Terrible Brothers: One Kills For Money. The Other Kills For Pleasure
By Calum Kerr
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About this ebook
Diana Hamilton is a strong, successful, wealthy woman. She owns the most discreet, exclusive and expensive private members club in Mayfair. But when she decides to expand beyond London she encounters two truly terrible brothers.
They have made millions over the years, importing heroin, cocaine, ketamine and illegal immigrants. But they want more. And her business looks like a soft target.
Read more from Calum Kerr
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Terrible Brothers - Calum Kerr
CHAPTER 1
Spring
Bond Street, London, is home to the world’s greatest luxury brands. Running parallel with this extraordinary street is Savile Row; the world-famous centre of handmade men’s suits for centuries. Between these two iconic addresses runs Old Burlington Street. And at ten fifty-five on Thursday June the third, a slim, tall, grey-haired man in a dark blue suit and spectacles of exactly the same colour, strolled up to the reception desk of a very smart office in this little known street and smiled.
Good morning, I’m William West and I have a meeting with Taylor Hamilton at eleven o’clock.
Of course, Mr. West,
replied the receptionist, looking briefly at her screen. It’s on the fourth floor. I gather you will be getting an identity card, so if you would be good enough to look at this little camera, I will take a snap and the card will be ready for you when you leave. One needs a card to operate the lift, so I will use mine to get you on your way.
She followed William into the lift, swiped the card, pressed the button, departed the lift and returned to her desk. When the doors opened there was a glass door directly opposite him with the name Taylor Hamilton Ltd and a button marked ‘Please press for reception’.
William did as he was told. Moments later the door opened and a young man in a somewhat old-fashioned suit extended his hand. Good morning, Mr. West. Welcome! I’m Andrew and I’ll take you through to the boardroom. The other directors are already there.
William walked down a corridor with modern limited edition prints on the walls and was shown into a large room with sunlight streaming through a huge, contemporary-style stained glass window. It made him think of a cathedral. There was a highly polished black table in the middle with six bright red Charles Eames lobby chairs around it. Diana Hamilton stood up to shake his hand. She was wearing a white silk shirt, pearls and a Chanel suit. Her hair was coloured to create the effect of a woman beginning to go a little grey. She was sixty-two years old and very attractive.
William. Welcome! Have a seat. Let me introduce you to our little team. This is Rory Taylor, our accountant and company secretary.
A fresh-faced young man in a grey suit and waistcoat smiled a little shyly.
And this is our operations manager, Chloe Osbourne.
Chloe’s face lit up with a wide smile as she said hello.
Diana was organised and brisk. Very brisk. Very professional. But she smiled as she spoke.
Right; let’s start. First item on the agenda is the minutes of the meeting in December. I think there are a number of actions under Any Other Business. Chloe, would you like to bring us up to date, please?
Of course, Diana. The first item was compliance with the EU General Data Protection Review. We are now compliant and I am on the record as the Data Controller. As we know, we should have dealt with this issue a while ago, but all is well now. The second item was the VAT point that Rory raised and this has been resolved. The next item related to a wide HMRC investigation called IR35, which suggested that fee earners such as some of ours might be considered to be employed rather than self-employed. In fact, they are now all employed so this is no longer an issue. The last action related to the Equal Pay initiative. Given our size we are exempt from reporting on this, but we carried out the exercise as agreed at the last Board. The survey showed that our female staff are earning about 15% more than the male staff, which is broadly in line with their utilisation. I suggest that there is no need for intervention at this time.
Thank you, Chloe. Agreed. I think the next agenda item is to welcome William West to the board. William, would you like to introduce yourself?
Happy to do so, Diana.
William leaned forward; he had thought about what he would say on the train into town. He disliked talking about himself; always thought he was a bit of an imposter.
I spent many years as a partner in DPK. As you will know, they are now the largest of the ‘Big Three’ global accountancy practices. My focus was on financial services, in particular, strategy and transactions. I retired from the firm several years ago but they still retain me to be available when required. I don’t believe there are any conflicts of interest, so I am delighted to join this board and hope I can make a worthwhile contribution.
Thank you William. Any questions?
asked Diana to the rest of the group. Right. The next item is the financial report. Over to you, Rory.
Rory looked a little nervous and appeared to blush but quickly got down to business.
If you turn to page four on your iPads you will see my first slide that deals with the full year’s summary and year-end numbers. As you are aware, last year was a very challenging year with losses of around one million pounds; however, I can report that we have exceeded this year’s targets. If it is OK with you, Diana, I would like to flesh out some of the metrics so that William can get up to speed.
Diana nodded.
William cleared his throat. Let’s start with the revenues. We have two streams: membership fees and engagement fees. The membership fee is five thousand pounds per annum plus VAT. The engagement fees are variable. As you will see, both are above plan. We had an average membership last year of one thousand one hundred people, which generated around five point five million pounds. Turning to the engagements, you will see we had an average of fourteen point three fee earners with utilisation that averaged eighteen point two engagements per month. William, I should mention that we assume our fee earning professionals work the equivalent of just ten months per annum in order to cater for holidays, sickness and so on. The average fee per engagement was two thousand three hundred pounds last year and so we have total fee revenues for the year of just less than two point six million pounds, therefore, we generated total revenues of just over eight million pounds. As for expenses, average fee earner remuneration and benefits increased by three percent. William, for your information, this includes salary, pension, private health insurance, clothing allowances and expenses. As you will also see, their average cost is ninety-one thousand pounds, so the total cost of that team is about one million three hundred thousand pounds. It was keeping most of that team employed last year that created the substantial loss. The next section covers the central costs which include Chloe and her three executives, premises, infrastructure, research and so on.
Excuse me, Rory,
asked William, what is the research?
It relates to new members. Even though we only accept them when nominated by an existing member, we still carry out due diligence via a specialist consultancy called ThreeWiseMen as part of our client acceptance process.
Rory continued. Finally, we have Diana’s drawdown, which is a nominal two hundred thousand pounds. The balance of her income from the business is via dividends so as to avoid National Insurance charges. After this, you can see that the profit before tax is four million, six hundred and forty thousand, five hundred and twenty-six pounds. An excellent result.
Another quick question, Rory, if I may?
asked William. How do you reconcile all this data around fees?
Rory smiled. Time sheets. Submitted electronically by midnight Sunday. Automatic fine if the deadline is missed. We also track and manage utilisation on a monthly basis. Just like staff at DPK, William.
The next item was Operations. Chloe provided an update on IT security and the new Darktrace system. She smiled at William. It’s expensive but highly effective. Needless to say, our clients need to be assured that we have the best data protection that money can buy.
Chloe also proudly announced that the graduate recruitment programme was going well and two of last years’ interns would be joining the firm shortly.
Diana leant forward. I think that covers everything. But any other business?
Everyone shook their heads.
By twelve-thirty the meeting was over.
Thanks, Rory,
said Diana. Excellent presentation. See you soon, I hope.
And five minutes later she was leading William and Chloe down the street and around the corner to Cecconi’s and the discreet space at the back where they could talk freely and celebrate success.
CHAPTER 2
One bottle of Veuve Clicquot Yellow Label and one and a half bottles of Rapitalà Chardonnay Gran Cru later, Diana raised her glass.
Here’s to the future!
Chloe and William responded.
But,
began Diana, here’s the thing: I’m bored.
Bored?
cried Chloe, incredulous.
William just raised an eyebrow.
Bored? How can you be bored?
asked Chloe again; albeit a little more softly.
Diana grinned. I know it sounds silly, but I’m looking for a new challenge and I have an idea that I would like to share with you. Let’s finish off this bottle, get some coffees and I’ll tell you what I’ve been thinking.
Glasses empty, coffee cups full. Diana leant forward and talked quietly even though no one was in earshot.
We now have capital of almost five million pounds and most of it is in banks paying very little interest. In fact, the way it is going it won’t be long until they are charging us rather than paying us. I think we should use some of it to expand. And I have been considering how and where. Although sixty percent of our clients live abroad, I have dismissed cities outside of the UK; too much risk. Far too much, in my opinion. Inside the UK, I favour Manchester and Edinburgh. Any ideas why?
I can give you one reason,
volunteered Chloe. A few weeks ago you asked me to run a programme to give you the business and home addresses of all our UK members and list them by the cities in which they lived or worked and, apart from London, Manchester was first on the list, Edinburgh was second.
Correct!
agreed Diana. Top marks! If we are to branch out it must make sense to pick a location where our members will have contacts that may wish to take advantage of a local service. But we have to be realistic; it will take time to get traction. In the short-term, we will be running at a loss. But, William, I assume we could offset that against tax?
Possibly,
he replied cautiously.
Diana looked disappointed.
William, you don’t look very enthusiastic. What do you really think?
He frowned. Actually, I’m not sure what to think. I take your point about the idle capital but you know we could raise the risk profile of that to get better returns. So, the question is this: Are you looking for excitement or investment returns?
Both, William, both!
Well, in that case, let’s look into it.
Chloe, what do you think?
I think I need to get back to the office and take Champ out for his post-lunch walk. But I can say, I think it’s a great idea. And I would be very happy to move to either of those places to get the thing set up if that would be helpful. See you later.
Champ?
enquired William as Chloe disappeared.
Champ is Champion, Chloe’s beloved Jack Russell. He is a rescue dog she adopted. Everyone in the office loves him. He’s like the team mascot and appropriately randy!
Diana looked at her watch.
Glass of Gavi?
William smiled and then laughed.
Your watch – Cartier Tank. It was the first thing I noticed about you and, of course, we met over there at that bar! We were both drinking Gavi di Gavi. You gave me your card.
And you know what I noticed about you, William? It was your Cartier Roadster watch. Actually, not the watch, but the strap. It was dark blue; exactly the same colour as the spectacles you were wearing. And your shirt, light blue. All perfectly coordinated. Just like today.
He beamed. Now, here we are again.
Yes, William. But now you have Ina.
CHAPTER 3
Fuck me, Freddie! Fuck me!
Ina was on fire. Her bright green eyes were blazing; her pale face was flushed. Running her fingers through her short red hair as she looked up at Freddie.
He looked down, smiled and spoke. I’m not sure William would approve.
Ina stood up swiftly from her desk, put her hands on her hips and stared at him.
This is no time to make jokes, Freddie. For fuck’s sake! What the hell has happened?
You tell me. We understood that the KPMG audit fee last year was about thirty-three million pounds and when my team at DPK looked at the work we decided to pitch at thirty-two and a half. How were we to know that KPMG would reduce their fee to thirty-one? And how come you didn’t tell us?
Ina sat down again and stared Freddie in the face. It would not have been professional. I am the Finance Director, for God’s sake.
I get that, Ina. But given our situation could you not at least have given us a bit of a clue? And when I say ‘us’, you know I mean me. The senior DPK partner. And you know that if DPK doesn’t win the audit, then I won’t be around that much, which might be a problem given our conversations with the National Crime Agency last year. We promised to look at this new money laundering thing for them.
So, what can we do?
I’ll have to have a think about it and maybe talk to a couple of pals to lower our fees. I can think of some options. In the meantime, let’s calm down. How about a drink?
OK. Actually, that would work well. I’m taking a girl I mentor to Plateau in an hour or so.
They walked through John Lewis to the lift to Plateau and sat at the bar. Ina ordered a Scotch and Freddie, a large gin and tonic. They had been friends for some time and the recriminations had been brief. In the world in which they worked, the sentence that started a positive move forward was a cliché. But, like most clichés, it worked.
We are where we are,
said Freddie. And I do have some ideas about how we might make this work. And let’s not forget that we know that your chairman and the chair of the audit committee want to give DPK the work. Anyway, how is it going with you?
Give me another drink and I’ll tell you. But this time a glass of Champagne, please.
The drinks arrived and Ina spoke. Freddie, it’s going very well indeed apart from this potential audit issue. I got a five-plus in my first review, which is the highest possible score. I can’t tell you about bonuses because we are close to announcing our results but, money wise, things are great there too. It’s only about nine months since I joined, but I think I must be a strong candidate for the job when the CEO retires.
When is that?
Seriously, I can’t tell you; it’s market sensitive but the timing looks good to me.
Congratulations. To be the CEO of a major high street bank is a big deal by any standards. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. In the meantime, who is this girl you are taking to dinner in this posh place?
Ina took a moment to respond. She joined about six months ago and I have met her a few times. What I want to do over dinner is get some honest feedback on her experience so far in the bank. Her name is Carwen Price. She’s a bit of an introvert, a bit strait-laced – perhaps somewhere on the spectrum. She went to Wadham and has an MSc in Mathematical Modelling and Scientific Computing. She qualified as an actuary by the age of twenty-eight. And she managed it when working God knows how many hours in an investment bank.
Freddie looked over Ina’s shoulder and whispered, I know what you mean by strait-laced if that’s her.
In spite of the mild evening, Carwen was wrapped up in a coat, jacket, scarf and hat. In spite of all the clothing, or perhaps because of, Freddie could tell that she was very slim. They shook hands and sat down. She kept her coat on. The waiter came over. Carwen asked for a spritzer and they chatted a while. Freddie, true to form, flirted with her. And she seemed to come out of her shell a little. There was a powerful magnetism around Freddie Findlay that was almost superhuman. He wasn’t particularly good-looking; his face looked a bit battered and as if he had a broken nose. Even though his suits, shirts and ties were high quality, he always looked a bit dishevelled. But when it came to women, most seemed to find him seriously attractive. It was clear to Freddie though that there was no green light, not even an amber one as far as Carwen was concerned.
CHAPTER 4
Half an hour later, Freddie took the Jubilee line to Waterloo and then the bus that stopped exactly outside The Delaunay restaurant in Aldwych where he was having dinner with his old pal, Rod Gladstone. They had joined the Royal Navy at the same time and served on the same ships until Freddie applied to, and finally joined, the Special Boat Service. After discharge, Rod became an estate agent in a posh West End firm and Freddie, after some adventures, finally ended up as a partner in DPK.
Rod beamed when Freddie arrived. Freddie, it’s too long since we met face to face. Years! My God; what kind of life have you been living? Tell me more. Give the whole story!
In due course, Rod. But let’s order some drinks and food and you can tell me what news you have on my house sale.
Good news, Freddie. I know it has taken a long time but we now have two offers at the asking price, subject to survey. One involves a chain; the other doesn’t. Both have architects looking at building specs, as they want to bring the place up to date. My guess is that we could exchange with one of them in a month or so.
Excellent. I’ve been looking at a flat in a place called Fulham Reach. More accurately, it’s rather like a penthouse.
Rod smiled. I know that development; nearer to Hammersmith than Fulham but right on the river. Very pleasant, but tell me about this shooting thing. You made the headlines, for God’s sake!
It’s a long story, old chap, but I’ll make it short. There was a bit of an issue at DPK when one of our clients appeared to be involved in money laundering. Our partner and a graduate trainee spotted it and it was absolutely terrible. Horrifying. Believe it or not, they were both murdered. Murdered! Another partner, William West, a good friend of mine, got involved. And it looked like he was next in line. Then I got involved as well and ended up having to shoot the guy you read about. It was a 12-bore shotgun. At six feet. Took his arm off. He had a handgun pointed at me. It was self-defence.
Jesus Christ, Freddie! Just what were you doing with a 12-bore in the first place?
It was August the twelfth, ‘The Glorious Twelfth’ and I was on my way to shoot grouse. The police grilled me a bit, but no charges or anything like that, but the guy turned out to be on an Interpol arrest warrant, so he got deported. Harmless. Or should I say ‘armless’!
Good grief. You SBS nutters!
Tell you what, Rod, I’ll take you through the whole story when we have time. It was extraordinary and they really put William through the wringer. The entire thing was unbelievable and if you wrote it for a book, people would say it was too farfetched. Perhaps someone will want to make a film about it,
mused Freddie. Who do you think would get to play me?
That’s easy – Daniel Craig.
Do you think so?
No! More like Harrison Ford with a posh English accent.
Fuck off, Rod, the guy must be about seventy!
Exactly,
was the prompt response. Or maybe Robert Redford, but with an English accent, of course.
Freddie hadn’t given much thought to shooting that guy back on August the twelfth, but when he did, he remembered every detail. Seeing it again in slow motion. Hiding in the bushes. Holding the cocked 12-bore. Watching the bloke with the handgun pulling William out of the car. Looking down on him. Poor William – bloody, dazed and distraught. He remembered how it was so simple to sort things out. Far simpler than the other times he’d had to deal with difficult situations. As his cab drove him home through the shiny lights of Knightsbridge, he remembered the moment. Standing up he had shouted ‘Drop the gun!’ And at the same time he had pulled the trigger. Only a fool would do otherwise.
CHAPTER 5
Friday night was date night for William and Ina. And they had agreed to meet at La Trompette in Chiswick at seven thirty. Ina, being Ina, had come on the Jubilee line from Canary Wharf, changed to the District line at Westminster, strode with her wheelie case from Turnham Green station to the restaurant and arrived at seven twenty-five looking very smart in her work clothes. William, being William, was already sitting at their usual table; a round one rather than the rectangular ones, which he felt were too close together. He was wearing dark blue chinos, a white T-shirt and a grey Éric Bompard cashmere sweater. His watch strap and spectacles were also grey. He stood swiftly and they kissed. He pulled her chair out and, as she sat down, she smiled and gasped, Whisky! Johnnie Walker Blue Label!
The hovering lady from the front desk gestured to a waiter to promptly provide her drink.
Busy day?
enquired William.
Busy day, busy week, busy life. God, it’s so good to be here with you with the weekend ahead and nothing planned apart from golf on Sunday morning. SNAFU at the office, but I’ll tell you about that tomorrow. Ah, here’s my Scotch!
William sat back and smiled. While sipping his Sipsmith vodka on the rocks he was thinking how lucky he was to have Ina opposite him. After all, he would be seventy-one years old in November. He picked up the menu and quickly made his choice. Ina did the same. As soon as they had ordered, the sommelier came across and they agreed that, as Spring had sprung, they would go for a Provence rosé with their starters.
So, how was your week?
asked Ina.
Pretty good, actually. Very interesting day yesterday; my first board meeting with that company I mentioned.
The one with the sexy CEO?
That’s the one. Sexy, but serious. Very serious. But not as sexy and serious as you. And certainly not a chartered accountant like you. But it was an interesting meeting and very professional.
Their starters arrived and were finished in less than ten minutes.
That was wonderful,
said Ina. Now, tell me more about the board meeting.
It was good news all round. Revenues up, profits up. No major issues, plus some plans for growth that made sense to me.
But what do they do?
Professional services.
In what exactly, darling? That could mean anything.
Let’s leave work alone for the time being, Ina,
suggested William, trying to move the conversation in a different direction.
But Ina was intrigued. No, please tell me more.
William had known that at some stage he would have to explain to Ina what sort of company he had joined. So, he took a sip of his wine and launched into his explanation by asking, Have you heard of Quintessentially?
Of course! They provide some super up-market concierge services to high net-worth people and companies all over the world. Private jets, tickets to Wimbledon finals, golf with Tiger Woods, chats with Boris Johnson and all that stuff. I’ve no idea how much it costs to join; I think it is a case of ‘if you want to know the price you can’t afford it’. But what’s that got to do with what you are doing at Taylor Hamilton?
Well
, began William, "Taylor Hamilton is similar but is more of a boutique company and focused on the UK, whereas Quintessentially is global. And we have a