The Me I Couldn't See: A Journey Into Authenticity
()
About this ebook
If anyone would have said to me years ago that I would be talking and teaching about energetic healing and co-creating with God, I would have laughed and considered them one of those "woo-woo" types. You know, the airy fairy new-age whack job! That's before my life crashed and burned and I found "The Me I Couldn't See".
Alison Astara
Alison's path was one of pain, illness, trauma, unworthiness, fear, death and failure. Her journey to find authenticity led her on a path toward discovery of something much larger than herself, into the secrets and mysteries of the Universe beyond what we typically know and understand. She now guides people all over the world from every faith and background to go beyond their limiting circumstances into Authenticity.
Related to The Me I Couldn't See
Related ebooks
Kissing Frogs: Lessons, Blessings, and Notes-To-Self to Help You Find (And Keep) Your Prince Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDare to Hope Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRelationships: And the Things We Don’T Talk About Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsReset: A New Beginning Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Letter to America: Is President Bush Leading Us in the Right Direction? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDo's, Don'ts and Doughnuts Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGirl, Let That Sh*t Go!: Empowering Women to Get Through Toxic Relationships, Take Back Their Power & Own Their Badassery Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMe‚ Her‚ Us Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsI’M Gaining on You: All Things Work Together for Good Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAll About Love: A Guide To Evolving Relationships Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDear Stranger, I Know How You Feel Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhat I Wish I Knew When I Was 22 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Rebel Method - The Ultimate Guide to Managing Anxiety and Depression Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGotta Be Shifting Me Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRock Your Comeback: The Down-to-Earth Guide to Reclaiming Your Power Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Diary of a Platonic Co-Parent: One Man's Search For an Alternative Family Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTell Me Where It Hurts: Poetry, Meditations, and Divinely-inspired Love Notes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsJoy out of Sorrow: A Birth Mother’s Journey of Healing Through His Mercy Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Inner Child Healing: Heal Your Wounds. Train Your Mind. Create A New You. Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSad Bitch to Bad Bitch Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHealing and Acceptance: The Path To Self Love And Improvement Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Rules of Love Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAddicted To Pain: Renew Your Mind & Heal Your Spirit From A Toxic Relationship In 30 Days by Rainie Howard: Conversation Starters Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUps and Downs of Life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAcceptance is the Beginning of Change: Motivational and Inspirational Memoir Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Things Only Get Worse to Get Better Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Seriously, This Is Online Dating? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFashionably Late: A Sexy Little Twist to Revitalize You and ReDesign Your Life! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSummary of Rebecca Serle ́s Book in Five Years Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Body, Mind, & Spirit For You
Experiencing God (2021 Edition): Knowing and Doing the Will of God Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Shadow Work: Face Hidden Fears, Heal Trauma, Awaken Your Dream Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Wild at Heart Expanded Edition: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Secret History of the World Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Think and Grow Rich (Illustrated Edition): With linked Table of Contents Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Don't Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking Is The Beginning & End Of Suffering Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Energy Codes: The 7-Step System to Awaken Your Spirit, Heal Your Body, and Live Your Best Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Hidden Messages in Water Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Be Here Now Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Immortality Key: The Secret History of the Religion with No Name Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Practicing the Power of Now: Essential Teachings, Meditations, and Exercises from the Power of Now Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Power of Your Subconscious Mind Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mediocre Monk: A Stumbling Search for Answers in a Forest Monastery Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Game of Life And How To Play It Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Course in Miracles: Text, Workbook for Students, Manual for Teachers Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Egyptian Book of the Dead: The Complete Papyrus of Ani Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Scientific Healing Affirmations Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5It Starts with Self-Compassion: A Practical Road Map Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Trust Your Heart: Lead Your Journey to Self-Discovery From Within Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Emotional Intelligence: Exploring the Most Powerful Intelligence Ever Discovered Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Captivating Expanded Edition: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Shadow Work Book 1: Understanding and Making Peace with Your Darker Side Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5As A Man Thinketh: Three Perspectives Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Conversations With God, Book 3: Embracing the Love of the Universe Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom (Hardcover Gift Edition): A Tarot Journey to Self-Awareness Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5THE EMERALD TABLETS OF THOTH THE ATLANTEAN Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Lost Books of the Bible: The Rejected Texts, Apocrypha and Pseudepigrapha Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Reviews for The Me I Couldn't See
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
The Me I Couldn't See - Alison Astara
ISBN 978-1-957943-51-0 (paperback)
ISBN 978-1-957943-52-7 (digital)
Copyright © 2022 by Alison Astara
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.
Rushmore Press LLC
1 800 460 9188
www.rushmorepress.com
Printed in the United States of America
Table of Contents
About the Book
Introductory Overview
Chapter 1: From Heaven to Earth Into The Three Dimensional Box
Chapter 2: Learning About Humanity
Chapter 3: Kindergarten: Meet The Bully
Chapter 4: Finding Creator in Religion
Chapter 5: Terror in the House!
Chapter 6: Learning Compassion and Shame
Chapter 7: Oscar The Monkey
Chapter 8: The Birthday Party from Hell
Chapter 9: Middle School Cheerleader
Chapter 10: My Carrie
Experience
Chapter 11: If You Can’t Beat ’Em, Join ’Em
Chapter 12: Marrying My Dad
Chapter 13: Marrying The Mob
Chapter 14: Attracting The Narcissist
Chapter 15: Demons, Demons Everywhere!
Chapter 16: Life Changing Decisions
Chapter 17: Marrying for All the Right Reasons
Chapter 18: Dark Night of the Soul
Chapter 19: The Mind-Body-Spirit Connection Facing Death After Facing Death!
Chapter 20: Checking Out Once and For All
Chapter 21: Gifts From Egypt
Chapter 22: Traveling Beyond Time
Chapter 23: What Blocks Authenticity?
Chapter 24: Finding Your Inner Voice
Chapter 25: How Do I Remove My Blocks?
Chapter 26: Human Guides & Healers
Chapter 27: Letting Go of Old Ways and People We’ve Outgrown
Chapter 28: Head vs. Heart
Chapter 29: Beginning The Journey
Epilogue
"A Successful Man
is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him."
--David Brinkley
The biggest wake-up call in life is realizing you are so programmed by your own emotions and society that you don’t know who you really are.
--Alison Astara
ABOUT THE BOOK
This book is a fictional work based on a true story of one woman’s journey into authenticity. The names and places in the book are purely fictional and are not meant to identify any particular person or place.
The purpose of this book is to encourage people, especially women, that they are much greater than they ever dreamed possible; much more powerful than any trial or obstacle. By tapping into the authentic you, you can create miracles and change your life the way you want it to be. It doesn’t mean you won’t experience pain. Pain is a part of life. But you will learn which kinds of experiences and people work for you in life and which ones don’t, and you can make decisions that strengthen and support yourself rather than self-sabotage.
This book is dedicated to anyone who has ever felt like a victim. You have a choice to liberate yourself. Let the stories in this book show you a way to find your authentic power and purpose of your life, and introduce you to The Me I Couldn’t See
. What you will find there is more beautiful than you ever dreamed possible!
INTRODUCTORY OVERVIEW
Each man’s life represents a road toward himself.
- Herman Hesse
If anyone would have said to me 20 years ago that I would be writing a book about how to change your life, I would have laughed. My life had been cycling in negative patterns for years. Finally, the cycling finished its course, I crashed and burned, and I found The Me I Couldn’t See.
As I look back on my life, it has been full of experiences that took me on a journey to discover who I really am--not the little girl that grew up the daughter of an alcoholic father; not the younger sister who was pushed forward because she was the extrovert
; not the teenager who sought love through boys who were willing to say they loved her; not the A
student who graduated at 16 because she was way beyond her years intellectually; not the young wife who needed so desperately to have a baby so she could love and be loved; not the divorcee who kept on hoping that one of these guys she married would really understand who she was and just simply love her. None of these experiences defined who I was. They were simply experiences that I designed to find myself… the authentic me.
Many of my first 35 years were full of traumatic experiences, but I gave birth to three wonderful girls whom I deeply loved. It was because of them I had a reason to live and I never gave up. I know that sounds dramatic, but my life was dramatic! I have been through situations that most people only have nightmares about. If you believe in karma, I definitely had lots to resolve. I married several times, setting myself up by selecting relationships that couldn’t achieve authentic love or emotional intimacy. I have had to face death on many levels, including an illness that diagnosed me as having six months to live and then a massive head injury from a fall that caused me to die and return in an instant.
After many tragic experiences, I felt I had started over so many times that I didn’t know if I had the energy to do it again. But, in spite of the drama and the trauma, at a certain point in my life I sold everything I owned at a garage sale (which tells you how well things were going) and started over. I had $200 to my name and what was in my van. I left my 12-year old daughter with my Mom until I could find a new job in another state. I knew it was time to completely break a life pattern and begin anew. I was tired and I was sick, but I had developed many skills in marketing, medicine, and entertainment. I was determined to be successful and prepare a place to live for my youngest daughter and me that was drama-free.
I am thankful that I had a true friend. That’s the kind you can call after not seeing them for 25 years and they say, Come stay with me. I’ll help
. Stephanie helped me get back on my feet and encouraged me that she had made just as many mistakes as me (which at the time was very hard for me to believe). I’ll never forget her faith, kindness and generosity; but the most valuable thing she did was to reflect back to me all my good qualities.
Within a few weeks, I secured a job in radio broadcasting as a sales person. It didn’t pay much of a salary, but the potential for commissions was great. That first year I made more money than I ever had in my life, and it skyrocketed from there. I was able to put all my performing arts and marketing skills to use, and found that my intuitive abilities helped my clients and made me a top seller at the station. That was the next phase (and most important) of my journey into The Me I Couldn’t See
. I would learn much about myself over the next 20 years, and would face some of the toughest challenges anyone can possibly face in this lifetime; grief, humiliation, betrayal, grave illness and a COMPLETE RESURRECTION! All of the endings brought new beginnings, and for that I am grateful.
I want to share my story with you because I think it might help you in some way. Perhaps it might even save you from some of the darkness I went through. So, if you are at a place in your life where nothing is working, guess what? You’re right on track! Now, just look inside your heart. The Me I Couldn’t See is waiting there to meet you.
Alison Astara
CHAPTER 1
From Heaven to Earth Into The Three Dimensional Box
Heaven means to be one with Creator.
- Confucius
Weighing in at six pounds, I was the fifth child of my clan. I joined a quartet of siblings—three brothers and a sister. I loved my new family, and was ready for lots of cuddling, sleeping and eating.
My father was a dashingly handsome man with a 1940s movie star’s persona. With a medium build and sun-tanned Norwegian skin, he was strikingly attractive, with penetratingly large, dark eyes, and hair that was immaculately trimmed to draw attention to his Clark Gable moustache. I adored him, and he adored me. He loved all his children, especially when they were little, but his two little girls always seemed to warm his heart with delight. When he was clear-headed, he cherished us as precious treasures to be handled with loving care.
Unfortunately, the dark side of my father’s ego identity did not quite live up to his external persona. While seemingly confident and debonair, internally he suffered from a continual lack of confidence and an intense sense of failure. Feeling powerless to live up to his own potential, he drank away his pain, and our family life was scarred by the ravages of alcoholism. I spent years overcoming the damage done to my psyche as a result of this disease and my misunderstandings and misperceptions about myself and love because of it.
Alcohol numbed my father’s sense of responsibility, especially where money and parenting were concerned. His interest in raising children waned as soon as we were out of diapers, so my mother was left to raise us with inadequate support emotionally and materially.
Mom was of hearty stock. She was raised on acreage in the country, and her mother was the queen of making lemonade from whatever life brought forth, most of which were lemons during the Great Depression. My grandmother had suffered greatly her entire life, and yet could always find the time for a hug, a smile, and little love. She taught my Mom how to survive in the worst of conditions, and that is exactly what my Mom did most of her adult life while having to endure the pitfalls of an alcoholic husband. She survived. She learned how to raise five children on her own. With the burden of financial scarcity, she also went to work to support us and make sure we had clothes and shoes.
Mom was often embittered by the fact that my father was irresponsible, and the fighting over money and alcohol was a constant happening in our home. Yet, while my Mom tried to focus on doing things that were positive, she exhibited anger and resentment over my father’s actions. She didn’t realize that we could also sense and feel her pain and desperation. She worked hard not to say negative things to us about our father, and she thought that by not talking about his alcoholism, she would spare