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    Stuff Every Grandfather Should Know
    Stuff Every Grandfather Should Know
    Stuff Every Grandfather Should Know
    Ebook128 pages1 hour

    Stuff Every Grandfather Should Know

    By James Knipp

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    About this ebook

    This pocket-sized guide is the perfect gift for new and first-time grandfathers.

    Grandfathering is a serious job—and not always an easy one—but that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun. This handy gift book contains all the wisdom, know-how, and trivia grandfathers and grandfathers-to-be need to know, and gifting it is a terrific way to announce that you're expecting! Topics include:

    • How to Pick Your Grandfather Nickname
    • How to Give Parenting Advice
    • Kid Care and Feeding 101
    • How to Stay Healthy, Wealthy, and Wise
    • Six Classic Grandfatherly Trick and Pranks
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherQuirk Books
    Release dateFeb 12, 2019
    ISBN9781683691013
    Stuff Every Grandfather Should Know

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      Book preview

      Stuff Every Grandfather Should Know - James Knipp

      ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

      Introduction

      grand•fa•ther

      n: 1. the father of one’s mother or father.

      2. a forefather; an ancestor.

      We all have an idea of a grandfather: an elderly chap sitting in an easy chair dispensing pearls of wisdom, usually starting with back in my day…, from behind an open newspaper. But a grandfather is more than a cartoonish image, more than the father of your parent.

      When I learned that I was going to be a grandfather I thought I had another few years before I took on that particular role, and the life I had hoped for my daughter didn’t include having a child at such a young age. But when the day arrived and this beautiful little life-form came squalling into the world, she stole my heart and I swore I would do everything I could to be the best PopPop possible.

      In some ways, it’s been easy. Watching my baby granddaughter transform into a beautiful little girl has been a joyous adventure, and I’m looking forward to sharing the next few decades as she grows into a wonderful young lady.

      In other ways, it’s been harder than I thought. Managing a household full of adults, teenagers, and children is a challenge no matter how much you love them. But I have found—thanks to the perspective and patience I’ve gained by this stage of life—that I’m a better PopPop than I was a father. And through experience, meeting other grandfathers, and researching this book, I found that a grandfather can be many things.

      He can be a fortysomething man who wears graphic tees and plays Dungeons & Dragons on the weekend. He can be a construction worker a decade away from retirement, with calloused hands and a warm heart. He can be a second father who fills a void when required and stands back when that vacancy is filled. He can be a grandfather through marriage or adoption who loves his instant grandchildren as much as he loves kids who share his genes.

      He can be a shoulder to lean on, a jester or judge, a secret-keeper or truth-teller. A grandfather can be whatever his children and his children’s children need, whenever they need it. I have been many of these things and more as a grandfather, and I’ve gained my own pearls of wisdom on the way. As you embark on your own adventure with your grandchildren, I hope they work for you as well.

      What Kind of Grandfather Are You?

      All kinds of people can become grandfathers at various stages in life, so it’s no surprise that there are many different styles of grandfathering. And like most mysterious endeavors in life (parenting, interpretive dance, vlogging about snack foods), you don’t know exactly how you’ll tackle it until you’re deep into the practice—until now! The following quiz uses dozens of minutes of research to help determine your grandpa-sona.

      Which of these Father’s Day gifts would you like most?

      a. A box set of Harry Potter movies

      b. A tie and cuff links

      c. A subscription to a genealogy website

      d. A shiny new toolbox

      e. A shot glass that reads PopPop Fuel

      It’s your eight-year-old grandchild’s birthday. What do you pick up as a present?

      a. Tickets to Disney on Ice

      b. A sturdy new pair of shoes

      c. A day at a museum

      d. The kid’s first tape measure

      e. A book called 1001 Experiments to Gross Out Your Parents

      What are you listening to right now?

      a. Rock and/or roll

      b. Something classic and orchestral, like a nice Bach cantata

      c. NPR or light jazz

      d. Nothing. It’s hard to hear over this table saw!

      e. A humor podcast—and it skews a little blue, if I’m being honest

      What’s your favorite ’80s movie?

      a. The Princess Bride

      b. Wall Street

      c. Stand by Me

      d. Platoon

      e. Weekend at Bernie’s

      What’s your favorite weekend chore?

      a. Rearranging my CD collection

      b. Balancing the checkbook

      c. Organizing my bookshelves

      d. Putting a dent in the ol’ honey do list

      e. Chores? That’s what I had kids for!

      If you answered mostly As…you’re the Cool Grandfather: This is the easygoing, hip-and-with-it grandfather who gets his grandkids. Need someone to chaperone the class trip, go fishing, or attend an invitation-only princess tea party? He’s your guy. Willing to drop all at the child’s beck and call, this cool cat will enhance the next generation’s musical taste and introduce the youngster to the best in graphic tees, old-school television, and movies from the ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s.

      If you answered mostly Bs…you’re the Chief Executive Grandfather: This guy believes in boundaries. And order. And turning off lights when you leave the room and loading the dishwasher the right way and pretty much anything that keeps the forces of chaos from overrunning the world. The CEG understands that everything has a place and that those who run a tight ship sail for happier shores. He may seem stern, but this grandfather provides vital lessons about discipline and routine.

      If you answered mostly Cs…you’re the Teacher Grandfather: Speaking of lessons, this grandfather finds them everywhere. Part family historian, part storyteller, this guy is a walking, talking Wikipedia. You’ll frequently find him with his nose buried in a book or a newspaper (or even a tablet). He’s your go-to guy whether you’re writing a book report, in need of relationship advice, or dying to know why cousin Myrtle always wears that weird hat.

      If you answered mostly Ds…you’re the Handyman Grandfather: You’ll often find this guy puttering around his basement workshop, garden shed, or kitchen table covered in clutter. He can fix anything from a busted radio to an unwound cassette tape (hey, you might listen to it again one day!). Often the most patient of the grandfatherly types, he has a tool for everything, a belief that the best lessons are learned over a workbench, and a never-ending supply of duct tape.

      If you answered mostly Es…you’re the Funnyman Grandfather: Teller of jokes, both dadly and off-color, this guy puts the fun in funny (and sometimes dysfunction). Never one to take life too seriously, this grandfather will don silly hats, engage in rip-roaring tickle fights, and doggedly ask you to pull his finger. Always there to remind you that age is a state of mind and it’s never too late to have a second childhood, the Funnyman Grandfather is the guy you want to visit when you’re having a crappy day and need the ol’ frown turned upside down.

      Of course, the

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