Christmas is Murder
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"A winner... At times, it seems we are playing Clue or perhaps enjoying a contemporary retelling of a classic Agatha Christie tale with a charming new sleuth. A must for cozy fans." ~Booklist Starred Review
Not even a blizzard can keep Rex Graves away from Swanmere Manor, an historic hotel on the rolling Sussex Downs. But instead of Christmas cheer, the Scottish barrister finds a dead guest. Was it a stroke that killed old Mr Lawdry? Or an almond tart laced with poison? When more guests die, all hopes for a merry holiday are dashed. On top of all, the remote mansion is snowbound; confined with a killer, no one can leave. The resourceful Rex takes it upon himself to solve the intriguing mystery. Could the killer be the sherry-swilling handyman? The gay antiques dealer with a biting wit? The quarreling newlyweds? Surely it's not Helen, the bonny lass Rex seems to be falling for…
"Christmas Is Murder dishes up an English manor house mystery with the traditional elements: a murder, a small contingent of suspects thrown together, and an engaging and witty sleuth... Challinor will keep most readers guessing as she cleverly spreads suspicion and clues that point in one direction, then another."~Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine
C.S. Challinor
C.S. Challinor was raised and educated in Scotland (St. George's School for Girls, Edinburgh) and England (Lewes Priory, Sussex; University of Kent, Canterbury: Joint Hons Latin & French). She also holds a diploma in Russian from the Pushkin Institute in Moscow. She has lived in Southwest Florida since age 30. Challinor is a member of the Authors Guild, New York, and writes the critically acclaimed Rex Graves cozy mystery series published by Midnight Ink, featuring Rex Graves, a Scottish barrister-sleuth. CHRISTMAS IS MURDER, the first in the Rex Graves Mystery series, reached #1 on the Kindle Bestseller List. This title is also available in large print hardcover through Thorndike Reviewer's Choice. The fifth in the series, MURDER OF THE BRIDE, was a Mystery Guild Book Club pick (hardcover) and a Top Five Books of 2011 Selection by Crime Fiction Lover. JUDGMENT OF MURDER, the eighth Rex Graves title from Midnight Ink, was released in November 2016 to highly favorable reviews from Publishers Weekly, Booklist, and Kirkus Reviews. UPSTAGED BY MURDER, #9, is slated for release by Midnight Ink Books in July of 2018.
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Christmas is Murder - C.S. Challinor
PROLOGUE
Mrs D. Smithings requests the pleasure of the company of Reginald C. Graves, QC, at Swanmere Manor, 23 to 27 December. RSVP.
Rex reread the card before thrusting it into his coat pocket in preparation for his trip, wondering again at the formal nature of the invitation. After all, Dahlia Smithings and his mother were old friends, and he had visited Swanmere Manor as a boy. Not in his wildest dreams could he imagine the place converted into a hotel. Still, he might encounter some interesting guests there and anything was better than staying home alone over Christmas. His mother was visiting a sick friend in Perth, and his significant other had left on a humanitarian mission to Iraq—three weeks ago now, and still not a word.
Eyeing the suitcase gaping on the bed, Rex decided he'd packed enough warm clothes for a week in the south of England. Here in Edinburgh it was four degrees Celsius, with a chance of evening showers and a forecast of plunging temperatures. Lucky wee beggar,
he muttered, thinking of his son in sunny Florida on a student exchange program.
Before he opened the front door, he ran through a mental check list: phone, wallet, car keys, a supply of Clan tobacco, Sudoku puzzles. Then, squeezing into his brand-new Mini Cooper in the dark and the drizzle, he set out for Waverley Station to catch the overnight train down to London.
1
O Christmas Tree
Sandy Bellows blithely diced away at onions on a wooden chopping board, her rolled up sleeves revealing freckled forearms the size of hams. Can you believe it? Snow. And us so near the sea. Another twelve inches tomorrow, they said on the radio.
With a shrug of her voluptuous shoulders, Rosie picked up the laden tea tray from the worktop. You can never rely on what the weatherman says.
Polly in the village told me her husband found an old man by the side of the road. Stiff as a board he was with hypothermia. Another load of snow and there'll be no getting in or out of the hotel,
Sandy Bellows pursued.
Cook, what's this I hear about more snow?
Mrs Smithings asked, darting into the kitchen, a gaunt apparition in black, with pearls encircling her high lace collar.
Another foot tomorrow,
Mrs Bellows repeated. Just in time for Christmas Eve.
Hurry along with that tray, Rosie,
Mrs Smithings commanded the young girl. It's four thirty.
As Rosie left the kitchen, Dahlia Smithings gazed out of the frost-encrusted window, her profile with the severe white bun as austere as those found on Roman coins. Some of our guests are due to leave tomorrow if the snow clears,
she mused aloud. I do wish the American was one of them.
She can be quite trying from what I hear,
the cook agreed. The others are pleasant enough, though. Like that gay couple, Mr Smart and Mr Vance. Nicely mannered they are. And that old gent with one arm. I wonder what his story is, alone at Christmas, and him such a dear—
Yes, yes, Cook. Enough gossip. We have dinner to prepare. Where's that Clifford?
Chopping wood.
Tell him to stockpile logs in the cellar in case we are unable to access the woodshed over the next few days.
You expect it'll get that bad?
Louise was unable to come in today from the village. Imagine what it will be like tomorrow if this keeps up.
Mrs Smithings stared thoughtfully at the sheets of snow falling slantways from the sky. Mr Graves is supposed to be arriving tomorrow from Edinburgh—he may have to cancel his reservation. Well, call Clifford in,
she told Mrs Bellows. We need him here in the kitchen.
Not much use he'll be,
the cook muttered, wiping her hands on her apron. She ambled over to the scullery door and called Clifford.
Tea ready?
the wizened old man asked with glee, depositing his axe on the floor.
We need you to help with dinner.
Me?
Can you peel potatoes?
Mrs Smithings asked impatiently.
Wot? Wi' these gnarled ould 'ands?
He pulled off his mittens to display two arthritic extremities. Eh can 'ardly chop wood.
The cook handed him a vegetable parer. Grumbling, Clifford eased himself onto a chair at the pine table in front of a mound of potatoes. Mind you get all the eyes out,
she directed.
Me 'ands be so bleedin' cold they can 'ardly hold the bleedin' taters.
Watch your tongue, old man,
admonished Mrs Smithings as she swept regally from the kitchen.
Clifford's malicious reply was cut short by Rosie, returning with her empty tray. Here, give me that,
she said, snatching the parer out of his hand, and she began to peel a potato with vigour.
Wot about my tea then?
Clifford asked, jerking his head over his shoulder at Cook.
I'll put the kettle on. I need a bit of a breather myself,
she said.
A sly grin spread over Clifford's etched face. While the cat's away... Where's her ladyship anyways?
he asked Rosie.
Probably in her office.
She'll be gone awhile then, allus lookin' at them photos, she is.
How do you know she looks at photos?
I sees her sometimes through the window when I clips the hedge. Just stares at them, she does. Anything to go wi' the tea?
he asked the cook. Me stomach's growlin' like a bear in a cage.
I kept some almond tarts back.
Ouch!
Rosie, who had nicked herself with the parer, watched transfixed as a bulb of blood grew on her thumb.
Clifford gave a wheezy laugh. Y'aren't much better at it than me. Best get something for that afore you bleed all over the table. If the guests saw that in their food, they'd feel swimey, like as not.
The guests, all but the honeymooners, flocked around the tea items set out on lace doilies on the Victorian table. A Christmas tree topped with an old-fashioned angel and decked in silver bells and burgundy bows twinkled with fairy lights in a corner of the drawing room.
Anthony Smart, upon extricating a cup of tea from the round table, commandeered a wing armchair by the fire. Late thirties and balding, with a close-trimmed beard, he wore designer spectacles and an obsidian signet ring. Stretching his long legs before him, he gazed in appreciation at the white-painted wood trellis work surrounding the fireplace. Webb,
he said knowingly to a charming blonde taking her seat on one of the sofas.
Webb?
she asked, balancing a small plate on her lap while she stirred her tea, her blue eyes as bright as the sequins adorning the neck of her sweater.
The fireplace designer,
Anthony explained.
Oh, really?
Helen d'Arcy looked about the room, taking in the velvet curtains and soft furnishings in navy and cream, matching the vine-and-flower motif carpet.
The manor probably hasn't changed much since it was built in eighteen ninety-eight. But I daresay you would know more about that, Anthony—being an interior decorator."
I'd guess Morris and Company did the design,
Anthony Smart agreed. Such variety of pattern and colour is their hallmark, after all.
I just adore this hunting scene,
interrupted a raucous American voice. Miriam Greenbaum planted herself in front of the fireplace and peered over her thick-rimmed glasses at the oil painting. Worth megabucks, I'll bet.
No doubt,
Anthony concurred, his frown evidencing displeasure at the substantial figure in plum velour invading his space.
Probably been in the Smithings family for generations.
Anthony tapped the air with the toe of his polished shoe—an annoyed cat twitching its tail. So, how did you find out about Swanmere Manor Hotel?
he asked the American guest. It's hardly well advertised.
Stroke of luck,
she replied. A contact from the Brighton Book Festival told me about it.
Excuse me.
Patrick Vance daintily stepped around the literary agent to sit opposite Anthony, while a pert, fortyish brunette made herself comfortable beside Helen.
Feeling better, Sleeping Beauty?
Anthony asked the new arrival.
Much,
Wanda Martyr replied.
Good. You need plenty of rest after the ordeal you've been through,
Helen soothed her friend.
Aren't these tarts to die for?
Wanda said, brushing crumbs from her pencilled lips. What are you sketching?
she asked Patrick, who had propped a pad against one knee.
I'm just doodling.
A pale lock of hair fell across his smooth brow.
Don't believe it for a minute,
Anthony said. Patrick doesn't doodle. He never misses a detail, do you, Patrick? That's what makes him so in demand with our clients.
This is just relaxation. I'm drawing the Christmas tree with the three of you in the foreground.
You might want to take a stab at me sometime,
Miriam Greenbaum butted in, sinking into an empty sofa. It would make a great souvenir to take back to the States.
Patrick mumbled something non-committal in response. At that moment, querulous tones arose from the far side of the room. Urgh, I mistook the coffee for tea,
an old man complained, half rising from his armchair with the aid of his one arm.
Anthony put out a hand. Don't disturb yourself, Mr Lawdry. I'm going that way for a refill. I'd be happy to bring you some tea.
Call me Henry. And most obliged.
One lump or two,
Anthony called from the table.
Two, please. I confess to having a sweet tooth, which is why I wear dentures now, I suppose.
Sugar is poison,
Anthony agreed. It wreaks havoc on the body cells, causing premature ageing.
The two women friends on the sofa suddenly came to from their private conversation.
No!
Wanda exclaimed.
Anthony paused on his way back to Lawdry, two cups in hand. There must be thirty grams of sugar in those iced tarts,
he said, nodding at Wanda's plate.
Nonsense,
Miriam Greenbaum intervened. It's fat that's the killer. I know something about nutrition. Most of the non-fiction books I represent are on diet.
Believe me,
Patrick said, looking up from his sketchpad, what Anthony doesn't know about health isn't worth knowing.
Just then, a gasp sounded from across the room, and they all turned to look. The old man was having a seizure. Patrick reached him first.
Was it the sugar or the fat content?
Anthony Smart asked wryly, pointing to the fallen pastry at the old man's feet. He is going to be okay, isn't he?
Wanda set down her plate with a shaky hand. Well, I ate two tarts and I feel perfectly all right.
Me too,
Helen said. Well, just one, actually. That's my limit.
Mr Lawdry? Henry?
Patrick questioned urgently. He's unconscious. Quick, get Charley Perkins from the honeymoon suite. He's a paramedic. Tell him it might be a heart attack.
Anthony rushed from the room while the three women hovered around the afflicted man's chair.
Poor old thing,
Helen d'Arcy commiserated. He's gone very pale. Is that white icing he choked up?
Wanda stared in horror, hand on her throat. Miriam Greenbaum suggested they get hold of management.
I'll go,
Patrick offered, and left the room.
On the stairs outside the drawing room, a Cockney voice asked, What did Henry eat before he got taken poorly?
Coffee and a tart,
Anthony replied. I hope you can do something, Charley.
The next second, Charley Perkins came dashing barefoot into the room, shirt-tail half hanging out of his trousers. Maybe something didn't agree with his medication,
he said when he saw Lawdry. He leaned over and began checking the old man's vitals conscientiously.
Perhaps we should call an ambulance,
Helen suggested.
Charley straightened up and shook his head sadly. Too late for that—he's gone.
Wanda gasped.
Could it have been food poisoning?
Ms Greenbaum asked.
Food poisoning?
Dahlia Smithings railed from behind them. In my establishment? Impossible!
By six o'clock, Henry Lawdry's body had been carried up to his room upon Mrs Smithings' instructions, and his death reported to the local authorities, who apologized that it would be a while until anyone could reach the hotel due to the snow.
Leave the window open to preserve the body,
the doctor told her over the phone. We should be able to get to it in a day or two.
But the day after tomorrow will be Christmas Eve! I have guests staying, and one more expected tomorrow by train. An eminent QC from Scotland and friend of the family.
The doctor mumbled his regrets and left Mrs Smithings pondering the silent phone.
What are we going to do?
Rosie asked, stepping into the back parlour that served as Mrs Smithings' office.
Do? Continue as before,
exhorted the hotel owner. Serve the guests more tea. Where are they?
In the drawing room, ma'am. If we go on at this rate, we'll run out of tea.
Well, offer them sherry then. Even though it is not strictly Christmas yet, it might be appropriate under the circumstances.
Rosie returned to the drawing room where she produced an antique cut-glass decanter of sherry from an armoire.
Special occasion, Rosie?
Anthony asked, eyeing the decanter from his armchair. Are we toasting Henry farewell?
Mrs Smithings doesn't usually bring out the sherry until Christmas Eve, but she thought it might calm our nerves. I'll be right back with some glasses.
What an eccentric old bird that Dahlia Smithings is,
Ms Greenbaum observed, prodding her iPhone. "Almost total Prohibition is practiced at this hotel, she typed to her assistant in New York.
Sherry is served only at Christmas—or if somebody dies. All they drink is hot tea with cold milk, a vile concoction, and I can't even get to a pub, what with all this blasted snow!"
I can't get over poor Henry's death,
Helen announced to the room.
Her friend Wanda Martyr shivered. Imagine us staying here with a dead body upstairs.
There's no helping it,
Helen replied. Swanmere Manor is two miles uphill from the village and sixteen miles from the nearest town. The country lanes will be impenetrable until a snow plough can come to the rescue. What a dreadful time to pass away!
Yvette Perkins, who had joined them and was sitting hand in hand with Charley on the loveseat, dabbed at her nose with a handkerchief. Henry told me he lost his wife last February. His daughter died years ago and his son emigrated to Australia. He came to Swanmere Manor so he'd have company at Christmas.
That is so sad,
Helen exclaimed. I hope this doesn't put a damper on your honeymoon.
Well, I'll try not to let it spoil things.