EMBRACING YOUR WICKED GOOD, GOD AWE-FULL LIFE: Rejoicing in Your Imperfection, Letting God Heal You, and Making Your Stumbles Part of the Dance

Praise

Roberta Bryer-King reminds us that God wants a passionate relationship with us. Too often, we focus on our faults, failings, and shortcoming as reasons why we delay or even push-back that relationship; we think we are not good enough to be loved by God. This book cuts through all of that and helps to focus on a life full of awe and wonder with a God who loves us far more than anything our failings can change.

—Kary Oberbrunner, author of Unhackable,

Day Job to Dream Job, and Elixir Project

In a world where so many are struggling with a great deal of fear, anxiety, worthlessness, and pain, along comes a much-needed and essential message of healing and hope. In Embracing Your Wicked Good, God Awe-Full Life, my friend, Roberta Bryer-King, gives us a practical roadmap on how to build a deep and genuine relationship with God that will give us the ultimate freedom from our struggles in this life. This is a must-read for everyone!

—Doug Fitzgerald, author of ONESHOT.ONELIFE.,

Best-Selling Author, Speaker, Life Coach & CEO

Roberta Bryer-King is a writer, not just an author. Her gift in communicating truth in story and prose is compelling. She delivers the most important lessons in life that will change your perspective forever: don’t let your imperfections keep you from loving and doing all God intended you to do. This book is a must-have addition to your library.

—Sally Betters, author of From Crisis to Compassion,

Speaker, Certified Life Coach

In Embracing Your Wicked Good, God Awe-Full Life, Roberta Bryer-King delivers a beautifully written and encouraging book to help people let go of their shame and unworthiness in the process of being healed with, through, and in the love of their Creator. She then goes on to inspire you through her journey to have the courage to dive deep into your relationship with the One who loves you beyond measure. Accept God’s invitation to dance with Him here in this life and all the way into eternity.

—Christina Semmens of Say Yes to Holiness; Speaker, Spiritual Mentor, and

author of Say Yes: Discovering Purpose, Peace

and Abundance in Daily Life

This book is thoroughly enjoyable! In the freedom of one entirely unselfconscious, Roberta communicates the things she teaches about God by sharing as many well-told stories of her encounters with Him. Evidence of her relationship with God is found on each page, inspiring the reader to desire prayer and a greater intimacy with Him as well.

—Father Rob Ketcham, petersboat.net

Embracing Your Wicked Good, God Awe-Full Life

Rejoicing in Your Imperfection, Letting God Heal You, and Making Your Stumbles Part of the Dance

Roberta Bryer-King

Embracing Your Wicked God, God Awe-Full Life © 2020

by Roberta Bryer-King. All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

Published by Author Academy Elite

PO Box 43, Powell, OH 43035

www.AuthorAcademyElite.com

All rights reserved. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without express written permission from the author.

Identifiers:

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020916532

ISBN: 978-1-64746-474-5 (paperback)

ISBN: 978-1-64746-475-2 (hardback)

ISBN: 978-1-64746-476-9 (ebook)

Available in paperback, hardback, e-book, and audiobook

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New

Revised Standard Version®, NRSV®. Copyright ©1989

Used by permission of The National Council of the Churches of Christ. All rights reserved worldwide. Bible verses italicized at author’s discretion.

Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers printed in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Author Academy Elite, nor does Author Academy Elite vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

To Those of Us Who Need the Courage to Dance

My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet.

—Mahatma Gandhi

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Part 1

Being Wicked Good—Rejoicing in Your Imperfection

Chapter 1: The Perfect Imperfect Role Model—Peter Rocks!

Chapter 2: The Great State of Imperfection—Smile! You Are a Mess (And It Is Okay)!

Chapter 3: Our Imperfect Friendship with God—If You Were God, Would You Unfriend Me?

Part 2

Being God Awe-Full—Letting God Heal You

Chapter 4: The Perfect Imperfect Friendship with God—Delivering a Very Different Type of Friend with Benefits

Chapter 5: His Love Will Change You—You Don’t Change You

Chapter 6: Shhhhh—God Is Talking to You—Can You Hear Him?

Part 3

Embracing the Art of Imperfection—Making Your Stumbles Part of the Dance

Chapter 7: Imperfecting Your Palette—Separating Out the Black from the Bright and Getting Rid of the Grey

Chapter 8: God, My Choreographer—The Everyday Dance with God (Stumbles and All)

Impact

Five Things You Can Do Right Now

Reflection Questions

Recommended Resources

About the Author

Acknowledgments

I have been incredibly blessed with extraordinary people who have been willing to be my companions on my life’s journey. I am lucky. These people have loved me through the worst of times (and the worst of me) and the best of times. This type of unconditional love is what life is all about, and I am so fortunate to have been the recipient of so much of this kind of infinite love, grace, mercy, and compassion.

I want to thank my husband, Jim, who has been my overflowing source of love, strength, and forgiveness throughout our years together. He has listened to me endlessly talk about writing a book. When I finally started the process, our lives turned ridiculously busy and chaotic. Thank you for helping me push through the madness of our day-to-day lives to complete the manuscript. My book would not be here without you. I will be forever grateful to you for your support in reaching this lifetime goal.

For my sons—Alexi, Nikita, and Misha—you are the lights of my life. I am so honored that God gave me the opportunity to be your mom. Believe it or not, your presence in my life has taught me more about the love of God than probably anything else. You are each amazing, and I am so excited to see how you will take this world by storm! I also want to thank you for the she-shed you built with your dad, so I would have a place to write in peace and quiet. What a beautiful place to create this book!

For my mom and dad, who always told me I could do anything and always, always, always had my back. I am so incredibly blessed to have you as my parents. Your support and unconditional love have been overwhelming. I am still working to be remotely as good of a parent to my kids as you have been to me. I thank God each and every day for you both.

For my sister, Cecilia, the best sister a girl could ever have. Throughout our lives, we have always known that we could count on each other. I derived so much strength from just knowing you would be there for me, Cel.

For my editor, Felicity Fox. Wow. Just wow. You have been my ultimate cheerleader through this whole process. Thanks for your insights, your boundless enthusiasm, and your endless patience. We did this!

And to the incredible friends I have met throughout the years. So many people have shown me God’s love and mercy—there are too many to count. I have always been amazed at how loving people can be. There are so many good people in this world.

Whether you know it or not, if you have been part of my life, even in a small way, you have shown me a different facet of God’s love and have been a crucial part of me writing this book.

Here it is! I love you all so very much!

Introduction

A green light on the dishwasher indicated the dishes ran through the wash cycle. Because the light was on, it appeared the dishes were washed. However, when I started to put them away, I noticed a weird hue on the glasses. It was a bluish/whitish light coating. I wondered if I had lost my mind or if I was seeing things? My middle-aged eyes led me astray before, like when I yelled, I love you! to a man standing far away whom I later discovered was not my husband. Hmmm, how weird. I tried to assure myself that I was not going crazy. I do not have OCD; however, I do notice details. Well, maybe I am semi-OCD, in denial, or perhaps I am simply hyper-observant. Maybe I am more Shawn Spencer from the TV show Psyche than Adrian Monk from Monk? But I digress. I told my boys to unload the dishwasher, and I let go of the fact there was a bizarre glaze on the dishes and went on with my day. All was going swimmingly.

Until later.

I went to grab a few cleaning supplies under the sink in the kitchen. When I opened the cabinet, I knew instantly what had happened—it was toilet bowl cleaner. The generic dishwashing liquid bottle I had purchased was almost identical to the toilet bowl cleaner bottle, which for reasons unbeknownst to me, had found its way underneath the kitchen sink. My sons helped me around the house, and apparently, they had put the toilet bowl cleaner under the sink and subsequently used it to clean our dishes in the dishwasher. This was yet another exciting moment in my life with my three Russian-adopted sons who are now typical teenagers. They often forget to really pay attention to what they are doing—that is, of course, unless it is plugged in or wears lipstick.

So, back to the dishes. Yuck. Seriously, super yuck! I felt like Lucy spazzing out after Snoopy kisses her on the lips.

I panicked and struggled to remember what was in the dishwasher and pulled the items from the cabinets: these three glasses, these plates, these utensils. I talked to myself as I darted back and forth across the kitchen, opening cupboards, and grabbing more items. The thought of this whole episode grossed me out. I wasn’t confident in my memory of what was all in the dishwasher, so in the end, I rewashed pretty much everything in the kitchen.

So, what do dishes washed in toilet bowl cleaner have to do with our relationship with God? A lot.

I recently realized my relationship with God seemed like a relationship, just like my dishes seemed as though they were washed at first glance. My relationship with God looked solid from the outside, but something was not quite right. I went to church, told people I loved God, tried to be a decent person (failing miserably many times), and even majored in theology in college. But the peace, joy, and freedom everyone talks about seemed to elude me. Quite honestly, when I spoke to more and more people, peace, joy, and freedom eluded them as well. We all proclaimed our faith made a huge difference in our lives. However, when we dove more deeply into the current state of our friendships with God and were completely honest, it became very apparent that something was off. A glaze of muck surrounded our relationships. What were we missing?

In the book, How God Changes Your Brain by Andrew Newberg, MD, and Mark Robert Waldman, they found some fascinating facts about those of us who believe in God:¹

In one of the surveys, only one percent of the respondents felt that they had a direct, personal encounter with God. Most people tended to describe God in an intellectual, abstract manner.

There was a study at Baylor University (co-facilitated with the Gallup organization) that found that Americans tend to look at God as one of four personalities: authoritarian, critical, distant, or benevolent. The results of this study showed that out of the group of believers, only 23% saw God as benevolent. 31% saw God as authoritarian (the highest), 16% as critical, and 24% as distant.²

So, I did not only imagine things. I was missing something, and so were a lot of other people. Less than a quarter of us see God as benevolent? Obviously, we were not in genuine relationships with our God because we cannot be in a life-giving relationship with a God who is authoritarian, critical, and/or distant. We somehow missed the Good News of the Gospel—unconditional love and forgiveness. It is almost as if many of us feel that our relationship with God is forced. We should have a relationship with Him, but we feel as though He causes us pain, is distant, or continuously judges us.

I know that, for me, there was shame and guilt about my imperfections and my failures. How could I not feel terrible about being one of the most impatient people on the planet? My sons definitely remind