Abuse to Favor
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About this ebook
When abuse happens, we tend to take on the pain alone, not wanting to let anyone in on our little secret. But the truth is you are not alone and you don’t have to endure it on your own. Abuse to Favor will help you realize that it’s not your fault and you don’t have to bear it alone.
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Abuse to Favor - Michelle Borquez
Chapter 1
Jo Ann’s Story
By Jo Ann Aleman
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
—Viktor Frankl
As children we dream about who we want to be, what we want to have, and how we will live our lives when we grow up. For me, my dreams were shaped out of a childhood that was fenced in by fear. Although abuse was my family’s normal
and my momma’s normal,
my little heart knew it wasn’t normal at all. Even though we are all somewhat conditioned by our environment, something deep inside of us reveals the truth. I knew that the things my little eyes saw at home were not what most kids were exposed to in their homes.
There were many nights I would lie awake uttering what I believed were prayers to God for change, only to discover later in life that I had actually been making commitments or promises to myself: I will never live like this when I grow up. I will never let a man treat me this way. I will never depend on anyone else to take care of me. I settled in my heart that I would be different. Yet my heart cried out for someone to sweep in and rescue me from all that I knew. The image I had of the perfect life did not include abuse of any kind. I would find my Prince Charming, someone who would love me and love the Lord, someone who would protect me and never hurt me or the family we would have. Little did I know that what I truly needed was not Prince Charming, but the King of Kings. It would take many years of heartache before I would finally leave abuse behind and realize that I have the favor of my true Savior.
Although my father was loving to his children and an incredible provider, he was also, at times, very abusive to my mom. Consequently, our weekends consisted of fear. Our home life changed drastically as the weekend approached. My father never came straight home after work on Friday nights. He would stop at the local bar to shoot a few games of pool and drink until he could barely drive. Once he arrived home, our hearts would pound with fear as the screaming and abuse would begin. As soon as he passed out, my mom had us quickly gather our clothes—just enough for the night—and we would escape the environment of rage before my father woke up. My childhood involved us leaving our home most weekends, sometimes for a few days, sometimes much longer. My mother always intended to leave my father for good, but with five children, she found imposing on her family members hard. In an attempt for some normalcy while away, she would enroll us in a new school, only to withdraw us and go back home when my father promised once again that life would be better. Unfortunately, the abusive cycle of chaos would continue for many years.
Our hearts would pound with fear.
In spite of her being abused, my mother was determined to keep her family intact. She was faithful to her own childhood commitments. As a