The Other Child
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An old farm, a deserted landscape, a dark secret from times past with fatal consequences for the present.
In the tranquil northern seaside town of Scarborough, a student is found cruelly murdered. For months, the investigators are in the dark, until they are faced with a copy-cat crime. The investigation continues, but they are still struggling to establish a connection between the two victims.
Ambitious detective Valerie Almond clings to the all too obvious: a rift within the family of the second victim. But there is far more to the case than first appears and Valerie is led towards a dark secret, inextricably linked to the evacuation of children to Scarborough during World War II.
Horrified at her last-minute discovery, Valerie realizes that she may be too late for action.
Charlotte Link
Charlotte Link is one of Europe's bestselling crime writers and has sold more than 15 million novels in Germany alone. Greeted by rave reviews, her atmospheric brand of psychological suspense made The Other Child a massive No. 1 bestseller in Germany. Charlotte has been nominated for the Fiction Category of the German Book Prize and her work has been widely adapted for TV, with the adaptation of The Other Child set for transmission in Germany in 2011.
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The Other Child - Charlotte Link
DECEMBER 1970
Saturday, 19th December
She knew she had to get away as quickly as possible.
She was in danger, and if the people who lived on the isolated farm caught sight of her she was lost.
Suddenly the man appeared out of nowhere in front of her, just as she got to the farmyard gate and was about to hurry down to her car. He was big and not as scruffy as she would have expected among these dilapidated buildings. He was wearing jeans and a jumper; his grey hair was cut very short. She could not see any glimmer of feeling in his pale eyes.
Semira could only hope he had not seen her behind the barn. Maybe he had spied her car and come to see who was snooping around. Her only chance was in convincing him she was harmless, even though her heart was pounding and her knees knocking. Her face was beaded with sweat, in spite of the biting cold on this already twilit December afternoon.
His voice was as cold as his eyes. ‘What you doin’ here?’
She tried a smile, but felt her lips quiver. ‘Thank God. I thought no one was here …’
He looked her up and down. Semira tried to imagine what he saw. A skinny little woman, not yet thirty, wrapped up warm in trousers, fleece-lined boots and a thick anorak. Black hair, black eyes. Hopefully he did not have anything against Asians. Hopefully he did not realise he had an Asian in front of him who felt like she was going to throw up at any moment. Hopefully he had not realised how afraid she was. Semira had an awful feeling he could smell her fear.
He nodded towards the copse at the bottom of the hill. ‘Your car?’
It had been a mistake to park it down there. The trees were too sparse and bare – they concealed nothing. He had seen her car from one of the upper windows of his house, and put two and two together.
What an idiot she was, to come here and not tell anyone. And then to park her car in sight of the wretched farm.
‘I’m … completely lost,’ she stammered. ‘No idea how I ended up here. Then I saw your house and thought I could ask if …’
‘Aye?’
‘I’m new to the area.’ Her voice sounded wrong in her ears, too high and a little shrill, but he did not know how she usually spoke. ‘Actually, I wanted … I wanted—’
‘So where you goin’, really?’
Her mind was blank. ‘To … to … what’s it called again?’ She licked her dry lips. She was standing face to face with a psychopath. He should have been locked up, and the key thrown away, she was sure of it. She should never have come here on her own. There was no one here who could help her. She was only too aware of the absolute isolation and remoteness of the place. No other farm near or far, not another soul.
She could not afford to slip up. ‘To …’ Finally a name popped into her head. ‘Whitby. I wanted to go to Whitby.’
‘You’re right lost. Main road is a fair drive from here.’
‘Yes, that’s what I was starting to figure.’ She forced a smile again. The man did not smile back. He stared fixedly at her. In spite of his impassive appearance, Semira could feel his mistrust, his suspicion, which seemed to grow with every second that he talked to her.
She had to get away!
She forced herself to stand there calmly, although she really wanted to run. ‘Could you tell me how to get back to the main road?’
He did not reply. His glacial blue eyes seemed to go right through her. She really had never seen colder eyes. As cold as if there were no longer any life in them. She was glad she had a scarf wrapped round her neck; she could feel a nerve twitching away under her right jaw.
The silence lasted too long. He was trying to work something out. He did not trust her. He weighed up the risk that this little person posed for him. He examined her, as if he wanted to penetrate deep into her mind.
Then a scornful expression passed over his face. He spat on the ground in front of her.
‘Black bastards,’ he said. ‘Fillin’ up Yorkshire now, an’ all?’
She flinched. She wondered if he was a racist or was just out to provoke, to draw her out of her shell. He wanted her to give herself away.
Act as if this were a completely normal situation.
She felt a sob rising in her throat, and she could not stop a hoarse sound escaping. It simply was not a normal situation. She had no idea how long she could control her panic.
‘My … husband is English,’ she said. She never did that usually. She never hid behind John when she was faced with prejudice about the colour of her skin. But an instinct had led her to give that answer this time. Now he knew that she was married and that there was someone who would miss her if anything happened to her. Someone who was not a stranger in this country and who would know immediately what to do when someone disappeared. Someone whom the police would take seriously.
She could not tell if her reply made any impression on him.
‘Get yourself away,’ he said.
It was not the moment to be indignant about his rudeness, or to argue for equal rights for people of different colours. She had to escape and find the police.
She turned to go. She forced herself to walk at a measured pace and not to give in to the urge to run. He had to think she was insulted without knowing that she was going mad with fear inside.
She had taken four or five steps when his voice stopped her.
‘Wait!’
She froze. ‘Sorry?’
He strode over to her. She could smell his breath. Cigarettes and sour milk.
‘You were over at t’ shed, weren’t you?’
She had a knot in her throat and broke out in a sweat all over her body. ‘What … what shed?’
He stared at her. She could read in his emotionless eyes what he could see in hers: that she knew. That she knew his secret.
He no longer had any doubts.
She ran.
JULY 2008
Wednesday, 16th July
1
The first time he saw the woman he had just left Friarage School and was about to cross the road to go home. She was standing in the open doorway, clearly hesitating to set foot outside in the pouring rain. It was almost six and already unusually dark for the time of year. The day had been oppressively hot, then a storm broke over Scarborough with mighty claps of thunder. The heavens opened and it seemed that the end was nigh. The schoolyard was deserted. Water immediately gathered in giant puddles on the uneven tarmac. Angry blue-black clouds massed in the sky.
The woman was wearing a calf-length, flowery summer dress. It was somewhat old-fashioned but quite suitable for the day, until the storm came. She had long, mousy-blond hair, which she wore in a plait, and was carrying a shopping bag in her hand. As far as he knew, she was not a teacher. Maybe she was new. Or on a course.
Something invited him to step closer and to consider talking to her. Maybe it was her unusually old-fashioned appearance. He guessed her to be in her early twenties, yet she looked completely different to other women of her age. Not that looking at her was going to send a man into ecstasies, but something would hold your attention. You would want to know what her face looked like. How she spoke. Whether she represented some kind of alternative to her era and her generation.
He, at any rate, wanted to know. Women fascinated him, and as he knew almost all kinds of women by now, the unusual ones exerted a particular fascination.
He walked over to her and said, ‘You don’t have an umbrella?’
It was not that he felt himself to be particularly original at this moment, but in view of the torrential rain outside the question was almost inevitable.
The woman had not seen him approaching and jumped. She turned towards him and he realised his mistake. She was not in her early twenties, but at least her mid-thirties, perhaps even older. She looked friendly, but plain. A pale face without make-up, not pretty, not ugly – the kind of face that you would not remember for more than two minutes. Her hair was drawn back from her high forehead in a rather loveless way. It was obvious that she was not consciously trying to embody a particular type, but simply had no idea what to do to look more attractive.
A nice, shy thing, he judged, and completely uninteresting.
‘I should’ve known there’d be a storm,’ she said. ‘But when I left home at lunchtime, it was so hot that a brolly would’ve been silly.’
‘Where are you going?’ he asked.
‘Only to the bus stop in Queen Street. But I’ll be soaking by the time I get there.’
‘When does your bus go?’
‘In five minutes,’ she said in a whining tone. ‘And it’s the last one today.’
She seemed to live out in the sticks. It was astonishing how quickly the countryside swallowed you up outside the town boundaries. Without much of a transition, you were suddenly in the middle of nowhere, among settlements of just a few scattered farms, which were barely served by public transport. The last bus just before six! Young people there must feel that they were still in the Stone Age.
If she had been young and pretty, he would not have hesitated an instant to offer her a lift home. He would have asked if she would like to go for a drink with him first, somewhere down in the harbour with its many pubs. He was not meeting someone until later in the evening and it was nothing important. He had no great wish to sit around bored until then in his lodger’s room in a house at the end of the road.
Yet there was nothing enticing about the idea of sitting over a glass of wine in a pub and looking all evening at the colourless face of this elderly girl – for that was the impression you got: she was an elderly girl.
TV would probably be more entertaining. Yet he hesitated to just leave her and sprint across the schoolyard and up the road. She looked so … abandoned.
‘Where do you live?’
‘In Staintondale,’ she said.
He rolled his eyes. He knew Staintondale, oh God! A main road, a church, a post office where you could also buy the most basic foodstuffs and a couple of papers. A few houses. A red phone box, which was also the bus stop. And farms, which looked as if they had been thrown into the surrounding countryside.
‘You’ve no doubt also got a little walk from the bus stop in Staintondale,’ he guessed.
She nodded unhappily. ‘Almost half an hour, yes.’
He had not only made the mistake of talking to her. He had the impression that she had noticed his disappointment, and something told him that it was a painfully familiar occurrence for her. It might have been the case that she had awakened a man’s interest often, only for it to immediately extinguish when the man actually approached her. Perhaps she guessed that he would have offered to help, if only she had been a little more interesting, and now she assumed with some certainty that nothing would come of it.
‘You know what,’ he said quickly, before his selfishness and laziness got the better of his sudden generosity, ‘my car is just down the road. If you’d like, I can drive you home quickly.’
She stared at him in disbelief. ‘But … it’s quite a trip … Staintondale’s—’
‘I know the place,’ he interrupted. ‘But I don’t have any plans for the next few hours, and there are worse things than a drive in the country.’
‘In this weather …’ she put in doubtfully.
He smiled. ‘I would advise you to accept my offer. First, you probably won’t catch your bus now anyway. Second, even if you do, you’ll have a nasty cold tomorrow or the day after. So?’
She hesitated, and he could sense her mistrust. She was asking herself what his motives were. He knew that he was good-looking and a success with women, and she was probably realistic enough to realise that a man like him could not really be attracted to a woman like her. She probably had him down either as a sex offender wanting to lure her into his car because he took whatever he could get, or as a man overcome by pity. Neither alternative was appealing.
‘Dave Tanner,’ he said, holding out his hand. She shook it hesitantly. Her hand felt warm and soft.
‘Gwendolyn Beckett,’ she said.
He smiled. ‘So, Mrs Beckett, I—’
‘Miss,’ she corrected him quickly. ‘Miss Beckett.’
‘OK, Miss Beckett.’ He glanced at his wristwatch. ‘Your bus goes in one minute. I think that decides that then. Are you ready for a sprint, across the playground and a few yards down the road?’
She nodded, surprised by the realisation that she didn’t really have any choice but to clutch at the straw which he was offering her.
‘Hold your bag over your head,’ he advised her. ‘That will shelter you a bit.’
She dashed after him across the playground awash with puddles. Along the wrought-iron fence surrounding the premises, tall trees bent under the pouring rain. On the left the enormous Market Hall appeared, a building with catacomb-like underground passageways and vaults. In its galleries and shops you could buy mountains of kitsch, and even a little art. To the right was a little residential street lined with narrow red-brick terraced houses, each with a gloss-white door.
‘Down here,’ he said, and they ran past the houses until they reached the small, blue, rather rusty Fiat parked on the left-hand side of the street. He unlocked the car, and they tumbled onto the front seats with relieved sighs.
Water was streaming off Gwendolyn’s hair, and her dress stuck to her body like a wet cloth. Those few yards had been enough to soak her through. Dave tried to ignore his wet feet.
‘I’m an idiot,’ he said. ‘I should have fetched the car and picked you up at the school. Then you’d be more or less dry still.’
‘Oh please!’ Finally she laughed. She had nice teeth, he noticed. ‘I’m not made of sugar. And it’s definitely better to be driven to my door than to jolt about on a bus ride and then have a good little trek awaiting me at the end. Thank you.’
‘Not at all,’ he said. He was trying for a third time to start his car, and finally got it going. The motor wheezed to life, the car jumped forward. In two jumps it was in the street, spluttering as it drove off.
‘It’ll be all right,’ he said. ‘The car just needs to warm up. If I get through the winter with this old heap of junk I’ll count myself lucky.’
The motor was now starting to hum more regularly. It was fine for now: the car would make it to Staintondale and back.
‘What would you have done if you hadn’t caught the bus or met me?’ he asked. Not that Miss Beckett particularly interested him, but they would be sitting next to each other in the car for half an hour and he did not want the situation to descend into an awkward silence.
‘I would have phoned my father,’ said Gwendolyn.
He threw her a quick glance. The sound of her voice had altered as she spoke of her father. It had become warmer, less distanced.
‘You live with your father?’
‘Yes.’
‘And your mother …?’
‘My mother died young,’ said Gwendolyn in a tone that revealed that she did not want to talk about it.
A daddy’s girl, he thought, who can’t break free. At least mid-thirties, and Daddy is still the Only One for her. The Greatest. The Best. No man is his equal.
He supposed she did everything, consciously or unconsciously, to be Daddy’s dream daughter. With her thick blond plait and her old-fashioned flowery dress she was just like the women from Daddy’s youth, which would have been in the fifties or early sixties. She wanted to please him, and probably he was not keen on mini-skirts, conspicuous make-up or short hair. The signals she gave out were completely asexual.
Well, she hardly wants her old man in her bed, he thought.
He was very attuned to people’s moods and could sense that she was wracking her brains for a way to change the topic, so he helped her out.
‘By the way, I teach at Friarage School,’ he said. ‘But not the kids. The school lets its rooms be used in the evenings and some afternoons for adult education. I teach French and Spanish, and that just about keeps the wolf from the door.’
‘Do you speak those languages well?’
‘As a child I lived in Spain and France for a long time. My father was a diplomat.’ He knew that his voice did not show any warmth when he mentioned his father. Instead he had to take care not to show too much hate. ‘But let me tell you, it’s no fun to have to teach a group of totally untalented housewives a language whose sound and expressiveness you love, and whose complete mangling you have to bear three or four evenings a week.’
He laughed in embarrassment as he realised he might have committed a faux pas. ‘I’m sorry. You might be taking one of the language courses. Have I just offended you? There are three other language teachers giving classes.’
She shook her head. Although the wall of rain outside meant that it was rather dark in the car, he could see that she was blushing.
‘No,’ she said, ‘I’m not taking part in a language course. I …’
She was not looking at him, but was staring out of the window. They had reached the road that led north out of Scarborough. Supermarkets and rows of terraced houses flew past outside, garages and dismal pubs, a mobile-home park, which looked like it was sinking in the floods.
‘I’d read in the paper,’ she said quietly, ‘that in Friarage School … Well, on Wednesday afternoons there’s a course, which … for the next three months …’ She hesitated.
In a flash he understood what she was talking about. He did not understand why it had not been clear to him at once. After all, he taught there. He knew about the new course. Wednesdays. From half-three to half-five. Starting today. And Gwendolyn Beckett was just the kind of person who would attend.
‘Oh, I know,’ he said, and made an effort to sound casual about it. As if it were the most normal thing in the world to attend a course for … yes, for whom? Failures? Dead losses? Losers? ‘Isn’t it a kind of … assertiveness training?’
Now he could not see her face at all. She had turned to the window. He guessed that she had gone bright red.
‘Yes,’ she answered quietly. ‘That’s it. You’re supposed to learn to conquer your shyness. To approach other people. To control your … fears.’ Now she turned towards him. ‘That must sound like a load of rubbish to you.’
‘Not at all,’ he assured her. ‘When you think you have a weakness, you have to face it. That makes a lot more sense than just sitting around and not doing anything but complaining. Don’t worry. Just try to make the most of the course.’
‘Yes,’ she said, sounding despondent. ‘I will. You know … it’s not as if I was particularly happy with my life.’
She turned to the window again, and he did not dare enquire further.
Neither said anything.
The rain eased up a little.
As they turned off in the middle of Cloughton towards Staintondale, a gap appeared in the clouds and the evening sun burst through.
He suddenly had a tingling of excitement; a certain alertness. It was a feeling that something new was about to happen to him. It might have to do with this woman sitting next to him.
It could also be something else entirely.
He told himself to stay calm. And to be cautious.
He could not afford to make too many more mistakes in his life.
2
Amy Mills needed the money that her job as a babysitter brought in. That was the only reason she did it. But she had to pay for her studies more or less on her own, so she could not be picky. Not that it was unpleasant to spend her evenings in someone else’s living room, reading a book or watching the telly, just keeping watch over a sleeping child whose parents were out. But it meant she got home late, and she hated the trip home in the dark. At least in the autumn and winter. In the summer the evenings were light until late, and often the streets of Scarborough were full of overseas students coming to the East Yorkshire coast for summer English courses.
This evening was different. The storm and the afternoon’s heavy rain had driven everyone inside and cleared the streets. What was more, after a very hot day it had cooled considerably. It was unpleasant and windy.
No one will be out, thought Amy uneasily.
On Wednesdays she was always at Mrs Gardner’s place, taking care of her four-year-old daughter Liliana. Mrs Gardner was a single mum, supporting herself and her daughter with a number of jobs, and on Wednesday evenings she taught French in the Friarage School. The class finished at nine, but then she always went out for a drink with her students.
‘Otherwise I’d never get out,’ she said to Amy, ‘and at least once a week I’d like to have some fun. Is it all right by you if I’m back by ten?’
The problem was it was never ten when she finally got in. Half-ten if Amy was lucky, a quarter to eleven more likely. Mrs Gardner apologised profusely each time.
‘I have no idea where the time went! By ‘eck, once we start chattin’ …’
Actually Amy would have liked to ditch this job, but it was her only more or less stable work. She looked after the children of other families too, but only irregularly. She could rely on the Wednesday money, and in her situation that was priceless. If only she did not have that trip home …
I’m such a coward, she often said to herself, but that did not do anything to lessen her fear.
Mrs Gardner had no car in which to drive her babysitter home quickly, and she was over the alcohol limit in any case. She had drunk a fair few this Wednesday and it was later than ever before – twenty past eleven!
‘We said ten o’clock,’ said Amy in annoyance as she packed up her books. She had spent the evening studying.
At least Mrs Gardner showed a rueful face. ‘I know. I’m terrible. But there’s a new lady in our class and she bought us a couple of rounds. She had a right few stories to tell. By time I thought ‘bout leavin’ – it were already so late!’
She handed Amy the money and was decent enough to give her an extra five pounds. ‘Here. Because you really had t’ do overtime today … Everythin’ OK with Liliana?’
‘She’s asleep. She didn’t wake up once.’ Amy said goodbye to tipsy Mrs Gardner and left. On the street she hunched her shoulders against the cold.
Almost like autumn, she thought, but it’s just mid July.
Thankfully it had not been raining for a few hours. The way home took her along the street, part of the way down St Nicholas Cliff, past the rather dilapidated Grand Hotel and then over the long iron bridge which connected the centre of town to South Cliff and went over a main road that was busy during the day. At this late hour, however, the road down there was deserted, although it was still bright under the blazing street lamps. The silent sleeping town was creepy, but Amy still had her fear under control. The stretch through the park would be worse. Down to her left was the sea and the beach, high up above were the first South Cliff houses. In between were the Esplanade Gardens, which snaked upwards along terraces. They were densely planted with bushes and trees and a multitude of little paths cut through them. The shortest way through it was up the steep steps that led directly to the Esplanade, the wide road on whose western side the hotels stood, one beside the next. This was Amy’s way home, and the dark steps were the tricky stretch. As soon as she reached the Esplanade, she would feel better. Then she had to go a good little bit further up the road and just after the Highlander Hotel she would turn into Albion Road. An aunt of hers owned a narrow terraced house here and had given Amy a place to stay while she studied. The aunt was old and lonely and happy to have company, and Amy’s parents weren’t well off and found the offer of a free place to live very welcome. Furthermore, from there she could easily walk to the campus. She was glad that some things had turned out better than she might have expected. Where she came from, a working-class estate in Leeds, no one would have believed that Amy would make it to university. But she was intelligent and hard working, and for all her extreme shyness and her fearfulness, she was determined. She had passed all her exams with good marks until now.
She was in the middle of the bridge when she stopped and looked back. Not that she had heard something, but every time she got about this far she had the almost automatic reaction, before she plunged on into the creepily empty Esplanade Gardens, to check if everything was all right – without being exactly clear what she meant by all right.
A man was walking down St Nicholas Cliff. Tall, slim, taking quick steps. She could not see what sort of clothes he was wearing. Only a few more yards and he would have reached the bridge, towards which he was obviously heading.
There was no one else to see, near or far.
With one hand Amy held on tight to her bag of books, with the other hand to her front door key, which she had dug out of her bag at Mrs Gardner’s house. She had got into the habit of holding it at the ready on her way home. Of course that was all part of her fearfulness. Her aunt forgot to turn the outside light on every night. Amy hated standing there rummaging around in her bag for the key, as blind as a mole. There were ten-foot-high lilac bushes to the right and left, and her aunt – with the typically unreasonable stubbornness of old age – refused to have them pruned. Amy wanted to get into the house as fast as possible. To be in a safe place.
Safe from what?
She was too easily frightened. She knew that. It just wasn’t normal to see ghosts everywhere, burglars, murderers and perverts behind every corner. She guessed it had to do with her upbringing – as the sheltered, mollycoddled only child of her straightforward parents. Don’t do this, don’t do that, this could happen, that could happen … She had heard things like that all her life. She had not been allowed to do a lot of what her classmates did, because her mother was afraid that something could go wrong. Amy had not rebelled against the bans; she had soon shared her mother’s fears and was glad to have a reason she could give her schoolfriends:
I’m not allowed …
The long and the short of it was that she did not have many friends now.
She turned round once more. The stranger had reached the bridge. Amy walked on. She walked a little faster than before. It was not only fear of the man that made her hurry. It was also the fear of her own thoughts.
Loneliness.
The other students at Scarborough Campus, an offshoot of the University of Hull, lived in halls of residence for their first year of study, then they formed little groups to rent out the inexpensive houses that belonged to the university. Amy had always tried to convince herself that it was natural and sensible for her to creep under her aunt’s wing, because no rent was naturally better than low rent, and she would have been stupid to decide otherwise. The bitter truth was that she had no clique to go in with. No one had ever asked her if she would like to share this or that flat with this or that group. Without the old aunt’s empty guest-room things would have looked bleak, and not only from the financial point of view. But Amy did not want to think about that.
From the end of the bridge it was only a few more steps to the park. As usual, Amy turned right, towards the steps. There was a new building in the bend; it was in the last stages of construction. It was not clear whether it would be residential or used by Scarborough council for some other purpose.
Amy walked quickly past it and then stopped short. Two of the tall metal mesh fences that surrounded the house were now blocking the steps and the nearby meandering path, which would normally have offered an alternative. The usual entrance was barred. You could squeeze through sideways, but Amy dithered. That afternoon, when she walked to the pedestrian precinct in the stifling heat to run an errand or two before she started babysitting for Mrs Gardner, the way had still been open. In the meantime there had been a violent storm and an almost apocalyptic flood of rain. Possibly the steps and the meandering path had been damaged. The earthworks and gravel had been washed away. It might be dangerous to take either route up.
Added to that, it was obviously prohibited.
Amy was not the kind of girl to just ignore a law. She had always been taught to obey the authorities, whether she understood their rules or not. They had their reasons; that was enough. In this case she was even able to understand the reason.
Undecidedly, she turned around.
There were other paths that led up into the labyrinthine Esplanade Gardens, but none of them led quickly and directly up to the road and to where people lived. The lowest path led in the opposite direction: down to the beach and the Spa Complex, a collection of Victorian buildings right by the sea, which the town used for all kinds of cultural events. At night, however, they were completely closed off, and not even a nightwatchman was around. Running up the cliff behind the Spa Complex there was a funicular railway, mainly to transport elderly ladies and gentlemen who were no longer willing to struggle up the steep gardens cut out of the rock. But about half an hour before midnight the cars stopped, and now there was no longer anyone on duty in the ticket office. Of course you could also go up on foot, but it was a long and difficult climb. The advantage of this lower path, though, was that it was lit. Large curving lamps, also modelled on the Victorian style, gave off a warm orange light.
There was also a middle way – the narrowest of all three. For a good stretch, halfway up the steep slope, it ran almost alongside the drop before starting to rise so gently that even walkers who were not in the peak of physical fitness were able to proceed with some degree of ease. Amy knew that this path came out right in front of the Crown Spa Hotel on the Esplanade. She would get to the top more quickly if she took the middle way than if she went along the beach, but the disadvantage was that there were no street lamps there. The path lost itself between bushes and trees in blackest darkness.
She took a few steps back, and looked towards the bridge. The man had almost crossed it now. Was she imagining things, or was he really walking more slowly than he had before? More hesitantly? What was he doing here at this time of night?
Keep calm, Mills, you’re here at this time of night too, she said to herself, although it did not make her heart beat any little bit less fast.
He could be on his way home, just like you!
But tell me, who was just going home now? It was twenty to twelve. Not the time when people normally return home from work, unless they were babysitting for an inconsiderate mum who always came in too late.
I’m going to quit. I can’t put up with it any more. Not for any amount of money, she resolved.
She weighed up her options. None of them seemed particularly promising. She could walk back across the bridge to St Nicholas Cliff and then take the long Filey Road up through town – but that would take ages. Then there was always the bus, but she had no idea if her bus was still running this late at night. And a few weeks ago she had used the bus one day when the weather was bad, and she had been picked on at the bus stop by some drunken, pierced youths with shaved heads. She had been scared to death and had sworn that in future she would rather be soaked to the bone and risk a cold than find herself in such a situation once again. Fear – yet again. Fear of walking through the dark park. Fear of waiting at the bus stop. Fear, fear, fear.
She was in charge of her life and it could not go on like this. She could no longer let herself stumble from one crisis to the next, trying to avoid one fear and so inevitably raising another. And in the end standing paralysed in a cool, rainy July night, listening to her own panting breath, feeling her heart pound like a fast and heavy hammer, and asking herself which of her fears was the least worst. In the end it was the infamous choice between the devil and the deep blue sea, and that felt terrible.
The man was now on a level with her. He stopped and looked at her.
He seemed to be waiting for something, maybe for what she would say or do, and as Amy was a girl who had been taught to meet people’s expectations, she opened her mouth.
‘The … path is closed,’ she said. Her voice croaked a little, and she cleared her throat. ‘The fencing … blocking the path.’
He gave a brief nod, turned away and took the path towards the beach. The lit path.
Amy breathed a sigh of relief. Harmless, it had been completely harmless. He wanted to go home, normally he would no doubt have taken the steps. Now he would probably walk to the Spa Complex and then up from there, and curse inwardly that the journey home took longer than expected. His wife was waiting at home. She would have a go at him. It had got late in the pub with his friends, and now this detour. Not his day. Sometimes everything happened at once.
She giggled, but noticed how nervous she sounded. She had a tendency to dream up the details of the lives of people completely unknown to her. Probably because she was on her own too much. When you did not communicate enough with people of flesh and blood you had to dwell in your own imagination.
One more glance back at the bridge. No one to see there.
The stranger had disappeared towards the beach. The steps were closed off. Amy did not dither any longer. She took the middle path, the unlit one. The little bit of moonlight that trickled through the long veils of cloud was enough to let her guess where the path at her feet led. She would come up at the Esplanade without breaking any bones.
The closely planted bushes, whose full summer foliage was heavy with raindrops, swallowed her up within seconds.
Amy Mills disappeared into the darkness.
OCTOBER 2008
Thursday, 9th October
1
When the phone in Fiona Barnes’s living room rang, the old lady jumped. She left the window, where she had been standing and gazing out over Scarborough Bay, and walked over to the side table the phone stood on, unsure whether or not to lift up the receiver. She had received an anonymous call that morning, and the morning before, and last week too there had been two of these harassing calls. She was not even sure if what was happening could be called anonymous calls, as no one said anything on the other end of the line; all she could hear was breathing. If she did not slam the receiver down on its cradle in annoyance, as she had done that morning, then the unknown person always hung up after about a minute of silence.
Fiona was not easily scared, she was proud of her cool head and that she held her nerve. Yet these events disturbed and unsettled her. She would have preferred to just let the phone ring and ring without answering, but then of course she would miss calls that were important or that meant something to her. From her granddaughter Leslie Cramer, for example, who lived in London and was just going through the trauma of a divorce. Leslie no longer had any relatives except for her old grandmother in Scarborough, and Fiona wanted to be there for her now in particular.
So she picked up after the fifth ring.
‘Fiona Barnes,’ she said. She had a scratchy, rough voice from a life of chain-smoking.
Silence on the other end of the line.
Fiona sighed. She should get a new phone, one with caller display. At least then she could see when Leslie was calling and leave the rest.
‘Who is it?’ she asked.
Silence. Breathing.
‘You are starting to get on my nerves,’ said Fiona. ‘You obviously have some problem with me. Perhaps we should talk about it. Your strange approach is not going to get us any further, I fear.’
The breathing became heavier. If she had been younger, Fiona might have thought it possible that she had caught the eye of someone who was now satisfying a primal urge as he listened to her voice on the phone. But as she had turned seventy-nine in July that seemed rather unlikely. Nor did the breathing seem to suggest a sexual stimulation. The caller seemed excited in a different way. Stressed. Aggressive. In extreme turmoil.
It was not about sex. What was it about then?
‘I’m hanging up,’ Fiona said, but before she could make good on her threat, the other person had already interrupted the call. Fiona could only hear the monotonous beeping of the phone.
‘I should go to the police!’ she said angrily, slamming down the phone and immediately lighting a cigarette. But she was afraid that the police would fob her off with excuses. She had not been verbally abused, showered in obscenities or threatened. Of course everyone would understand that repeated silences on the phone can also be considered a threat, but there were no clues as to who the caller might be. This case was so extremely vague that the police would not try to trace the calls. In any case, no doubt the caller was clever enough to use only public payphones and not to use the same one each time. People today had gained experience from detective series on TV. They knew how to do things and which mistakes to avoid.
What was more …
She stepped over to the window again. Outside it was a wonderful, sun-drenched October day, windy and clear-skied, and Scarborough Bay lay there, flooded with a golden light. The deep azure-blue sea was rough. The waves had shining white crests. Seeing this view, anyone would have been in transports of delight. Not Fiona at this moment. She did not even notice what was in front of her window.
She knew why she was not going to the police. She knew why she had not told anyone yet, not even Leslie, about the strange calls. And why, for all her worrying, she kept the whole story to herself.
The logical question of anyone hearing about it would be: ‘But is there someone who might have something against you? Someone who you could imagine might be involved in these calls?’
If she was honest, she would have to say ‘yes’ to this question, which would inevitably lead to further questions. And required explanations from her. Everything would come to the surface again. The whole of the horrific story. All the things she wanted to forget. The things that Leslie, more than anyone else, should not hear about.
If however she played dumb, claimed that she did not know anyone who could have something against her, who would torment her like this, then there was also no point in telling anyone about it.
She took a deep drag on her cigarette. The only person to whom she could open herself was Chad. Because he knew in any case. Maybe she should talk to him. It would also be a good idea for him to delete the emails she had sent him. The attached files in particular. It had been careless of her to send them via the internet. She had thought she could risk it because it was all over so long ago. Because it was all so far behind her, behind both of them.
Maybe she had been mistaken about that.
Perhaps she should also remove the extensive material on her computer. It would not be easy for her, but it was probably better like that. After all, writing it all down had just been a hare-brained idea of hers in the first place. What had she hoped to achieve? Some relief? To clear her conscience? No, it seemed instead as if she had hoped to work something out, for herself and Chad. Perhaps she had hoped to get to know herself better. But it had not helped. She did not understand herself any better than before. Nothing had changed. You could not change your own life by analysing it afterwards, by trying to find a form for it that would relativise events. Mistakes were still mistakes, sins still sins. You had to live with them; you would die with them.
She stubbed out her cigarette butt in a flowerpot and went into her study, to boot up her computer.
2
The last viewer was the worst. He had not stopped complaining once. The parquetry floor was worn, the door handles looked cheap, the windows were not double-glazed, the rooms were awkward shapes and badly planned, the kitchen was not modern, the view of the little park behind the house was charmless.
‘Not exactly a bargain,’ he said angrily before he left, and Leslie had to force herself not to bang the door shut behind him. It would have done her good, but the lock was not in the best of conditions -like so much else in the house, to be frank – and the violent action might have been too much for it.
‘Lousy bastard,’ she said from the depths of her heart. Then she went into the kitchen, lit a cigarette and turned the coffee machine on. An espresso was just what she needed now. She looked out of the window at the rainy day. Of course the park did not look especially appealing in this grey drizzle, but this tree-covered patch in the middle of London was the reason why Stephen and she had fallen in love with the flat ten years ago. Yes, the kitchen was old-fashioned, the floors creaked, many things were a little shabby, but the flat had charm and character, and she asked herself how anyone could not see that. Swanky so-and-so. But they had all complained. The old lady who was the second person to look around had complained the least. Perhaps she would take over the tenancy … Time was short. Leslie was moving at the end of October. If she did not find anyone by then to take over her current tenancy agreement she would have to pay double, and she would not be able to afford that for very long.
Keep your nerve, she told herself.
When the phone rang, she was about to ignore it, but then she reconsidered. It could be another viewer. She went to the hall and picked up.
‘Cramer,’ she answered. She found it more and more difficult to say her married name. I should use my old name again, she thought.
A shy quiet voice on the other end of the line said, ‘Leslie? It’s Gwen here. Gwen from Staintondale!’
‘Gwen from Staintondale!’ said Leslie. She had certainly not expected a call from Gwen, her childhood friend. It was a pleasant surprise. She had not heard from her in ages. It might have been a year since they had seen each other, and at Christmas they had only spoken briefly on the phone, not much more than the usual best wishes for the new year.
‘How are you?’ asked Gwen. ‘Is everything all right? I phoned the hospital first, but they said you had taken holiday leave.’
‘Yes, I have. For three whole weeks. I have to find someone to rent out the flat, and get ready for the move, and … oh yes, and I had to get divorced. Since Monday I’m on the market again!’ She listened to her own voice. She certainly did not feel as comfortable about it as she sounded. It was astonishingly painful. Even now.
‘Oh, my goodness,’ said Gwen in dismay. ‘That … I mean, we all saw it coming, but somehow there’s always a hope … How do you feel?’
‘Well, we’ve been separated two years now. So nothing has really changed. But it’s still a turning point in my life, so I’ve rented a new flat. This one is too big in the long-term, and anyway … somehow it has too much to do with Stephen.’
‘I can understand that,’ said Gwen. She sounded a little uncomfortable when she spoke again. ‘I … I feel completely tactless now, but … I really didn’t know that you had just got divorced, otherwise … I mean, I wouldn’t have …’
‘I’m fine. Really. So don’t beat around the bush. Why are you calling?’
‘Because … now, I hope you won’t be offended, but … you should be one of the first people to hear: I’m going to get married!’
Leslie really did not know what to say for a moment.
‘Married?’ she then echoed, thinking that the amazement in her voice must hurt Gwen, but she simply had not managed to conceal her surprise. Gwen was an old maid if anyone was: an old-fashioned girl living in isolation in the countryside … Gwen, for whom time seemed to have stood still, to have stopped in a past century where a young lady would wait at home until a gentleman rode up on his horse and asked for her hand … Marry? Just like that?
‘Sorry,’ she said quickly. ‘It’s just – I always thought you weren’t all that keen on marriage.’
That was a lie. She knew that Gwen had pined for the stories which she devoured in romance novels to become true in her own life.
‘I’m so happy,’ said Gwen. ‘So unbelievably happy … I mean, I had just about given up hope of still finding