Ebu Gogo

Chapter 1

Deep within a rainforest on the Indonesian island of Flores, two American college students, Martin and Amber, made their way in silence. It was hot and humid, and the jungle floor was dense with vegetation, making the going difficult. They were searching for creatures called ebu gogo, which neither of them actually believed existed.

Amber suddenly stopped. She leaned her back against the trunk of a tree, gave Martin a seductive look, and said, Just think. Here you are, out in the middle of a wild jungle, with no sign of civilization anywhere, all alone with four women. Well? Hasn’t it given you any ideas?

Martin was aware of how handsome he was, with his fit build, sturdy shoulders, and jutting jaw, but he had always been uncomfortable around the opposite sex. He was stricken with a debilitating shyness that made it impossible for him to communicate with women.

The blood rushed to Martin’s head and he began to breathe heavily. The big-breasted redhead was making him nervous the way she leaned against that tree, sticking her chest out at him, and he just wanted it to stop. He stammered a few times and finally mustered up the ability to say, Of course not. We are interns, and as colleagues and peers it is important that we maintain a level of professionalism towards each other.

That’s very mature of you, she said wryly as she removed her back from the tree.

Thank you, Martin said, hoping the beautiful redhead was finished with her flirting.

They walked in silence for some time more and then Amber said, What do you think of Linda?

He answered, Linda is a capable and competent cryptozoologist, and I feel that I am in good hands as a member of her expedition.

Well, yes, she replied cleverly, but do you think she is pretty?

Martin choked up. The fact was that he did think Linda was pretty. True, at thirty-eight she was eighteen years his senior, but she still had the glow of youth about her. But Martin was much too shy to admit this so he said, I haven’t really thought about it.

Martin wondered what his problem was. On the one hand, his heart was beating wildly and he wanted to grab Amber, throw her to the jungle floor, and climb on top of her, but on the other hand, he was paralyzed with fear. The worst part about it for Martin was that he wasn’t quite sure what, exactly, he was afraid of. Was it the sex act itself that scared him, or was he afraid of something buried deep within himself which being with a woman might unearth?

Martin hated the fight-or-flight mode women always put him in. His entire life, he had always chosen flight. But then he suddenly wondered what would happen if this time he chose fight? 

After all, Amber had been flirting with him, hadn’t she? Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say she was toying with him. She knew he was afraid of her, and was having fun at his expense. But then again, did her motive really matter? Her flirtation was an invitation to act, whether it was made in sincerity or jest.

But before Martin could act, before he could even make up his mind to act, from all around them came a high-pitched cry: Yeyeyeyeyeyeye!!! 

Martin, secretly grateful for the interruption, looked around in fright and said, What was that?

Amber, also frightened by the call, said, I don’t know!

But before they could move, a group of very short bipedal creatures ran out from the jungle on all sides and surrounded them. They held stone-tipped spears, ready to throw overhand at Martin and Amber as an Olympian throws a javelin.

The students looked at the bipeds in shock. All were female and under four feet in height. They were covered in orange fur, but otherwise naked except for decorative feathers and beads. They had chinless, primitive-looking faces with fat-lipped mouths, broad noses, and backwards sloping foreheads. But their most prominent feature was certainly their breasts, which were enormous and hung straight down past their hips, some hanging all the way to their knees.

Martin stammered, I... I don’t believe it! We’ve discovered the ebu gogo!

Another ebu gogo came out of the jungle, riding on the back of a five-foot-tall elephant. She was followed by many more ebu gogo on foot, carrying stone-tipped spears.

She rode her miniature elephant right up to Martin and Amber, and her enormous breasts hanging on both sides of the elephant swung back and forth with the motion of the beast like an extra pair of elephant ears. This ebu gogo was decorated more ornately than the rest, with many more colored feathers and beads. Sitting on the back of her elephant, she was slightly above eye level with Martin and Amber.

She said, Bahn. And when the two made no movement she repeated herself louder and more forcefully, Bahn!

Amber said to Martin, What does she want?

Martin said, I think she wants us to go with her.

Should we?

Martin did not know how to answer. They were surrounded by little creatures with spears, and he didn’t see any way they could escape.

The one on the elephant said, Doh tahr shaks.

At once six ebu gogo threw their spears, barely missing the two interns, so that their tips embedded in the ground with the shafts vibrating above at acute angles. The meaning was clear.

Martin said, I don’t think we have a choice. I mean, they are very small, but there are a lot of them. I wouldn’t want to be hit by one of those spears, let alone a whole bunch of them.

The one on the elephant said something and then the creatures surrounded Martin and Amber and prodded them with their spears. The two walked in the direction the ebu gogo wanted them to, as the ebu gogo continued to prod them along.

As they went, Martin made many observations about the ebu gogo. He noted that they raised their knees high with each step as they walked, so that when their feet were fully lifted off the ground their thighs made a right angle with their torsos.

Martin could not help but notice the sexual attributes of the ebu gogo. All were female, and despite their diminutive stature, all had nice, round hips and huge breasts that hung at least to their hips if not lower, that swung back and forth like pendulums as they walked. It was the first time in his life that he had ever looked at a living being the way a man is supposed to look at a woman. Even Amber wasn’t terribly attractive to him. He had only considered making a move on her because his pride had been hurt by her teasing. He wondered why he had never looked at a human woman the way he was looking at these nonhuman ones. Then it hit him. It was their fur that he found attractive.

But then he shook himself out of it. They were animals. How could he think that about them? He decided that it must have been a mistake on his part, that he hadn’t really meant what he thought, but that he was just in panic mode from the situation he was in and panic was causing his mind to do strange things.

The ebu gogo brought Martin and Amber to a cave. Having no other choice, they entered the cave with the creatures.

Chapter 2

Somewhere in Silver Lake, a hip and trendy neighborhood on the east side of Los Angeles, a taxi stopped in front of an open space on a street lined with Spanish palms. Lewis Dare jumped out: a tall, muscular man of sixty, dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and slacks. He ran up to a small house and knocked frantically on the door. It was the sunny, tranquil kind of day Los Angeles is known for.

The door opened. Clare, a slim, beautiful, nineteen-year-old natural blonde, blinked in the sun and smiled brightly on seeing Lewis standing in the doorway.

Dad! Oh my God! I thought you were in New York!

She gave her father a big hug. Lewis just stood there with his arms at his sides and said, Grab your toothbrush. We’re going to Indonesia. I’ll buy you clothes when we get there.

Clare, frowning, stepped back from her father and looked him straight in the eye.

I’m sorry, Dad, but I can’t keep uprooting myself like this. I mean, what? I’ll cancel all my auditions, dump my boyfriend, and then I’ll come back to LA in three months and have to start over again from scratch? No way. I’d be happy to spend the day with you in LA and show you the sights, but I am not going to Indonesia.

Lewis said, Come on. I don’t have time to argue. Clare, I just learned that Linda is in Indonesia, and if she discovers the ebu gogo before I do...

What? Mom’s stealing your work? That bitch. Hold on.

Clare ran off and returned a moment later talking into her phone. No, I won’t be able to go out with you next weekend either.

She held up her toothbrush with her free hand, smiled, and followed Lewis quickly across the street towards the waiting cab. Clare said calmly into the phone, Well, actually, we’re through, and hung up.

Lewis opened the door for her. As Clare climbed into the cab she gave her father a disapproving look and said, You see what you made me do Dad? Brandon could have been the one!

––––––––

Less than an hour later Lewis and Clare sat in the soft, Corinthian leather seats of Lewis’s private jet, the Dare to Discover, with papers spread out on folding trays in front of them. Outside a fuel truck slowly filled the tanks. Clare, who had been tapping away at her laptop, paused to sip from a sixteen-ounce energy drink through a red lipstick-stained straw.

Lewis watched his daughter, thoughtfully. At nineteen, she had the enthusiasm for life of those who have lived long enough to experience life’s joys, but not its miseries.

When Clare got excited about something, she became even more hyper and talked even more rapidly than usual. Also, energy drinks made her a bit speedy. She said, Okay, so most of the scientists on this list look like total jerks, but there is one, Michael Stern, who I think you can work with. Get this! Over twenty years ago he wrote a paper called ‘The Descendants of Pongo Abelii.’ In the paper he argues that Homo sapiens evolved from orangutans, as opposed to chimpanzees. 

Lewis smiled, almost impressed. But that’s absurd. Human beings evolved from chimpanzees. It’s an established fact. Humans and chimpanzees share ninety-nine percent of their DNA.

He accounts for that too. He writes that chimpanzees and humans share so much DNA because chimpanzees actually devolved from an isolated population of humans who reverted to apehood. The paper almost ruined his career, and he eventually had to recant it so he could get work.

Clare slid her laptop over to her father so he could read the article. With a single finger, as if he wanted to touch the article as little as possible, he slid the laptop back over to his daughter and said, I don’t need a fucking baby sitter.

No, Dad, listen to me. Do you remember last year when your book about the Lake Champlain monster came out? Everybody said, ‘Oh, he just made it up. He’s a billionaire so he must have given the publisher a lot of money and then they must have just taken the money and published the book without bothering to verify Lewis Dare’s findings.’

Yes. I remember. Those ignorant assholes. But then once they saw the giant scale I found they all shut up pretty fast.

Well, you can’t expect to get lucky twice in a row. If you bring a PhD along with you to verify your findings this time, the public will have to believe you. Look, I hate academia as much as you do. Those motherfuckers have ruined Western thought. But rules are rules. You need to bring a PhD and I’m telling you, this is your guy! 

Clare slid the laptop back over to Lewis and said, Read the article. You’ll dig it. It’s totally weird.

Lewis looked at the title page of the article with distaste and reluctantly began reading. About halfway through the article he looked up from the computer screen and exclaimed, Clare, this is fascinating! It’s brilliant. Damn the scientific community for rejecting this.

Just then the pilot’s voice came on through the intercom. Refueling is complete, sir. Where would you like to go next?