America's Funniest Memes: Coronavirus Edition
By Ed Mickolus
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About this ebook
Can we uninstall 2020 and install it again? This version has a virus.The Internet has been working overtime with humorous memes, tweets, Facebook postings, Pinterest collections, you name it during the pandemic crisis. This outpouring of gallows humor suggests that we're coping with our profound grief and overcoming our fears, and we're going to
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America's Funniest Memes - Ed Mickolus
America’s Funniest Memes: Coronavirus Edition
Compiled by Ed Mickolus
A picture containing shape Description automatically generatedAmerica’s Funniest Memes: Coronavirus Edition
By Ed Mickolus
Copyright © 2020 by Edward Mickolus
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by means electronic, photocopy or recording without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in brief quotations in written reviews.
First Edition July 2020
ISBN: 978-1-949173-04-8
Published in the United States by Wandering Woods Publishers
Book Design, Cover and Typesetting by Cynthia J. Kwitchoff (CJKCREATIVE.COM)
Dedication
To all of the first responders and essential workers who have put their lives on the line for all of us.
The Internet has been working overtime with humorous memes, tweets, Facebook postings, Pinterest collections, you name it during the pandemic crisis that as of this writing has killed 500,000 people, including 130,000 Americans. This outpouring of gallows humor suggests that we’re coping with our profound grief and overcoming our fears, and we’re going to eventually make it out of this, with our sense of humor, and self, intact. This book collects the best of funny, non-political memes from the COVID-19 era that translate well to verbal one-, two-, or several liners; there are hundreds of other sight gag memes that we’ll save for another book. Some of the entries have been edited for language, spelling, and other typos. A big thank you goes out my favorite meme-finders, Brad Bouma, Maureen Wildey, Carol LaMothe, Rae Marzocchi and Kay Woodford; ace graphics arts designer Cynthia Kwitchoff; my wife and Blessing, Susan Schjelderup, who is getting the two of us through these trying times; and the hundreds of gifted albeit anonymous wits who wrote these memes.
Ed Mickolus
June 30, 2020
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Coronavirus Diary
Coping: Some Good, Some Maybe Not the Best Coping Mechanisms
Hobby Eating
Hobby Drinking
Travel—Not!
Boredom
Our Pets Speak Out
Who Needs The Hunt for Red October When We’ve Got The Hunt for Toilet Paper?
Grooming
Homeschooling
Other Family Matters and Relationship Advice
Working From Home
Who Was That Masked Man (or Woman)?
The Reopening
Random Words of Wisdom
CHAPTER 1
Coronavirus Diary
Day 1 of quarantine: I’m going to take this as an opportunity to improve my health. Day Two: For personal reasons I am eating a lasagna in my shower.
Day 1 of Quarantine: Let’s bake cookies. Day 14 of Quarantine: I think I ate too many cookies. Day 28 of Quarantine: I am a cookie.
Day 2 of Quarantine: The cats are plotting to kill me.
Day 3 and I’m already tired of babysitting my mom’s grandkids.
Day 5 of social distancing: Had a conversation with a spider today. Seems nice. He’s a web designer.
Quarantine Day 6: Went to this restaurant called The Kitchen. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business. @mommajessiec
Eight days into our family lockdown and I’m starting to question whether the Donner party was even hungry.
Quarantine Day 15: I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
Day 17: I’ve finished Netflix.
Also Day 17: Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit! So proud of myself. It was a scarf. But still… Let’s be positive here!
Day 19: I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
Day 33: I’ve finished reading the Internet. Now what?
Day 40: Today I woke up, had a smoothie, and did an in-home workout. Translation: started drinking Margueritas at 10 a.m. and fell down the stairs.
There is a pandemic. We’re gonna be in a future history class. We’re gonna be remembered as the dumbest era of all time.
The longer this quarantine goes, the more I think Jack from The Shining actually held it together quite well.
Me: 2020 can’t get any worse. News Item: Archeological team uncovers 6,000 year old chest buried deep in the Mediterranean Sea.
I’m not adding this year to my age. I didn’t use it.
So far 2020 is like looking both ways before crossing the street and then getting hit by an airplane.
This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of Covid-19. I usually don’t go because I’m poor.
Aliens probably fly past the Earth and lock their doors.
The world is now