Denial: A Novel
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About this ebook
From the former Chief Justice of Canada and #1 bestselling author of Full Disclosure comes a taut new thriller starring tough-as-nails defense attorney Jilly Truitt in a murder case that makes her question her own truths.
When everyone is in denial, how do you find the truth?
Jilly Truitt has made a name for herself as one of the top criminal defense lawyers in the city. Where once she had to take just about any case to keep her firm afloat, now she has her pick—and she picks winners.
So when Joseph Quentin asks her to defend his wife, who has been charged with murdering her own mother in what the media are calling a mercy killing, every instinct tells Jilly to say no. Word on the street is that Vera Quentin is in denial, refusing to admit to the crime and take a lenient plea deal. Quentin is a lawyer’s lawyer, known as the Fixer in legal circles, and if he can’t help his wife, who can?
Against her better judgment, Jilly meets with Vera and reluctantly agrees to take on her case. Call it intuition, call it sympathy, but something about Vera makes Jilly believe she’s telling the truth. Now, she has to prove that in the courtroom against her former mentor turned opponent, prosecutor Cy Kenge—a man who has no qualms about bending the rules.
As the trial approaches, Jilly scrambles to find a crack in the case and stumbles across a dark truth hanging over the Quentin family. But is it enough to prove Vera’s innocence? Or is Jilly in denial herself?
Thrumming with tension, Denial is a riveting thriller about the lengths we will go to for the ones we love and the truths we hold dear.
Beverley McLachlin
Beverley McLachlin is the #1 bestselling author of two novels, Full Disclosure and Denial, and a memoir, Truth Be Told, which won the prestigious Writers’ Trust Shaughnessy Cohen Prize for Political Writing and the Ottawa Book Award for Nonfiction. From 2000 to 2017, McLachlin was Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Canada. She is the first woman to hold that position and the longest-serving Chief Justice in Canadian history. In 2018, McLachlin became a Companion of the Order of Canada, the highest honour within the Order. Visit her at BeverleyMcLachlin.com.
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Reviews for Denial
14 ratings6 reviews
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I enjoyed this book better than the first in the series. I found the characters had more depth, and the plot was more intricate. There were twists near the end that I wasn't expecting! It is clear that the author, a former Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, knows the law well and both the court room scenes and the workings of the defense team were so authentic. The case related to a woman who wanted medical assistance in dying but did not qualify under existing legislation, so it was topical.My only issue is that there were too many references to the first novel, which I read a long time ago. I don't remember some of the actions referred to. In the end, I don't think this mattered to the story, but it was annoying.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Jilly Truit has become known as a very good criminal lawyer who frequently is sought for high profile cases. When Joseph Quentin asks her to defend his wife Vera who has been charged with murder, she feels she should decline the request because she has heard that Vera is in denial and all the evidence clearly indicates she did it. As Joseph is known as "The Fixer" in legal circles and if he can't help his wife, who will be able to?The prosecutor is Cy Kenge who Jilly has tangled with before and she has discovered is willingly to bend the rules to win. While this case is taking much of her time, she becomes involved in helping an immigrant girl who is being used by in a prostitution ring that catered to supply young women to wealthy men. This led to danger for Jilly.Much of the book takes place in the courtroom but moves a very exciting pace with some surprises along the way. You may need to record the many characters who make up the novel just to keep track who is who.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I am very grateful to a reader friend that I met via the 2021 LibraryThing Christmas card exchange for suggesting that I might enjoy books by Beverley MacLachlin. I missed the advisement that "Full Disclosure" was the 1st title written but I'll be reading that in the very near future! I enjoyed "Denial" as a stand-alone but when possible I like to read books in a series in order. It wasn't mentioned this was a series in the note received or at time of purchase so I didn't realize that both titles are about the character Jilly Truitt, criminal defense attorney.Beverley McLachlin was the Chief Justice of Canada from 2000 to 2017. She is the 1st woman to hold that position and the longest-serving Chief Justice in Canadian history. In 2018, her 1st legal thriller was published and "Denial" is a riveting 2nd novel.The writing is excellent, the story compelling, the characters and dialogue realistic. The author is clearly familiar with both sides of the law, prosecution and defense, witness statements and testimony at trial, and the crucial weight of evidence (burden of proof, admissibility, relevance, weight and sufficiency) of what can be admitted into the record of a legal proceeding.Early on I had a suspect and immediately knew when the set up occurred of a different suspect. But even though my sleuthing opinion didn't falter I could not find the clue(s) to motive. I thought my suspect's alibi was weak but understandably accepted by law enforcement. The suspense kept building through the investigation and trial and I couldn't wait for the verdict. I was absolutely blown away by the twists. What a wild roller coaster ride! WoW!Best legal thriller I've read in a long time!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A sequel to the first Jilly Truit murder mystery Full disclosure by Beverly McLaughlin. This time she is asked to defend Vera Quentin for killing her elderly mother with an injection of morphine to end her suffering from bladder cancer. Since her death is not imminent, the rules of MAID Medical Assistance in Dying do not apply. It’s a good story with a parallel involvement into human trafficking. This is a stand alone tale so one does need to have read the first novel. A twist in the plot at the end is a big surprise.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Before writing a review of Denial it’s important to inform that the author, Beverley McLachlin, served as the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Canada from 2000 to 2017. She is the longest serving Chief Justice as well as being the first woman in that position. Because legal thrillers are one of my favorite genres, I was delighted that McLachlin has turned to writing legal fiction in her retirement. This is the second instalment in the Jilly Truitt series but it reads well as a stand-alone. Truitt is a successful criminal defense lawyer who can pick and choose her clients. When asked to defend Vera Quentin, the wife of a legal acquaintance, she is hesitant. She is accused of murdering her mother who had been battling cancer for a long time. The press have called it a mercy killing but Vera maintains her innocence. The courtroom scenes are at the heart of this novel and the author’s career surely gives them authenticity. The characters are varied and the reader will sometimes have difficulty telling the good from the bad. Just a note to point out that there is an interesting interview with John Grisham and Beverley McLachlin at the back of the book. Denial is highly recommended. Thank you to Simon & Schuster Canada, NetGalley and the author for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I received a copy of this novel from the publisher via NetGalley.I found this hard to put down and the courtroom scenes were excellent. On the other hand the references to Jilly's past were irrelevant to the story and distracting, and even Mike's reintroduction was more of a plot device than real background character development. The writing is 'workmanlike', which is fine for a plot-driven story like this one, and I enjoy the Vancouver setting. The ending was a bit much for me: I prefer justice to be done and to be seen to have been done.
Book preview
Denial - Beverley McLachlin
CHAPTER 1
"ALL I ASK IS THAT you talk to my wife. I’ve done everything I can to help her. This is my last attempt. If it works, it works. If not—"
Joseph Quentin and I are sitting in the late August sun on the marina-side patio of Cardero’s Restaurant. Sustainable seafood, the menu boasts. As if, I think. Half a lifetime in the law has made me a skeptic of no-harm claims, but this is where Quentin suggested we meet for lunch. Having worked his way through his crab salad, he’s moved on to what’s on his mind. I lean back and wait.
I’ve run out of options, Ms. Truitt,
he says, fingering the stem of his glass of red wine.
I know where this conversation is headed. His wife has been charged with murdering her elderly mother by administering a lethal dose of morphine. A mercy killing, the papers say, but the law is the law and killing is killing. She doesn’t need a visit. She needs a criminal defence lawyer. Quentin has decided that person is me. What I don’t know is why.
The Fixer,
I say.
The what?
I raise my Perrier toward him. The Fixer.
Joseph Quentin earned his reputation as unofficial leader of the bar the honest way, taking hard cases and winning them. But these days he holds court in his forty-first-floor suite, fixing the messes the rich and powerful get themselves into.
That’s what they call you, Mr. Quentin. But you must know. You’re the lawyers’ lawyer, the one to call when we’re in trouble. Betrayed a confidence, dipped into your trust account, got caught drunk driving? Call Quentin. He’ll make it like it never happened. And you tell me you’ve run out of options?
I study him while he considers his response. His long face is an odd assortment of uneven features—high cheekbones, bony nose, pointed chin—none of which are individually handsome, but which together make for an arresting ensemble. A face to trust.
Perhaps you don’t understand,
he says, his jaw tight. "This is not about saving some fool who got mixed up with the local mafia or touched his secretary the wrong way. This is about me, about my wife, about my family. Vera’s trial has already been adjourned twice, and the judge says hell or high water, lawyer or no lawyer, it’s going ahead on September twenty-seventh. Three weeks from now, Ms. Truitt, three weeks."
And five days,
I start to say, but he doesn’t hear.
To make matters worse, the case has become a cause célèbre—half the people say lock her up and throw away the key, and the other half say she should never have been charged. More than two years have passed since Vera’s mother died. We’re up against the Supreme Court’s delay deadline. The press will howl if the case is adjourned again, scream if it gets into stay of proceedings territory.
His palm comes down on the table in a soft thud and the couple at a nearby table look over. He lowers his voice. This trial is going to happen and my wife has no lawyer. Tell me, Ms. Truitt, how do I fix that?
Evidently, you’ve settled on the answer, Mr. Quentin—you fix it by persuading me to take the case.
Yes, exactly.
I feel a modicum of pity for him. The media have made a big deal of the fact that Olivia Stanton was suffering from incurable cancer, but that doesn’t allow children to off their mothers. The law—medical assistance in dying—is clear: conditions must be met and procedures followed. Using MAID to end your life raises eyebrows; killing in contravention of MAID provokes outrage. No one thinks Joseph did the deed. Clearly it was his overwhelmed wife, whose struggles with depression and anxiety have since become public knowledge. But that he let it come to this—a murder trial—fits ill with his reputation among the elite of the elite.
I’m sorry, but I’m booked solid for the next month. And even if I weren’t, what makes you think I would take this case, when two other perfectly good lawyers have quit?
Your sense of professional obligation, Ms. Truitt.
Surely you can do better than that,
I say.
Alright. I’ll be frank. You haven’t exactly shied from controversial cases in the past. You’ve built a reputation on them.
He fixes me with pale grey eyes. Please, Ms. Truitt. Vera needs a lawyer.
She’ll have a lawyer. The judge will appoint one, if it comes to that.
Some child from legal aid. Never.
He leans across the table. "You call me The Fixer—what a joke. I couldn’t stop the police from charging Vera. I couldn’t stop the prosecutor from pushing this on to trial. And when I arranged a deal that would have gotten Vera out of jail in less than a year, I couldn’t persuade her to accept it: I will never say I killed my mother. I’d rather do ten years in jail. He takes a gulp of his wine.
I’ve spent my life fixing other peoples’ problems. But when it comes to my own, I can’t fix anything. So I’ve decided I will do the right thing: find a good lawyer to help my wife through this ordeal."
I’m not a babysitter, Mr. Quentin.
No, no. I put that badly. I wish I had come to you first. Your reputation—shall we just say you are among the best criminal lawyers in this city. I’m asking you to take the case because I believe you will succeed where others have failed.
Flattery, nice, but this time it’s not going to work. This isn’t the first high-profile case Quentin has brought me. Last time things didn’t end so well. I lost, and Vincent Trussardi was sentenced to life behind bars. Sure, I got the conviction overturned, and Vincent is now free, but the case left a bitter burn that sears my throat when I’m reminded of it.
I made a few inquiries after you called this morning. Your wife killed her mother. Word on the street is that she has no defence. And that she’s difficult—so difficult that two respected criminal lawyers have quit. Why should I be the third?
I press on before he can answer. "Now, let me be frank. I used to take losers when I had no choice. But these days I like to win. This case is not a winner. In fact, from what I hear, this case is hopeless."
I know that. She needs to accept the plea deal. She didn’t listen to Barney or Slaight. Perhaps she will listen to you.
Because I’m a woman? Sorry to inform you, the world no longer works that way. If it ever did.
He’s staring over the harbour again. We’ve been married almost a quarter century, Vera and I. It’s not a perfect marriage. We’ve had our ups and downs. She’s had her… issues, although she’s better now. We’ve come so far together—I can’t walk away. If I can’t fix this situation, I want it to end with dignity, with someone strong at her side.
I look at him with new appreciation. I don’t know much about it, but I recognize it when I see it—that rare thing called commitment. This isn’t just about him—it’s about the fact that once, long ago, he pledged to care for Vera for as long they should live. He took her on, for better or worse, and he will stay with her to the end. Not easy. I think of Michael St. John. Mike and I were best friends, then more; we had saved each other from dark places since meeting in law school years ago—but still I couldn’t commit. I feel a twinge of something in my belly.
I sigh. Very well, Mr. Quentin, I will see your wife. No promises. But I’ll talk to her.
He bows his head. Thank you, Ms. Truitt. I am deeply grateful.
Our server, a slender young man in black, arrives and clears the table in a clatter of cutlery.
Coffee,
Quentin murmurs.
Green tea,
I say.
Silence descends. I can talk about the presumption of innocence for hours, but I’ve never been good at the chitchat that gets people through awkward moments. No matter, our patio table has a view. I look out over the panorama of softly rocking yachts below, remembering another vessel in the yacht club across the bay where Vincent Trussardi confessed that he was my long-lost biological father. I turn away, trying to dispel the painful memory. He may claim to be my father, but that doesn’t make it so. I’m grateful when our drinks arrive.
Quentin stirs his coffee. He has what he wants—my promise to see his wife; he can relax now. Have you seen Vincent Trussardi recently?
I stiffen. Seasoned diplomat that he is, he uncannily senses where my mind has drifted.
It’s alright. I know it all. After all I was—am—Vincent’s advisor. I know he’s your father.
The eyes that peer at me over the rim of his cup are kind. Life is complicated. Nothing surprises me.
Did you know that when you persuaded me to take his case?
I ask.
Quentin shakes his head. All I knew is that he requested you as his lawyer. He told me after.
But you must have known he had set up a trust for me?
No. Oh, I knew the general outline of the estate, but the trust was in Mick O’Connor’s hands. When you took Trussardi’s case, Mick should have filled me in, but he didn’t.
Hard to believe,
I say.
He shrugs. That’s how it was.
A part of me wonders if Vincent has put him up to this. I don’t want the trust, if that’s what this is about.
Hard to make it go away. My advice is to let it sit for the time being. Reconsider in a year or two. Things may change in your life. Where you are, how you feel.
He pauses. Do you keep in touch? With Vincent, I mean?
No, not really.
What I don’t say is that I had lunch with him three months ago in May. He brought up the trust again. It didn’t go well. Why do you ask?
He seems to have disappeared. I haven’t seen or heard from him in months. Neither has his office staff or his financial people. I’ve made inquiries. No financial transactions.
I curse the knot that tightens in my chest. I did my professional duty for Vincent Trussardi and then some. But now it’s over. You know Vincent,
I say, pretending lightness. Stash of money in every port, and a girl to boot. He’s probably in Sicily basking in la dolce vita as we speak.
Quentin gives me a remorseful look. You do your father a disservice, Ms. Truitt.
Perhaps,
I say. But I owe Vincent Trussardi nothing. He may be my biological father, but in every other way he is just an ex-client. Someone I fought for with every ounce of strength I could muster. When justice was finally done, I closed the file. I respect him for what he is—a man who made mistakes he regrets. But it’s too late to claim me now.
Ah, well,
says Quentin, staring at the coffee growing cold in his cup. Family. Complicated. I should know.
A rueful smile. Ready?
He places a few bills on the table and stands. My car is waiting. May I offer you a lift, Ms. Truitt—or may I now say Jilly?
I consider. I’ve just agreed to see a woman whose case doesn’t have a hope and been reminded of the existence of a father I’d rather not have. I need to clear my head.
It’s a nice day for a walk,
I say, rising. And Jilly’s fine.
CHAPTER 2
THE WALK TAKES LONGER THAN I think. The stretch of lawn that lies between the condos of the elite and the sea abruptly banks against the grand hotels that brag seafront rights, obliging me to veer into streets packed with cruise-boat patrons frantically hailing taxis. I push through the masses and move east into the narrow lanes of Gastown, the shabby chic retrofit where the city began a century and a quarter ago. It’s two thirty by the time I climb the steps to the double doors marked Truitt & Co. My small but rising law offices.
Debbie glances at me over half-moon glasses from her place behind a newly installed bleached-oak desk. In our own move toward gentility, we’ve ditched the plastic panel that once shielded Debbie from unwanted interference and gone for a clean-lined welcome. She gestures to some papers sitting on the corner of the desk.
From Joseph Quentin’s office,
she says. Just came in. I’ll run the cheque over to the bank in a sec.
There are two pieces of paper. One is an engraved card with a message penned in dark ink—10 a.m. tomorrow, an address, and the swirl of Joseph Quentin’s signature—the other a trust cheque for fifty thousand. I marvel at the presumption of the man. He must have sped back to his office and written this note, signed this cheque, and given it to a gofer with instructions to get it to my office ASAP before I could rethink my promise to see his wife.
I slide the cheque in Debbie’s direction. Not for deposit.
Debbie, conditioned by years of penury to cash all cheques before the maker can stop payment, swivels in my direction with an arch look.
We’re just talking to the party,
I say. No retainer yet.
No retainer ever,
says a deep male voice.
I look up to see the thin form of Jeff Solosky, my erstwhile associate and newly minted partner, bearing down on me. Today, I note absently, his ensemble is black on black—black shirt, black tie, black pencil trousers. It suits him. Jeff fancies himself an artiste, talks about the novel he once dreamt of writing, but he’s also a realist and accepts that it’s his fate to practice law. It helps that he’s good at it. These days, the phone rings for him as much as it does for me.
Debbie told me you were lunching with Quentin,
Jeff says, inclining his head toward my office. I lead him in and he shuts the door behind him. There’s only one thing he can want.
You’re wrong,
I say, thinking of how Joseph deftly asked after Trussardi. But not completely wrong. He wants me to represent his wife.
You said no, right? The case is an absolute loser. When I agreed to be your partner, it was on the understanding that we could do better than pick up scraps from the tables of the likes of Barney Soames and Slaight Price.
Calm down, Jeff. I only agreed to talk to her.
I sink into my chair, noting the new pile of court transcripts Debbie has left on my desk.
We don’t want that kind of client, Jilly,
Jeff says, taking a seat opposite me. I did a bit of digging. She has a history of mental illness. A jury will see her as unstable, unreliable.
Quentin says she’s better now.
Yeah, sure. She just rejected a plea bargain that any rational person would have jumped at and has fired every lawyer who tried to talk sense into her.
People do irrational things all the time. We shouldn’t prejudge. The case looks bad, but we don’t know the whole story. No harm in talking to her. We’ll see how it goes.
Jeff raises his hands in mock apology. Forgive me, fearless leader, but I am filled with foreboding. Beneath your much-vaunted Teflon exterior you possess a heart of rubber, Jilly Truitt. Malleable, soft.
A metaphor worthy of a PhD in English Literature,
I say dryly.
We don’t need this case,
Jeff says, serious once more. It’s hopeless and there’s no time to try to pull a defence together even if you could find one. You should have just told Quentin no. Nada. Never. Go find someone else. Instead, you’re waffling. Could it be that the man has something over you?
I know what’s on Jeff’s mind: the trust, Trussardi’s salve for the wrongs of abandoning my mother to the streets and me to foster care.
The trust exists, Jeff, and Joseph Quentin has no power to change that. No power, no influence. If I don’t like the case, I say no.
Jeff takes off his round, red-rimmed glasses and rubs his eyes. She needs a lawyer, yes, but not you. The judge will appoint someone from legal aid. Making the state pay for his wife’s defence may take some shine off Joseph Quentin’s fading reputation, but the world will survive.
I raise an eyebrow at him. "What do you mean, fading reputation?"
I misspoke. Just something I heard. Joseph Quentin’s reputation stands unblemished.
I promised at least to see her, Jeff.
What time is your visit?
I push the thick vellum card across the desk and he picks it up. Ten a.m. tomorrow.
Jeff replaces his glasses. Toney address. But then, what do you expect?
He sets the card down. Thought you were on Danny Mah’s drug importation trial tomorrow.
Judge had a conflicting sentencing. They’ve put Danny’s trial off a day.
Danny Mah stands charged with importing a staggering quantity of cocaine from China. I took his case nine months ago.
I pull the stack of the transcripts toward me. "But I do need to bring the never-ending saga of Regina v. Mah to a conclusion. I intend to cross-examine the hell out of Sergeant Mitchell about what kind of goods they claim Danny was importing. The Crown says he was talking about cocaine on the phone call they tapped. I’m not so sure."
Yeah? You think dodgy Danny was exporting chocolate chip cookies?
I shrug. It’s cross-examination, Jeff. All we need is a suggestion of something. We don’t have to prove it.
Smoke and mirrors, our forte.
Jeff scowls, then in a single movement rises and shifts to the door. Go and see the lady, Jilly,
he says, turning. Just don’t do anything fatal until you talk to me.
CHAPTER 3
SHE IS WAN. SHE IS pale. She looks at me from great dark eyes and says, I did not kill my mother.
We are seated at the kitchen table of Vera Quentin’s glossy home, sharing a cup of tea.
Perfect, I think, she is perfect. Her voice of velvet, her silky brown hair swinging at her neck, her delicate features, and rounded lips of rose pink. Even her pale complexion and the lines that crease at her eyes seem perfect. Apart from the sadness in them, she’s the picture of serenity.
She rises to refresh my cup. As she crosses to the counter, I see the ankle bracelet I hadn’t noticed when she let me in. It sits with eerie elegance above the strap of her left sandal. And it reminds me of why I’m here. The bail judge, no doubt sniffing the spore of mental illness, hadn’t trusted her not to run.
It took me a while to find this place. No visible house, no number. Just a carved stone marker by an iron gate. Wrong place, I thought, but as I turned my Mercedes to go, the gate swung abruptly inward revealing glints of glass and cedar through the trees at the end of a long lane. Vancouver has its share of these enclaves, where the privileged dwell.
Vera returns to me, silver teapot in hand. Her linen shift moves against her thin arm as she fills my cup. Behind us, a black-haired maid in a white blouse is polishing the jasper countertop with more vigor than the task requires, lifting her head from time to time to observe us. Vera nods toward the hall and the maid leaves.
Amelie worries about me,
says Vera when we are alone. I am much better now. It took so long to find the right medication and therapy.
I bring the tea to my lips. When did you find it, Mrs. Quentin—the right medication and therapy?
After my mother died.
She studies her cup, then me. I’m guessing my husband sent you?
Yes, he thinks you need a lawyer. Your trial begins in three weeks.
I’ve had two lawyers. They wouldn’t listen to me. In the end we parted ways.
Her eyes say what she does not—why should you be different?
I don’t have the answer, so instead I say, Tell me what happened the night your mother died.
She takes a sip of her tea, then begins. Her head is back, her eyes half-closed. My mother wasn’t well. Cancer of the bladder. It was one of the slow, suffering kind. Yet she insisted on living by herself. She had some help during the day and called when she needed to, but she was essentially alone. I picked up the slack, checking to see how she was, sometimes spending the night with her. Joseph said I worried too much, but he understood. That night, we got a call.
And what did she say?
"I’ve been over it so many times in my mind. I can’t remember exactly what Mother said, but she needed me. Joseph and I were here at this table, finishing our dinner when the phone rang. He answered, then handed it to me. Your mother, he said. She was agitated, and said something about Maria, her day helper, having forgotten to put out her medication. She said Joseph had told Maria to leave early—Oh, I don’t remember exactly—"
So, you went to her house?
Yes. She sounded upset on the phone, so Joseph and I decided that it would be best if I stayed with her overnight. He offered to drive me. I wasn’t in great shape myself. I was very anxious that day and I’d had a glass of wine, maybe two.
And he did? Drive you over, I mean? No complaints?
No, Joseph was so understanding. He just said let’s go.
I think of Joseph, by day shouldering the problems of the world, by night coping with a worried wife and an ailing mother-in-law, and throughout it all remaining calm and caring. Could it have been that simple? If I take this case, I’ll need to know.
Mother lived in an old house in Kerrisdale, not far from here. Joseph dropped me off and I went inside and found her in her chair in the den. Her hair was mussed up and her nightgown was all stained from some spill. That was unlike her—she was always fastidious about her personal care. She started muttering, perhaps she was angry with Joseph for letting Maria go early. I didn’t pay much attention; she had been suffering periods of confusion. Anyway, I sorted out her medication—so many pills—Demerol for pain, Zofran for nausea, steroids for swelling, Imovane to make her sleep.
She slides me a sideways glance and shrugs. I gave her two sleeping pills instead of one. I know I shouldn’t have, but I was a bit worked up myself, and I just wanted to calm her down, make her sleep. I knew they were mild and wouldn’t harm her.
A picture is emerging—Vera, nervous and fussing with two glasses of wine in her, administering medication to Olivia, who is confused and angry. Joseph, the only functioning adult, dropping off his wife like everything’s normal. Something doesn’t jibe.
Can you tell me more about your frame of mind? How you felt at the time?
"I was unwell. I admit that. After my son, Nicholas, was born—more than twenty years ago now—I fell into a depression I couldn’t climb out of. I don’t know why. It didn’t make sense. I had everything I wanted: a beautiful home, a wonderful husband, and a perfect son.
My depression morphed into anxiety. I was obsessively worried, but I became adept at putting on a smiling face to the world. It was my family who suffered. Poor Nicholas, stuck with a mother who tracked his every move and called him ten times a day. And Joseph—let’s just say Joseph was a saint, a lesser man would have left me. All I wanted was to hold them close, but I was pushing them away. When Mother fell ill, I shifted my attention to her. I was in a constant state about her health, her medications, whether she was eating… I would drive over five or six times a day, just to check. And then I would rant to Joseph about the burden of it all. I realize now how difficult it was for everyone.
You said you were anxious the evening you got your mother’s call. Was there a particular reason for that?
I ask.
She hesitates. "I’d gone over the day before and Nicholas was there. He seemed upset—oh, he was calm and polite—but the house was tight with tension. I said something about how he should be at class—he goes to law school—and he just shook his head and stalked out. You shouldn’t have said that. Nicholas did the right thing, Mother said. What thing? I asked, but she refused to tell me what was going on, just sat there clenching the arms of her chair. Okay, keep your secrets, I said, and I left. I tried to put the incident aside, but it troubled me."
Secrets, I note. I’ll need to get to the bottom of what went on between Nicholas and his grandmother if this goes further. But now is not the time or place.
Were you on medication at the time? For your anxiety?
Oh, yes, like Mother, marinating in my customized pharmaceutical brine. Pills and pills and pills. Happy pills, relax pills. Celexa, Lexapro, Prozac. Not that they did much good.
That night, you say you were more distressed than usual, had a glass of wine, maybe two back at home?
Just to calm me down, Ms. Truitt,
she says sharply, then she sighs. "But it didn’t help. I remember yelling at my mother—You’ll drive me mad. She said something about my not knowing, not caring, and I hugged her and said I was sorry."
And then?
"And then, suddenly, she softened. She told me she knew things were hard for me. Don’t worry about me, she said. And don’t worry about Nicholas. He’s a good boy. We understand each other. And then we just sat there together, at peace. We’d moved her bed to the den because the stairs had become too much for her, so when she started to doze off, I tucked