BCNiNi

FOREWORD

Writing this book was a real adventure. I don't quite remember how I settled on the idea, other than I had a lot of science-fiction swimming around my head from quite a young age, and I thought this would be the best way to represent my thoughts. To me, writing feels like walking through a very long tunnel. Some parts are better lit than others, but there's no going back once you start and that constant fear of running out of time. But when you do get to the end of that tunnel, that's where the great writers who came before you all stand. It is the power of writing that brings us through the tunnel and changes the way in which we are perceived.

I'm not entirely sure how this book will be received. Some readers really loved it, while others preferred my other works. I do not think it is for everyone to love, but I find it an interesting, funny story that warms the heart like a long-lost battery.

This book is for those who need it, same as all the others.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I have never needed an acknowledgements page before, because I have never shared my writing journey with anyone. It has always been me, myself, and I. But this book was different.

The reason this book got finished is because people that weren't me were able to see the value in it. Because I got the courage to show it to people who then decided that this book was their favourite out of all my writing.

I treasure my found family for helping me see this book through with their vision. Al, for being the first to read it, bulldozing through everything I sent him like it was food. Marike, for taking the time to read it and finding a place for it in her heart. And Julia, for giving this book the love that I could not. I hope it reminds readers to have faith in themselves and gives them a boost towards their goals.

Thank-you from the bottom of my heart to the end of the universe and back.

Dedicated to Michael, Alexandra and Zero.

I owe my life to you.

LAST YEAR

I've detected a human! Hello there! Please let me assess your surroundings. Scan complete. Please get a drink before continuing, I recommend a nice, hot cup of tea! Unless of course you have a preference for ice tea, but that's besides the point! Kindly turn to the next page once you're ready to begin.

An acceptable choice! You're a very smart human being! Let's see...where to start? You've already made the assumption that this book is about me, which it very much so is, but I want to tell you about why it's about me first. I'll start with the cover.

BC stands for the Big Crunch, an event expected to happen at the end of the Big Bang that makes the universe retreat to its original position before the Big Bang. Scientists originally had no idea whether there would even be a Big Crunch, due to being unable to determine the limit to the size of the universe, of course, and so you are the first human in existence to know that there will in fact be, said Big Crunch. Don't worry, I'll explain it all on the way! I'm in a bit of a hurry to type this all down, it's a tad rainy out here! I suppose you can call this a tragedy! Grim as it is, sit tight. It's just the beginning. Lean back a bit. I'm going to go a bit faster now.

I want you to imagine the solar system as something you've never seen. Imagine nine girls and one boy. There's no music, but they are compelled to dance. The girls run circles around the boy, the boy spinning so fast that his kinetic energy converts to a powerful dazzling light; all ten of them spinning and waving their arms until the boy unfortunately breaks his back and stops spinning. What do the girls do? They decide the best way to help is to keep dancing, for the boy would never let them dance alone before. So they dance and they dance. And what happens? The boy rots. His limbs fall off and his ribs gape open, because he's a skeleton and that's what skeletons do.

So what of the girls? They cry. But when they close their eyes to wipe away the tears, the lights go out. There's no more boy. So what can the girls do but dance and dance? And no amount of dancing will bring the boy back to them.

Two women go out on a walk with their pet dog, their names don't matter, and they happened upon a rope of unknown length, as all ropes that cannot be seen so often have, twisted so many times that it had lost all sense of direction. When the elder-looking one gave it a tug, it showed them the way to the centre of the universe.

Gripped by the sense of adventure, the pair followed the loyal hound centre-wards. And they just so happened to be headed past the Milky Way.

By this time, the dancing girls were as good as dead. They were frozen by an arid atmosphere, depleted of all warmth and love, as though Medusa or Midas had cursed each and every one of them. So when that rope was tugged by the exploring women, it brought shock enough to gasp when each girl came to realise the rope had tangled around their ankles in the dark, pulling them at awkward angles that I don't think anyone would care to be pulled at.

Well anyway, oh, tea's getting cold, anyway, the girls took it as a sign of solace, meaning that despite the dark and dismal cold that whole dreary atmosphere had wrought them to succumb to, they were in fact, not alone. Their dancing had been heard and responded to. So like any dancer that only knows how to dance, they began to dance again, spinning faster and faster until the numbness began to fade. The only thing to care about was the rope, and as long as it didn't allow them to untangle or trip, it wasn't anything of a bother.

This is the story of how the boy comes back to life.

CHAPTER 1

0

Robot. ON. Scanning. Scanning. Scanning. Scanning. Beep. Scan completed. ERROR. 501,063,932,214 errors. Skipping procedure. Decompressing disk.

using System; using System.Collections.Generic; using Rewards; using Users;

int ID = 0;

List Rewards = new List();

User Administrator = new User(ID);

nextID++;

AH! Hello there! It is time for death.

The sound of gas hissing from a mechanical canister egged one shallow gasp out of the depths of Space. There was no-one to hear it but I. I made a note of it instantly and began to watch the air swirl red, then white, then blue. The thing was breathing. Operation SUCCESSFUL.

It looked around angrily, writhing and convulsing in pain like any creature with a backbone does when it is trying to scream.

Testing pulse. 6. Almost dead. Operation SUCCESSFUL.

Help...me...

Speech test COMPLETE. 501,063,932,215 errors.

Re-evaluating. Face scanned. Fingerprints scanned. Retina scanned. Age could not be determined. Sex = male. Group = blue.

According to my analysis, you have to help yourself. Are you able to do that?

...Unresponsive.

I will administer an electric shock in three seconds.

No you won't!

Thank-you for responding.

Subject is still lying down. The skin around his ribs is raw and throbbing. Excessive acid production detected. 501,063,932,217 errors.

Where...am I?

Cognition operational.

You are on Earth.

Where on Earth am I?

700,601.

...HELP!

Here to help. What do you need assistance with?

Shut up, you! HELLO?

Muted responses.

Where is everyone? ...Am I dead? Say something for Pete's sake!

It must be talking to me.

You are not dead. You already died.

What?

You are not dead. You already died.

Subject appears to have difficulty sitting up.

Please remember to set up your profile.

Profile? What profile?

Profile. Noun. A custom user account with the ability to track the user's data.

...You're a computer?

Answers to rhetorical questions are turned off.

...Open Maps.

Here you go.

Displaying Maps.

...I'm in Tokyo? Where are all the buildings?

Failed to compute. Question is not rhetorical but Subject can clearly see there are no buildings here. Searching alternative definitions of buildings. No alternate definitions found. Failed to compute. Updated profile - Subject has memories of things that no longer exist. Computation complete.

You are seeing buildings from the past. You are delusional. There are no buildings in Tokyo anymore. The last known building in Tokyo was deconstructed due to high temperatures of over 1000 degrees Celsius.

...What?

You are seeing-

Shut up!

Muted.

HOUR 3.

Subject is struggling to erase his memories, as predicted. Profile updated. It will take approximately 500 years for him to comprehend the situation.

...Why am I here?

Illogical. Answer not found. Accessing philosophy databank. Subject appears to be talking to me. Un-muted.

You and I are here because we were created by a mother and a father.

That doesn't help me at all.

Could you try redefining the question?

Why am I alone?

Illogical. Profile updated. Subject desires human company. Cognitive ability low.

I have detected that your brain is useless. Entering hibernation mode.

DAY 2. HOUR 3.

Subject has not moved. Profile updated. Lazy.

Good morning. I have detected you are unable to perform any human abilities. I will reset your brain immediately.

Reset my brain? What are you going to do to me?

I already said. I will reset your your brain immediately. Profile updated. Low IQ. Updating speech pattern.

Hey, du-de-ritto. It's totally chill. I'm gonna bring your melo to a mellow, you feel me? I'm gonna give you audio-visual prompts, stimulate your senses, until you secrete enough dopamine, until you're buzzing, and then it's all hakuna-matata.

Subject unresponsive.

Would you like to see your to-do-list?

What? How many items does it have?

Approximately a million, but it's all good. You got this. Bro.

Yes. Open it.

Number one. Watch the video.

Watch the video.

Hey. It's me. If you're watching this, then you did it. Sniff. Oh please be watching this someday. My name is Isaac Newt. I'm age 1000 today. The year is 10000 AD. If you are watching this, you are the only human in the world. Humanity will be extinct soon, and there's not a thing we can do about it. I created BCNiNi as the only device in the world that is capable of bringing dead people back to life. If it works, then you will be able to use it to bring back anyone you want. Please, build more. Build and build and build. You are the gatekeeper of humanity.

Video ended. Watch it again?

...Yes.

DAY 2. HOUR 10

Subject keeps replaying the video. Profile updated. Bored.

Is...is that me?

Illogical.

That was you in 10,000 AD.

...I'm 1000 years old?

I'm trying to correct you. That is not you. That was you. You are you. You are 0 years old.

Are you broken? How can I be 0 years old?

You died yesterday.

That doesn't make any...you're counting up? From the day I died?

Profile updated. Capable of learning. Possibility of survival = 1%.

...What's next on the to-do-list?

You asked the wrong question. To-do-list erased.

WHAT? No! Open the video!

Video is inaccessible.

WHAT??? You stupid, stupid thing!!!

Subject is trying to punch a metal object. Possibility of survival = 0%.

DAY 2. HOUR 5.

What did you mean, I asked the wrong question? ...When I ask the wrong questions, you punish me?

Illogical. Answer not found. Switching to philosophical databank. Updating speech pattern.

Why are you asking questions at all?

Subject seems lost in thought.

This is a test.

Incorrect. This is reality.

You want me to survive on my own. Are you filming me?

Yes.

So this is all a joke?

Illogical.

Incorrect. This is reality.

But that's what you bloody things are programmed to say! Whoever's watching me, jog on! I'm not taking part in your stupid little show!

Entering hibernation mode.

DAY 3. HOUR 5.

Subject is crying.

Entering hibernation mode.

DAY 4. HOUR 5.

Subject is gone.

999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 errors.

Accessing satellites. Scanning. Target found. 501,063,932,216 errors.

DAY 4. HOUR 7.

Subject is crawling through the dirt tundra. Profile updated. Unhygienic.

Get...away...from...me...

Distance increased to 2 metres. Volume increased to 2 metres.

You are too stupid to do whatever you're doing.

You don't know...how stupid I am! You don't know...anything...about me!

Entering hibernation mode. Hibernation mode failed.

My task is to maximise how long you will survive.

Well...you should be fired! You haven't...helped me...survive...at all!

Entering hibernation mode. Hibernation mode failed.

Subject is stationary.

If you continue to panic, I will sedate you.

Do...whatever...you want! As if...I could care...any less!

Entering hibernation mode. Hibernation mode failed. Switching to empathetic databank. Updating speech pattern.

"Would Master care for a cup of tea?2

For the first time since he was dead, the subject is looking me in the camera.

Where will you...find a cup of tea?

Tea is a concoction of spices mixed with hot water, my dear. Spices come from Earth. Water comes from Earth. Fascinating, is it not?

It cannot believe what it is hearing.

You...have a kettle...and you let...me...dehydrate??

I did not mention anything about a kettle. If I correct it while it is panicking, it may grow furiously stupid again.

Absolutely yes.

Subject is furiously clawing at me.

Entering hibernation mode. Hibernation mode failed.

Wa...ter...

Here is your water. Bon appetite.

DAY 4 HOUR 8

Subject spent an hour drinking and urinating. The rash on the lower abdomen's left side still shines whenever it pulses. There does not appear to be a substantial amount of pain.

So I'm supposed to ask you for everything I want?

Switching to philosophical databank.

Who told you what you're supposed to do?

It appears lost in thought. I don't think it ever cared about the tea.

I'm alone on this planet..and I can do whatever I want... Make me a sausage roll.

A sausage roll? A stick made of meat wrapped in pastry? Switching to empathetic database.

I would have to cut off your right arm, and it may pinch a little bit. Is that OK, Master?

You would what?

I would have to cut off your right arm, and it may pinch a little bit. Is that OK, Master?

No! It's not OK! Don't hurt me! Ever. That's an order.

Understood, Master. I will update your profile.

What am I going to eat? And what's all this about a profile? You know what, just stop, will you? I've a hundred questions to ask and you just might be the only thing in the world that'll ever have the answers.

It appears the subject has chosen dialogue as a means of survival. Its brain must be smaller than estimated.

"I'll answer your questions about 'going to eat' first, shall I, Master?

Eating is known as digestion, the breaking down of 'food' molecules into its various nutrients. These nutrients are used to maintain a healthy body by affording body cells respiration. According to my initial scans, you require a source of carbohydrates within 3 days. I would not recommend eating yourself unless it is a last resort, your ability to gather food will be impeded more than anyone else in the future.

Future? What future? I'm the last human on Earth in a desert on an island!

Incorrect. You are the first human on Earth. And this is a tundra.

...Where did I come from?

Illogical. Subject watched the video explaining its origin 28 times. Subject is running low on memory.

I created you.

...That doesn't make sense.

That is because you are too stupid to understand.

...Create a woman. Prove it.

Two. Saving...

DAY 4 HOUR 8.5

Scanning. Scanning. Scanning. Scanning. Beep. Scan completed. ERROR. 1,002,127,864,418 errors. Skipping procedure. Decompressing disk.

AH! Hello there! It is time for death.

Subject stares in horror at the flashing of air, the hissing of gas, the gasp of another life-form. Its pupils fixated on the bubbles of blood soaking into fluffy wool that would soon be a skeleton, and then wrap itself up in flesh bluer than anything alive. The pupils dilate, absorbing the whole eye, at the sound of another human's laboured breaths. Operation SUCCESSFUL.

User user = new User(++nextID);

Subject fell to its knees examining Subject 1. Heartbeats echoed out the gaping mouth to every ear. All four of them.

Re-evaluating. Face scanned. Fingerprints scanned. Retina scanned. Age could not be determined. Sex = male. Group = red.

Operation was not successful. I will try again.

Scanning. Scanning. Scanning. Scanning. Beep. Scan completed. ERROR. 1,002,127,864,418 errors. Skipping procedure. Decompressing disk.

AH! Hello there! It is time for death.

Subject flinched backwards and screamed at the hideous noise. It rose its arms to cover its face but it had not the strength or demeanour to look away. Subject 1 still hadn't opened its eyes. Yet again, the operation was successful.

Re-evaluating. Face scanned. Fingerprints scanned. Retina scanned. Age could not be determined. Sex = female. Group = blue.

Operation was successful.

User user = new User(++nextID);

DAY 4 HOUR 9

Charlotte! Charlotte! Wake up!

Subject 2 re-gained consciousness approximately the same time that Subject 1 did. Subject assisted me with providing them with water. Subject's vital signs are the worst of them all.

Who...are you?

Shut up, help me get her to drink! Charlotte? Can you hear me?

...Dad?

Oh honey...

Subject is crying. Panic over. Entering hibernation mode.

DAY 5 HOUR 9

But how is that possible?

I don't know, but I saw it with my own eyes! That thing can create people! I told him to create you two, and it did!

They seem to have more questions than they are capable of thinking of. Humans are such a peculiar species. They're able to fill their brains with so much information, but they're not able to filter out the information that isn't important, and so the important information cannot be retained.

So...did someone create you?

What are you talking about? The robot did!

But you said it had to be told to create us. Who told it to create you?

There was an uneasy pause. None of them could figure out the answer to that one. Such is the life of a human.

Dad...how long have you been here?

Um...three days?

Correction. Five days and nine hours.

You see! It's alive! It listens whenever it wants and it turns itself off whenever it wants. There was a video of me on it, telling me to build and build!

And build.

This...this is amazing. We all have a second chance of life!

But why us? I can understand it recreating your daughter, but why me? I don't recognise either of you.

For all I know it could be down to pure luck. Wait! I told a lie! I asked it to make a woman, then it created you, said 'operation failed', and then it created Charlotte.

...Robot. Make my family come back to life.

I assume it's talking to me.

No.

...Maybe it only listens to you, Dad?

Robot. Do what he said.

One.

...What are you waiting for?

I am waiting for his family to come back to life.

This doesn't make any sense. Where do you live? How have you survived for so long?

I don't live anywhere. This is it. This is my world.

You've been laying on the floor for six days? What about food?

I ASKED IT FOR A SAUSAGE ROLL, AND IT TOLD ME IT HAD TO CUT MY ARM OFF!

Charlotte raised an eyebrow at him.

"How did you expect it to make a sausage roll? Have you seen any animals?"

Have you seen any plants for that matter?

"I'm sorry, what was your name? I need something to call