Waves of Change: Growth Mindset Tools for Connected Balance
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About this ebook
Waves of Change
Growth Mindset Tools for Connected Balance
Do you know what really makes you tick? Can you articulate your core values?
Kathryn S Sebuck
A Chicago native, Kathy is a midwestern girl at heart with a wanderlust for global travel. She successfully escaped from Old Man Winter in late 2020 and now lives near the beaches of Southern California. She is a strategic thinker, entrepreneurial leader, athlete, and author with over 25 years of IT sales and marketing leadership expertise. She worked for tech startups and Fortune 500 enterprise software companies in the public and private sectors including Sun Microsystems, Verisign, Citrix, Microsoft, and SAP. Today, she provides strategic consulting services, mentors for commercial and university accelerator programs, and teaches marketing communications fundamentals and storytelling workshops to help companies increase sales and online engagement. Kathy holds a BS in Public Relations from Illinois State University, an MS in Management from Southern Nazarene University, and a Digital Marketing Professional certification from the Digital Marketing Institute in Dublin, Ireland. For more information, visit www.marchitecturemarketing.com.
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Waves of Change - Kathryn S Sebuck
Waves of Change
Waves of Change
Growth Mindset Tools for Connected Balance
Kathryn Sebuck
WAVES OF CHANGE
Growth Mindset Tools for Connected Balance
Published through IngramSpark
Copyright © 2022 by Kathryn Sebuck
Cover art copyright © 2022 by Monica Hickey
PRINT ISBN: 979-8-9855051-0-8
EBOOK ISBN: 979-8-9855051-1-5
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the author or publisher.
Acknowledgements
To my family and everyone on my path,
thank you for your support and the opportunity to learn.
To my tribe, I am eternally grateful for you and all the laughs.
Special thanks to Holly Hudson, Tanya MacIntosh,
Monica Hickey, and Twig Interactive
for your outstanding services.
This book is dedicated to my Father, who is now
a COVID-19 statistic. RIP Coach Sebuck.
About the Author
A Chicago native, Kathy is a midwestern girl at heart with a wanderlust for travel. She successfully outran Old Man Winter in late 2020, and now lives near the beaches of Southern California - once a dream, now a reality. A secret mermaid, she always wanted to live somewhere warm near the water and be active outside year-round, not freeze to death half the year. Winter PTSD is very real for some, just ask anyone from Chicago. She is a strategic thinker, entrepreneurial leader, athlete, and author with over 25 years of IT sales and marketing leadership expertise. She worked for tech startups and Fortune 500 enterprise software companies in the public and private sectors including Sun Microsystems, Verisign, Citrix, Microsoft, and SAP. Today, she provides strategic marketing consulting services, is a mentor for entrepreneurial incubator programs, and teaches marcom strategy and storytelling workshops to educate and drive business growth. Kathy holds a BS in Public Relations from Illinois State University, an MS in Management from Southern Nazarene University, and a Digital Marketing Professional certification from the Digital Marketing Institute in Dublin, Ireland. For more information, visit www.marchitecturemarketing.com.
Prologue
"There’s no secret to balance, you just have to feel the waves.’’
~ Frank Herbert
As the COVID-19 pandemic shut down the world in Spring 2020, I celebrated a milestone birthday one afternoon in my garage. My golf crew created a surprise parade of crazy
down my block from the safety of their cars. We have been playing a different kind of golf game for years across many states and countries, always focused on fun with no limits. From wearing costumes and props to sand trap marching, playing pig dice, animal headcover hide and seek, stick horse prancing, and cartwheels for big putts, we always enjoy our round since having fun is our goal. While we’ve won a few tournaments, drive contests, closest to the pin, and a couple of holes in one, the games we play are more reindeer related and just the way I like to roll - with belly laughs like teenagers because life is short.
These festivities were followed up later that evening with a socially distanced surprise birthday party in a Grand Hyatt lobby hosted by the Go Club.
The GC is always ready to go
on a new adventure and has been traveling the globe together for almost two decades, sometimes in matching t-shirts and with a pinata in tow. Since most people were sheltering in place and there was minimal risk to the hotel and to us, the hotel staff allowed this little soiree to take place on a Thursday night in April. This is when having premiere hotel status comes in handy. My celebration had cocktails, food, cupcakes, and the standard wet-your-pants
laughs. For one night, we were able to forget that the world was slowly melting down into a dark abyss. We created priceless memories just like a Mastercard commercial. To say that I am grateful for all my girlfriends is an understatement: I know not everyone has the connections they need in their life or the precious laughs to be able to let go or feel accepted, loved, and supported.
Months later as I looked back on those amazing memories, the idea for this book sparked into a flame in my imagination.
People say that a crisis or a milestone event can cause a person to stop, reflect, and make big life changes. I know this is true because I have experienced both and too many to count. These camouflaged growth opportunities have reinforced the importance of my connections to my family and friends, my relationships, accomplishments, and failures. They are reminders of how thankful I am for the tools I have learned from many on my path as I continue to navigate the changing tide of life. My gratitude and growth extends across and interconnects with so many amazing people: the alternative healers I work with to support my health and wellbeing; my long-lost brother in San Diego; my triathlon coach and dear friend who taught me there is more to life than racing; my girlfriends who laugh at and with me; my bosses who believed I could; the people on my teams who trust my skills; and my colleagues who support me. Thank you!
I believe having supportive people around you throughout your life is half the battle: they help keep you grounded when life blows up and help you celebrate everything that matters. While this is not something new, the tools you pick up along the way become staples for better navigation on the high seas. During this last year, I reconfirmed for myself how important the people in my life are and decided that anyone can benefit from new tools. I wrote this book to provide others with the same opportunity to learn, should they choose to explore as I did. I hope you find something of value here that helps you on your path. Anything good is worth sharing.
Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter One
Incoherence
Chapter Two
Balance
Chapter Three
Connection
Chapter Four
Trust
Chapter Five
Failure
Chapter Six
Karma
Chapter Seven
Flow
Connected Balance Resources
Suggested Reading List
References
Introduction
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
~ Winston Churchill
I was a busy child, a curious learner that loved to sing, dance, and laugh. I was always full of endless energy. I looked for any chance to play outside that blew off steam, running around with the neighborhood kids. My parents knew first-hand that the more energy I ran off outside, the better I would sleep – God bless them. It was my running around that made me feel alive and free, whether I was running down the block chasing someone playing flashlight tag or riding my bike pedaling as fast as I could to be the first one down the hill back to our driveway. Ready, set, go! I was always up for the challenge with anyone who wanted to take me on. Ready to play no matter what the game or who was playing. I believe that love of being outside and running led to a collegiate track career.
My Dad has been coaching high school football for over 50 years, so growing up in a house around competitive sports, I picked up a passion for competition. Determined to win at all costs no matter what the game, I felt most alive when I could hear my heart pounding in my ears and feel it beating like a drum in my chest as the beads of sweat streamed down my back. That was living in my book and the early start of my life-long need for that adrenaline fix.
It’s no wonder I spent most of my life living in extremes while I ran my body into the ground through sports to feel better about myself. Instead of learning about self-care and how to love myself for the amazing person I was, I often judged my self-worth and everything in my life by the sports I played, my fitness level, winning, and losing. The silver lining is I did pick up my parents’ strong work ethic among other great traits like unconditional love and support. That translated into becoming a successful team player in various sports and later created the invisible bridge to a successful career. Unfortunately, that did not transfer well into my personal life, the place where I would learn my most difficult life lessons.
I’ve spent the first half of my life using sports as a tool to manage stress, to find peace, and to learn. From playing three sports in high school to running indoor and outdoor track at a Division I university, and now as a sprint triathlete after 20 years of competitive age-group racing, I discovered that fitness benefits are positive when they are balanced. When left unchecked, however, the body takes the brunt of that beating and eventually shuts down, offering a sharp reminder of ignored emotional pain. Add into the mix my type A+ personality and get-it-done mentality, I ended up driving unrealistic expectations around goals and successful outcomes.
Drive is a great trait since a strong work ethic is required to reach any level of achievement. It is this type of driven mindset, though, that opened the door for years of crash-and-burn behavior patterns from my subconscious. I’ve worked hard, I’ve struggled, and I’ve been fortunate to reap the rewards of all that hard work, but it didn’t come without a price. With a successful career, financial security, a collection of triathlon medals, trophies, and plaques plus the trauma of divorce all under my belt before age 40, I was exhausted. I started to become painfully aware of the impact and the cumulative cost of my lack of personal tools and coping skills.
Over time, I had slowly shut down emotionally and had become disconnected from myself, my feelings, my needs. I started to recognize that I was attracting the same disconnection into my life. Can you say butterfly effect? It is amazing how the mind will settle back into old familiar patterns in the blink of an eye, repeating the same crash-and-burn behavior, regardless of the cost. I felt like my scorecard included more personal losses than wins