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    Pastoring 101
    Pastoring 101
    Pastoring 101
    Ebook144 pages2 hours

    Pastoring 101

    By Brian Dukes

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    About this ebook

    Pastoring 101 is written from the perspective of a young pastor who wishes he had been better prepared for the ministry. He found himself in situations on a regular basis for which he was unprepared to handle. After feeling defeated and ready to quit many times and realizing the overwhelming statistics of many pastors who do quit, he felt compelled to share his heart and what he had learned with others in ministry. He encourages and challenges all to stay the course by not allowing discouragement to rule but by keeping their eyes on the Prize, which is Jesus.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherNew Harbor Press
    Release dateOct 5, 2020
    ISBN9781393719854
    Pastoring 101

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      Book preview

      Pastoring 101 - Brian Dukes

      Pastoring_101_Large_Front_RGB.jpg

      PASTORING 101

      PASTORING 101

      EVERYTHING THEY DON’T TELL US

      Brian Dukes

      New Harbor Press

      Copyright © 2020 Brian Dukes

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.

      New Harbor Press

      1601 Mt Rushmore Rd, Ste 3288

      Rapid City, SD 57701

      www.newharborpress.com

      Pastoring 101/Dukes —1st ed.

      First edition: 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

      Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

      Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

      Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

      Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, IL 60188. All rights reserved.

      Contents

      DEDICATION

      FOREWORD

      INTRODUCTION

      CHAPTER ONE: WHAT IF THIS IS ALL FOR ONE?

      CHAPTER TWO: TAKE RISKS

      CHAPTER THREE: STAY CREATIVE

      CHAPTER FOUR: DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THIS?

      CHAPTER FIVE: THE CRAZIES ARE COMING

      CHAPTER SIX: THE COMPANY YOU KEEP

      CHAPTER SEVEN: FAMILY FIRST

      CHAPTER EIGHT: ADMIT IT!

      CHAPTER NINE: THE CONCLUSION OF THE MATTER

      DEDICATION

      Coyt H. Jordan Jr., January 3, 1929–February 12, 2019

      Coyt H. Jordan Jr. was my papa; he was the single greatest influence in my life. He and my grandmother had four children together, all of whom played a huge role in molding me into the man I am today. He passed his love of Jesus to them, and they, in turn, passed that love on to all seven of his grandchildren.

      I never felt I had grandparents; instead, it just seemed as though I had an extra set of parents. My papa would spend hours telling us the most amazing stories of his childhood. My twin brother and I would sit on both sides of him in his recliner and would listen so intently to what he had to say. He was hands down the best storyteller I’ve ever met. He remembered such details; it was as though he could take you back in time with him and let you experience it for yourself.

      He loved Jesus with such a true and genuine heart. His love for his Creator never seemed forced or for show. He just knew His Heavenly Father adored him, and come hell or high water he was in it until the end. The things he instilled in me were inescapable. In my early twenties, I ran from the Lord as hard I as could run, yet all I had been taught always seemed to chase me down. I knew Jesus loved me because my papa had literally told me since birth. But more than that, it was because I could feel God’s love flowing out of him. 

      When I returned to the Lord, he was a huge sense of encouragement. When I surrendered to the calling on my life, he was right beside me praying for me as I was ordained.

      He knew the difficulties and the rewards of ministry firsthand. He had been a pastor himself for many years and had seen all the heartache and also the joys that it can bring. When I interviewed him for this book, I knew I had to tell his story. He had walked through some rough days of rejection. One of the saddest things he ever said to me was that during his entire time as a pastor he never once had a close friend to confide in. I truly felt sad for him, but even sadder for all those not blessed enough to have a man like him in their lives.

      My papa wasn’t a perfect man. He was human like all of us. He struggled with depression like many pastors do. Sadly, he felt alone. He carried the weight of so many and never had someone to help him carry his burdens.

      In spite of all this, he never regretted answering the call. He was so proud of having been a pastor, of all the work for the Cross he had done, and even after he retired, he always signed his name, Rev. Coyt H. Jordan Jr. Because that would always be who he was in his heart.

      One day before our Sunday service, he came into my office and said he felt very strongly the Lord had told him to pray for me. He said, I woke up this morning and the Lord told me to do as Elijah did with Elisha—to pray my mantle would pass from me to you and that He would give you a double portion. It’s still hard to write that down this many years later and not cry. Thinking of his love and genuineness is tough enough; thinking God would give me a double portion of that is truly hard to swallow. 

      We celebrated his 90th birthday this past year and made a huge fuss over him. He glowed the whole time. I’m not sure he could possibly have enjoyed the day more. Sadly, we lost him a few months later. He always told me not to cry when he was gone. He said, I’ll be where I’ve always longed to be. If any man understood what Paul wrote in Philippians 1:21-23, it was him. 

      For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I live on in the flesh, this will mean fruit from my labor; yet what I shall choose I cannot tell. For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better.

      He longed to be with his Lord. He knew death was just the beginning so, for him, it was a celebration of him going home.

      Preaching at his funeral was something I knew I had to do. It was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done, yet also one of the most rewarding. Being able to honor him was truly a privilege. 

      The last time I visited him in the hospital I thanked him for all he had taught me and for never giving up on me. I promised him I would spend the rest of my days honoring him and what he had instilled in me. So it is with that, that I dedicate this book to him.

      To close, I will share a quote of his we found in a journal he had written: 

      I have read that Will Rogers once said that he never met a man he didn’t like. I believe I can say this about all little ones and most others if they will let me. Many, I do not like their way of life or their attitudes, but I love all souls. Again, I believe this comes directly from God because He says we are created in His image. We must love those created like Him. There are many varied beliefs and theologies, but to me, one is above all else, and that is God’s love. The skies, stars, suns, moons, worlds, and all theologies will pass away, but this love, never.

      FOREWORD

      When Brian approached me about the idea of writing this book, I was so excited that someone would finally put into words what most, if not all, pastors have experienced at some point. It is strange that so many of us have these same feelings and struggles, and yet no one ever really warns us or prepares us for what to expect.

      As Brian’s twin brother who was also called into ministry, I have also experienced the highs and the lows of this calling. Both Brian and I are very much aware of both the great joys and great sorrows it can bring.

      I still remember like it was yesterday the excitement that I felt the day I received the phone call that I had been hired to become a youth pastor. I remember thinking that my life had finally begun. I was a landscaper at the time and life seemed to be stuck in first gear. Finally, at 22, surely I had arrived. Little did I know those feelings would pass too soon.

      Fast forward a few months and my life did not feel much different than it had before. Yes, I was doing what I knew the Lord had created me to do, but whatever I was expecting to change inside of me had not. I can remember staring at my computer screen for hours at absolutely nothing. I am embarrassed to say it now but at one point, for an entire year, I did not open my Bible a single time other than to find a Scripture. This ‘calling’ that I expected to somehow fill the holes inside of me did not, but left me feeling more hopeless than I ever had before.

      One night stands out to me in particular, and I think really sums up what being in full time ministry felt like to me. On one of our youth nights during worship, I was approached by one of my high school leaders. She informed me that one of our students wanted to give her life to Jesus right then and did not want to wait. I remember leading this young teenager to the Lord and seeing the joy in her eyes. As I was standing there, I felt the Holy Spirit whisper to me that my plans for the evening needed to change, and that my ‘life changing’ series would have to wait another week. Instead of finishing my series on who knows what, I stood in front of our group and shared the Gospel with them as you would with a small child. That night 26 teenagers made a commitment to follow Jesus for the first time. Wow, what an incredible miracle.

      Even as I type this, I am reminded of how blessed I was to be a part of that night. The greatest miracle that anyone could ever experience is salvation because of the love of the Father: to go from being His enemy to His child in a single moment. God had used me to facilitate their meeting.

      The joy of that night should have carried me for a long time but, sadly, it was short lived. As I continued to face new and different challenges for which I was unprepared both spiritually and emotionally, I began to feel more depressed and lost.

      I later learned that many pastors have unrealistic expectations of what ministry will look like. I know I did. And what would I have given for a book that spelled out for me, that prepared me for what would lie ahead? I can’t imagine how much different my life and ministry would have been.

      And in this book, Brian does just that. He shares many details of his own ministry, his own experiences, how he struggled, how the Lord carried him, how he grew closer to and finally sold out to Jesus with every part of his being.

      I also learned in later years that one thing and only one thing can fill the hole inside of us. It’s not altar calls, it’s not even salvation of many souls. As pastors, we have this idea in mind that we will finally be fulfilled once

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