Lesions
By Ronald T Ray
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Lesions - Ronald T Ray
LESIONS
Ronald T Ray
Isbn 978-1-312-80645-0
Copyright 2015 Ronald Ray
11/19/14
I was cold when I got out of the shower, and cranked the thermostat up to eighty. The theme from ‘The Little Rascals’ was playing on a loop in my head. I have no idea why… I haven’t seen that show in many years. A cup of coffee and a cigarette… almost five AM. Try to write, nothing forthcoming. Look up my name on the booksellers’ websites… Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Lulu… I forget where else. Why do I never receive any money from anyone but Lulu? Maybe I’ll look into it, but not now. Going to the Cancer Center later to find out what stage I’m in, whether anything can be done. I’m not hopeful. It’s this damned cancer that’s keeping me from writing. It’s pretty much all I can think about. It’s odd how we keep making plans for the future, even when there’s very likely not one. I remember the plans I had for visiting Cee the next day at the convalescent home. There was no next day. Get up and take some pain pills. ‘The Little Rascals’ is still playing.
Wayne
It’s beginning to look a lot like Wayne outside
Dry your eyes
Put them back
In their sockets
This basement smells like cheese
Self Portrait at Fifty-Seven
So far away from what I was; I'm a thin man, now. Long grey hair and beard, where I have hair. I finally have that sallow look I always wanted, feeling that my face was too big and wide.
If I'd known all the things I've learned in almost fifty-eight years, I'd have had a good life. Sadly, I was a slow learner; it's been hard.
At least I know who I am now, and I like the man.
I feel comfortable calling myself a man now. For many years, I didn't; I was a lost sheep, a black sheep who refused to follow, but never
knew where he was going; a revolutionary without a plan.
But that's behind me now. I've grown into the wrinkles on my skin. I know the world and its secrets, and know that I