Girl, Serpent, Thorn
4/5
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About this ebook
Melissa Bashardoust's Girl, Serpent, Thorn is “an alluring feminist fairy tale” (Kirkus) about a girl cursed to be poisonous to the touch and who discovers what power might lie in such a curse.
There was and there was not, as all stories begin, a princess cursed to be poisonous to the touch. But for Soraya, who has lived her life hidden away, apart from her family, safe only in her gardens, it’s not just a story.
As the day of her twin brother’s wedding approaches, Soraya must decide if she’s willing to step outside of the shadows for the first time. Below in the dungeon is a demon who holds knowledge that she craves, the answer to her freedom. And above is a young man who isn’t afraid of her, whose eyes linger not with fear, but with an understanding of who she is beneath the poison.
Soraya thought she knew her place in the world, but when her choices lead to consequences she never imagined, she begins to question who she is and who she is becoming...human or demon. Princess or monster.
Melissa Bashardoust
Melissa Bashardoust received her degree in English from the University of California, Berkeley, where she rediscovered her love for creative writing, children’s literature, and fairy tales and their retellings. She currently lives in Southern California with a cat named Alice and more copies of Jane Eyre than she probably needs. Girls Made of Snow and Glass is her first novel.
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Reviews for Girl, Serpent, Thorn
143 ratings11 reviews
- Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5I'm 61% of the way through the book and I just can't make myself pick it up and continue. I cant do another four more hours. Im just not invensted in any of it. I don't love the characters, I don't understand the world or the creatures as nothing is really explained at any point. Occasionally the author will call the Deevs(sp?) as demons and that is the only creature that I actually know. But so far is very predictable and boring. The one new guy that shows up is suddenly trusted with a lot and allows a lot that their society does not... gee who wouldnt think that was suspicious.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Wow. The folklore was so rich and fleshed out. The world was beautiful and Soraya was such a powerful main character with many flaws. I just didn't want to put it down.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Its rare you get a book that you love so much that you cannot put it down. Its also very rare that you find a book that reminds you why you loved reading to begin with, for me, Melissa Bashardoust did the impossible. I fell in love with this so much that I read it all in one day. Based off of Persian and classic fairytales, Girl, Serpent, Thorn draws you into the world of Soraya - a Princess with a huge secret that is her worst nightmare, and perhaps, her most dangerous quality. Both romances are very sweet, I honestly wished I didn't see the LGBT tag when I put this into my library, but its very rare you can go from routing for the Princess and the Bad Boy to routing for the Princess and the Demonic Moth Girl. However, the straight forward writing and the quick pace had me saying "Just one more page!" for about three hours straight until I finished it. I will be reccommending this highly to all my friends and family as well as patrons at the library where I work!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Drawing from Persian tales, Girl, Serpent, Thorn by Melissa Bashardoust weaves a unique fairy tale of its own.Soraya, princess and sister to her twin brother, the current Shah, has lived all her life sequestered in one of the palaces under a curse since she was a baby: her skin is poisonous and kills anything which contacts it. The story revolves around Soraya discovering the true nature of her curse, how to break it, and the unexpected consequences if she does.As it was a fairy tale, I knew everything would work out, somehow, in the end, but the unexpected twists and turns and changing alliances were very rewarding.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Perfect for fairy tale fans, for YA fans and fantasy fans. “Girl, Serpent, Thorn” is about myth, expectation, shame, growing up, living in shadow, making mistakes, disappointing people, learning who you really are, learning who your parent really is and making amends. Of righting a wrong, knowing it’s possible you may not be forgiven, but righting it anyway.
It’s always a joy to read a book that has characters and a culture I don’t often see in literature. This book features Persian culture and a bisexual main character.
There were enough characters in the book that I normally have trouble keeping track of them, but I didn’t experience that this time. Probably because they all had very distinct roles.
I don’t want to say too much about this because I don’t want to give anything away, but the moment where Soraya truly comes into her own, I could have read about that for a lot longer. There was so much build-up to that moment and I wanted to be in that moment for longer.
I can absolutely see this book being made into a movie. The imagery would be so magical. The cover is lovely too. The book opens with such an engaging paragraph, like any good fairy tale.
I love this book for teens too, because it tackles a lot of themes/issues that we face growing up and it’s great for kids to see that in the books they read.
Note: I received this ARC as a Goodreads giveaway. These thoughts are my own. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5After choosing this book for two cliche reasons, a dark fairy tale and the beautiful cover art, I am happily pleased with my choice. The story gives vibes of a darker Aladdin with a touch of Sleeping Beauty. The tale begs the question of who do you trust and what secrets need to ever be revealed.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Shut the front door! Don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here with my audiobook hangover. Girl, Serpent, Thorn by Melissa Bashardoust is a YA Fantasy fairytale with origins in Persian mythology history. Our protagonist Soraya was cursed as an infant with poison in her blood making her touch deadly, and her emotions reflected by changing colors of her veins. This keeps her isolated from society, hidden by her royal family. To find the truth of the origins of her curse she must confront magic that has betrayed her family several times before. A key element in YA is often coming of age, self discovery, and this is very much the case here. Soraya experiments in relationships with both men and women, however neither play a central focus in the story. The central theme explored being in this fairytale the girl saves herself, and her pathway there is a metamorphosis to a complex, dark character. It makes a really interesting, compelling, and nuanced story. Unlike many fairytale retellings so much of the narrative is fresh and unknown. The reader feels like they may have heard it, something similar in parts, but you may not be sure. It’s very well done. The audiobook experience, narrated expertly by Nikki Massoud, is a must listen. Her lyrical voice acting gently rocks you along, as a fairytale does. Then before you know it the story has turned dark and twisty, and you’re all in! This lends itself especially well to leaning back and being read to, being immersed in the the story. Not to be missed is the author notes at the end. I found her details on word history and where she drew her inspiration fascinating. I highly recommend to those readers that enjoy YA, Fantasy, fairytale retellings, those that are new to audiobooks, and absolutely to those that think ‘these aren’t my genres’. I was so pleasantly surprised by this audiobook and hope a wide audience finds it. Many thanks to Netgalley and Macmillan Audio for the advanced listening copy. All opinions are my own.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Fascinating read, enhanced by the author's notes at the back explaining the various elements that went into creating the story. What would you do if your touch would kill and you were the sister of the new shah? Then you discover the curse was inflicted not as you originally were told, but for reasons that make you beyond angry. This is what Soraya faces and must sort out. To get there involves an alliance with an imprisoned demon, deceptions galore, battles, imprisonment herself and the very real possibility that she might have to kill those she loves. Rich, complex, agonizing at times with plenty of action. This is a very good selection for library YA fantasy collections.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I was originally drawn to Girl, Serpent, Thorn because of that stunning cover! I knew nothing about the Persian story or the fairy tales it was inspired by. So, I dove into this book essentially blind and I was not disappointed. I haven't read anything quite like this.The plot starts a little slow and some word usage is repetitive, but there's enough unseen twists and turns that sticking with it isn't a chore. So, is the princess a monster? There are definitely moments that leave you wondering! This book is not for those looking for a typical fairy tale (though there is a sweet happy ending to look forward to). It's dark at times, and the princess is morally-grey and stuck in a rather twisted loved triangle. Overall, a wonderful story I recommend everyone read.My review is based on an advanced copy of the book.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Series Info/Source: I got an eGalley of this book to review through NetGalley. This is a stand alone story.Story (3/5): This was okay, I wanted to love it but just found it kind of boring. It took a long time for things to really start getting interesting and then once the story finally started to pick up pace, it still seemed just too predictable. I also read Bashardoust's "Girls Made of Snow and Glass" and liked that more than this book.I think part of the issue was everyone is constantly lying and betraying each other but somehow this is okay. It just got to the point where our main character would find out another person had betrayed her and I would roll my eyes thinking, "Of course, this person is a liar too because that is what this book is full of, lying and betraying." However, it was okay because the characters HAD to lie and betray each other because of their circumstances...so they were constantly forgiving each other and it got repetitive and old. I just couldn't get past this and kept thinking "Hey, why doesn't everyone try telling each other the truth?"Characters (3/5): I didn’t really like or engage with any of these characters, they were all deceitful and mean to each other throughout the whole story. Setting (3/5): The world-building wasn’t the main driver of this book. The story takes place in a generic castle with mysterious dark woods outside of it. The whole story does have classic Arabian vibes to it.Writing Style (4/5): The writing style was fine. It’s easy to read and descriptions are well done. I thought the pacing was very slow and just found the whole thing to be kind of “eh”. My Summary (3/5): Overall the concept was decent but the execution here was lacking. I just never really engaged with the characters and found myself bored with it all. I enjoyed the afterward that goes through the origins of the fairy tales that this story is based on way more than the story itself. This was okay but definitely had some issues.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Shut the front door! Don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here with my audiobook hangover. Girl, Serpent, Thorn by Melissa Bashardoust is a YA Fantasy fairytale with origins in Persian mythology history. Our protagonist Soraya was cursed as an infant with poison in her blood making her touch deadly, and her emotions reflected by changing colors of her veins. This keeps her isolated from society, hidden by her royal family. To find the truth of the origins of her curse she must confront magic that has betrayed her family several times before. A key element in YA is often coming of age, self discovery, and this is very much the case here. Soraya experiments in relationships with both men and women, however neither play a central focus in the story. The central theme explored being in this fairytale the girl saves herself, and her pathway there is a metamorphosis to a complex, dark character. It makes a really interesting, compelling, and nuanced story. Unlike many fairytale retellings so much of the narrative is fresh and unknown. The reader feels like they may have heard it, something similar in parts, but you may not be sure. It’s very well done. The audiobook experience, narrated expertly by Nikki Massoud, is a must listen. Her lyrical voice acting gently rocks you along, as a fairytale does. Then before you know it the story has turned dark and twisty, and you’re all in! This lends itself especially well to leaning back and being read to, being immersed in the the story. Not to be missed is the author notes at the end. I found her details on word history and where she drew her inspiration fascinating. I highly recommend to those readers that enjoy YA, Fantasy, fairytale retellings, those that are new to audiobooks, and absolutely to those that think ‘these aren’t my genres’. I was so pleasantly surprised by this audiobook and hope a wide audience finds it. Many thanks to Netgalley and Macmillan Audio for the advanced listening copy. All opinions are my own.
Book preview
Girl, Serpent, Thorn - Melissa Bashardoust
PROLOGUE
Stories always begin the same way: There was and there was not. There is possibility in those words, the chance for hope or despair. When the daughter sits at her mother’s feet and asks her for the story—always the same story—her favorite part is hearing those words, because it means anything is possible. There was and there was not. She is and she is not.
Her mother always tells the story the exact same way, with the exact same words, as if they were carefully rehearsed.
There was and there was not a girl of thirteen who lived in a city to the south of Mount Arzur. Everyone there knew never to go wandering too close to the mountain, because it was the home of divs—the demonic servants of the Destroyer whose only purpose was to bring destruction and chaos to the Creator’s world. Most people even avoided the sparse forestland that spread out from the southern face of the mountain. But sometimes children who thought they were adults would go wandering there during the day—only during the day—and come back to boast of it.
One day, the girl wanted to prove her bravery, and so she went into the forestland. She planned to go just far enough to break off a sprig of one of the cedar trees that grew there, to bring back as proof. What she found instead was a young woman, trapped and tangled in a net on the ground, begging for help. It was a div trap, she told the girl, and if the div returned, he would take her prisoner.
The girl took pity on the young woman and quickly found a sharp rock to saw through the ropes of the net. When the woman was free, she thanked the girl, then ran off. The girl should have done the same, but she hesitated too long, and soon a heavy hand clamped down on her shoulder.
The girl looked up at the div that was looming over her, too terrified by his monstrous form to run or even scream for help. She thought her heart would stop from fear and save the div the trouble of killing her himself.
The div took one look at the empty net, the pieces of rope, and the rock in the girl’s hand, and knew what had happened. You stole something of mine,
he said to the girl in a low growl. And so now I will steal something of yours.
The girl thought he would take her life, but instead, the div cursed her firstborn daughter, making her poisonous, so that anyone who touched her would die.
At this point, the daughter always interrupts her mother, asking—why the firstborn daughter? She doesn’t need to mention that she is thinking of her twin brother with envy and perhaps a little resentment. It already shows on her face.
To which the mother always replies that the ways of divs are mysterious and unjust, unknown to anyone but themselves.
The div let the girl go after that, and she ran straight home, unwilling or unable to tell anyone of her encounter. She wanted to forget about the div’s curse, to pretend it never happened. And it would be several years yet before she would have any children to worry about. In time, she did manage to forget the div’s curse—mostly.
Years passed, and when the girl was older, she was chosen by the shah of Atashar to be his bride and queen. She did not tell him about the div’s curse. She barely thought of it herself.
It was only when her children—twins; a boy and a girl—were born that she remembered that day in the forest. But by then, of course, it was too late, and three days after the birth, she discovered that the div had spoken true. On the morning of that third day, the wet nurse bent to pick up the daughter to feed her—but as soon as their skin touched, the nurse fell to the ground, dead.
And that is why her mother always agrees to tell her daughter this story, over and over again. She doesn’t want her daughter to forget how important it is to be careful always to wear her gloves, to make sure never to touch anyone. She doesn’t want her daughter to be reckless, as she once was, when she was only thirteen and wandered too far into the forestland.
At this point, the daughter always looks down at her gloved hands and tries to remember her nurse, who died because of her. There was and there was not, she reminds herself. It’s just a story.
The daughter wants to crawl onto her mother’s lap and lay her head against her mother’s chest, but she doesn’t. She never does.
It’s not just a story.
1
From the roof of Golvahar, Soraya could almost believe that she existed.
The roof was a dangerous place, a painful luxury. Standing at the edge, she could see the garden spread out in front of the palace, lush and beautiful as always. But beyond that, beyond the gates of Golvahar, was the rest of the world, far larger than she could ever imagine. A city full of people encircled the palace. A road led south, down to the central desert, to other provinces and other cities, on and on, to the very edge of Atashar. Beyond that were more kingdoms, more land, more people.
From the other end of the roof, she could see the dry forestland and the dreaded Mount Arzur to the northeast. From every corner, there was always more and more, mountains and deserts and seas, hills and valleys and settlements, stretching on without end. It should have made Soraya feel small or inconsequential—and sometimes it did, and she would have to retreat with teeth gritted or fists clenched. More often, though, standing alone under the open sky made her feel unbound and unburdened. From this height, everyone seemed small, not just her.
But today was different. Today, she was on the roof to watch the royal family’s procession through the city. Today, she did not exist at all.
The royal family always arrived shortly before the first day of spring—the first day of a new year. They had a different palace in a different province for each season, the better to keep an eye on the satraps who ruled the provinces on the shah’s behalf, but even though Soraya was the shah’s sister, she never moved with them. She always remained in Golvahar, the oldest of the palaces, because it was the only palace with rooms behind rooms and doors behind doors. It was the perfect place to keep something—or someone—hidden away. Soraya lived in the shadows of Golvahar so that her family would not live in hers.
From above, the procession resembled a sparkling thread of gold winding its way through the city streets. Golden litters carried the noblewomen, including Soraya’s mother. Golden armor encased the dashing soldiers who rode on horseback, led by the spahbed, the shah’s most trusted general, his lined face as stern as always. Golden camels followed at the rear, carrying the many belongings of the royal family and the bozorgan who traveled with the court.
And at the head of the procession, riding under the image of the majestic green-and-orange bird that had always served as their family’s banner, was Sorush, the young shah of Atashar.
Light and shadow. Day and night. Sometimes even Soraya forgot that she and Sorush were twins. Then again, the Creator and the Destroyer were also twins, according to the priests. One born of hope, one of doubt. She wondered what doubts had gone through her mother’s head as she gave birth to her daughter.
In the streets, people cheered as the shah and his courtiers threw gold coins out into the crowd. Soraya understood why the people loved him so much. Sorush glowed under the light of their praise, but the smile he wore was humble, his posture relaxed compared to the rigid, formal stance of the spahbed. Soraya had long stopped imagining what it would be like to ride with her family from place to place, but her body still betrayed her, her hands clutching the parapet so tightly that her knuckles hurt.
As the procession moved through the palace gates and into Golvahar’s vast garden, Soraya could see faces more clearly. With a grimace, she noticed Ramin in the red uniform of the azatan. He wore it proudly, with his head held high, knowing that as the spahbed’s only son and likely successor, he had been born to wear red.
Her eyes gladly shifted away from Ramin to a figure riding a few horses behind him. He was a young man near the same age, his features indistinct from so far away, dressed not like a soldier in red and gold, but like a commoner, in a brown tunic without adornment. Soraya might not have noticed him at all except for one thing—
He was looking directly at her.
Despite the pomp of the procession, the lush beauty of the garden, and the grandeur of the palace ahead of him, the young man had looked up and noticed a single, shadowy figure watching from the roof.
Soraya was frozen, too surprised to duck away. That was what her instincts were telling her to do—hide, disappear, don’t let anyone see you—but another instinct, one that she’d thought she’d buried long ago, kept her in place as she locked eyes with the young man, as she let herself see and be seen. And before she shrank away from the roof’s edge and disappeared from sight, she silently issued two commands to this young man who saw what he wasn’t supposed to see.
The first was a warning: Look away.
But the second was a challenge.
Come find me.
A beetle was crawling on the grass near where Soraya was kneeling. The sight of it froze her in place, her bare hands hovering in the air until it crawled a safe distance away from her. She shuffled a little in the opposite direction and went back to her work.
After watching the procession, Soraya had come to the golestan, needing something to occupy her thoughts and her hands. The walled rose garden was her mother’s gift to her, along with teaching her to read. After Soraya had discovered as a child that she could touch flowers and other plant life without spreading her poison to them, her mother began to bring her a potted rose, as well as a book, when she visited each spring. As the years passed, Soraya’s collections grew, and her garden was now teeming with roses—pink roses, red damask roses, white and yellow and purple roses, growing in bushes and climbing up the mud-brick walls, their scent as sweet as honey.
Like the much larger palace garden, the golestan was separated into quarters by tiled pathways that met in the center at an octagonal pool. Unlike the palace garden, there were only two entrances to the golestan—a door in the wall to which only Soraya had the key, and a set of latticed doors that opened from Soraya’s room. The golestan belonged to her and her alone, and so it was the one place she didn’t need to fear touching anyone or anything—except for the unknowing insects that found their way inside.
Soraya was still eyeing the retreating beetle when she heard the sound of stately footsteps coming from her room. She quickly stood and brushed the dirt off her dress, then put on her gloves, which she had tucked into her sash.
Hello, Soraya joon,
her mother said as she came to stand in the open doorway. Tall and regal, draped in silks, her hair glittering with jewels, Soraya’s mother always seemed more than human. When the late shah had died seven years ago from his illness, Sorush and Soraya had been only eleven, and so it was Tahmineh who had become the regent, ruling in her son’s stead until he was old enough to rule. And yet, with all that responsibility, she had never forgotten to bring Soraya the treasured gifts that lightened her daughter’s burden. Even now, Tahmineh was holding a book under one arm and a clay pot in her hands.
With her gloves safely on, Soraya came forward to accept her mother’s gifts, stopping a few steps away from her. Thank you, Maman,
she said, gently taking the potted rose. There was only a hint of green within the packed soil, just as Soraya preferred. She liked to see the roses bloom for the first time in her garden, by her hand. It was proof that she could nurture as well as destroy.
I hope your journey wasn’t too tiring,
Soraya called over her shoulder as she found a temporary home for the potted rose until she could plant it. She hadn’t had a conversation with anyone in so long that words felt clumsy on her tongue. Their greetings were always stiff and formal, since neither of them could embrace the other, but Soraya had seen the warmth in her mother’s eyes, in the crinkle of her smile, and she hoped her own face showed the same.
Not at all,
Tahmineh answered. Here,
she said, holding the book out. Stories from Hellea,
she said, since I think you already know every Atashari story that’s ever been told by now.
Soraya took the book and leafed through the illustrated pages as her mother started to walk along the edge of the golestan. These are beautiful,
Tahmineh murmured to the climbing roses on the wall, and Soraya silently beamed with pride. She could never shine as brightly as her brother did, but she could still make her mother smile.
There were more people in the procession today than usual,
Soraya said, her tongue starting to loosen. Are they all coming for Nog Roz?
Tahmineh froze, her back so straight and still that she resembled a statue. Not only for Nog Roz,
she said at last. Let’s go inside, Soraya joonam. I have something to tell you.
Soraya swallowed, her fingertips cold even inside her gloves. She moved aside from the doors for her mother to enter first and then followed, still clutching the book in her hands.
She had nothing to offer her mother, no wine or fruit or anything else. Servants brought food to Soraya’s room three times a day, leaving a tray behind the door for her. People knew the shah had a reclusive sister, and perhaps they all had their own theories as to why she hid away, but none of them knew the truth, and it was Soraya’s duty to keep it that way.
The room was certainly comfortable, however. There were cushions everywhere—on the bed, on the chair, on the window seat, some on the floor—all with different textures, made from different fabrics. Overlapping rugs spread out across the entire floor, their vibrant colors a little worn from time. Every surface was covered with something soft, as though she could somehow make up for the lack of touch by surrounding herself with these artificial substitutes. Throughout the room were glass vases holding wilting roses from her garden, filling the room with the earthy smell of dying flowers.
There was only one chair in the room, and so Tahmineh sat on one end of the window seat. Soraya placed herself carefully at the other end, her hands folded in her lap, her knees held together, taking up as little room as possible so that her mother would feel comfortable.
But her mother looked anything but comfortable. She was avoiding Soraya’s eyes, her hands fidgeting in her lap. Finally, she took a breath, looked up, and said, The reason we have so many visitors is that your brother is going to be married next month.
Oh,
Soraya said with some surprise. From her mother’s demeanor, she had expected to hear about a funeral rather than a wedding. She had known Sorush would likely marry sooner or later. Did her mother think she would be jealous?
The bride is Laleh,
her mother added.
Oh,
Soraya said again, her tone flat this time. It made sense, she told herself. Laleh was the spahbed’s daughter, as kindhearted as she was beautiful. She deserved to become the most loved and influential woman in Atashar. Anyone would—should—be happy for her.
There was a loose thread on the edge of Soraya’s sleeve. She took it between her finger and her thumb and pulled, watching the fabric slowly unravel. Her pulse was quickening with emotions she didn’t want to have or name. Soraya took some slow breaths, the loose thread now wrapped several times around her gloved fingers. She wouldn’t let bitterness or resentment overtake her. She wouldn’t let them show on her face. Soraya took a breath, unwound the thread from her fingers, and looked up at her mother with a smile.
They’re a good match,
Soraya said.
Her mother’s smile was warm and genuine—and relieved. I think so too,
she said softly. Her smile faltered, her eyes flitting downward. I may not have as much time to spend with you until after the wedding. It will be a busy time.
Soraya swallowed down the lump in her throat. I understand,
she said. The world would move on without her, as it always had.
You know I love you.
Soraya nodded. I love you too, Maman.
They continued to share pleasantries and bits of court gossip, but it was a mostly one-sided conversation. Soraya was too occupied with trying to control her emotions, sneaking glances down to make sure the light brown skin of her wrists was unmarred. By the time Tahmineh left, Soraya was exhausted from the effort.
Alone again, Soraya returned to the golestan to plant the rose her mother had given her. She ripped off her gloves, ignoring the lines of green that were spreading down her arms, and tried to let the sight of her roses soothe her. She cupped one of them in her palms and brought her face close to it, inhaling the scent as she let the edge of the petals brush along her cheek. So soft, as soft as a kiss—or so she imagined. She let her hands drift down to the stem, pressing the tip of her finger against one of the thorns, and that too was a comfort—knowing that something dangerous could also be beautiful and cherished.
But now she couldn’t help looking down at her hands, at the insides of her wrists, where her veins had become a dark shade of green. She knew the veins running down her face and neck would be turning the same color, spreading out over her cheeks into a green web until she calmed and contained the tempest of her emotions.
They had all been inseparable once: Sorush and Laleh and Soraya, with Ramin often hovering over them. Laleh and Ramin were the only two outside of Soraya’s family to know of her curse—an accident, but one that Soraya had been grateful for. She might never have had a friend otherwise. It had all seemed so easy when they were children. Tahmineh had been worried, but Soraya proved that she could be very careful not to touch anyone, and Laleh had always been well-behaved. Sorush had been there to make sure nothing went wrong. And for a time, nothing did.
But then the shah died, and even though his widow acted as regent, Sorush was suddenly under more scrutiny than before. Their mother kindly explained to her that he had less time for play, but over the years, Soraya figured out the real reason she never saw her brother anymore. Their family had a reputation to protect, and poisonous creatures belonged to the Destroyer. If Soraya’s curse became public knowledge, the bozorgan might think the Destroyer had laid his hands on their family line. They would lose their confidence in the shah and his dynasty, and they would depose him.
And Laleh—how long had it been since she’d spoken to Laleh? Was it three years or four? They had tried to keep in touch even after losing Sorush, but while two children could find time and space to play games or share candied almonds, it was much harder for two young women—especially when one of them was swiftly entering the world of the court that the other was forever barred from. Every year, they grew more distant, their time together shorter—and more awkward, both of them old enough now to understand how different their lives were and would always be. The spring Soraya turned fifteen was the first year she didn’t see Laleh at all, and she hadn’t been surprised. Laleh belonged to the same world as Sorush—a world of light, not shadow. Of open air, not narrow, hidden passageways.
Soraya bent down, digging with her hands into the soil to create a home for her new rose. From the corner of her eye, she saw the beetle still making its laborious way across the garden. Soraya watched it, this intruder to her sanctuary. And then she reached out and brushed one fingertip along its smooth back.
The beetle stopped moving, and Soraya went back to her work.
2
Five days after her family’s return, Soraya was on the roof again. It was the night of Suri, the last night of winter, and Soraya was staring deeply into the heart of the bonfire, trying to feel some kind of connection with her ancestors. It was difficult in her case, though, because her ancestor was a bird.
That was the story, anyway. The first shah in her family’s dynastic line, the shah who overthrew the wicked Shahmar and ascended to the throne more than two hundred years ago, had been a foundling child. His parents had cast him out, leaving him at the base of a mountain for the divs to take. But instead of divs, the simorgh—the legendary bird who served as the symbol and protector of Atashar—had found him and taken him in, adopting him as her son. Years later, after the Shahmar’s defeat, the simorgh gave her newly coronated son one of her own feathers, which would keep him—and every reigning shah or shahbanu descended from him—safe from the Destroyer’s forces. Though the simorgh’s protection had no power over natural deaths, like that of Soraya’s father, it protected the current shah from divs and the human sorcerers known as yatu.
The simorgh’s protection had to be freely given by the simorgh herself, not won or taken by conquest, and so it was a great point of pride for her family, even though the simorgh had gone missing during the reign of Soraya’s great-grandfather. Her family’s supporters claimed the simorgh left because she wasn’t needed anymore, while detractors argued that the simorgh abandoned the royal family in disapproval after Soraya’s great-grandfather had entered a truce to end years of war with Hellea. Others believed the Shahmar still lived and had hunted and killed the simorgh out of revenge for his defeat. Whatever had happened to her, fewer and fewer people had lived long enough to remember ever seeing her.
And that was the ancestral origin Soraya was supposed to be honoring tonight. Tomorrow, on Nog Roz, the entire palace would celebrate life, but Suri was a night dedicated to the spirits of the dead. The bonfire blazing on the roof in front of her burned to welcome her ancestors, the guardian spirits who protected her family.
Every year, Soraya tried to feel her ancestors returning—some sense of continuity between this long line of shahs and her, the cursed shahzadeh standing alone in the dark. Or between her and the people of Atashar, who were all currently burning bonfires on their own roofs, welcoming their own ancestors. Her ancestors, her people, her country—these were a person’s roots, the forces that bound someone to a time and a place, a feeling of belonging. Soraya felt none of it. Sometimes she thought she could easily float away from this life, like a tendril of smoke, and begin again, far away, without any regret.
Soraya turned away from the fire and wandered to the edge of the roof. Below, scattered throughout the garden, were several smaller fires in coal pits. Members of the court gathered around them, trying to seem solemn and respectful but probably gossiping over wine. If any of them looked in her direction, she would only appear as a dark, sulking outline against the fire.
Yes, she was sulking. After her mother’s announcement, she had promised herself she wouldn’t sulk—it would be too easy to sink into envy, to let that kind of poison into her heart as well as her veins. And yet here she was, alone on the roof once more, sulking.
Soraya sighed and leaned forward, her arms folded on the edge of the parapet. Whenever she was on the roof, she liked seeing the way her long dark brown hair spilled down against the wall, because it reminded her of one of her favorite stories. A princess had a secret lover who came to her window to see her. She let down her hair for him to climb and reach her, but he refused. He wouldn’t harm a hair on her head, he told her, and he sent for a rope instead. Soraya had revisited that story over and over again through the years, wondering if she would ever look out her window and see someone waiting for her, someone like that young man, who would care more about her safety than his own.
A foolish thought. A pointless wish. Soraya should have known better by now than to indulge in such fantasies. She had read enough stories to know that the princess and the monster were never the same. She had been alone long enough to know which one she was.
Soraya started to turn away, but then something else caught her eye. A group of young soldiers in red were standing together, gathered around one man in particular. On a second look, she confirmed her initial suspicion—that the young man in the center was the same man who had noticed her during the procession a few days ago. He was now dressed in the red tunic of the azatan, a privilege most were born into. Elevation of a commoner to the azatan was customarily the shah’s reward for those who performed great feats of courage in service to the crown. If this young man had joined the azatan, he must have performed such a feat.
Curious, Soraya took the opportunity to study him more closely. At first glance, he might have blended in with the other soldiers perfectly in their matching red tunics, but he wasn’t built like them. The others were broad-shouldered, arms roped with muscle, while this young man was tall and lean. Sinuous, Soraya thought. There was a grace to him—in the tilt of his head, in his stance, in the way he held his goblet of wine—that the others lacked, like they were all as solid as heavy wood while he was shifting liquid.
Soraya?
Soraya straightened at once, turning toward the hesitant voice. She felt strangely guilty, as if she had been caught eavesdropping—but then she saw who had addressed her, and all thought of the young man left her mind.
Laleh,
Soraya said.
With the fire behind her accentuating the golden tones in her brown hair, Laleh appeared luminous, a dark red-orange sash the color of saffron draping down from her shoulder over the lighter hues of her gown. Of course Laleh was marrying Sorush—she already had the appearance and manner of a queen.
I saw someone on the roof, and I thought it might be you,
Laleh said. She spoke with the polish of someone who was used to making conversation, but there was a note of uncertainty in her voice as well.
My mother told me the news,
Soraya said. I’m glad I have the chance to congratulate you in person.
Soraya didn’t think she sounded particularly convincing, but Laleh smiled, her shoulders relaxing. She came to stand beside Soraya at the ledge, and Soraya felt a pang in her chest, because Laleh had made no effort to count the steps between them or to look down at where Soraya’s hands were. Laleh had always been the only person to make Soraya forget she was cursed at all. Soraya turned her face so that Laleh wouldn’t see her eyes.
I was thinking the other day of how we met,
Laleh said. Do you remember?
Soraya tried to smile. Do I remember tumbling into your room by accident? How could I forget?
When she was a child, Soraya wasn’t as adept at navigating Golvahar’s secret passageways as she was now. She had miscounted a door once and ended up emerging from a secret door in the wall to Laleh’s bedchamber, tripping over her feet in the process. Soraya still remembered the baffled faces of both Laleh and Ramin, the two of them bent over some game when a strange, gloved girl fell into their room out of nowhere.
I didn’t see you come in through the wall,
Laleh said, so I thought I was dreaming until Ramin went over to you.
She shook her head in irritation. And of course his immediate reaction was to try to confront you—as if an assassin would have sent a seven-year-old girl to attack us.
Soraya smiled thinly, but as much as she loathed to admit Ramin was right about anything, he wasn’t entirely wrong to sense danger from her. While she had fumbled to open the wall panel again, Ramin had started coming closer and closer to her, asking her who she was. He had reached out a hand to her, and in her panic, she had told him not to touch her—that he would die if he did because she was poisonous. She wasn’t supposed to tell anyone, but the words had rushed out of her before she could stop