Hey, Brown Girl
By Janay Harden
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About this ebook
17-year-old Raven Jamison, and her three best friends, Nia, Jasmine, and Trinity, make up "The Brown Girls Club." The girls spend long and carefree days in their bayou town of Lake Lacroix, nestled behind the big city of New Orleans.
A dinner time knock at the door abruptly changes everything.
When child protective services descend on their doorstep dropping off her younger cousin Carter, Raven is suddenly thrust into a brand new reality.
Generational ties that affected the entire family for decades soon resurface. Carter's presence rips at the Jamison household, and his aggressive and shocking behaviors may prove too much to handle for this seemingly picture perfect family. Raven, her family and friends must work together to overcome their shared pain and help Carter find his voice before it's too late.
Hey, Brown Girl is a compelling and thought-provoking young adult novel about struggle, forgiveness and hope. When this melanin rich family finds strength in their shared bonds, it's undeniable proof . . . love conquers all.
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Hey, Brown Girl - Janay Harden
CHAPTER ONE
raven
Raven stood against her bathroom wall. She held her hand to her head feeling warm and dizzy. Breathe, Raven, breathe, she thought. Calm your body . Raven felt a drop of sweat trickle down her left eyebrow, and she tasted the saliva collecting in the back of her throat. She tried to force the bile down, but it was too late, and it surged through her belly. Raven leaned over the toilet and dry heaved the contents of her stomach into the bowl.
It was the first day of eleventh grade and nervous was an understatement.
Are you okay?
her mom asked, half knocking before walking in. Her eyes were wide with concern.
I’m fine, Mom, I’m good,
she said, hoping her stomach would settle. She brushed her teeth and rinsed with mouth wash.
Raven’s mom continued staring at her. Baby girl. What’s this about?
Raven bustled back into her room, looking for the clothes she had picked out the night before. She paced in place before stopping to sit on her bed with a heavy thump. She was doing too much.
Raven examined her nails carefully, having already looked at them a million times since yesterday. They were bright yellow with one finger on each hand painted with a leopard design. Raven looked over at her mom, her eyes roaming her daughter’s body for answers.
Her mom moved from the armchair and plopped down on her bed. Raven’s mom wore her hair in wine-red sister locs, ripped jeans, and a t-shirt that said, Nothing For Us Without Us. Raven assumed her mom had an event at the art gallery where she worked. She always wore statement t-shirts when she did. Her mom was free-spirited, and a self-proclaimed feminist. She had golden-brown freckles peppered across her face and neck. She was slim and perfectly petite, which they all found funny because she refused to exercise. She claimed she was too busy to exercise, and her mom used to always say, women should only break a sweat doing one thing.
Gross.
The ladies in the family all had freckles, but Raven hated hers. She found herself many times searching her own face, studying the curves in her nose; her naturally long lashes, and unruly eyebrows.
What Black girl has freckles?
she would ask.
One the Sun and Ancestors themselves kissed,
Blair always replied.
Rayyyy!
Raven heard her voice before seeing her face. The front door slammed shut, and Nana ran up the stairs, and barged in.
Hello to you too, Nana!
Blair screamed back, passing each other in the hallway.
Hey baby, besos!
Nana said to Blair.
Raven rolled her eyes with anticipation and amusement. Nana had arrived in the building. Raven waited on the bed for Phoenix Harris. Her Nana. She half-knocked, half-walked into the room, and Raven chuckled. It was a family trait.
Nana was now in her fifties with skin smooth like honey. She cut her hair low and dyed it honey blonde and she slathered on shea butter like it was the fountain of youth.
Where you heading, Nana?
Raven asked, checking out her outfit. Nana had on a tight Adidas track suit from head to toe with matching sneakers, a sparkly fanny pack, and a sun visor.
Me and Johnny Gill got my yoga class this morning, girl,
Nana said.
Nana taught yoga at the Lacroix YMCA. John is Nana’s boyfriend, but she calls him Johnny Gill because Nana said when John first saw her, he rubbed his hands together and said, My, my, my,
or so the story goes. Raven thought this was hilarious. He was white and he seemed so straightlaced with his button-up shirts and loafers. He reminded her of someone stuffy, like an accountant or something.
I just came to say have a great first day, baby. Me and John are rooting for you. I lit some candles last night, and well, don’t worry about it,
she said, swatting Raven away. It’s handled.
Raven chuckled to herself. Nana was so crazy.
Besos,
she said to Raven, blowing kisses and shutting the door behind her.
Is Dad here?
Raven began dressing and shouted to her mom.
He already left for the morning, but he said check your phone before you go!
Blair screamed back.
Raven grabbed her phone and scrolled until she found a video from her dad. Her dad, Khalil, was dressed in his Lake Lacroix police uniform. He was one of the few Black officers in the city, and Raven worried about him often. Her dad was unproblematic and fun. He loved cars, dancing, and he made them stop for every old junker on the street he thought he could fix up.
Raven scrolled through the photos on her phone, and she hovered over a picture of her Aunt Cocina, her dad’s younger sister.
Khalil had told Raven the story many times. He grew up in Arizona as a kid, and Cocina was conceived in a kitchen, so she was named after one. Nana had been in her Mexican food phase back then. He seemed disgusted every time he told the story.
She enjoyed when Aunt Cocina came over. Cocina had this loud, raspy voice. She resembled Khalil except with lipstick and a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. Raven’s mom had quietly told Raven that Aunt Cocina was in foster care for a few years when Khalil was away in college. Cocina was on and off drugs as a teen, and things had been a struggle since then.
Raven always asked about Carter, Cocina’s son. He was eight, and they didn’t spend a lot of time with him since he and Cocina were always on the move. He stayed glued to his Xbox game and refused to eat with the family or do much of anything. Carter knew how to work every nerve Raven had, but still— he was her only cousin.
Raven snapped out of her thoughts and played her dad’s video. He was silly dancing to Beyoncé’s Brown Skin Girl.
Khalil was standing outside of Dunkin Donuts, singing in the parking lot. Raven grinned. Khalil’s voice cracked as he struggled to hit the notes. He feigned a cough.
Baby girl, I want you to have a strong first day, and I’ll see you at home. Make today count!
He sipped some water then cleared his throat.
Raven clicked her phone locked and examined her face in her bedroom mirror. She caught a glimpse of a picture of her friends. She had many photos, some with dog ears, halos, lips, and various filters the girls used. Raven beamed. Her girls: Nia Stewart, Jasmine Ericks, and Trinity Tyrell called themselves the Brown Girls Club. Raven wasn’t sure where the name came from, but it felt good to be a part of it. Raven searched for her Brown Girls Club jacket and laid it out. Blair bought all the girls matching jackets for Christmas two years ago. Blair was so proud of them and made sure the girls were celebrated and not overlooked.
Raven had stood in her bedroom closet the night before just a few hours ago, worrying about what clothes to wear. Blair suggested a few items, and soon they had an outfit. Throwing looks together came easily to Blair. Raven wore jean overalls with pink Airmax sneakers and a Be You
necklace. Her hair was big and curly, with different sized ringlets falling at her shoulders. Her hair always got bigger and bigger as the day went on until it covered her face, cheeks, and forehead. She liked it that way. Her hair sometimes covered her hideous braces invading her mouth. Raven looked at herself in the mirror one more time and ran her hands up and down her waist; she didn’t have hips. Not like her mom. Raven was straight as a board.
When she was in the fifth grade, the boys during recess used to scream ‘Here comes Bones!’ and fall out laughing. Nia had come from somewhere and pushed one of the boys onto a mound of dirt in Raven’s defense. It seemed like Nia had come into Raven’s life quickly, haphazardly. Although no words were spoken between the girls at that moment, Raven felt like Nia had taken her hand and told her that things would be okay—and they were okay. The day always stuck out in her mind. Her Brown Girls Club was all she needed.
Raven finished dressing and ran downstairs while Blair sat out a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast.
You look great, pretty girl. How do you feel?
I’m okay,
Raven’s voice cracked.
I have something for you,
Blair said, handing Raven a small box.
She opened the box, and there sat a pair of earrings in Raven’s favorite shade of amber yellow. The earrings had a picture of a sunflower, and under the sunflower in small words, it said: Even tucked away, I still bloom.
You make your reality, pretty girl. Now you go bloom. Keep that in mind when you feel anxious.
I love it, Mom!
Raven beamed. And she did. Her mom was always reading her mind with things like this. Raven finished her breakfast then walked to the bus stop.
Wait!
Blair yelled from the house and hustled toward Raven. I’ll walk with you.
Raven didn’t mind because her mom was good company. She looked around and patiently waited for Nia.
They all lived on The Hill. Nia lived at the end of the block with her mom, Ms. Tina, and younger brother, Bryce. They called Lake Lacroix, home; a bayou town nestled right next door to New Orleans. People were always trying to move away, but for Raven, it was perfect. The weather was always balmy, bouncing between seventy and eighty degrees, and large oak trees lined the streets to their shotgun style homes. The city was "Black Black" as Blair liked to call it. Blair attended the historically black college of Xavier University, where she was loud and proud of all things Black.
Raven spotted Nia running out of the house with Ms. Tina and Bryce. Ms. Tina always dressed up, and she made sure Nia was too.
Girl, what are you over there thinking about?!
Nia said, bouncing over to Raven’s side with her mom.
Nothing hush. . . Look at you. Okay, Nia!
The fashionista in Nia stayed with a bright color palette. Raven glanced her over. Raven preferred her own hair out and wild—she hated for her scalp to be smothered under braids. Nia’s hair was braided all the way down to her back with braids blue and some yellow. The color of their school’s mascot. Nia’s edges were laid, and she was wearing a blue and white tie-dyed short set. Her skin was a pretty shade of mocha, like Normani, and she could sing better than anyone in our school.
You better be you!
Blair exclaimed. Raven watched her mom eyeing Nia. She felt a twinge of jealousy as her mom complimented Nia. Raven recalled them sparring the night before about what Raven would wear for her first day. Nia was proud to stand out while Raven tried to stand out of the way.
If I can just get over my nerves, she thought, as she bit the inside of her cheek. Raven and Nia were on the Lake Lacroix dance team together, with Raven being the team captain. She got so shy when she knew people were watching and critiquing. It wasn’t the watching part that bothered her. No, that wasn’t it. Raven knew that she could dance—that wasn’t up for debate. But she didn’t like when people critiqued her moves and compared the girls next to each other. People were always searching for a top dog out of the group. The girls made sure they mostly shined together, but people had a way of ruining beautiful things, and sometimes teenagers could be the worst of them all.
The bus stop swelled with anxious students and their parents as the bus crept its way down the street. Hurry, girls. Stand together for a picture,
Ms. Tina said. Raven and Nia huddled together for their picture.
This one is for Facebook!
Ms. Tina declared as the girl rolled their eyes and waved their moms away.
two
The girls arrived at Lake Lacroix High School and shuffled inside. While Nia snapped selfies, Raven looked around for the other girls and saw Jasmine waiting in the corridor.
Jasmine stood taller than the rest of the group. She was high yellow as they would say, with high cheekbones. She was a dresser like Nia, but she preferred name brands. Jasmine played basketball but was the girliest player on the team, always keeping her hair and nails done. She had a sleek, long ponytail touching her mid-back. The ponytail swung as Jasmine moved about. Raven knew Jasmine carefully crafted that baby to her head, and she meant business as she palmed it over her shoulder and gave an alluring cat eye. Jasmine went to her cousin’s house for the summer in Florida, and Raven hadn’t seen her in person since tenth grade ended. Jasmine seemed even taller and wore the brightest smile.
Hey, Brown Girls!
she squealed to Raven and Nia. I have to tell you something.
Her eyes looked worried. Before Raven could ask questions, Trinity walked up.
Brown Girls!
Trinity screamed.
Ayyeeee!
the group yelled back. They were now complete!
Raven studied Trinity. She was wearing a Nike tracksuit, and her hair was pulled into a tight bun. Raven envied her hair because Trinity never had to do much but spray it with water and brush it down. She was a rich shade of brown and had the smoothest, clearest skin with perfectly arched eyebrows.
Raven glanced down at her overalls and touched her hair. She didn’t feel so dressed to impress anymore.
Nia squeezed Raven’s hand and whispered, I love your earrings.
Thank you,
Raven smiled. That’s why Nia was her bestie.
Did you guys check out your schedules? I didn’t see any classes together,
Trinity said.
That’s what I was going to say!
Jasmine flung her hands. They conferred in the hallway, examining their schedules with laser focus. Raven’s heart skipped a beat; they were right.
How can this be?
Jasmine’s voice was laced with frustration.
Raven had the same questions and wondered if her dad forgot to drop off her course selection sheet at the beginning of the summer.
Well, my mom’s boyfriend said he heard in the barbershop they had to revise all the classes this year,
Trinity said.
The girls groaned and looked again, hunting for any classes they had together. They found only a few. Raven’s stomach hurt again, and beads of sweat threatened to appear at her hairline.
Guys, we’ll be fine. We got this. Okay?
Nia urged. Nia was the yin to Raven’s worrying yang; she was always optimistic.
The bell sounded, and they rushed off in different directions for homeroom. Raven strolled down the hallway, hoping to settle herself before becoming more anxious. Blair told Raven she had to calm her body and guided her through a five-count coping technique for anxiety. Raven looked around for five things she could see: the walls, the oak trees outside, other students, her schedule in her hand, and Mrs. Young, Raven’s homeroom teacher. Raven glanced around for four things she could touch: her clothes, her hair, the lockers, and her book bag. Three things she could hear: the bell ringing, students laughing, and someone running down the steps behind her. Two things she could smell: her vanilla perfume and popcorn. Raven smelled popcorn. One thing she could taste. . . the gum in her mouth. She took a deep breath, determined not to let this ruin her day.
Walking into homeroom slightly late, Raven saw her archnemesis, Taylor French. Well, maybe archnemesis was intense, but honey, they just did not get along. She was on the dance team with Raven and Nia. Taylor was always trying to outdo them. Everything Raven had Taylor sought to undermine. Taylor was about Raven’s height and complexion with smooth honey-brown skin and long black hair. It always looked so perfect and put together. Raven sat down across the class from Taylor so she couldn’t see Raven roll her eyes. Raven looked over and noticed a new face in the classroom. A new boy and . . . my God. . . he was gorgeous. Raven gaped at him. She had never seen such deep brown skin; he looked like milk chocolate. His eyes pierced her