The Voice of Silence: A Rabbi’S Journey into a Trappist Monastery and Other Contemplations
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About this ebook
Do you feel as if you are drowning in an ocean of difficulties and successes? This unique book invites you to resurface by recognizing your own inner space and inner peace.
Rabbi Dr.Analia Bortz
Rabbi Dr. Analia Bortz was the first Latin American female rabbi to complete her Rabbinical ordination in Jerusalem as a student of the Seminario Rabinico Latino Americano Marshall T. Meyer. She has over 25 years of experience as a pulpit rabbi and serves with heartfelt dedication and compassion the community of Congregation Or Hadash in Atlanta, Georgia. She is a Rabbinic Senior Fellow at the Shalom Hartman Institute in Jerusalem, Israel, and is the founder of BaKen: A Mental Health Initiative to reduce the stigma of mental health illness in our society. Rabbi Dr. Bortz holds a medical degree with a specialty in Radiology and completed her postgraduate studies in bioethics. She is the founder of Hope for Seeds, a support group for couples struggling with infertility and sterility. She is the recipient of the YWCA Women of Achievement Award and was nominated as a Jewish Hero of 2011. Happily married to Rabbi Mario Karpuj, she is the proud mother of two daughters.
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The Voice of Silence - Rabbi Dr.Analia Bortz
Copyright © 2017 Rabbi Dr.Analia Bortz, MD.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.
Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible
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ISBN: 978-1-5127-9394-9 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-5127-9395-6 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-5127-9393-2 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2017910921
WestBow Press rev. date: 08/14/2017
The voyage of discovery lies not in seeking new horizons but in having new eyes
.
Marcel Proust
To my parents, Esther & Isaac, who inspired me to live to my potential.
To my husband, Rabbi Mario Karpuj, my life partner and my journey partner.
To our daughters, Tamar & Adina, sources of strength and inspiration, who are not afraid to spread their wings and dream big.
This book is dedicated to Zachary Weinstein, who taught me, silently, how to overcome life’s challenges, and without knowing it, changed my life forever.
CONTENTS
One The Journey
Two Exposure to Fragility
Three Biblical and Liturgical Moments of Silence
Four Broken Tablets
Five Crafting and Staging
Six Fears
Seven Acceptance
Eight Memories
Nine Transcendence
Ten Ethical Will
Epilogue and the Art Of Finding Balance
One
THE JOURNEY
I did not cast a vow of silence. Sometimes, it is God who tells us that we need a sabbatical for our voices, and since my voice is instrumental in my life and my livelihood, I decide to follow the doctor’s orders and rest its activity to help it heal.
Without my voice, I feel asphyxiated, caged in the obstructive world of silence. My feelings of suffocation and exhaustion encase me as I can no longer express myself through the conduit of words. Instead, I find myself driving along Highway 20 on my way to Conyers, Georgia. I never thought I would drive this far away from home to encounter the unknown. Feelings of eagerness, excitement and anxiety accompany me on this route to the unfamiliar. Yet, I welcome the open-mindedness required on this journey of self-discovery.
Whenever I am at home in Atlanta on a Friday afternoon I listen to Israeli musician Etti Ankeri as she sings the pyiutim (poems) from medieval times. She often uses the lyrics of Rabbi Yehudah HaLevi, who lived in the eleventh and twelfth centuries, and whose heart ached with longing for Jerusalem. His longing transports me to a different dimension. Etti’s voice and guttural accent introduce me to the spirit of Shabbat, the seventh day of the week, that cyclically showers me with its spiritual peace.
On Fridays, after a whole week of juggling with many professional and personal tasks, I am delighted to cook for those whom I love and the guests that will join us for a Shabbat meal. I set the table: an immaculate, white tablecloth; special Shabbat dishes; pristine napkins; and the special wooden plate that my daughter Adina made at summer camp to host the traditional braided bread, the challah. I needlepointed the challah cover. The kiddush cup, the wine glass, filled with sweetness that sanctifies the day. It is colorful and decorated with a design influenced by the work of Salvador Dali, one of my favorite painters. In the center of the table are the beautiful white roses that my husband brings me every Friday. They crown the table as it waits for the entrance of the Bride— the Queen—Shabbat.
These are my roots. I am familiar with it. I cannot see myself anywhere else on a Friday evening but around the Shabbat table, singing the prayers and songs that connect me with my past and plans for my future while enjoying the present. I feel I am another link on the millennial chain that bonds one generation to another. I can see my ancestors setting the table for Shabbat and dream about my daughters and future generations embracing this magical moment.
The meal starts roasting in the oven and the smell of Shabbat penetrates our nostrils and cuddles our souls. Mommy, it smells Shabbat
our daughters exclaim when coming back home every Friday after school. The smell of Shabbat carves my inner self and strengthens my identity. It is about family past, present, and future.
As eighteenth-century Hassidic rabbi Levi Yitzhak of Berditchev, interpreted: At each stage of our religious development, as our sense of God’s wonder deepens, we sing differently to God—every time, we sing a new song, because each day is a new day and deserves a new song.
The Hassidic master, Elimelech of Lizhensk taught: During the six days of the week, we reach toward the Divine through the work we do in the world but on Shabbat we reach toward God through prayer and song.
I wear the appropriate clothes that identify this day as The Special One, yet recognize in my heart that just being PRESENT is the essential requirement that intensifies our Sabbatical experience. Receiving the majestic day of Shabbat that repeats every seventh day does not become a routine. Ceremonies and rituals present a basket of emotions, memories, and a sense of belonging that makes of familiarity a warmth and path of kindheartedness that crafts the soul while embracing the moment.
Philosopher Abraham Joshua Heschel called Shabbat a sanctuary of time
and Martin Buber refers to every Shabbat table as a small sanctuary,
reminding us of the Temple in Jerusalem. Our connection with God’s creation and sense of partnership intensifies as we bring light and balminess to our homes. Shabbat is the sanctification of time, an invitation to the pinnacle in the expression of holiness.
Not this time. This Shabbat I am heading to a different experience. It will not be at my home or my synagogue. I will attend a silent retreat at the Monastery of the Holy Spirit in Conyers, Georgia. Their brochure reads:
Although the retreat experience will vary with each individual,
you can anticipate:
. The leisure to slow down, relax, and dwell with God in love.
. The opportunity to soak in a spiritual book, especially the Scriptures.
. Solitude to meditate, pray and reflect on the issues of your life.
. The worship of God, shared with monks.
. Silence to listen to the Holy Spirit bringing