federation, but unfortunately the early-’90s SFX in the original series didn’t do so hot with their giant ears. A reboot could make them look way better. Plus—let’s be honest—think of the slash fiction potential. I glance at my phone, just to check the time, but I’ve still got a good twenty minutes before I’m on Pumpkin duty.
Onscreen, Darien takes a towel handed to him by a PA and begins to dry off. But then someone yells at him to take his shirt off. He pauses, turning back to the crowd.
Really?
he asks them.
They scream in reply.
The screams get louder as he reaches for the bottom of his soaked shirt. I can already see the definition of his chest through the fabric. Everyone can. I groan. Why can’t life have a fast-forward button?
Unlike the twins, I’m not a Darien Freeman fangirl. And I’m definitely not a fan of that teenage wet dream of a show Seaside Cove.
But then Darien Freeman peels off his shirt, and my mouth falls open. His abs and chest beam across Catherine’s plasma TV, piercing through my sleepy brain like a ray of hope in this godless universe.
He…he’s certainly buffed up for the Federation Prince,
I mutter. I’ll give him that.
I stare longer than I want to. Longer that I’ll ever—ever—admit. Darien, clearly loving every minute, spreads his arms and then, after a moment, flourishes a bow toward the audience.
The woman cohost begins fanning herself with her water gun. "Well. That makes up for you losing! Can I touch them?"
Outside, a rumble rips through the air so loud that it quakes the pictures on the mantel and I jump. Crap. I’d know that sound anywhere.
The Magic Pumpkin is coming.
Quickly, I turn back to the TV, clasping the remote like a prayer. C’mon, just announce who the villain is!
I beg. "Please let it be the Nox King! Please! Please!"
So, as the hero of the galactic Federation
—big-chin guy gives his cohost a pitying little lady look as Darien pulls his T-shirt back on—you need a nemesis…
Think of the monologues! Think of the OT3s!
I cry out to no one. "Just give me something, universe!"
Big Chin goes on as though I’m not making a very compelling case. "Now I hear the villain has been very hush-hush and there have been some…rumors…going around. About a certain…lady."
My mouth falls open wordlessly. If it’s a lady, it’s not the Nox King. But then it’ll have to be…
I lean in closer to hear over the rumble of the Pumpkin, holding the candle on the coffee table to keep it from rattling in its jar. Darien Freeman says something snarky, fiddles with his blazer cuffs, and wait for it…wait for it…
I squint to read his lips. They’re nice lips, at least. And I recognize the syllables that push around them. The way his mouth forms the villain’s name, the way his tongue curves around the sound.
The Pumpkin honks from the driveway, and next door, Franco begins yapping. The horn blares again, but Sage is going to have to wait—she’s way early, anyway. I just sit back, stunned. I can’t believe it. They picked the one villain—the one character—I never want to think about again. In the original Starfield, Prince Carmindor shouts her name to the skies with fist-shaking agony, in an image you may recognize from the internet meme Angry Shouting Soul-Crushing Angst.
Then again, she’s the only villain who makes sense for a movie reboot. The only one who could rip your weak human heart out of your chest and use your spine like floss against the teeth of agony and bitterness. Prince Carmindor’s one and only love interest.
Princess Amara.
Big Chin looks at the screen. "And if you want to be one of the lucky few to meet the Federation Prince himself, Midlight Entertainment is teaming up with ExcelsiCon this year to host a fan competition! Dress up as your favorite Starfield character and you could win once-in-a-life-time tickets to ExcelsiCon’s masquerade ball, where the winners will be treated to an exclusive meet-and-greet with our man Darien Freeman, plus tickets to the premiere of Starfield in L.A.!"
I shake my head. The only part of that prize I’d want are the tickets to L.A. And maybe the chance to tell Darien Freeman what I think of his stupid, vapid Carmindor to his stupid, vapid face.
Darien Freeman gives the host a weird look. I…what?
The host just stares at him, open mouthed. There’s an awkward pause. Then Darien Freeman looks at the TV again. At me. An emotion crosses his face I can’t quite recognize—something he’s trying to hide—and millions of Americans are watching.
You know, Darien. ExcelsiCon!
Darien nods distractedly. Right, right. Sorry. Of course.
The female cohost puts a hand on his knee. "Darien, it was so nice to have you on the show and we can’t wait for Starfield, coming to theaters next spring!"
Suddenly, there’s a noise off-camera. Shouting. Someone climbs onto the stage and takes a running start for the actor. A girl in a homemade I’LL SEA YOU AT THE COVE T-shirt and bikini bottoms.
Her mouth connects to his with such force that it sends them both tumbling over the sofa. Security swoops in. The camera cuts to a Huggies commercial.
I sink even deeper into Catherine’s squishy chair. This is Starfield now? All of these SeaCos and Darienites flocking to my Starfield? Where they treasure abs and golden sunsets more than lifelong promise-sworns and celebrating your own weirdness?
Fine. If the universe thinks they can dish it, then I can dish it right back. I shove myself to my feet and thunder up the stairs, hurtling into my room. I wrench open my laptop just as Sage lays on the Magic Pumpkin’s horn in my driveway.
I ignore it and pull up my blog. Honestly, Chloe and Cal weren’t wrong—when it comes to the internet, you do need to get your reaction up as soon as possible. And if I do anything in this life, it’s this: writing about the catastrophe that will become Starfield. Documenting it. After forty years this is how Hollywood repays us Stargunners? By giving us Darien Freeman?
FAN-TASTIC OR FAN-SERVICE? I bang out into the title
field. Perfect.
My fingers shake as they fly across the keyboard. Words just pour out of me. I don’t know where they’re coming from. Maybe years of pent-up rage of not being appreciated. Of having to watch reruns on a secondhand TV for years just to see the HD face of some idiot heartthrob wreck my father’s favorite character.
My favorite character.
The horn blares again, and I know the neighbors are wondering what a food truck is doing in the driveway.
I’m coming!
I shout. With a click, I post the article, sending it out into the netherverse.
Thirty seconds later, I’ve pulled my work shirt over my head, slung my satchel over my shoulder, and hopped in shotgun to the ostentatiously orange monstrosity that is my place of employment.
You’re late,
she says in a voice that matches her chlorine-green hair. Dull. Pretty weird. Not interested in talking to me. It was probably once a deep green, because she’s the type of person who would dye her hair the color of her name—Sage. "I’ve been waiting here for ever."
Sorry,
I say quickly. A creepy laughing pumpkin hangs from the rearview mirror that my coworker adjusts as she backs out. I had to…do something.
In a million years, or a million universes, I would never admit to Sage that I’m a Stargunner. I’m sure she’d just laugh. Wait, isn’t the RiverDogs stadium the other way?
I add as she turns down one of Charleston’s notorious one-way streets.
Change of plans.
I…
My voice trails off as I glance at a passing street sign. "I think this is one way the other way."
Sage says nothing, just grips the wheel tighter, a grin curving her hot-pink lips. On her otherwise expressionless face, it looks…out of place. Like a stuffed animal in the middle of a blood puddle. Demonic almost.
Tally-ho!
Sage shouts—so loud that I jump—and yanks around on the gearshift.
I scramble for my seatbelt. I have my license, but since her mom is the owner—and thus our boss—Sage is the one who gets the driver’s seat. The downside is that she’s also a lunatic behind the wheel. And everywhere else, too. Honestly, if I could work anywhere else, I would. But since the only thing on my resume is my ill-fated stint at the country club—which I am not going to return to, no matter what Catherine says—I’m probably lucky the Pumpkin even wanted me at all.
There are worse jobs, I guess. I could be getting attacked by fangirls like poor, pretty Darien Freeman.
I’M SO, SO, SO SORRY.
Gail hands me an ice pack as soon as I make it to the green room.
What just happened?
I take it and wince as I press the pack against the back of my neck.
Gail shakes her head. I thought security had her…
I mean, they did,
I say. Right after she had me. On the floor. I thought I’d choke on her tongue.
My damp hair—no longer perfectly curled—sticks to my neck like seaweed.
The fangirl had come at me so fast, I barely knew what—or who—hit me until I was already flipping over the rock-hard sofa and onto my already bad back. Which is ridiculous, I know: I’m eighteen, I shouldn’t have a bad back. But after two years of carrying my costar around on Seaside Cove—it was supposed to be romantic, the fans loved it—my chiropractor told me to lay off the stunts for a while. I’m pretty sure that includes random girls lip-locking me in the middle of Hello, America.
Gail rubs her hands together nervously. "I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again. I’m sorry. Was my fault completely. I should’ve had more security. I should’ve said something."
Hey,
I interrupt, gently touching her elbow. I’m sure it’s not your fault, you know that. We both knew these abs were killer.
She gives me a pained look, but smiles. Don’t make me laugh! I’m your handler; I should’ve handled this before they surprised you on live TV. Mark’s gonna shank me right up the middle this time.
I sink onto the green room couch. Mark. My manager, my number one cheerleader, my bailer-out-of-jail, and—somewhere far, far down that list in a galaxy far, far away—my father. Gail’s been on his bad side for quite a while now. To him, she’s a fumbling idiot and sometimes she does fray at the edges, but everyone does. And if he thinks she is a fumbling idiot, I don’t even want to know what he thinks of me.
Besides, Gail’s the only person left from B.S.C.—Before Seaside Cove. Everyone else, my assistants and their assistants and Gail’s assistants, have all gone through Mark’s wringer, but Gail stayed. She’s a monument to where I came from. A piece of history from a time when I never thought a fan would tackle me on the stage of Hello, America.
I also never thought I’d purposefully miss a Starfield question. I knew the answer too—it was so easy. But that was the script. I’d miss ah’blena, get dunked, and show my abs. All in a day’s work.
Gail motions to my neck. Hurt bad?
I can feel it, so I think that’s a good sign.
Nodding, she sits down beside me. Once security pried off the fan, the producers ushered me into my dressing room to get checked out and go over the legal jargon I signed