Rebirth: Triumphant Comeback 2
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Rebirth Triumphant Comeback 2
A series of poems with author given dialogue, written to minister to the heart while shedding light on the devasting effects of depression. Ladell speaks from experience, questioning her self-worth, the pain of the deafest attitude and feeling stagnated in life. Ladell shares the wisdom of God'
SHAMIKA LADELL MARSHALL
Shamika Marshall "Ladell" is a native of Alabama. She is a certified Nurse Aide with studies in Early Childhood Education. Ladell is an avid reader who loves to write inspiring and motivational poetry, short stories and novels. Rebirth Triumphant Comeback II is Ladell's fourth book.
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Rebirth - SHAMIKA LADELL MARSHALL
Introduction
I am a 40-year-old woman, a single parent, a CNA (certified nurse assistant), a teacher, and a student. I am a daughter, a sister, a niece, and a friend. However, the best of all my titles; I AM A CHILD OF GOD.
I was twenty-seven years old when I wrote my first book, which tells the story about my past. But, I didn’t start at the beginning… I want to give you insight, and take you further, by going deeper into my circumstances. I want to take you to the beginning of my story which encompasses my previous books that are no longer in publication.
I want you to know, sixteen years ago, I had a breakdown. I allowed Satan to whoop up on me and I didn’t even fight back. I couldn’t. He had me physically, mentally and emotionally. He had my mind, body, and soul. I was headed to hell with a one-way ticket; I was the pilot and the only passenger. I couldn’t sleep due to having daymares and nightmares.
I felt alone when others were around even in a room full of people. Satan was happy. He had me right where he wanted me. He wanted me to think I was alone and no one loved me. I couldn’t see the forest through the trees. I had a young child, I was out of work, I had let go of God, and he had let go of me. Satan sifted me as wheat, and I was near death. I knew I couldn’t die, but I wanted to. In my opinion, both now and then, suicide would have been a cowardly way of handling things. This is my story…
Chapter 1
I am a 27-year-old female who, in the words of my Godmother, Almost Let Go
. So, please don’t think what I’m about to tell you affects a certain type of person, age, gender, or race; none of that matters. You may know someone or may have experienced it yourself at one point in time. If so, my advice is that you LEARN TO PRAY, stay close to the Lord, and remember Matt 16:23 which says, Get thee behind me Satan thou art an offence unto me for thou savourest not the things that be of GOD but those that be of men. I write this to tell you...don’t you allow Satan to steal your joy.
A few years ago, I experienced something that I wouldn’t wish on the least significant person in my life; I had a total meltdown. I was working at a manufacturing warehouse in West Point, GA. I wasn’t getting enough rest, I was stressed out, not eating, worrying about everything but the right One. I was depressed, and I didn’t know it until it was too late. For those who don’t know about depression, it is an overall unhappy, low spirited, and sad mood. It may last two weeks or longer.
WebMD defines depression as A clinical mood disorder associated with low mood or loss of interest in activities a person once enjoyed and other symptoms that prevent a person from leading a normal life
.1 It is a whole-body illness involving your thoughts and mood; it affects the way you feel about yourself.
In Job 30:16 the Bible says, And now my soul poured out upon me, the days of affliction have taken hold upon me. In Psalm 143:7 it says, Hear me speedily Lord; my spirits failed; hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down in the pit. In other words, my heart is broken, and my depression deepens. Lord, come quickly and answer me. Don’t turn away from me or I’ll die.
The night before I ended up in the hospital, it was too late for me. I couldn’t do my job. A lot of different thoughts went through my head. I was scared and didn’t understand why. When I got off from work, I didn’t want to go home because, when I did, I heard something or someone calling my name. I was scared to go to sleep. My depression became so bad that I was afraid to be alone in the daytime. You would have thought I was going through withdrawals had you been a fly resting on the wall.
Before I ended up in the hospital, a lot of things happened. I lost my home and