Half in Shadow: The Life and Legacy of Nellie Y. McKay
4.5/5
()
About this ebook
Shanna Greene Benjamin
Shanna Greene Benjamin is an independent scholar living in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Related to Half in Shadow
Related ebooks
From Bourgeois to Boojie: Black Middle-Class Performances Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThinking While Black: Translating the Politics and Popular Culture of a Rebel Generation Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBlackness Is Burning: Civil Rights, Popular Culture, and the Problem of Recognition Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBeing Black in the Ivory: Truth-Telling about Racism in Higher Education Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCan’t Stand Still: Taylor Gordon and the Harlem Renaissance Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThis Ain't Chicago: Race, Class, and Regional Identity in the Post-Soul South Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I Can't Wait to Call You My Wife: African American Letters of Love, Marriage, and Family in the Civil War Era Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Autobiography of an Ex-Colored Man Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOn Freedom and the Will to Adorn: The Art of the African American Essay Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRepresented: The Black Imagemakers Who Reimagined African American Citizenship Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWomen's Work: Nationalism and Contemporary African American Women's Novels Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHarambee City: The Congress of Racial Equality in Cleveland and the Rise of Black Power Populism Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsVénus Noire: Black Women and Colonial Fantasies in Nineteenth-Century France Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Eslanda: The Large and Unconventional Life of Mrs. Paul Robeson Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSouthscapes: Geographies of Race, Region, and Literature Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOn Racial Icons: Blackness and the Public Imagination Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Land Was Ours: How Black Beaches Became White Wealth in the Coastal South Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dorothy Dandridge: A Biography Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Down the Up Staircase: Three Generations of a Harlem Family Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Billboard Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBlack Joy Unbound: An Anthology Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Power to Die: Slavery and Suicide in British North America Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Collected Works of Ida B. Wells-Barnett: The Complete Works PergamonMedia Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsResisting Borders and Technologies of Violence Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Defender: How the Legendary Black Newspaper Changed America Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Future of Black Studies Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsJoy and Pain: A Story of Black Life and Liberation in Five Albums Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDreamer Nation: Immigration, Activism, and Neoliberalism Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDanceHall: From Slave Ship to Ghetto Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMacbeth in Harlem: Black Theater in America from the Beginning to Raisin in the Sun Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Cultural, Ethnic & Regional Biographies For You
Black Like Me: The Definitive Griffin Estate Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Men We Reaped: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Man of Two Faces: A Memoir, A History, A Memorial Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Stories We Tell: Every Piece of Your Story Matters Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Israel: A Simple Guide to the Most Misunderstood Country on Earth Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row (Oprah's Book Club Selection) Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Finding Me: An Oprah's Book Club Pick Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5We Had a Little Real Estate Problem: The Unheralded Story of Native Americans & Comedy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Happiest Man on Earth: The Beautiful Life of an Auschwitz Survivor Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Violinist of Auschwitz Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Punch Me Up To The Gods: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sex Cult Nun: Breaking Away from the Children of God, a Wild, Radical Religious Cult Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Trejo: My Life of Crime, Redemption, and Hollywood Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Short and Tragic Life of Robert Peace: A Brilliant Young Man Who Left Newark for the Ivy League Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5World of Wonders: In Praise of Fireflies, Whale Sharks, and Other Astonishments Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Heavy: An American Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Monster: The Autobiography of an L.A. Gang Member Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Cook County ICU: 30 Years of Unforgettable Patients and Odd Cases Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Up From Slavery: An Autobiography: A True Story Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Path Lit by Lightning: The Life of Jim Thorpe Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Distance Between Us: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Killing Crazy Horse: The Merciless Indian Wars in America Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Don't Let Them Bury My Story: The Oldest Living Survivor of the Tulsa Race Massacre In Her Own Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Somebody's Daughter: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for Half in Shadow
2 ratings1 review
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5If you are curious why a Black woman masqueraded as a single woman to be an attractive candidate for a professoriate, and how she navigated patriarchy, sexism, and racism to sustain a 30plus year in academics, read this book. Learning about Nellie McKay and the hurdles she overcame was thought-provoking and made me empathize in ways my conscious hadn't reached yet.
Book preview
Half in Shadow - Shanna Greene Benjamin
Half in Shadow
Half in Shadow
The Life and Legacy of Nellie Y. McKay
Shanna Greene Benjamin
The University of North Carolina Press CHAPEL HILL
This book was published with the assistance of the Greensboro Women’s Fund of the University of North Carolina Press.
Founding Contributors: Linda Arnold Carlisle, Sally Schindel Cone, Anne Faircloth, Bonnie McElveen Hunter, Linda Bullard Jennings, Janice J. Kerley (in honor of Margaret Supplee Smith), Nancy Rouzer May, and Betty Hughes Nichols.
© 2021 The University of North Carolina Press
All rights reserved
Set in Merope Basic by Westchester Publishing Services
Manufactured in the United States of America
The University of North Carolina Press has been a member of the Green Press Initiative since 2003.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Benjamin, Shanna Greene, author.
Title: Half in shadow : the life and legacy of Nellie Y. McKay / Shanna Greene Benjamin.
Description: Chapel Hill : University of North Carolina Press, 2021. | Includes bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2020042509 | ISBN 9781469661889 (cloth ; alk. paper) | ISBN 9781469662534 (pbk. ; alk. paper) | ISBN 9781469661896 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: McKay, Nellie Y. | African American women college Teachers—Biography. | African American women scholars—Biography. | Women’s studies—United States—History.
Classification: LCC LC2781.5 .B46 2021 | DDC 378.1/2092
[
B
]—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020042509
Cover illustration: Photo of Nellie Y. McKay (detail). Courtesy of University Wisconsin–Madison Archives, #2020s00029.
kitchenette building
by Gwendolyn Brooks reprinted by consent of Brooks Permissions.
For Edwin
Contents
Prologue
Introduction
Scene I|The Site of Memory
CHAPTER ONE
Strategies, Not Truths
Scene II|She May Very Well Have Invented Herself
CHAPTER TWO
Some Very Vital Missing Thing
Scene III|Rootedness
CHAPTER THREE
When and Where I Enter
Scene IV|Home
CHAPTER FOUR
Crepuscule with Nellie
Photographs
Acknowledgments
Notes
Bibliography
Index
Prologue
Growing up, summertime meant family reunions, when extended family scattered across the country, and sometimes around the globe, reconnected over card games in the hospitality suite, under a shade tree at the cookout, or across the table at the banquet. Through porch talk, laughter, games, and food, we ritualized our connection to family, those living and those deceased. Over time, our numbers grew. What began in the yard I raked became highly coordinated affairs with hotel stays and buffet dinners celebrating superlatives: the youngest and oldest in attendance, the person whox traveled the farthest. There were small variances in execution from year to year, but one thing remained consistent: the reading of the family history.
Cousin Johnny, an impressive man who stood over six feet and spoke in a rumbling bass, would read this history aloud, tracing the roots of our family tree as he lifted up the names of relatives long gone. By remembering our history, we claimed our inheritance, affirmed our interconnectedness, and highlighted our shared legacy. The family history began as little more than a paragraph or two sandwiched inside a simple cardstock program. Later, it swelled into an extended narrative, accompanied by a multi-page computer-generated diagram of our family tree, bound together as a booklet. As a child, I marveled at the expansiveness of our tree and lingered on the pages with my name. I followed genogram symbols—solid and dotted lines, triangles and circles—defining my place within my immediate family and among my extended relations. As I grew older, I became curious about the stories hidden behind the names or inside the lines delineating marriages and partnerships, siblings and cousins, deaths and births. How did my people come together? Why did they break apart? What did they endure? How did they triumph?
One afternoon, I acted upon my curiosity while visiting my paternal grandmother, Mary Elizabeth Griffin Greene. With college, graduate school, and jobs taking me from the South to the Midwest and back again, I visited Grandma Greene in the Oranges
whenever I happened to land near New Jersey. She and her sisters, Alberta and Pauline, lived together in separate apartments within the same senior living facility, a building that was the former site of the YMCA where their mother, who I called Nana, had worked as a domestic. As I got older, I grew more appreciative of their knowledge, their wit, and their outlook, and looked forward to the times when it was just us. My academic training had introduced me to broad narratives about Black women’s intellectual and social work, so as I listened to their stories, I grafted them onto a larger context and before long, saw how my academic training supplied new vocabularies to animate my personal history. Their stories fascinated me, and I looked forward to hearing multiple versions of the most colorful ones over and over again. I especially enjoyed one-on-one time with Grandma Greene because she never tired of telling me stories about my father when he was a boy. Then, one day, I decided to ask her about herself, instead of asking her about Daddy.
How did you and PopPop meet?
The question seemed simple enough. Grandma Greene was born in Chatham, Virginia, on 19 December 1922. When she was not quite ten, she moved with her parents and nine brothers and sisters to Orange, New Jersey—a town in the northern part of what is now known as the Garden State. In 1931, my great-grandfather William C. Griffin made the trek of nearly 500 miles north with his family in tow because he yearned for more opportunities than those afforded to him in the South. In Virginia, he worked as a carpenter. Moving to New Jersey, he hoped, would allow him to fulfill his dream of becoming an architect. This would never come to pass. Fed up with not being able to build the type of dwelling for his family that he was capable of building,
¹ William C. took on work as a janitor. He was still working as a janitor at the time of his death.
In her response to my query, Grandma recounted the days when James C. Greene, the man who would become my PopPop, came courting. Day after day he showed up like clockwork, and they would sit and visit together on the porch, talking for hours. After it became clear that his visits were becoming a habit, Nana pulled Grandma aside and presented her with an ultimatum. If she was serious about this here James C. and marriage was on the horizon, then she had a choice: learn to sew or learn to do hair. As I listened to Grandma’s story, my thoughts ran to Nanny, the grandmother in Zora Neale Hurston’s classic Their Eyes Were Watching God (1937), and the episode when Nanny forces the protagonist to marry someone she thinks is a sure thing after she sees that shiftless
Johnny Taylor lacerating her Janie with a kiss.
² In the novel, Nanny’s solution to Janie’s flowering womanhood, to the singing bees and creaming blossoms, was marriage and the security Nanny presumed it would afford. Perhaps Nana knew something similar when it came to my grandmother. If marriage was the likely outcome of all this time young Mary was spending with James C., then she would need a vocation. Doing hair and sewing clothes were respectable forms of employment for Black women because they did not involve cleaning white folks’ homes.
For a moment, Grandma stopped talking. But her story hadn’t ended.
But I wanted to be a math teacher.
Her response hovered in the air like smoke. Almost immediately, my mind raced. Was it a coincidence that my father had earned his bachelor’s degree in mathematics, which he parlayed into an over-thirty-year career in computer technology, systems engineering, and management? I knew enough of my family history to know that the lack of access my grandmother had to higher education was not entirely a question of money: my great-grandfather did well enough for himself, in spite of his limited vocational options. But only the boys earned college degrees. While my Aunt Georgia, who died before I formed a strong memory of her, attended college briefly, she never finished. What could Mary Elizabeth Griffin Greene have been if Nana had granted her the space to pursue her calling? Grandma became a hairdresser, a salon owner, and eventually skilled in switchboard operation, typing, and keypunch.³ She was a successful entrepreneur, had a loving family, and maintained an extensive network of friends with whom she played cards and attended church. But hairdressing wasn’t her dream. Her ambitions, thwarted. Her place in the genealogy, set. Grandma was wife to James C., mother to James L. and Charles E., grandmother to Shanna, Onaje, and James Jr. But this other part of her story—her yearning for a piece of life where she could cultivate her own abilities and pursue her own joys—was invisible to everyone except me.
Half in Shadow: The Life and Legacy of Nellie Y. McKay is a biography driven by interlocking personal and intellectual commitments. I make visible the hidden story of McKay, the literary scholar who made an indelible mark on the American academy by creating space for Black literature, Black scholars, and Black feminist thought. Simultaneously, I position myself as a link in the chain of Black women’s intellectualism. As I recount McKay’s beginnings, how she realized her vision of a life beyond the one prescribed for Black women in the first half of the twentieth century, I chart my inheritance through a matrilineal line in which the work of McKay and other Black feminist literary scholars becomes my intellectual birthright. McKay’s story is an account of field formation, how African American literature and Black women’s studies became codified within the academy. This is a story about McKay’s brave pursuit of her ambitions in the face of racism, sexism, class oppression, and age discrimination; it is also a statement of the inheritance I claim because of her sacrifice.
If my grandmother’s story planted the seed for this project, then it broke ground with a conversation. In 2009, I hosted my colleague and Mellon Mays comrade Gene Andrew Jarrett as the Connelly Lecturer in English at Grinnell College. The Connelly Lectures, named for the late Peter Connelly, who taught at Grinnell for over thirty years, feature accomplished literary scholars who are not only experts in their fields but also generous teachers and mentors. After two days of lectures and classroom visits, Jarrett and I met for lunch to reflect on his visit and catch up. We discussed McKay’s passing and the secrets revealed after her death. I told Jarrett what I knew: who was told and when, the daughter McKay introduced to colleagues as her sister, the life we knew nothing about, and my questions about her legacy.
You should write about that,
Jarrett offered.
My eyes widened. I shifted in my seat. Smiled a little, maybe.
The conversation continued. We finished our lunch, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Jarrett’s suggestion and how it raised questions about the writing of McKay’s story, my preparedness to undertake it, and the potential risks involved. How would I write a biography faithful to the nuances of her life when so many of the key players were still alive? What stories were McKay’s alone, and which stories, particularly those involving persons close to her, were for others to tell? How could I offer revelations about McKay’s life without exposing her peers unnecessarily? Then again, how could I not take advantage of the opportunity to speak directly to Black scholars who entered the professoriate in the 1970s and 1980s to better understand the climate of the times and how that climate impacted McKay’s choices? What would McKay’s story tell me about how there came to be a place for me—as a scholar of African American literature—in the English department at a small liberal arts college in the middle of Iowa? I found the prospect of writing McKay’s story both exciting and daunting but ultimately decided that my curiosities could not stop with that conversation.
I consulted my graduate advisers and learned that McKay’s daughter, Patricia Pat
Watson, would be key, so I wrote to ask if she would support my efforts to write her mother’s biography. I suppose I could have proceeded without her participation, but in truth, the thought never crossed my mind. I knew writing McKay’s life story would require that I tap an expansive archive, that I work within and beyond those institutional repositories that house the documents and ephemera that archivists deem valuable.
I knew that institutional archives, those contested sites of knowledge production, privilege certain materials to the exclusion of others, so to tell the story I wanted to tell, I would need access to resources that might never find their way into the archive’s acid-free folders and low-lignin boxes. I knew that when initiating contact with Watson, I needed to lead with a sensitivity that conveyed my seriousness. I mailed my letter then waited. A few weeks later, I received a card from Watson; I found, enclosed therein, an email thread. Watson explained that since she didn’t know me personally, she felt lacking "in the knowledge needed to make a good evaluation of
[my]
request, so she did
the only logical thing:
[she]
passed the ball to those who did have that knowledge."⁴ In the card, she included a copy of the string of e-mails
exchanged between her and McKay’s closest friends and colleagues in the professoriate, then concluded the correspondence by agreeing to support my efforts to write about her mother: I would be very happy,
Watson wrote, to give my consent and cooperation to your project.
⁵ With this, the work of learning about McKay’s life had officially begun.
Watson’s support resulted from the endorsement I received from literary scholars Susan Stanford Friedman and Thadious M. Davis, historian Nell Irvin Painter, and Black women’s studies scholar Stanlie M. James. I had already been in touch with Painter about gaining special access to her nearly thirty-year correspondence with McKay, and in the e-mail exchange with Watson, Painter confirmed my interest in going about this project in a scholarly way
and recognized that my affection for Nellie will ensure a careful, sensitive job.
⁶ Friedman concurred but noted that a project like this grows and grows.
⁷ It is this unwieldiness, and the shift between literary criticism and biography, that informs Davis’s response: I agree with Nell about Shanna’s being the kind of person and scholar to do a biography of Nellie, and I also agree with Susan that Shanna may want to consider that biography as a second book because writing biography is very time consuming and difficult to do—it is and it isn’t the same as most of our academic writing.
⁸ I was so floored by these early endorsements that I completely underestimated Davis’s admonition about how long biographies take and how they differ from more traditional forms of literary scholarship. My writing proceeded slowly. Then, with barely two years of preliminary research under my belt, I became a mother of two, and the conditions under which I found myself working completely changed.
My research proceeded in fits and starts. I worked while the babies slept. I kept a notebook handy for brainstorming. In my office, a picture of McKay reminded me of my responsibilities to my project. I chipped away at the research, and even though in some years progress felt slow, I know now that I had been absorbing and synthesizing the information all along, allowing what I had learned from interviews or in the archives to become a part of me. As I conducted research, I published articles where I reflected on the methodology behind Black women’s biography and taught my undergraduates the delicate business of writing Black women’s stories. Seeking Watson’s support, and witnessing how she consulted her mother’s community of friends, led me to write Intimacy and Ephemera: In Search of Our Mother’s Letters,
an essay that discusses how I initiated invisible trust-building work
to build the repository of primary sources I needed to narrate McKay’s story.⁹ My mentored advanced research with a team of students was the foundation of Black Women and the Biographical Method: Undergraduate Research and Life Writing,
an essay that explains how undergraduates can be trained to assist with research projects about women prone to secrecy.¹⁰ These projects bridged my interests in mentoring, pedagogy, and humanistic inquiry, to be sure, but they also inspired me to keep going with my research on McKay while I negotiated the competing demands of work and family life. There was a story I felt compelled to tell. Some projects you choose. This project chose me.
When I started McKay’s biography over ten years ago, I was in the early stages of figuring out how to commit to my work, give love to my children, and take care of myself. My research gave me a glimpse into some of the trade-offs McKay negotiated during her life, but when I became a parent, motherhood opened up an entirely new set of questions relative to the book. Specifically, how do Black women create conditions conducive to creative expression and negotiate trade-offs when pursuing a passion? What are the narratives we tell ourselves to keep going, and where do those stories come from? How frequently do we all engage in some form of self-fashioning in which we make and remake ourselves according to a vision that’s out of step with popular portrayals, caricature, or stereotype, and in what way is an academic persona a survival strategy for Black women? Understanding McKay’s path by way of the narrative she created to progress allowed me to better understand my personal story and place in the professoriate. Therefore, as much as this book is about McKay, it is also about me and the Black women who inherited a literary tradition reflective of a range of Black women’s subjectivities; the working women who burned the midnight oil in order to create; the grandmothers, aunts, and mothers who passed,
in one way or another, to circumvent oppression resulting from race, gender, age, or class bias. McKay spent her life creating space for others. This book creates space for her.
Half in Shadow
Introduction
We are things of dry hours and the involuntary plan,
Grayed in, and gray. Dream
makes a giddy sound, not strong
Like rent,
feeding a wife,
satisfying a man.
—GWENDOLYN BROOKS, kitchenette building
On 1 April 2006, friends and colleagues, students and guests, gathered in Morgridge Auditorium, a lecture hall nestled inside the University of Wisconsin–Madison’s School of Business, to memorialize Nellie Y. McKay, a preeminent scholar in the fields of Black literary and feminist studies. The cause was cancer,
reported the New York Times, and those in academic circles grieved the loss of another Black woman scholar who died prematurely, physically impacted by the toxicity of the academy, the stress of anti-racism work, and a range of diseases assaulting the lives of black women who are artists, teachers, activists, and scholars.
¹ At the time, it felt like an epidemic,² and McKay’s passing, on 22 January 2006, only added to the grief. In the span of a decade, from 1992 to 2002, Black feminist scholars, students, and Black studies practitioners had already lost figures, forces of nature actually, who laid the foundation for Black women’s studies with their writing, teaching, and activism: Audre Lorde (1992), Sylvia Ardyn Boone (1993), Toni Cade Bambara (1995), Sherley Anne Williams (1999), Barbara T. Christian (2000), June Jordan (2002), and Claudia Tate (2002). Most were dead by fifty-five. Often, the cause was cancer. Now, Nellie was gone. The symposium gave those impacted by McKay’s academic work and professional influence the opportunity to come together and remember a woman who shaped the lives of countless individuals through her scholarship, teaching, and mentoring.
Craig Werner, chair of the Department of Afro-American Studies and McKay’s longtime ally, oversaw symposium proceedings. As colleagues, Werner and McKay had advised students and collaborated on a variety of projects, many of them Ford-funded grants to fortify Black studies at UW-Madison. Outfitted in an oversize steel-gray blazer atop a pink-and-white striped shirt and black tie, instead of the baseball caps and hockey jerseys he regularly wore in casual contexts, Werner thanked the event sponsors, faculty, students, and support staff who made the event possible before moving deliberately, sometimes joyfully, at other times somberly, from guest to guest, speaker to speaker, as outlined in the symposium program. After opening remarks came a series of panels: From Margin to Center: Nellie McKay’s Scholarly Achievement,
Nellie McKay and the Art of Mentoring,
Nellie McKay and Black Women’s Studies.
In the audience, Lani Guinier, the first Black woman tenured professor of Harvard University’s law school, sat quietly; former UW-Madison chancellor Donna Shalala, who was unable to attend, sent regrets. Afterward there would be dinner at Baraka, an East African restaurant and a favorite of McKay’s. Guests who returned to the lecture hall after dinner would view the video montage Remembering Nellie McKay,
watch a dramatic reading from Lorraine Hansberry’s A Raisin in the Sun, and hear McKay’s friends, colleagues, and former students read literary passages in her honor. While skimming the program, I saw it. In the middle of the day’s events was a special presentation to Patricia M. Watson on behalf of congresswoman Tammy Baldwin, the former a woman many had met but none had ever really known.
For her entire career, McKay’s students, colleagues, and friends within the profession thought her students were her only children and her work her only lover. However, a man and woman, seated together toward the rear of the auditorium, but noticeably apart from the clusters of colleagues, the groupings of students, and the famous friends peppered throughout the audience, had always known better. The events of the day confirmed the speculation, the truth revealed only after her death, the secret McKay had hidden from even her closest friends in the academy. Not only had McKay once been married, but she was also ten years older than we knew and a mother of two: a son, Harry McKay, and a daughter, Patricia M. Watson or Pat,
whom McKay had always introduced and referred to as her sister. To me, she was Professor McKay. To her colleagues, she was Nellie. To the Madison community, she was Dr. Nellie. But to Pat, she was mother. To the seated young man, Nicholas Henry Watson, McKay was grandmother—his Nell.
By the start of the symposium, most had already heard the news of this family life hidden in McKay’s professional shadows. Many responded with good humor to the irony, laughing that their friend had pulled one last trick on them; others saw little humor in this postmortem revelation or were angry with McKay for her withholdings. Susan Stanford Friedman, McKay’s English Department friend and women’s studies comrade, used her time at the podium to imagine both the humor and the pathos in McKay’s concealments. In remarks titled Nellie’s Laughing,
Friedman named the deception and imagined the impetus: She fooled us all.… And for so long. Out of what necessity or compulsion? And with what devilish glee?
³ Friedman continued, assessing the other side of the coin: No, I don’t think her fooling us all—friends and acquaintances alike—was simply a matter of fun and rebellion. At times it must have tickled her fancy, at other times perhaps it left her feeling quite alone.
⁴
It was this loneliness that led Richard Ralston, McKay’s longtime UW-Madison colleague, to feel great sadness over McKay’s secret. Ralston had helped to recruit McKay to Madison’s Afro-American Studies Department in 1977 and was on hand to witness it all: McKay’s early adjustment, the tenure track tensions, struggles with the Jean Toomer manuscript, sadness over colleague Tom W. Shick, pride in a Black Norton, love of her students. But in the end, he found nothing funny about a woman who felt the need to live her life half in shadow.⁵ McKay was a master of narrative and was particularly adept at interpreting the narratives of Black women writers. The extent to which she had mastered her own narrative, dictating its contours, limiting our access to details, and managing the flow of information, only came to light after her death. I, too, wondered Why?
and returned to an interview I had conducted with McKay two years prior for clues.
In the October 2006 issue of PMLA, the journal of the Modern Language Association, I published Breaking the Whole Thing Open: An Interview with Nellie Y. McKay,
which documented McKay’s undergraduate work at Queens College, her graduate years at Harvard, and her professional life in Madison.
⁶ I met McKay in the spring of 1994 and became her graduate student in the fall of that same year. I was one of her daughters,
a group of five Black women graduate students who arrived one or two at a time in the early to mid-1990s, most of us earning master’s degrees in Afro-American studies at the University of Wisconsin–Madison but all of us earning PhDs in English, just as McKay had done at Harvard decades before. I conducted the interview during the summer of 2004 after feeling an intense and inexplicable pull to Madison, Wisconsin. Something similar had called me to South Carolina to sit at the knee of my maternal grandmother, Magnolia Means, years before. It turned out to be the last summer Grandma Means was alive. So, when I heard that same inside voice telling me to go talk to Nellie,
I knew better than to ignore it. I rerouted a flight and made my way to Madison. The summer of 2004 was the last summer McKay was well enough to sit and answer questions at length. At the time I conducted this interview, I envisioned it as the moment to document truths about McKay that were off limits to the general public. I felt as if the intimate conversations about her life were mine alone and that the published version of our interview would reveal something altogether new. Later, I learned that she had told of the early days so often that the carefully edited version she presented to me had come to sound complete, whole.
Breaking the Whole Thing Open,
an edited, published version of this interview, focused on McKay’s recollections of the formative years of Black literary studies. What remained on the cutting room floor, and which I reference throughout this book, are her first-hand accounts of childhood memories, recollections of my mother,
my parents,
my dad.
⁷ Later, I found a problem. McKay’s version of these events collided with truths found in my research. McKay narrated her childhood as idyllic, governed by memories of her mother’s love and care and her father’s encouragement. There is no mention of an early shocking and traumatic loss, only the inevitability of an academic career after being shaped by parents who were connoisseurs of Black literature, parents who would read the poetry of Paul Laurence Dunbar to her at night and who would bring home Langston Hughes’s Jesse B. Simple stories from the Post.⁸ The full interview illuminates the disconnect between McKay’s public narrative and what I call her secret, what certain colleagues call a lie, what Kevin Young calls storying,
⁹ and what a dear friend calls McKay’s business. McKay’s letters, personal reflections, and scholarship, then, provide the keys to understanding the meaning behind her machinations and a window into how she narrated an academic self as a Black woman.
McKay acknowledged how she wrote and rewrote her personal narrative to emphasize the elements that play on the public or serve a political purpose in a letter to her friend and colleague Nell Irvin Painter, the highly regarded scholar of African American history and the author, most recently, of The History of White People (2010) and Old in Art School (2018). In the letter cited here, McKay recalled a talk she had agreed to give but had forgotten to prepare (such slip-ups were not uncommon in McKay’s life, as she worked quite regularly to exhaustion).¹⁰ Note her reflection on how she rendered a romanticized and propagandistic
personal story to manipulate her white audience:
But flush with victory from my King Day talk, I decided to go the path of my own autobiography and to talk about how I got to be doing the work I do. So out came another romantic version of my growing up years and how the riots at Queens College in 1967 led to my decision to study American Literature (that’s absolutely true). Also true was the part of how important my folks thought education was and how all of their daughters lead successful lives (also true).
What I really did however, was to spin a tale that I consciously knew I was trying to weave to show that there were black people, still are, who are not from the slums and ghettoes, whose values are very middle class whether they have money or not, and who, to a large extent are just like white people.
It was all in the casting. The story was basically true but the emphasis pointed to something that was romantic and propagandistic. I found it very interesting.¹¹
Later in the letter, McKay—who was noticeably intrigued and, dare I say, tickled by her professional antics—wrote: "Autobiography is a construction (as we’ve known for sometime) and how one shapes it makes