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    Liar! Liar!
    Liar! Liar!
    Liar! Liar!
    Ebook87 pages49 minutes

    Liar! Liar!

    By Bonnie Ellk Carver

    ()

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    About this ebook

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    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherXlibris US
    Release dateJul 30, 2008
    ISBN9781664187719
    Liar! Liar!

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      Book preview

      Liar! Liar! - Bonnie Ellk Carver

      Copyright © 2008 by Bonnie Ellk Carver.

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

      This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

      Rev. date: 07/29/2021

      Xlibris

      844-714-8691

      www.Xlibris.com

      560172

      Contents

      This book is for

      Brian and David who amazingly survived their childhoods

      with me, for Nicholas who begged for the

      stories, inspiring me to write them down, and for

      Marcus who has fearlessly signed up with this family.

      image%2001.tif

      CHAPTER ONE

      In Which My Father Is a Football

      I DON’T KNOW why my grandma has started lying to me. All I know is that I am a defenseless little kid.

      You sure make me wish I still had a little boy like your daddy around the house, she says right out of the blue one day. We are sitting on the couch waiting for Full House to come on TV.

      I do? I say. Why?

      Exciting things happened back when your daddy was my little boy. Nothing exciting has happened since, Grandma says pathetically.

      I’m curious of course. I have nothing to do till the news is over and the show comes on, so I say, What kind of exciting things? Tell me about when my dad was your little boy.

      Suddenly Grandma springs up, spins around, and plops back down on the couch with her legs in the air and her hair on the floor. I do the same. Why do we always watch TV upside down? I ask. Does the blood rushing to your head help you think?

      Hey! Watch it, kid. There is nothing wrong with my thinker! she says, taking mock offense. TV is just funnier upside down.

      I can’t argue with that. Everything is funnier upside down. I’ve known that since I was a baby and she would swing me around by my feet. The only bad part of sitting upside down is when my dog comes tearing over to lick our faces. Right now Abe is asleep on the kitchen floor, so we are temporarily safe from slobber. I wait, but she doesn’t talk. So, are you going to tell me about when my dad was your little boy? I try again.

      Okay, but just till our show starts. Besides, I’ve already told you about the time your dad was a football.

      "You mean a football player, Grandma. Dad couldn’t be a football," I smirk.

      "No, I mean a football, just like I said. And don’t interrupt or I won’t tell the story. With that, Grandma settles her head comfortably on a pillow and closes her eyes. Has she fallen asleep? A minute later she announces, All the fun and excitement in my life began the day your dad was born. Didn’t I ever tell you about how his birth occurred in front of thousands of cheering fans who gave him a standing ovation just minutes after he was born?"

      No! This could be more interesting than anything on TV. I think I’m outgrowing Mary Kate and Ashley anyway.

      "You don’t believe he was a football on the day he

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