Acceptance
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Acceptance - Lea The Healer
If we are defined by our actions, then the first question for me to ask is what had I done to become a healer? Although I have been instructed by several theologians not to question my gift; I seem to wonder what action it took for me to become blessed with the gift of healing. Now that the question has been ‘put out there’ I guess I should start at the beginning.
Imagine waking up into another world. Only you weren’t really asleep, a world like no other you had ever imagined. A world where all illness and pain could be treated and eased, if not healed within minutes; and while you have entered this divinely protected world, you are permitted to allow others to follow you. A world where there is no judgment, only belief, peace, warmth, faith, and hope.
I have to admit that your entire mentality, and your entire psyche changes; when you feel so blessed and humbled, because you have been chosen, chosen by God. You are just not sure why, you just know you have been chosen.
This may seem awfully simple to those in the know, however to someone like me who had no prior knowledge that this side of the spectrum existed it is still to date, overwhelming to me. I find it astonishing that my entire world could change just like that, no warning no preparation, no hint of change to come.
Before I became a healer I used to paint things. Restore things. I always said I was bringing the true energy, the soul of that item back to life. I would look at an item and it would show me what it wanted to be, what color it wanted to be, and what function it wanted to serve. How it wanted to be restored; healed. Even if I was not painting for me, it would still show me what it wanted to be for the prospective individual who would own it someday. It is this talent which has taught me that we all live in our own reality, our own existence, our own perception, of what our truth is. It has helped me in becoming a much more understanding and accomplished healer; and has enabled me to understand others’ reality, others’ existence (more about this topic at a later time) and the interpretation of their truth.
It has taught me that our perception, our truth, is completely intertwined, with our perception of reality; our understanding of our own world may therefore be completely unacceptable to another. As one person’s reality, may simply be one’s own denial of one’s personal existence.
In order to heal, the healer must be confident in himself, in his own skin so to speak. Healed and content and satisfied within. No doubts, no fears. As these negative emotions would interfere with the ability to heal; I know that sounds unrealistic as the healer is a mere mortal, and would therefore have all these emotions and uncertainties in his life. However, if you carry your worries, your life, your problems, you will not succeed. If you are carrying your children’s scraped knee, your husband’s misunderstanding, or your next door neighbor’s barking dog with you. Stay home, as you will not succeed in helping anyone on the day.
It also applies to the comfort of your surroundings. If you are not comfortable in your surroundings, you will not heal successfully. Blockage must not be surrounding you. So if the location you are working from is uncomfortable to you, don’t work there. It may end up being detrimental to you and your client. You must be completely focused. No candles, no music, nothing in which could interfere with your ability to focus on the situation at hand. Anything which interferes with the process will only weaken the outcome for both you and the client.
I have told this story many a time. However, I would have to assume that you too would be interested in how I became a healer, and how I discovered I was one.
So I am sitting in a chair around my dining room table preparing for deep breaths. Something I have had to deal with the majority of my life. I had suffered from severe abdominal pain, and no doctor could ever figure out why. The pain would be so excruciating it would bring me to a complete stop. The only way to stop the pain would be to take deep breaths.
This one particular day, I was sitting in my chair and before I could take my first breath, someone who could not be seen had taken hold of my wrists, and ran my hands over my stomach. The pain stopped immediately and has never returned. Of course after a few seconds, and once I had realized what I had just done, I contacted my doctor and made an appointment. Upon telling my doctor of my ordeal, and assuming that I now would be dealing with some sort of psychological problem, or worst, something neurological or biological. I asked to have a psychological and neurological examination. Long story short, I was given the all clear.
Relieved and petrified, I started to search for others like me. I guess human nature teaches us to seek out support groups when you have no clue what the next step should be.
I sought out so called specialists in the field. I contacted Priests, Rabbis, Buddhists Monks and Theologians; I also sought out the advisement of individuals who claimed they could help and guide me in the right direction. I was invited to ‘experts’ homes’ who claimed to be healers. But to my disappointment found that these healers interpretation of what healing should be was different to mine. I confided in an individual who ran an alternative facility with natural healing, and had hoped to be guided there, and again unfortunately received an e-mail at a later date advising me that one of her staff had miraculously received a gift of healing as well. This was someone I had confided all my hopes and fears to. Needless to say I was extremely disappointed, and decided to commence my research on my own.
I kept asking myself had I always been a healer and didn’t know it? Was I born this way, or was it the sum of my life experience which shaped me, and led me, or molded me, to one day wake up and be who I am today?
Having found this new side of my life I sought out the advice of a psychic who came highly recommended. I thought if I was to dabble in this alternative world I should see someone who specialized in it.
I met the psychic, and one of the first things she told me was that I was going to help many people with my hands. I remember my mouth opened and almost hit the floor.
I tried to convince myself she had the ability to read minds, otherwise, how could she possibly know this? I listened to her for over an hour, and said nothing. For those of you who know me that in itself is a rarity.
I started experimenting on family members, from colds to severe pain, and little by little started to learn how to apply my healing ability to individuals. Everyone was different, and everyone required a different approach. I had then realized that healing had a lot to do with mind control. You either prayed or manifested a specific formula for the ailment you were currently treating. I knew I could send healing to individuals but had no idea how. I was on the phone with my Mom one day, and she was in pain. I tried sending her ‘energy’ via the phone by concentrating on the phone. Unfortunately it didn’t work. So I tried something else. I sent my thoughts into the air, into the universe and within seconds I heard her say oh my God the pain is gone.
That was my first lesson in sending energy. And I said really Mom or are you just trying to make me feel less crazy then I am feeling right now?
She swore to me, that her pain had vanished.
The Theologians I had spoken with had suggested I do no reading or acquire knowledge or information from others. As the gift I had possessed was a gift from God, and I should rely on the gift for further education. No one told me how I was to obtain this knowledge, how to ask for information, and how to further my ability to heal. It would be detrimental to my ability and my confidence level I was told; therefore the less I had to compare my gift to, the safer it would be for me. I am not built that way and throughout my life have always sought the whys and hows to everything. This was not going to be easy or natural for someone like me.
So, whether you believe in the grand scheme of things, a plan, or whether you believe we all create our lives consciously or otherwise, the point is, I became a healer; and I truly believe that there is some sort of greater plan for something. It may be an unknown to me at present, but as I develop as a healer, so shall the rest of my life.
When I first discovered and accepted my gift as a healer I was given 3 months to make a decision. Do you want to dedicate your life to healing or do you decline?
Believe me I pondered and wondered if I was to accept this gift was it because I was lacking in other areas of my life? Or was I accepting this gift out of sheer selfishness, because I feel good, I feel real, when I can help others? Or was I accepting this Divine gift because I feel extremely honored, to have been chosen to be a healer? You would be surprised what goes on in your mind when you know you have an amazing gift and all you keep worrying about is possibly failing to heal someone. You wonder have you failed as a healer, or has your client refused the healing, or is there a greater purpose? Do you learn from this experience for future clients, or do you persist in your attempt to heal this particular individual? And by doing so, are you truly attempting to help this individual, or is it the fear of failing which is pushing you to heal this particular individual? I later learned, that although everyone may be healed, it is a reciprocal process, and unless both parties; the healer and the client participate in it whole heartedly, this process will not work.
Getting the confidence to know who I am, believing in myself, my abilities, my gift, allowed me to ponder and analyze even further; had I developed this gift because I was afraid of life, my life, my past, my future? You can’t stop in your attempt to analyze and assess the why me syndrome, what if and so forth. If I thought I had psychological problems when this all started. At what point am I in now, that I have accepted my gift? Having the confidence, and the ability, to have helped as many people as I have? I would have to answer all those questions with one word, Faith; that is all that is needed.
What is healing? Not repairing a broken leg or arm, healing a headache, or repairing lower back pain. Healing is the repair of your soul, repairing your psyche, your interpretation of why you broke your arm, or why you have a headache. Energy resonates all around us; whether you are touching, breathing, feeling, sleeping, moving or thinking you are producing some form of energy, and or coming in contact with some form of energy.
I was told everyone had the ability to heal, but didn’t know how. Perhaps that statement is true, perhaps back when we were theoretically approached by aliens thousands of years ago, who supposedly interacted with us back then, and modified our genetic chemistry, to make us more like them; perhaps when they were transforming us into the beings we are today, they gave us the capabilities, the capacity, to heal and do all sort of things. And perhaps during our evolution, during our struggle to survive, to grow, to learn, we have left behind all we were taught by these beings in order to go on with our daily lives. And perhaps something in our life must change in order to awaken, or trigger our capabilities, no matter what they may be. This is all pending you actually believe in this mumbo jumbo…
I have been asked since my newly found capability if I had experienced anything like a trauma, a shock, an accident, or anything unusual before I became a healer. And my answer is always no. Evidently, trauma changes or manipulates your brain, your personality, theoretically at least, and can create a completely different being. I have a very hard time believing that the transformation is as simplistic as that. I suppose just as difficult as it would be for someone who has studied and has learned about the field of healing, and wonders why I received the gift, when he had studied it for years and wished he had the gift. I have been approached by alternative medicine practitioners, asking me to teach them how it is I heal. What I feel when I heal. I would love to be able to teach how it is I heal; sadly I don’t believe my gift can be taught. I could teach how to manipulate your mind and to interact with the energy surrounding, how I interpret or assess what each person needs in order to heal, and what method to use. However, if the healing technique I use would work for someone else is still an unknown to me.
Sadly, I have learned that what makes a good healer is pain, abuse and lose. I often pondered why I became a healer, and everyone I asked, kept telling me not to question my gift, but to embrace it as it truly was a gift from God. So I soon realized that possibly in order to heal others I must first heal myself. We are our own greatest healers. We are the only ones who can heal ourselves, by simply allowing ourselves to heal. Unfortunately due to circumstances sometimes beyond our control, we need help. Healing is all in our minds. Sometimes we bring on illness because we feel that we deserve it (subconsciously).
This is where the healer comes in and is hopefully able to help you heal yourself.
I have often wondered if we have a certain amount of tears to cry before life becomes tearless and happy. How much punishment and heart ache one must endure before life becomes full of hope and happiness? How much despair and grief we must suffer before we become compassionate and understanding? I ask all these questions because I have recently been told over and over and over again how generous and giving I am. And why my inability to accept in return was detrimental to my future as a healer. Although it is part of my personality, to give, more so than to receive; evidently not having some form of energy exchange was detrimental to the healing process. I find this hard to believe, because I have helped many individuals who were unable to pay me but said something as small as a thank you. And their healing was successful, and nothing detrimental happened to them or to me.
So I believe that as long as the energy exchange is a positive one, there does not need to be a monetary exchange. I also wonder if my life’s hardships were one of the reasons, the portal that my gift occurred. I know we all have our stories and personal journeys. The ones that shape our lives, the ones that make us who we are. So the question I have yet to ask, is my gift my penance for whatever terrible things I have done, in this life or past life? Or is this Gift from God simply that, A Gift?
Could healing be a form of redemption? Or could redemption be a form of healing? Do we agree to become healers as a way to repent, as a way of asking for forgiveness, for the past, for the future? Could redemption be a way to heal the soul? Do we indeed heal ourselves every time we assist in someone else’s healing?
If we as human beings all concentrated our love, energy and positive thoughts, and transmitted them into the planet, would our planet truly heal itself? And in return help heal us?
Finding God, finding peace, feeling the presence of God, is all part of becoming a healer. I know I have said this before, because through the years I have heard this from so many people who claim to know that everyone has the gift of healing. If this is truly the case why don’t we all heal? Why don’t we all believe in God? Why don’t we all make it our business to help each other?
I believe that once you have found and have felt the presence of God, you find everything else you have always searched for. Therefore, a gift of healing isn’t a one sided gift. Once you receive the gift of healing, you also get the opportunity to heal yourself. (I will have to talk more about this at a later stage) As long as you are open-minded, and open- hearted, God will take care of the rest.
Perhaps in order to find ourselves, our essence, we must first lose ourselves completely; meaning, that we never appreciate anything until it is gone. Therefore, when we get ill, we realize our lives have changed, lost in a sense and that ironically gives us the strength to try to find ourselves; our true purpose all over again. I really hope I have made myself understood. Sometimes I have the habit of rambling on without getting my point across.
If this is truly the case in the ‘real world’, then I must confess to having lost myself on many occasions. Only to discover a better version of myself, and finally, until the TRUE ME emerged; The Healer.
Even though I have been told to stop asking why and have asked this over and over again in this book, I must ask it again. I spoke to a lady I hold in high regard and someone I have much respect for. She is well versed in individuals like me and keeps telling me I am an anomaly; just what I needed to hear.
She had also stated that my being surrounded by a gold light energy basically meant that I had direct contact, a channel with the Divine. Which according to her basically meant that I don’t only have the ability to heal in this life, but had the ability to heal in previous lives; this whole conversation came about when I started to tell her about this doctor I met who was also a Shaman. When I met him he was engulfed in fire. Some people have auras, energy or whatever you want to call it. This doctor had fire. She explained to me that some shamans use their ‘healing abilities’ by drawing on their past life experience. So if this person was burnt at the stake in a previous life, then he is drawing his power from that experience. What does all this have to do with my healing you might ask? I think the point I was trying to make is that the ability to heal may come from all sorts of life experiences, present or previous and possibly future. No one knows for sure. The point is that healing can only work if the receiver is open-minded about the process, and the provider, the healer, can only use his healing ability to heal; only if that healing is part of the individual himself. I guess I need to explain this a little further. There are Healers who have learned how to heal in school. And healers who were chosen to become healers by God. It would have to be up to the receiver to assess and decide if he is to accept the healing from a taught healer or the healing from one who has received the gift from God.
Because there was no book for me to learn from, I had to learn step by step what I was to do, hand placement, thought process, environment, comfort and so forth. One of my first challenges was my inability to treat someone if they were wearing a metal watch, necklace, and even if they had on a wire bra. Things like artificial limb replacement also interfered with my ability to use my hands.
I was unable to run my hands over individuals like that because it would form a lightening effect. You could see the energy react with the metal and form a small lightening, which would ultimately hurt my hands. I therefore had to devise a block in my mind which prevented the lightening from affecting me.
I also wanted to find out why I sat in a specific position while sending a healing, or sending someone energy. The position being cross legged and my palms placed on my knees facing upwards. I could control the energy I was sending that way, as well as feel the energy of the individual I was sending energy to.
Somewhere deep inside of me I also knew I could help individuals’ long distance. But had no idea how, I remember being on the phone with my Mom trying to send my thoughts through the phone.
I had finally realized that sending energy elsewhere was much simpler then I had imagined. If you can think it, you can do it, became my new motto. All I had to do was concentrate on the individual, assess him or scan him in my mind, find the problem, and direct energy to that location. Scanning you may wonder is my way of x- raying my client. Certain areas light up as though they were light bulbs. This is your body’s way of directing me to the problem. And I believe your subconscious way of helping me help you;