My Sweet Black: An Unruly Hymn
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About this ebook
As the title suggests, this collection is a sweet journey into the celebration of personhood, with bold undertones and hard truths. In this captivating dedication and long-awaited offering, Holmes sheds light on the Black experience as he has known it—sparing no details or realness. Mirroring life, it can be especially heavy on the joy…and the struggle.
As we traverse this highly political time when the resurgence of harmful messages about the Black community has persisted, Holmes steps to the forefront with a timely message, declaring good news about his people. Many of the pieces were written to invoke memories and reflect the current day, including harsh realities of systemic abuse and oppression expressed in deep and honest prose.
Poignant and beautifully written, the magical mystery of Black culture is affirmed and invited throughout the collection. These words can serve as a marker for many future revolutionaries. Perhaps in reading this book, more people will be inspired to share their stories. Perhaps we can continue to heal. Perhaps.
But one thing is certain: the reframing of Black truths and Black experiences are a worthy undertaking—valid and warranted. As that is so, "My Sweet Black" was prepared to reach into the Black culture and beyond. Loud, raspy. Sweet, undoing. My Sweet Black, an Unruly Hymn.
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My Sweet Black - T.S. Holmes III
Preface
I remember when Philando was murdered. I didn’t leave my room for days. At the weeks end, I decided to go to a church service. I thought for sure that I’d find understanding and comfort there. I arrived in the thick of a pre-service prayer. The microphone was open to the lay members. A White man proceeded to pray, And Lord, with all this craziness that’s going on, help them to remember that at the end of the day, it’s not about race because you don’t see color. We all bleed red.
All that this ailing Black man heard was a plea for the angry Black folks to stop whining. It was delivered in the same what more do you want
attitude I had grown accustomed to when dealing with many other White male leaders be it in the workplace, schoolhouse, or anywhere- a blatant dismal.
I quickly turned around and started for the door. My stomach was turning as he worked to purge the sanctuary of my God-given rightfulness to stand there in my Blackness. I was undone with disgust at the subtle call for cultural assimilation. I was mortified as I glanced back at my own acquiescence from those past several years. I was smiley, subdued, agreeable and always trying to prove that I was worthy to all my White counterparts, seeking their approval.
When I allowed myself to break and be angry, pissed-off, sad, and grief-stricken, I found a well. It was overflowing with so much goodness. There was a newfound centeredness and a natural affinity to the sacred bond to my people. I realized I loved being Black and perhaps I’d had a subconscious fear of being rejected or harmed. And now, I never wanted to take it for granted. Others could and would take it for granted, but I must not. And so be it, I would not-ever again. My eyes were opened.
I began keeping a collection of songs and essays and poems that became a safe place for me to celebrate and honor my Blackness. All the pain and mystery. All of the magic and wisdom. The richness. The power. The sweet-a syrupy sweet. The poignancy. The fury. The struggle and innovation. And so here we are, my first book of poetry with nothing but my Blackness to give and it is more than enough.
I have found that whenever I’ve lifted my voice for the sake of freedom, justice, or celebration, I have been written off as a threat. Whenever someone speaks of Black people as having wealth, intelligence, or love, it almost always becomes an impossible equation of a confrontation. Many people are not well with Black people and the affluence we carry. Some have even groomed, within their generations, the idea that Black people are built for blows and hardship and that we are eventually disposable. Some cannot believe that we are actual people-perhaps a subconscious knowing on their part, a fear that our worthiness might invalidate theirs. It becomes too big of an allowance in a colonialist society. Our very humanity then, becomes something to be feared and conquered all over again in brutish and unimaginable ways.
Unruly, the way we thrive in the sun. Unruly, the way we build and invent. The way we defend and protect! Unruly, the way we love, seek and appeal to Creator. Unruly, our rhythm and song. Unruly, this hair that stands tall- curls, strong. Fearless and flaring, these noses spread wide. We are undesired, but we are a self-loving people.
In the spirit of all my ancestors who now guide me in my personal rebellion, I offer up this first collection. An ode to us. A great juba! A prayer. A wail. A banner. A cloak for all the Black people who are constantly dismissed in apparent and unspoken places. My Sweet Black.
An Unruly Hymn
I light this fire
An untamed torch
In the spirit of all my ancestors
In a bold display of fragrant melody, I bury the dirge with a hymn
A song for them who were burned and beat
I