Belonging
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About this ebook
Many people have read my ramblings, on the back of a coaster, on a napkin, in my diary, in note books and once there was the internet, on social media. All comments have been very similar; you should write a book! Well, now I have and it's up to me to back this one up with more. I'm only sorry that it took me so long to start the books rollin
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Book preview
Belonging - Michelle Frances White
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A Snake in the Box.
I worked up until I was due. The baby was overdue, so all was good. On my first day at home waiting for Tom to be born I was sitting on the patio watching my husband drive out of the driveway. He drove a white Mitsubishi Triton tray back. I sat for a while like a beached whale contemplating my navel and where it may have gone when the car came back up the driveway. ‘Oh’, I said to myself, 'Here is an opportunity to be a good little wifey. I will go and see what he may have forgotten.' So, I lifted myself out of the chair, no mean feat on its own and ambled my way down the steep incline that is directly in front of the patio leading to the driveway. Getting down was no problem. Did I mention that I was naked? Oh yes, clothes at nine months are too much of a hassle and we lived on twelve acres so it should have been pretty safe. Except that as I was waving wildly at my husband, I noticed that the car was a little different and the two men in the car seemed to have startled expressions on their faces! They saw a naked woman, nine months pregnant waving wildly at them and she oh so ungracefully descended the hill. This happened simultaneously of course. I panicked and tried to get back up the hill but, oh my God it was much steeper going up and I am afraid I had to almost get down on my hands and knees to crawl, giving them a not so inviting few of my behind. The more I tried to get up the hill the harder it became and anyway I was laughing so hard I was in stitches. I did not have time to see whether they were laughing as they did a 360 degree turn in the paddock and roared out as fast as they could leaving me a giggling mess halfway up the hill.
I later discovered that they were from Ergon Electricity Company and had come to read the metre box. Discovering a snake in it they decided to come up to the house. When we finally received the bill, it simply said that it had been averaged!
A Fractured Fairy Tale
I suppose you have heard the Goldilocks story,
Except the original tale is much more gory.
There was no Goldilocks with her hair from a mag,
Instead, there was a deranged grey haired old nag.
The bears were no quaint little family,
Oh no, they were bachelors who were much more manly.
Very good-natured, trusting, harmless, tidy, and hospitable,
It was lucky they were very forgivable.
For the nag was impudent, bad, foul-mouthed, ugly, dirty, and a vagrant,
While the bears house was clean with flowers more fragrant.
When she entered the house, (we call it break and enter),
She treated the place like a drop-in centre.
While the bears were out exercising at the gym,
The hag