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Miracles Become Monsters
Miracles Become Monsters
Miracles Become Monsters
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Miracles Become Monsters

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“‘Send me your miracles and your monsters. Send me your plucked-out eyes and the pungent perfume of your spent loins. Hold me in the jaws of your slavering mouse…’ We look at the same words and see such different things, but within this collection we see the same intricate ideas Kirwan is known for, the same dark passion

LanguageEnglish
PublisherDebbie Lee
Release dateOct 5, 2018
ISBN9781760416218
Miracles Become Monsters

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    Book preview

    Miracles Become Monsters - Dominic Kirwan

    Miracles Become Monsters

    Miracles Become Monsters

    Dominic Kirwan

    Ginninderra Press

    Miracles Become Monsters

    ISBN 978 1 76041 621 8

    Copyright © text Dominic Kirwan 2018

    Cover painting: Zipper De Do Da, an original work by Dominic Kirwan


    All rights reserved. No part of this ebook may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the copyright holder. Requests for permission should be sent to the publisher at the address below.


    First published 2018 by

    Ginninderra Press

    PO Box 3461 Port Adelaide SA 5015

    www.ginninderrapress.com.au

    Contents

    Miracles

    Monsters

    A gargantuan thank you to my two favourite poets:

    Leonie Halstrom and Peter Gate. You are two of the most original writers I have ever had the pleasure to call friends. The boundless creativity and beautiful fearlessness of both of you, and the very original approaches you have to your poetry leave me gobsmacked and inspired every time we meet up.


    A special thank you to my friends Andrew Coote and Sally Harbison. You both read every line I write. Your honest feedback is tempered with kindness, vigorous intelligence and heart. You help me to be a better writer.


    Thank you to my wonderful sister Bridget Kirwan for her tireless creative assistance with the cover.

    So lock up your daughter

    Lock up your wife

    Lock up your back door

    And run for your life

    TNT – Bon Scott (1946–1980)


    I’ve got your picture, I've got your picture

    I’d like a million of them all round my cell

    I want a doctor to take your picture

    So I can look at you from inside as well

    No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women

    No fun, no sin, no you

    No wonder it’s dark

    The Vapors (1980)

    Miracles

    Steps


    The First Step

    Is to admit that you don’t have a problem

    Everyone else does


    The Second Step

    Is to wash your hands of everyone you love

    And send them to the gallows


    The Third Step

    Is to steal a Maserati

    And get the fuck out of town

    It doesn’t matter where you’re going

    Just drive


    The Fourth Step

    Is to hold up a bank

    And then burn all their money

    The system is corrupted

    And you’re here to save the day


    The Fifth Step

    Is to break into a brothel

    And free the natives

    Release them back into the wild

    Where they belong


    The Sixth Step

    Is to attend confession

    Admit to the first five steps

    And then strangle the priest

    With your favourite set of rosary beads

    Choke him like a Catholic cock

    Caught crowing

    Snuff out the light at the end of his tunnel

    For promising you

    Unattainable redemption


    The Seventh Step

    Is to drink yourself under the table

    And stay there

    Just so you’ll have somewhere nice to sleep

    In the morning

    When they close up the bar


    The Eighth Step

    Is to deliberately lose at poker

    And give a naïve gambler

    Some schmuck who has never won before

    The keys to your stolen car


    The Ninth Step

    Is to bind and gag a bookstore clerk

    And steal all of their Bibles

    You’ll need them to get into Heaven

    When everything goes wrong


    The Tenth Step

    Is to look yourself in the eye

    And try to recognise the stranger

    Threaten your reflection with violence

    If you have to

    Call the police

    Report your doppelganger

    Identity theft is a serious crime

    And you can always deal

    With the malfunctioning mirror

    Later


    The Eleventh Step

    Is to break up with yourself

    Admit it

    The relationship was going nowhere

    You should at least agree

    To see other people

    And then tightly close your eyes


    The Twelfth Step

    Is to hide


    If you’re reported missing

    People will come looking for you eventually

    It’s a sign of how much they care

    Make sure it’s somewhere dark but obvious

    You don’t want to die of neglect

    In the spotlight

    With a bottle in your hand


    You want to be lost

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