Mind.Body.Soul.
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About this ebook
Kendra Leonard
i always tell people i lived life backwards...
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Mind.Body.Soul. - Kendra Leonard
the end
a week ago, i thought i was going to die. i had just received a massage, and had to be helped back to the locker room of the spa because i could barely walk. i was shaking with chills, so i decided to enter the steam room for some much needed heat. it became so overbearing that i left almost immediately and went into the sauna. then i realized, i needed to lay down. i was getting extremely light headed. shortly thereafter, i was asked if i was okay by someone who worked in the spa. i said yes, that i just needed a few minutes. but a few minutes later, i realized i was not okay. they got me some water and orange juice and asked if they should call someone. at first i said no, but then i noticed my hands were cramping shut like claws. i started to feel like something was very, very wrong. they told me they were calling the paramedics.
my partner in crime showed up along with my mother, watching me cramp and shake. afterwards they said it looked like i was having a seizure. the paramedics talked me into breathing back to normal as i begged for them not to let me die. i wondered if this was going to be it, or if my hands would be stuck in this shape forever. after they finally sat me up, i was dressed and taken out on the stretcher. when we got outside i felt like i was going to vomit, and i did, then they put me in the ambulance and took me to the hospital. they said i was extremely dehydrated and had a panic attack. i was not one to get panic attacks, as i usually thrive in stressful situations, but this time i thought for sure, that i was going to die.
after getting me to the hospital, i was put in a wheelchair in the waiting room. hours went by, they finally pulled me to the back, told me that i could either get an iv, or go home and drink a gallon of water. i opted for going home. no tests were run, and i was just happy to have made it this far and allowed to go home. my mother was the best caretaker ever, making sure i had everything i needed and wanted. i took a bath and went to sleep.
the next day, my entire body hurt all over. i just laid on the couch all day, watched all the harry potter movies with my mother. took a bath in the morning and another one at night, and i finally convinced her to go home and get some rest. the next morning i woke up at 3:45am. i felt good so i started to clean my place. next thing i knew, i was drenched in sweat. i took my temperature. it was at 101.7. then it dawned on me- maybe that’s why i had sweat through my sheets. oh wait, maybe that’s why i sweat through my sheets the night before. i decided to wait to go to urgent care instead of going to the emergency room.
when i got to urgent care, they tested me for the flu. based on all my symptoms, it made sense. however, i was not prepared for the diagnosis they gave me. i didn’t have the flu, i had pneumonia. in fact, two of my upper lobes on my right lung were contaminated. they also told me that based on one of the tests that i might have a blood clot in my lung. i was like, ‘pulmonary embolism?! i could die from that, right?!’ i was shocked as i didn’t have a cough or shortness of breath, and now they were telling me that i might have a life or death situation on my hands. they also informed me that this test could show a false positive, but the only way to know was to go back to the emergency room.
i arrived at the emergency room around 11:30am. they called me back a few hours later to run some more blood work. they set me up on an iv, i got some fluids and some antibiotics for the pneumonia, and then they took me to get a ct scan of my lungs. it showed that i did not have a blood clot, and they let me go home. still felt like complete shit, walking in slow motion, etc, but i was alive. the very next morning, i got a call from the hospital. they told me that my streptococcus pneumonia, which is the most common form of bacterial pneumonia, had gone into my bloodstream and i could become septic so i needed to come to the hospital asap for more antibiotics. i was like, ‘sepsis?! i could die from that, right?!’
apparently they weren’t that concerned cause even though i got there at 11:30am, they didn’t call me back till 3:30pm for blood cultures. got sent out again till 5:30pm, when they finally brought me back for those good ‘ol antibiotics. i was feeling the best i had felt in days, and since they didn’t have a room available for me, i started doing yoga in the hallway. just stretching, nothing crazy. finally, i looked at the doctor when they walked by and asked, ‘so, 9:30, 10 o’clock, i can go home?’ he said, ‘you’re not going anywhere. we are keeping you for at least a night, if not two.’ they ended up keeping me for three. after the antibiotics and breathing treatment, my heart started to race. i asked the doctor to listen to my heart cause i thought it was going to pop out of my chest. he then mentioned that the breathing treatment can cause my heart rate to increase.
they gave me something to calm my heart down and at around 11:30pm, i was ready to fall asleep. they still didn’t have a room ready for me, so i went to sleep in the hallway. at 3:30am (those seem to be my special hours), i was taken to the second floor. i had a roommate, which i felt awful disturbing her sleep, but every hour on the hour after that, i was interrupted by nurses checking on us both and getting vitals. i was so exhausted but, wait for it, 11:30am, i was finally given permission to not get vitals checked and get some rest. i fell asleep for a few hours, and woke up not feeling that great. fever was in and out, and more blood was drawn for more cultures. i was told i wasn’t going anywhere.
the next day i felt good, but due to my fever, i had to stay another day. so i did a bunch of reading and relaxing, and hoped to not spike a fever. thankfully i slept through the night and the next morning i felt great. got up and took a shower and was told that i would be discharged in a few hours. that day there was a race in downtown. my street was blocked off, so my mother had to drop me off a block away from my place. i walked slowly towards my building and warned the cops blocking traffic that i had just been discharged from the hospital and to make sure i made it inside so my mother wouldn’t have a heart attack.
my mom went to stock my fridge and pick up my meds, and when she came back i broke the news to her, she couldn’t stay the night. i had made plans with a friend in my building for dinner, and i desperately wanted to be in my own space alone. i had just spent a week on and off in the hospital with my mother, and as much as i needed her then, i needed to be alone now. well, shortly after dinner was served, i started not feeling so great again. i had chills and when i got back to my