A Pebble in Boulder
By Danny Cole
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About this ebook
Danny Cole
I lived in Boulder from 1980 till 1984. I suffer from schizophrenia. I am from a small town in New Jersey. I am a high school graduate. I served a short time in the US Navy. I had an unusual experience living in Boulder. I tried to write an interesting story. For years I have read newspapers cover to cover. It was like a hobby, but it kept me company. I have been hospitalized for my illness more than once. I also participate in a day treatment program.
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A Pebble in Boulder - Danny Cole
CHAPTER 1
I had arrived home from Woonsocket, Rhode Island. There I had just signed myself out of the State Psychiatric Hospital. The staff did not want me to leave. I felt helpless. Here we are boycotting the Olympics and theres a movement to draft women for combat.
A week after I left the hospital I wanted to go back. The family I was staying with may not have expected me to come back, so I decided it was best to leave.
I returned to Randolph, NJ. Where I grew up. I guess I was unhappy here. I could not wait to get out of high school. At graduation I wore an I am Free button on my cap. There was a picture in the local newspaper. What people didn’t see was the anguish.
If people would just accept me for being intelligent and very good at sports. The old motto rules are to be broken an records are to be set. While at home I was very frustrated. These people knew I got a lot of votes for best all around from my graduating class.
I went into the Navy. I disappeared basically for 2 years and 4 months. I came home very troubled psychologically. I went to the local community college where most of the girls in most of my classes wanted to go out with me. I went to local bars. I broke up all the fights in these bars. I had run-ins with the police. These men started rumors and until 30 years later I never got to tell the truth of what happened. During this time I went into deep paranoia and depression. I was most likely hallucinating as I did in the Navy, but everything was real to me.
I tried to go to another college, this was the Livingston College. My older brother let me stay with him and his wife. My brother actually drove me to school and picked me up. But at school I would actually get tight, extremely paranoid and ended up going to see my sister at her college. Actually I first went to a VA Hospital in West Virgina. The doctor wanted to admit me. He however said I could go to a VA Hospital in NJ. I stayed in a room at my sisters dorm. The room at that time was temporarily empty.
I returned to N.J. and went into the VA Hospital after 2 weeks I somewhat adjusted to everyone and I seemed okay. Except the voices were in my mind. I was released from the VA Hospital, but a week or two later I ended up in a public hospital.
The doctor told me they could not help me. That I needed long term hospitalization, such as the State Psychiatric Hospital. I had applied for welfare from the town. In a couple days the lady from the office call and told me, I’ll bring you the check.
. It was only $16.00.
My parents did not have money to support me. I had gone to my local congressman to file for disability with the VA. I hoped I could receive something. At the time I went to a party sort of. Some people I knew It was at their rented house. There were many people there that I knew from high school. There were two young women I didn’t know. It was the middle of summer. One old friend of asked me to take my shirt off I was uncomfortable, but I didn’t know why. Then another friend from high school came.
He was living in Boulder, Colorado. I always knew him as a very good person. He knew there was entirely too much gossip in town. He told me I could go to Boulder I had to get away. I needed to find privacy. I needed to support myself. I got a job right away and found somewhere to live.
Before I left home I had borrowed one hundred dollars from my mother. I had to make it last. There was just one other thing I was in an office. I said at the greeter, for legal services back in NJ that it’s the police department and their friends they let go for drunk driving
. I knew it was obvious, but I would pay heavily. I would not be able to drive a car for the next 20 years in 3 states for no legal reason. I was just targeted.
Years later I heard they were suing me, but 20 years for nothing. I thought I am the one who needs a lawyer. There is one thing I haven’t mentioned