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    Pressing Issues II
    Pressing Issues II
    Pressing Issues II
    Ebook78 pages1 hour

    Pressing Issues II

    By Minenhle Langa

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    About this ebook

    Pressing Issues II is a celebrity talk radio station hosted by Amy Sheckenhausen. Sheckenhausen is a ditzy girl with a cheery voice, who tends to gush over her famous guests while ignoring those she tends to find boring. She sometimes reads a book during interviews and forgets when there's a commercial playing.

    Pressing Issues II runs "live" interviews with both local and national celebrities, along with listener call-in participation. During the broadcast, Amy talks with seven interviewees, The first guest on the show is Jezz Torrent, of the fictional band Love Fist, whom Amy admires. Jezz talks about the commercial failure of his recent album, which he blames on Margaret Thatcher, and about the themes of his music. After the segment ends, they hold a contest to win a ticket to their concert and promoting said concert.

    After this segment is an interview with professor and radical feminist Michaela Carapadis. Michaela is obsessed with hating men and even dresses as one, pressuring Amy to do so. She also discusses her recently published thesis, which describes an undercover experience on her study into the male psyche - cross-dressing so as to approach males and study their mentality. She is later insulted by a past-feminist caller on air who tells her her work is "totally nonsense and is nothing but a load of crap".

    Following that is an interview with Pat "Mr. Zoo" Flannerdy, an Australian animal lover who is implied to have been in zoophilic relationships with animals. Pat attempts to cover up a call that discusses a court case where he went through mental theraphy, to which ponders Amy. He is later removed from the studio by his doctor after talking about a relationship with a dead dolphin called Bobo.

    After Flannerdy is removed from the studio, Amy interviews a New Age priestess by the name of Gethsemanee Starhawk Moonmaker, who reminds Amy of her aunt. Gethsemanee preaches traditional and naturalist views such as growing out body hair and denouncing machines and technology. During this interview, a called named Freddy makes lewd comments to Gethsemanee, asking her for masochistic punishment.

    The next interviewee is BJ Smith, an aggressive and overzealous American football legend who discusses his recent fitness tapes and his comeback after working at a car dealership for the past few years. During the show, BJ attempts several times to flirt with Amy, who rejects his advances.

    And it goes on, enjoy.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherLulu.com
    Release dateSep 3, 2021
    ISBN9781312832411
    Pressing Issues II

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      Book preview

      Pressing Issues II - Minenhle Langa

      Pressing Issues II

      Minenhle Langa

      First published by Minenhle Langa, 2021

      Copyright © Minenhle Langa, 2021

      The right of Minenhle Langa to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him under the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000

      This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, no part maybe reproduced, copied, scanned, stored in a retrieval system, recorded or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

      PO Box 38253, Emlalazi, 3894

      South Africa

      E-book ISBN – 978-1-312-83241-1

      Cover image by: © Minenhle Langa, 2021

      Cover design by: Minenhle Langa

      www.adorerap.blogspot.com

      About The Author

      Minenhle Langa is a South African Geography and History licenced Teacher, Author, Songwriter, Poet, Music Producer, Rapper and Singer. So far he has released Two Mixtapes, 2016's CREAM and 2019's The Pope Love Letters, Five Studio Albums 2018's Realpolitiik, 2019's B6s and 2020's It Could Be Better..., 2020’s It Could Be Worst and 2021’s Wealth Of Sad Boy Songs. He has written and published 2 Epistolary Novels 2019's Tasteful Gestures: The Love Letters and 2021’s Tasteful Gestures: Temptations, 1 Drama Book 2019's Pressing Issues and 2 Poetry Books 2020's What's Wrong with Today's Society and 2020’s Nothing Was the Same, and 1 Book 2021’s Love Yourself, Know Yourself.

      Take Care of You

      Amy: So, hello everyone and welcome back to pressing issues. The City's main place for things. I mean well, it's a place in TGPR where things go on like interviews or things or other things like that. But at the moment it's interviews! And I'm Amy Sheckenhausen, the best interviewer in TGPR and exclusive to pressing issues. Remember you only hear Amy on pressing issues. Our next guest is a man on a mission. And that's why he's got such a silly name. His mission is simple, zoos. His name is Mr Zoo.

      Mr Zoo: G'day Aim.

      Amy: Hi Mr Zoo.

      Mr Zoo: Hi, the name's Pat, Pat Flanerdy. But I love zoos, I really do. That's why they also call me Mr Zoo.

      Amy:  OK, and which do you prefer?

      Mr Zoo: Ah what darlin?

      Amy: Which name, Mr Zoo, or Pat Flinger thingy?

      Mr Zoo: Ah, I don't mind babe. Whatever you fancy. Fine by me as long as we talk about animals. I don't give a damn what you call me. As long as it ain't Sheila or something.

      Amy: Ha, ha ha, you're silly Mr Zoo. Why would I call you Sheila?

      Mr Zoo: I don't know love you tell me.

      Amy: Ok, um, this is getting confusing. It says here your name is Mr Zoo, and now your saying your name is Pat Flan gum, and now you're saying it's Shelia?

      Mr Zoo: Uh, doll, the name ain't Sheila, that's a Sheila's name. It's an Australian joke.

      Amy: Okay, oh right. I don't speak Australian, do I?

      Mr Zoo: I guess not sweetheart.

      Amy: Ok, well, moving on. You're Mr Zoo?

      Mr Zoo: That I am

      Amy: Cool And I here you've made quite a name for yourself, why's that?

      Mr Zoo: Because I love animals Aim, animals. And publicity and stuff, and I love animals I love em

      Amy: Me too!

      Mr Zoo: That's the thing babe. We all love animals but we don't know too much about them, that's what I'm here to tell to you about, that and myself of course

      Amy: Of course so, right, what about animals?

      Mr Zoo: Well its interesting right, but not a lot of folks realize that we're 90% the same as a fly a cockroach or a pigeon that's the new science out there called Genetics, I think which is going to be real popular real soon. So what it tells us is all animals are pretty much the same, from a genestical level.

      Amy: Oh cool!

      Mr Zoo: Damn right its cool babe! You know what that means don't ya?

      Amy: No I haven't got a clue!

      Mr Zoo: It means we've all got to start caring for one another like family.

      Amy: OK! So let me get this straight, like my brother is a cockroach, and my dad is a pigeon and my mom is a fly. Is that right?

      Mr Zoo: Well sort of genesticallistically speaking but your bang on love. And you know what that also means?

      Amy: Uh, no.

      Mr Zoo: That you could literally speaking marry any animal you wanted and have kids unless your married already babe, you ain't married are ya?

      Amy: No, I just split up with my boyfriend he didn't like me being on the radio. Whatever. Said I sounded stupid.

      Mr Zoo: Well that's my point love, I mean, imagine if you'd been out dating a wolf or a cute little deer he'd protect you and stuff, urinate to keep out intruders but he wouldn't mind you being on the radio, wouldn't mind a bit.

      Amy: Why not?

      Mr Zoo: Wolves and deer's have no concept of jealousy of someone else's success. That's the Genestistic variation between homoerectus and spider monkeys. Jealousy and fur and stuff.

      Amy: Oh.

      Mr Zoo: Oh indeed sweet thighs, oh indeed. Would you like Mr Zoo to tell you something else?

      Amy: Yeah.

      Mr Zoo: Everything you learned in school was a lie babe, a lie! Take for ology for instance. You were told sharks were dangerous right?

      Amy: Yes.

      Mr Zoo: Cobblers babe. They're frightened of you. They ain't gonna hurt you! Have you ever tried cuddling a shark, getting down and dirty with one, relaxing it a little?

      Amy: No.

      Mr Zoo: Well I have, and I'll tell ya its very rewarding Aim babe. Very rewarding indeed.

      Amy:

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