The Tree House
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Max and Ada, ten-year-old neighbours, are engrossed in composing a book of spells in a tree house in Paris when the Nazis arrive to occupy the city. Max, the child of a rape and abandoned by his mother, is in foster care; Ada is Jewish.
Almost fifty years later Max, the black sheep of the family, summons his grandson to tell him the
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The Tree House - Glenn Haybittle
I
1 Who Will Look After My Things When I Die?
There was a mannequin standing at the centre of my grandfather’s overgrown garden, a life-size male with black hair and hopeful blue eyes. He was dressed in a black suit, a white shirt and black shoes. The elements and birds had reduced him and his clothes to a forlorn forsaken state. The fine black hair streaked with bird excrement, the cloth of the suit tattered and blanched where the weather had attacked it, the white shirt mapped by colour-quenched stains. Nearby, on the grass carpeted with clover, was a rusted bucket full to the brim with rainwater.
‘His expression never changes,’ my grandfather said. ‘No matter what he endures. I like that about him.’
‘I don’t get it,’ I said.
‘He’s there just in case Ada is looking down at me and my life. I imagine he would make her smile,’ he said and he smiled sheepishly at me, a smile that called to mind a small boy in short trousers with scabs on his knees rather than an adult who had reached retirement age.
‘Who’s Ada?’
‘She’s who I invited you here to talk about.’
‘Okay,’ I said. I was greatly impressed by my grandfather’s appearance. A pair of braces hung loose from his striped black and grey trousers, as if he was enjoying a relaxed moment after fruitful exertion. He had a full head of white hair. The striking bone structure of his face, his bones generally caught the eye more than his skin, was no less apparent now than it had been in his younger days. His coppery skin had a manly glow. Genetically, at face value, I had nothing to fear from him.
He led me on up the garden path where grass had seeded between the cracked stones. Before ringing his front door bell I had been reminded of the magnetic pull exerted on me as a child by the aura of an uninhabited house near my home. How persuasively it convinced me of the reality of the supernatural, as if ghosts and magic required the prohibition of lawnmowers, vacuum cleaners, air fresheners and polish to thrive. The house in which my grandfather lived had barely any furniture. The floorboards were bare, splintered and felted with dust. There were no carpets or curtains or chairs. The cavernous rooms relayed echoes back and forth like coded messages to an unseen recipient. No wall, evidently, had received a fresh coat of paint for decades. I noticed an exposed tangle of electrical wires sprouting from one wall through which audibly hummed fitful current. Only the kitchen showed signs of habitation, a rudimentary kind of compromise to convention. He offered no explanations. He had hurried me through out into the back garden.
The garden path eventually vanished into a thicket of massed jungle foliage. My grandfather battled his way through it and I followed. It had been raining and drops showered over me as I fought my way through the clinging tendrils and leaves. Hidden behind was a garden shed draped in wisteria. He had to push at the warped wooden door which groaned and only opened with reluctance. Inside there was a mattress on the floor, a chair, teetering piles of books stacked against three walls and a tapestry of ancient spider webs hanging like safety nets from every cornice and corner of the ceiling. There were two pears and some cheese on a map of Paris spread open on the desk. Dead leaves and the silver paper and torn cellophane from cigarette packets carpeted the floor.
‘You live in here?’ I asked.
‘I’m not a great fan of home comforts,’ he said. In the smile and look he gave me I could sense he was trying to gauge how crazy, on a score of one to ten, I thought he was.
There were torn scraps of brown paper pinned to the walls with elegant script handwritten in silver ink. On each was a list.
The blue pinstriped trousers with the cigarette burn on the left thigh = sitting on the shingle at Brighton beach when I was sure I would have to kill myself.
The grey corduroy jacket = my first meeting with Guru at the cult and producing from the inside pocket two thousand pounds in grubby banknotes.
‘I’m afraid of forgetting,’ he explained. ‘Why don’t you sit down?’
I sat down on an old wooden sea chest with black iron handles.
‘When you hear my story you might think I’d welcome dementia. But nothing alarms me more. I live in the past. If I lose the past I’ll be homeless. So I make memory lists. One day I might try to remember as many items of individual clothing I’ve worn in my life as I can. For example, underpants. How many pairs of the various underpants you’ve worn through the years can you remember now? Once you remember a distinctive pair, a memory will begin developing in your mind. Things you’d lost start turning up. I like to call this the discipline of the archaeologist in me. Another day I might try to remember all the times I’ve been to the sea or walked out into snow. Of course probably less than 1% of experience is recorded. As if 99% of our life happens off camera, off stage. You should try it.’ An expression of doubt returned to my grandfather’s face every time, which was often, he tried to laugh it away.
‘I will,’ I said.
‘I’m going to tell you what happened to me during the war and then I want you to do me a favour.’
There was so much agitation in my mind at this juncture of my life that it was difficult for me to pay close attention to the world outside my head. But to be asked to do a favour always got my full attention, set alarm bells ringing in my blood. I hate disappointing people. Which is maybe why I inevitably do. I disappointed a lot more often than I pleased. I braced myself now to disappoint my grandfather.
It occurred to me that we were both under house arrest in our different ways. He had the reputation for rarely leaving his home. I was often nowadays fighting off the same criticism, usually from within.
‘What kind of favour?’
‘We’ll talk about that later.’
My grandfather lifted himself with some difficulty out of his chair and began to perform an eccentric dance. I noticed his fly was undone. They say there isn’t a single gesture a human being can appropriate that is unique, that doesn’t feature in the unpublished catalogue of human gestures. But I had never seen anyone perform a choreography of movements like my grandfather now presented to me. He was like a squirrel scrabbling for nuts in a hanging basket just beyond his reach. His movements were a good deal less fluid but I recognised the performance as the ghost of something he did when I was a child. My grandfather couldn’t allow more than five minutes to pass by without making you smile. He had no qualms about making a figure of fun of himself as long as he was rewarded with a wide grin, which I was able to give him now. My father, on the other hand, had such a horror of appearing in any way ridiculous that it was as if he wore a uniform throughout my childhood and was under at all times the critical scrutiny of a superior officer. For this reason I always felt more love for my grandfather than for my father.
My grandfather was the black sheep of the family. My only living relative whose life might make an interesting biography, though I had taken little active interest in it. There’s still a mark of his volatility on the dining table of my parents’ house where he brought down a mug on the maple wood with such force that it left behind its imprint. I worshipped him when I was small. Then he suddenly vanished for five years and when he came back I found my feeling for him had changed. I resented him, secretly made fun of him at every opportunity. I’d never, up to this point, asked myself why. I’d never enquired where he went when he vanished. My parents are both tight-lipped. Personal life to them is like something to be boxed up with the Christmas decorations in the attic. I sometimes think there are essentially two kinds of people – those who take an interest in remembering their dreams and those who don’t. My parents fall into the latter category. I knew my grandfather had been cuckolded by my grandmother and I knew he had inherited a lot of money from a virtual stranger under very suspicious circumstances. I knew he had had more than one mental breakdown. There was a story that he had once emerged naked from a changing room in a department store and begun shouting at the top of his voice that he didn’t want to buy anything, nothing at all.
‘Shall I tell you my memory of you as a child?’ he asked me. ‘You froze whenever you felt my attention too closely on you. Of course that’s the natural response of children to adult interest. The adult is authority’s surveillance camera, the child is the guilty keeper of secrets. How old are you now?’
‘I’m twenty-eight.’
‘And now you’re stuck in a rut.’
‘Who says I’m stuck in a rut?’
‘You live in a halfway house.’
This was true. I lived in a hostel near Tower Bridge. The building itself was like a multi-storey municipal car park with dormitories. There was a dead plant in the reception area that no one ever thought to throw out. My grandfather had called me yesterday. The receptionist had to climb three flights of stairs to knock on my door and inform me there was a telephone call for me. I never received calls at the hostel. I had long since disappointed everyone who might feel an impulse to find out how I was doing. So when I received a phone call I expected news of a death or at the least a serious accident. Instead it was my enigmatic grandfather. To my knowledge it was the first time I had ever spoken to my grandfather on the phone. Certainly the first time I had heard from him in years. He asked me to visit him, on a matter of the utmost urgency. Thus had I walked today from Tower Bridge to his home in Notting Hill.
‘When we’re stuck in a rut we have to look in the rear view mirror before we can move forwards. It might help you to learn more about your family tree. There’s a whole heap of stuff behind us, like compost, which constitutes energy both pushing us on and holding us back. First I’m going to tell you a story of how one moment of stupid vanity can poison the rest of your life. It’s easy to say don’t do anything you’ll be sorry for but sometimes we have no inkling at the time of how sorry we will be. Of course we’re all prone to misgivings which send us back on our tracks. But, in my case, it was something much more searing than a misgiving. There’s a question I now repeatedly ask myself. Who will look after my things when I die? I’ve made up my mind it has to be you.’
2 Love Song
‘Before Ada and I became friends, I was frightened of the dark. I had a stub of candle and a secret stash of matches hidden by my bed. In bed with the lights out I used to feel the darkness lift me up and float me away until I dissolved into it. I didn’t