Return to Umbadinga

About the Author

Born in Shrewsbury, UK, Calie was raised by her family and the community of Broseley and Ironbridge, two beautiful Shropshire towns set in a World Heritage Site on the banks of the River Severn. In 2011, Calie moved to Palmerston North, New Zealand, with her husband Steve and three sons, Brooke, Dominick and Charles.

Dedication

To my three wonderful sons – Brooke, Dominick and Charles.

Copyright Information ©

Calie Coppinger 2022

The right of Calie Coppinger to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781528977333 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781528977340 (Hardback)

ISBN 9781528977364 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published 2022

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Chapter One

The school assembly was always boring. It invariably consisted of truancies, lack of school uniform, poor time-keeping, use of cell phones, and inappropriate language. Today was no exception.

Professor Russell Sprout, the headmaster, sat on the stage looking very glum. Totally expressionless, he watched as each class trooped into the main hall and sat down. The deputy head, Mr Patrick Fields, sat to his left looking po-faced and Miss Van Hyre, form tutor to year 8 Green, sat on his right looking suicidal.

Monday mornings were so naf, it was always a good day to throw a sickie, or miss the bus. The teachers were now all seated on the stage waiting with bated breath, for Professor Sprout to make his regular Monday morning speech.

Someone must have died, thought Esher. Perhaps war has been declared in the shires. Whatever it is, it must be bad?

Miss Van Hyre was fiddling with her fingernails three inches from her nose, she obviously had an inkling of what was coming. Professor Sprout was not his usual self, normally he would be annoyingly hyperactive and pace the stage, greeting the teaching staff with either a pat on the back or a nod, but not this morning. Professor Sprout stood up, from the neck down his body was rigid, from the neck up, he looked like he was watching a tennis match, and he still hadn’t said a word.

The auditorium was getting noisier, the natives were getting restless. Professor Sprout opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Miss Van Hyre was still fiddling with her fingernails; she was probably down to her cuticles by now.

Here we go, cue Professor Sprout. Esher laughed out loud, he was getting fed up of waiting.

This morning, I have been informed by the powers that be, that our wonderful school, Angus McCawtup High School, is under threat of closure.

A lot of rude words, Yippee’s. Yay’s. Oh no’s, and the like, could be heard in the assembly hall. Professor Sprout waited for the din to die down, then continued with his well-rehearsed speech. Apparently the school does not comply with the earthquake regulations. Unless we can raise large amounts of money to repair and re-strengthen our school, we will be forced to close. In the past, you, our pupils have come up with some very interesting ways of fundraising, and have done the school proud. I would like to ask you all to put on your thinking caps, if anyone has an idea, however silly it may seem, I would like to hear it. I’m afraid time is not on our side, if we haven’t raised the money by the end of our summer vacation, then all pupils will be offered an alternative school.

Professor Sprout had been practicing his speech that was quite obvious by the way he raced through it, quickening towards the end as if he was leaving an answer phone message.

Now, on a lighter note, Miss Ophelia Bottom, from form 8 Yellow will sing a selection of songs from a popular movie, beginning with ‘I’m the king of the swingers’. The whole school fell about laughing. Professor Sprout sat down again and stared into space, he clearly wasn’t himself, under normal circumstances he would have asked everyone to be quiet, but not today.

Ophelia Bottom was four feet eleven and a half inches tall, and the same wide. She looked as if she’d had a lifetime of hormones arrive in one week, and had a dark, downy moustache to prove it. Her two plaited pigtails would ordinarily fall down her back to her waist, but today she was wearing them in front for her performance.

With lungs like bellows, her over-developed bosom gyrated rhythmically, making it look like a litter of Shih Tzus had taken up residence inside her school blouse.

Fortunately for everyone, the school bell rang for the end of assembly, drowning Ophelia’s awful screechy voice, which could be likened to dragging Styrofoam over a leather shoe, it really was that bad. The timing of the bell was perfect, as there were five desperate pupils about to break the glass on the fire alarm, all were literally saved by the bell, and certainly spared a detention.

The assembly hall emptied in record time, pupils were buzzing with the impending school closure. Esher and Justin chatted as they made their way down the corridor towards the geology classroom, being jostled by elbows, rucksacks and excited children.

They had an idea to present to Professor Sprout, and needed to get permission from Miss Van Hyre to leave her class for a while.

Miss Van Hyre was sat at her desk, still fiddling with her fingernails, her medication obviously hadn’t kicked in yet.

Excuse me, Miss, can Justin and I have permission to go and speak with Professor Sprout?

Esher asked.

Miss Van Hyre looked up from her fidgety fingers and nodded.

Yes, but please don’t be all day about it, she said sternly.

Cheers Miss, said Justin, grabbing Esher by the arm. The two boys turned quickly, and ran out of the classroom before she had chance to change her mind.

Well, if it isn’t Esher Venn and Justin Case, said Professor Sprout rocking back on his chair. He was now perched on the two back legs, jammed against the window ledge. The professor looked like a frog on a rock, if he let go of the desk now, he would be a goner. What can I do for you two adventurers, sit down, grab a seat?

Well Sir, you asked for pupils to come forward if they had any ideas for raising funds to save our school, said Esher calmly.

I did indeed.

We’ve got an idea to put to you Sir, said Justin.

Well, Sir, it’s like this, Esher didn’t really know where to begin.

Come on Esher, get to the point. I don’t have all day, I’m a busy man you know.

Yes, Sir, sorry.

Justin suddenly chirped in and took over the conversation.

When we were in Umbadinga, we saw lots of coloured stones which looked like semi-precious stones. Also, pearls, thousands of pearls, the Rangoonies use them as ammunition.

You’re both still sticking to that story then, boys?

Yes, Sir, that’s because it’s true. We’re not telling lies, said Justin emphatically.

Sir, I brought pearls back in my pockets. I took them to ‘Threadam and Wareham’ the local jewellers, and they made them into a necklace and earrings for my mum. She thinks they’re fake, but in reality, they are worth a fortune. I’ve got a valuation certificate to prove it Sir. I’ll show you if you don’t believe me, Esher insisted.

Sir, we would like to go back to Umbadinga and bring back some treasure to help the school.

Boys, it’s a wonderful thought, but I would like to see proof. I’m still not convinced that you ever went to Umba thingy. Evidence boys. Evidence, said Professor Sprout struggling to pull himself upright, then disappearing, chair and all, under the desk.

I really must stop doing that, he said loudly. I am a busy man you know.

We’ll be back tomorrow, Sir, with the evidence, said Esher gritting his teeth.

First thing in the morning, Sir. Nine o’clock, Justin was in his authoritative mood. Mondays did that to him, he hated Mondays.

Esher and Justin looked at one another, then looked at Professor Sprout. Still doing an upside-down tortoise impression under his desk.

The boys helped the Professor to his feet, repositioned the chair, and folded him into it. They started to walk towards the office door, and looked back at the poor dishevelled Professor.

Nine o’clock in the morning, Sir, said Justin.

The boys walked off down the corridor back to their geology class.

What a plonker, He looks like he’s just been electrocuted, said Esher laughing. He’s such a busy man, you know.

Chapter Two

Esher and Justin leant against the wall outside Professor Sprout’s office. It was eight fifty-five, for once they were both early for something. Esher was clutching a large brown envelope, his evidence, and proof that the pearls were genuine. All he needed to do now was to convince Professor Sprout.

Here he comes, said Justin, removing the sole of his shoe from the wall.

Professor Sprout came sailing down the corridor and cornered, rather badly, into his office. He threw a pile of papers, envelopes and books onto his desk, and proceeded to take off his tweed jacket.

Good morning boys, have you brought me evidence? the Professor sounded much happier than he did the previous day.

Yes, Sir, we have, said Esher, pulling out the envelope from under his arm.

Grab a seat then. Grab a seat. I haven’t got all day. I’m a busy man you know.

Esher raised his eyes and twitched his eyebrows in Justin’s direction. Justin grinned and did his impression of a pufferfish as he sat down.

Professor Sprout sat down at his desk, remaining on all four chair legs this time. He pulled himself into the desk until his huge, fat belly was resting on the top. His floral, banana yellow braces holding up his pants were pushed to their elastic limits. The pattern was stretched and distorted so badly that the flowers looked like well-chewed gum stuck on a park bench.

Let me see what you’ve got boys, he said stretching both arms over the desk. His bare, hairy belly winked at them through the gaping buttons of his shirt.

Esher slid the brown envelope across the desktop into the professors waiting hands.

Mmmm, nice Esher, valuable too, but I’m still not convinced.

Look Sir, Esher and Justin both took out a handful of pearls from their pockets, and offered them up underneath Professor Sprout’s nose, as if he should sniff them.

Professor Sprout grabbed each of their wrists and lowered their arms out of his personal space, then took a few pearls from each hand.

Mmmmm, yes, very nice, he slipped a pearl between his teeth and bit down. He bit down a little too hard…He dropped both handfuls of pearls, sending them bouncing across the desktop and onto the carpet.

Water, Water…pour me some water. Quickly, he croaked.

Esher ran to the cabinet by the door where there was a tray full of beverages and cookies.

He poured some water into a mug and passed it to Justin.

Water, water, I’m choking.

Here you are, Sir, Justin passed him the mug of water, then proceeded to bang Professor Sprout hard on the back.

Professor Sprout coughed and spluttered for a few minutes. Unfortunately, the swallowed pearl had gone, never to be seen again. Professor Sprout was certainly not the type to scrutinise his own stools for the sake of a semiprecious stone. He took another gulp of water and sighed deeply.

Well, that didn’t go well. Sorry boys.

That’s okay, Sir, there’s plenty more where they came from, said Esher.

Professor Sprout kept sipping his water. His elastic braces were now expanding and contracting with every breath.

I really would like to believe you boys, but you must admit that it is rather whacky.

Yes, Sir, we understand, said Justin.

If the pearls won’t convince you, then cast your eyes over this, Sir, Esher held out his hand with a huge green stone sitting neatly in his palm.

What’s that, Esher? the Professor asked.

Apparently, it’s an emerald. An uncut emerald, said Esher proudly.

How do you know? asked Professor Sprout.

Threadam and Wareham, Sir, their gemologist took a look at it, he said it was an uncut emerald. And what’s more, it is worth a small fortune, said Esher, sounding very excited.

Mmmm, let me have a think about it, boys. I’m sorry about your pearl.

No problem, Sir, we’ve got more, Esher grinned.

I’ll think about it overnight and speak to you both in the morning, he flicked through his diary. Mmmm, I can move that to ten, and get Miss Carey to rearrange that, and yes, okay. Same time tomorrow morning boys, I’ll clear it with Miss Van Hyre.

Like deja-vu, the boys appeared in the corridor outside Professor Sprout’s office. Justin’s footprint was still on the wall from the previous day.

Cleaners aren’t too good around here, he thought, as Professor Sprout came bounding down the corridor with Miss Van Hyre in tow. The Professor had been a physical training instructor in the army, a million years ago, and despite his rotund appearance, he was pretty damn fit. Poor Miss Van Hyre was having trouble keeping up with him.

Go on in boys, he shouted, grab a seat.

Justin and Esher did as they were told. Morning Miss, said Esher smiling.

Good morning, boys, she replied, looking around the room for a spare chair.

Miss Carey, bring me another chair, shouted the professor in his deep, fog-horn of a voice. The interconnecting door swung open, in walked Miss Carey wheeling a chair, glaring through slitty evil eyes at the ill-mannered headmaster.

Would anyone like a coffee? the Professor asked.

Three yes pleases, rang out.

Four coffees, Miss Carey, he shouted using the same volume and tone as before. Miss Carey was standing right in front of him this time. She clenched both fists and pursed her lips in anger.

Milk and sugar, everyone? she asked in a forced, sweet mousey voice.

Three yes pleases, rang out again, as Miss Carey spun on her heels and stomped out of the room.

Bring your chair up to the desk, Caro, come and sit by the boys.

Miss Van Hyre was on automatic pilot, she sat down on her wheelie chair and scooted it over towards the desk, squashing in between Justin and Esher. Caro began to fiddle nervously with her fingers again.

I’m surprised she’s not down to her knuckles by now, thought Esher, ‘the woman’s a wreck.’

Right. Let’s get this party started, Professor Sprout laughed.

Caro, the boys came to see me on Monday as you know, to discuss the problem of fundraising to save the school. Yesterday, they came to see me again with some items that they claim came from their adventure in Umba something.

Esher, tell Miss Van Hyre your proposal, together with any evidence, if you still have it.

Sure thing, Sir. Well, Justin and I would like to try and get back to Umbadinga. It is literally another world. We brought back pearls, beautiful pearls, and a stone that I found on the beach was inspected by a gemologist. It turned out that the stone is an uncut emerald, both the emerald and the pearls are very valuable. We thought if we went back to Umbadinga, we could bring back some precious and semiprecious stones, and sell them to raise funds for the school.

That’s it in a nutshell, said Justin. What do you think Miss?

The door was suddenly flung open, making them all jump. Miss Carey walked in carrying a tray of coffee and cookies, she laid them down noisily on the professor’s desk and left the room again.

Miss Van Hyre looked at the boys and smiled.

Did you really go to another world, boys? she asked.

Sure did. Miss, said Esher.

Come back with us Miss and see for yourself. You’re a geologist, you know about stones and rocks. Come back with us. Esher couldn’t believe what he’d just said. Miss Van Hyre was a bag of nerves; she would be a liability.

Miss Van Hyre smiled. That knowing smile that says ‘not bloody likely.’

Well, Caro, Esher is quite correct. You are a geologist; you would be a great asset. It would also ensure that you retain your position here at Angus McCawtup High School. We are the only school in the area that offers geology, so young lady, that’s something to think about, Professor Sprout sounded very serious.

Justin glared at Esher with a look that could kill.

I can’t believe he just invited Miss Van Hyre to come back with us. The muppet, what’s he thinking?

If you go back to Umba thingy, don’t you think the party should be larger? I wouldn’t feel happy just the two of you going back to a strange world. It’s my belief that it should be a small group, including teachers. That way we can pass it off as a geology field trip. What do you think of that idea? The two boys looked at each other and smiled.

That sounds like the start of a plan, Sir, said Esher.

I like it. Yes, I like it. Justin looked stoked.

What I would like you two boys to do is to think about who you would like in your geology party. Miss Van Hyre will be coming and I will speak with Mr Fields, Professor Sprout had obviously been giving it a lot of thought overnight.

Miss Van Hyre didn’t say a word. She had been backed into a corner, with the threat of her job on the line. The poor woman was sweating bullets, she hated every minute of Summerville Caves last time, and that was nothing compared to Umbadinga. It would probably be a good idea for her to book herself a nice little holiday at the laughing academy on her return.

Professor Sprout, Justin and I are already one step ahead of you. We know who we would like in our group, if they would agree to come back.

Really, you boys have been busy planning. So, who would you like in your team?

Well, Sir, we would like Ellie Mantle, Wiremu Weepu, Mr Dick Withers, the school bus driver, and his twin brother Mr Bill Withers, and of course, Justin and myself, said Esher. Oh yes, and Miss Van Hyre and Mr Fields if they’re willing and able.

Eight of you, sounds like a safe number. It will be recorded as a geology field trip, supervised by two members of the teaching staff. Yes, I like it boys. I guess it’s worth a try.

Justin and Esher, I would like you to speak to Ellie and Wiremu. I will speak with Mr Withers and his brother. We will schedule a meeting for next Monday morning at nine o’clock, here in my office. How does that sound?

Sounds good, Sir, said Justin, with the start of a grin twitching in his cheeks.

Great Sir, thanks, said Esher.

Justin and Esher stood up to leave. Miss Van Hyre remained seated, she hadn’t said a word.