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    The Lifetimes of a Journey
    The Lifetimes of a Journey
    The Lifetimes of a Journey
    Ebook280 pages3 hours

    The Lifetimes of a Journey

    By John Davis

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    About this ebook

    This book is a reflection on the life that I shared with my late wife, Kathy. As I worked through my experience of unexpectedly losing her and the movement through my grieving process, a different focus has emerged. That focus is about where I find myself today-the journey

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherW. Brand Publishing
    Release dateOct 12, 2021
    ISBN9781950385713
    The Lifetimes of a Journey
    Author

    John Davis

    Author, self-taught electrical engineering designer, worked for 50 plus years, finally retired and always wanted to write a book put his fingers to the keyboard. The words of this book poured out from his life experiences, lost loves, friends, grandparents and family. A fictional book with touches of true life and life long characters from his past.

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      The Lifetimes of a Journey - John Davis

      TLOAJ_FINALcvr.jpeg

      • Praise •

      Having lost his beloved wife and life partner several years ago, John travels inward through what he calls several lifetimes, while he grieves and explores who he is and has become, all leading towards discovering the liberating experience of unconditional self-love. If you are in search of self-understanding and a deep appreciation of who you are, this book is for you. –Judy Dubin, author of Fired for Success, Courageous Conversations®

      If you think you understand unconditional love, you might want to read this book as it is so much more than I thought. John’s journeys through life allows the reader to experience love from many perspectives with self-love being the state that allows one to truly move forward to experience all life has to offer. –Sharon Fiehler, Founder ABC to CEO

      In The Lifetimes of a Journey John Davis describes how grieving a river of tears taught him to accept all that life offers, to love without conditions, and to swim in an ocean of unconditional love. This is a wonderful, inspiring story. Highly recommended. –Robert J. Tallon, author of The Enneagram Connection and Awareness to Action

      John’s subtitle, "My Amazing Journey of Coming Alive and the Power of Unconditional Love’’ is what this book is about. Buckle up to take the journey with John as he shares his thoughts, ideas and feelings that bubbled up from his life experiences, his pain in those experiences and the lessons learned from each of those experiences. If you want a model of how to think about your life, your gifts, your experiences, your future, this is the book for you. I believe it is a must read for all who seek to find and give unconditional love. –Laura Herring, author of No Fear Allowed

      John Davis has written an amazing book, especially for anyone who has experienced many ups and downs in their life and is looking for a guide to help them learn from their own journey through life. John leads the reader through the loss and loves of his life and how he used each one as an opportunity to learn unconditional love for himself and others. –Mike Snider, author of STAR Leadership and Seeking the Light

      Your book is amazing! It’s so real with raw emotions - and I am not afraid to tell you it brought genuine tears in places. Clearly written from the heart, and your journey will resonate with so many. –Wendy Haan

      I think about my mission of creating a world of unconditional love and my own life being filled with it.

      The author’s happy childhood—what he calls his first lifetime—ended abruptly with the death of his father, with whom his relationship had become strained, when he was a freshman in college. What he calls his second lifetime began his sophomore year of college, included the start of his engineering career and the births of his son and daughter. It ended when his first marriage broke down. His third lifetime began when he met his second wife, Kathy, in 1997 and ended when she died of pervasive cancer nearly nineteen years later in July of 2016. His fourth lifetime, he asserts, began thirteen months after her death when his grief softened into treasured memories, and he resolved to create a world of unconditional love, including self-love. This fourth lifetime, which features coaching others in the art of unconditional self-love, continues today.

      Refreshingly, Davis humbly admits his mistakes and challenges along the path to unconditional love and acceptance of self and others. He takes responsibility for his contribution to the conflict he had with his father as a teenager, admits that he was largely an absentee parent, and writes nothing uncomplimentary about his first wife, the mother of his children. He decries the racist teachings of his grandparents and his parents’ intolerance of religious practices different from their own, citing those as examples of conditional love he encountered in his youth. At the same time, he refrains from cloaking his successes in false modesty. He describes his rapid advance, while a young husband and father, through the ranks of his chosen field of endeavor. He tells of frequent intercontinental travel and exposure to diverse world cultures. Those who wish to achieve self-acceptance and explore masculine sensitivity may gravitate to this insightful self-help memoir. –Heather Brooks, US Review of Books

      Leadership coach John S. Davis shares the lessons he’s learned about emotional-awareness and the power of unconditional love during various stages in his THE LIFETIMES OF A JOURNEY. It’s clear that the process of writing THE LIFETIMES OF A JOURNEY has been cathartic for Davis . . . it ultimately feels more like . . . a journal . . . meant for a broader audience. –IndieReader Review

      Davis’s memoir—a reflective account of love, loss, and growth that edges into heartfelt self-help—is aimed toward readers eager to look for the possibility of unconditional love in each day. Davis believes it is the relationship with self that sets the tone for every other relationship in our lives, a conviction he demonstrates by sharing and exploring his own relationships, especially with Kathy, his beloved late wife. Davis has divided his story into four separate lifetimes, stretching back to childhood and covering marriage, divorce, loss, and his discovery of higher consciousness in his forties, all to examine what he has learned at each stage on that path toward unconditional self-love.

      Perhaps fittingly for a book about unconditional self-love, Davis’s journey reads at times something like a love letter to his development as a fulfilled and spiritual person. Davis suggests that readers seeking similar fulfillment devote great mental energy and extensive time alone to their own development. Readers new to the concept of unconditional self-love will find his definitions helpful: he differentiates between sense of self, confidence, and self-love, pointing out that despite only slight differences, precision is crucial when analyzing how self-love has changed one’s life. Still, his case might be more persuasive if it more clearly addressed the possibilities of selfishness and self involvement, how these practices fit among other life responsibilities (family, career), or issues of privilege that may impede some readers’ opportunities to pursue unconditional self-love.

      But this is one man’s journey, offered as a source of inspiration, to find the spiritual fulfillment that best suits him. Davis describes fluidly what he has learned from childhood, his departure from constructed religion, young adulthood, and his experience of intense grief. He concludes with concise depictions of how he chooses to interact with the world, lending a framework to readers to build upon themselves. What shines through: Davis has shaped this impassioned guide to introduce others to the possibility of love without conditions.

      Takeaway: One man’s journey through love, loss, and spiritual fulfillment–and how to find unconditional self-love.

      Great for fans of: Shannon Kaiser’s The Self-Love Experiment, Vex King’s Good Vibes, Good Life.

      ­–BookLife Review, Publishers Weekly

      half-titletitle

      W. Brand Publishing is committed to publishing works of quality and integrity. In that spirit, we are proud to offer this book to our readers; however, the story, the experiences, and the words are the author’s alone. In some cases, names have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved.

      Copyright ©2021 by John S. Davis

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the email below.

      [email protected]

      W. Brand Publishing

      www.wbrandpub.com

      Cover design by JuLee Brand / designchik.net

      Cover photo credit: S_Photo

      Journal cover artwork: Jaxon Wesley Davis - ©2021

      The Lifetimes of a Journey / John S. Davis —1st ed.

      Available in Paperback, Kindle, and eBook formats.

      Hardcover ISBN: 978-1-950385-77-5

      Paperback ISBN: 978-1-950385-70-6

      eBook ISBN: 978-1-950385-71-3

      Library of Congress Control Number: 2021912172

      Contents

      Praise

      Dedication

      INTRODUCTION

      WHAT JOURNEY IS THIS?

      FOUR LIFETIMES OF LOVE, LOSS, AND DISCOVERY

      CONSCIOUSLY CREATING A NEW LIFE

      HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS

      Lifetime #1- The Road to Conditional Love

      Chapter 1: Growing Up

      CHURCH RULES

      SUMMERS WITH GRANDAD LANE

      RACISM, RELIGION AND CONDITIONAL LOVE

      ACCOMPLISHMENT AND THE JOY OF JOBS

      COMING OF AGE AND A DEVASTATING LOSS

      Lifetime #1 Perspectives

      My experience of love

      My evolution in consciousness

      A Moment to Reflect . . . on Lifetime #1

      Lifetime #2 - The Pathway of Idyllic Love

      Chapter 2: Work, Marriage, Kids . . . and Divorce

      Work, Marriage, Kids . . . and Divorce

      FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE, THEN COMES…

      A NEW LIFE OVERSEAS

      MY INWARD JOURNEY BEGINS

      MY OUT OF BODY JOURNEYS BEGIN

      Lifetime #2 Perspectives

      My experience of love

      My evolution in consciousness

      A Moment to Reflect . . . on Lifetime #2

      Lifetime #3 - The Journey into Unconditional Love

      Chapter 3: Our WE Comes to Life

      Chapter 4: Holding Her with an Open Hand

      Chapter 5: Our Dance

      The Dancing Goes On . . . and On

      Chapter 6: When The Writing Stopped

      And Then the Writing Actually Stopped

      Lifetime #3 Perspectives

      My experience of love

      My evolution in consciousness

      A Moment to Reflect . . .on Lifetime #3

      Lifetime #3.5 - Navigating the Pain of a Lost Love

      Chapter 7: Choosing to Grieve

      The Dream

      Chapter 8: Yes . . . and Now What?

      Holding Back and Letting Go

      I Just Want to Talk

      Trying to let go

      Still Holding On

      Chapter 9: Transformation

      The Portal or The Cradle?

      Not again . . . Yes again

      The Way Forward

      In This Moment

      Heart Healing on Robert’s Mountain

      She Held My Heart

      Chapter 10: The Threshold Crossing

      Truly Letting Go with an Open Hand

      Lifetime #3.5 Perspectives

      My experience of love

      My evolution in consciousness

      A Moment to Reflect . . .on Lifetime #3.5

      Lifetime #4: Finding My Way to Unconditional Self-Love

      My 4th Life Manifesto

      My 4th Life Focus of Thoughts

      Chapter 11: Consciously Creating My 4th Life

      My 4th Life Manifesto

      My Focus of Thoughts

      Chapter 12: Being Alone : Being in Relationship

      Barbara: No dancing in circles for you!

      The Unique Gifts of Friendship

      Kay: Make yourself available and the Universe will respond

      Alexandra: Beckon each other with open hands

      Anitra: Think about your thinking

      Jill: Live your life in joy

      Johana: Don’t hold back–hold space

      Barb B.: Find a creative way to break the rules.

      ManKind Project: Unconditional love is sometimes tough love.

      Bill: The gift of unrelenting, daily support

      Warren: Focus-in on your truth

      Chapter 13: My Open-Heart Journey

      Opening (again) to grief and letting it go

      My head and heart dance

      Finding My Ice Cream Place

      Chapter 14: Holding My Life with An Open Hand

      Holding My Life with An Open Hand

      My newfound depth of unconditional self-love

      Lifetime #4 Perspectives

      My experience of love

      My evolution in consciousness

      A Moment to Reflect . . . on Lifetime #4

      Conclusion: Holding Our Lives with Open Hands

      Holding Our Lives with Open Hands

      What is it that is waiting to break open in you?

      What can I do to help US all BE in unconditional love?

      What does it mean to live my life fully?

      A Moment (or two) for a Final Reflection

      EPILOGUE

      The Generations of My Lifetime

      Unconditional Love with My Kids, Grandkids, and now a Great Grandkid

      My Great Granddaughter: Lillith Danielle

      My Grandchildren: Nadianna Kai, Rosemary Renee’, Jaden Mateo, and Jaxon Wesley

      My Children: Adam Wesley and Emily Renee’

      A New Aspiration

      Acknowledgements

      About The Author

      • Dedication •

      This book is dedicated to my Grands.

      My granddaughters Nadianna and Rosemary.

      My grandsons Jaden and Jaxon and

      great granddaughter Lillith.

      My words that follow reflect the world

      I feel certain they can find.

      They have my unconditional love always.

      The artwork found in this book are original drawings for this project by Rosemary and Jaxon.

      • INTRODUCTION •

      The Lifetimes of a Journey is truly about the journey of a lifetime . . .

      As I consider, examine, and reflect on my lifetime journey so far, I feel such gratitude, blessing and this compelling sense of wonder. I’ve been living my ordinary life, yet I feel like I am in this extraordinary place. Right now, right here. It humbles me, it excites me, it draws me into a feeling of possibility.

      I feel touched by Grace as I hold that possibility. I feel so thankful knowing I have come to this place.

      I am choosing to look for the possibility of unconditional love in each day, in myself, and in each of those I encounter. I sense that possibility for myself and I sense that possibility for each of us.

      I believe that it IS possible to live every day in the consciousness that is experienced as unconditional love. Join me in this exploration and see what you find possible!

      Original artwork by granddaughter

      Rosemary Renee’ Davis - ©2021

      WHAT JOURNEY IS THIS?

      When I started writing, I thought this book was to be a reflection on the life that I shared with my late wife, Kathy. As I’ve worked with my experience of that unbelievable life we had together, of unexpectedly losing her, and of the movement through my grieving process, a different focus emerged.

      I began to see my life as four distinct lifetimes, each with its own profound experience of love, loss, grief, and inevitably a renewal, leading to the next life. Each lifetime has also brought new awareness that has led to deeper levels of consciousness and a greater understanding of the power of unconditional love, and particularly of unconditional self-love.

      That is the focus where I find myself today.

      What I mean by unconditional love is first, a love that lets me accept myself just as I am and accept another just as they are. It’s a love that does not require them or me to be a certain way, rather it encourages them to just be themselves, just as it encourages me to just be myself. It encourages us to be our completely authentic selves. In addition, it is a love that is non-judgmental, that brings compassion into the world, and that recognizes that we are all connected. Understanding our connectedness can change how we see and interact with one another in such a powerful way. I have found, it is through this realization, that the idea of unconditionally loving each other becomes possible.

      If you’re someone who has never experienced unconditional love, this book may present ideas and experiences that at first seem out of touch and out of reach. My hope is in reading this, you find that part of you that is capable of loving yourself . . . and even loving yourself unconditionally. I believe that it is the relationship with self that sets the tone for every other relationship in our lives.

      And if you’re someone who has been fortunate to have experienced a relationship of unconditional love of yourself or with another, then my hope is this book will help amplify the gift that love has brought to your life and your ability to share it with the world.

      FOUR LIFETIMES OF LOVE, LOSS, AND DISCOVERY

      My experience with unconditional love has included finding it, losing it, grieving over it, searching again for it and ultimately discovering that I’ve had it within me all the time. I believe that each of us have it in us all the time, although it just may be out of sight.

      Lifetime #1 took me from birth up through my first year of college, when my father died.

      Lifetime #2 involved the completion of college and graduate school, getting married, having kids, focusing on a career and starting to travel the world. This lifetime was over when the marriage ended in divorce.

      Lifetime #3 began when I met Kathy and encompassed the amazing life that we created together. In that lifetime, I discovered quickly what unconditional love can bring into a life – what it brought into my life. From the beginning and throughout our time together, Kathy kept encouraging me to just be who you are. Her love was truly unconditional, and she helped me learn how mine could be as well—for her and for myself. That lifetime abruptly ended when Kathy died from breast cancer less than two years after being diagnosed.

      Next was a year of grief work that I am calling my Lifetime #3.5. During that transitional year I started writing for myself to help move through the grief. My Open Heart blog¹ became one important way of processing, dealing with, and emerging from that devastating loss.

      My Lifetime #4 is in progress and it is finding clarity now. This fourth life is emerging, even as I write this. I can now see that I have - and have been given - the chance of a lifetime. There was a time when I could not have imagined it would be possible for me to say that. It is calling me into a grand possibility that I would have never thought possible, especially after losing a life partner. And I sit here excited, exhilarated and really open to this new life, in a way that feels very empowering.

      While I will speak to the journey through my past experiences, it is where I am at present that is the real story. I want to be able to explain the significance of where I am today. It is in this place that I find myself truly coming alive.

      CONSCIOUSLY CREATING A NEW LIFE

      My

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