My Dog Rigby: Just Like Me
By Jan Olsson
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About this ebook
My Dog Rigby, Just Like Me explores how we react to our dogs, and what this ultimately reveals to us about the way we treat others.
The approach we use to train and connect with our dogs can provide us with insights about how we can enhance our relationships with our partner, children, extended family members, friends, and co-workers.
My Dog Rigby shares personal short stories that everyone can relate to, focusing on themes shared by dogs and their owners, such as anxiety, capacity, aggression, trust, self-regulation, and patterning within the brain. While also giving practical training tips and advice, this book attempts to reveal who we are, who our dogs are, and the ways we are similar.
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My Dog Rigby - Jan Olsson
Accolades for
My Dog Rigby, Just Like Me
An honest man and his dog story, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. There is a vulnerability and level of knowledge that both surprised and delighted me. It was an easy read from cover to cover, and I recommend it to all dog lovers past, present and future. Dogs have been a part of our lives for thousands of years, and let's hope thousands more. We all have something to learn, dogs and people alike. And we can all learn something from My Dog Rigby. I know I did.
Lisa Brooks, Owner and Operator
Happy Tails Pet Resort and Camp
Muskoka, Ontario
Dedication
I would like to dedicate this book to my dog walking friends in Annie Williams Memorial Park. This group of passionate dog owners braves all seasons, rain, snow, the hot summer sun, and frigid winter temperatures, to provide a great experience for their dogs. In turn, they have also provided me and Rigby with kind support. And for this I am grateful.
In memory of Colleen Casey.
She and her dog Bailey will be missed.
Contents
Accolades
Dedication
Foreword
Preface
Introduction
Chapter 1
Know Your Dog, Know Yourself
Chapter 2
Dogs Do Not Make Plans
Chapter 3
Trust the Process
Chapter 4
100% Supervision Means 100% Commitment
Chapter 5
Make the Unknown Known
Chapter 6
Yelling at Your Dog Doesn’t Work
Chapter 7
Calmness is Key
Chapter 8
Butts and Groins Should Not Be Sniffed
Chapter 9
Everyone is Weird in Their Own Way
Chapter 10
Know Your Dog’s Patterns
Chapter 11
When Good Dogs Do Bad Things
Chapter 12
My Dog Never Gave Nothing to The Tin Man
Chapter 13
Don’t Let Your Dog Yank Your Chain
Chapter 14
You Can’t Throw the Dog Off the Balcony
Chapter 15
We Are Not Dog Trainers,
But Rather Dog Educators
Chapter 16
If Your Dog Thinks It’s Crap,
Then She Thinks You’re Crap
Chapter 17
Dog Ownership Should Be a Banquet
Chapter 18
Happiness, Love and Understanding
Chapter 19
Bliss in Motion
Chapter 20
Just Like Me
Afterword
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Other Publications by Jan Olsson
Other Publications from Castle Carrington Publishing Group
Foreword
I am truly honored that Jan Olsson asked me to read his book and write its Foreword. I met Jan several years ago when he began dating one of my best friends, Alison, before they eventually married. Jan and I both share a fondness for dogs, which makes writing this Foreword even more personal.
My Dog Rigby is a hero’s journey and first-person narrative by a caninophile. Each chapter contains introspective meditations about life, which are framed by Jan’s life with Rigby. Jan’s self-reflective approach and his ability to acknowledge mistakes manifest as kindness. His words provide insights into his relationships and connections with other individuals. In sharing Jan’s stories, he acknowledges the inconsistencies he brought to his relationships with the previous pups who have entered and exited his life. Yet, it is his self-awareness that underscores this hero’s journey. Jan describes what it takes to know oneself, the responsibility of this awareness, and the frame it provides in knowing someone else.
In Jan’s My Dog Rigby: Just Like Me, we come to know Jan through a lens coated with the human condition. In the opening chapter, Know Your Dog, Know Yourself there is a persistent yet humble reminder to calibrate expectations. Jan’s learning curve as a dog trainer, both past and present, serves to remind us that growth and self-actualization evolve throughout our lifespan. Jan’s examples surface on cue to prompt us to consider perspective and mitigate perfectionism, whether we parent dogs or children.
During my undergraduate studies, one of the professors asked us to introduce ourselves to another student by sharing a few characteristics that reveal our true selves. We were told to use adjectives that described our narrative rather than information that showed our accomplishments (i.e., academic achievement or professional experiences). This exercise was more challenging than it may seem. Sharing descriptions of our true selves, without the academic accoutrement, revealed an up-close, more personal narrative to a stranger. Similarly, in My Dog Rigby, Just Like Me, Jan shares an honest look at himself, beginning in childhood and including his earliest memories of family dogs.
About twelve years ago, I adopted two dogs who were originally from Oklahoma City. Shortly after their midwestern transfer to Chicago, they moved into the house I shared with my four children and their father. Both dogs had been homeless, and against the suggestion from the Anti Cruelty Society on North LaSalle, we adopted them at the same time. Despite sharing Midwestern roots, they are not from the same litter and not of the same breed, but they are bonded to one another and to me as if we share the same DNA.
Jan and Rigby have forged a bond, at the heart of which personal motivation and a reciprocal compromise are revealed. Knowing oneself is vital to knowing one another. Toddlers, like puppies, are curious and impulsive by nature. They are motivated to explore and learn, but those impulses can be juxtaposed with what parents or trainers may envision for safety, personal development, and enrichment. As Jan and Rigby take daily walks, their relationship develops. Jan narrates this evolution, while becoming increasingly aware that their bond provides a doorway to Jan’s self-actualization.
Loren Deutsch
Master of Arts, Master of Education
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Founder and Executive Director,
Loren Academic Services
Winnetka, Illinois U.S.
Preface
In our view, the dog is not a possession, a personal commodity to be used solely for our own amusement or ego gratification. Rather, [she] is a living, autonomous yet highly social pack-oriented creature who has an amazing capacity for companionship and love.
The Monks of New Skete
The domestication of wild animals occurred approximately 15,000–40,000 years ago. In the beginning, most wild animals, such as cattle and sheep, were enslaved to humans. Dogs were the only exception. We used them for hunting and fighting, and as an alarm system against wild beasts and human intruders. Simultaneously, dogs learned to manipulate people for their own benefit. Dogs that were more sensitive to the needs and feelings of their human companions got extra care and food and were more likely to survive. With the passing of generations, dogs and humans learned to work cooperatively together. Our special bond, created over thousands of years, has yielded a much deeper affection between humans and dogs, than between humans and any other animal. This history ultimately helps us understand when and where our wonderful relationship began and, more importantly, how it may have helped shape our own social development.
Dogs are far more complex than once believed. And their brains have evolved similarly to ours. They assisted us with survival, and their ability to align their behaviours with us has been an integral part of their success around the world. We have the ability to teach and learn. Dogs acquired the receptiveness to learn from us and became highly sensitive to our various forms of communication. Our emotional connection with dogs has evolved in the same way. As a result of their attraction to humans, dogs can change their emotional response to us, and we can change our emotional response to dogs through our attachment to them. Not surprisingly, the longer you and your dog live together, and the more you do with each other, the more you and your dog can tap into one another’s moods and feelings. At the core of our dog’s emotions are measurable physiological responses caused by the release of hormones, such as oxytocin. It’s the same emotional connection we experience with members of our family, and other individuals who enter our lives, often without the use of words.
One of the greatest challenges we face over our lifetime is learning the difference between right and wrong. Behaviours we identify as being right allow us to interact cooperatively with others. Asking for permission, communicating clearly, using good manners, admitting when we are wrong, and being honest about ourselves are evolved social adaptations. It appears that dogs also have some sense of right and wrong, which helps them cultivate and regulate their social interactions with other dogs and us. They show us tolerance, forgiveness, reciprocity, and fairness. Other examples of behaviours we share with dogs include: loyalty, cooperation, mimicry, the use of tools, such as language, the ability to follow rules, and the demonstration of self-control. For example, human touching and stroking will reduce a dog’s blood pressure and cortisol levels, while bolstering their confidence and reassurance of our love. This also applies to humans. It’s a well-established fact that early physical human contact plays an essential role in a child’s well-being. The more appropriate physical affection we receive in our early years, the better off and happier we tend to be throughout life. Dogs and humans experience similar benefits when they touch each other. Sharing these common behaviours forms the foundation of our strong relationship with dogs. The parallels between human-to-human interaction and human-to-dog interaction, and the shared capacity to understand and behave according to these rules of right and wrong behaviour, are striking.
The way I trained my dogs tells me a lot about who I was as a person. As I take a closer look at my past training methods and emotional responses to my dog’s behaviours, I see patterns. Although each animal had their own unique personalities, their character was clearly shaped by my character. There’s no denying that I can see some of me in them. I’m also starting to recognize similarities between the reactions I had to my dogs and my reactions to others. Having lived with ten different dogs, my journey has been far from perfect. I know more about myself and dog training now than I did fifty years ago, but I also recognize that there’s still a lot more to learn. The same can be said for many parts of my personal life. If I could go back and do it over again, I would do it differently. But I can’t do that. So, now is the best time to start making changes. By examining my relationship with my new dog, and the social needs that we share, I can discover a more positive way to socialize with others. That’s what inspired me to write this book.
This book begins with a brief look back at all of my dogs. After which, I introduce my current dog, Rigby. Each chapter shares interesting stories about the way we handle our dogs, the common struggles that I and many others have experienced, and how our responses to these struggles reveal who we are as people. I hope these stories will inspire you to become a better friend to your dog, a more cooperative co-worker, a more compassionate partner, a less reactive parent, and someone who adopts a more