Dapper Dan: A Yellow Lab Of Texas Romance
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About this ebook
Lexie Landon's heart belongs to two men. Her beloved yellow lab, Dan, and her high school sweetheart Nathan Jamison.
Good ol' loyal and faithful Dan. He worships her with adoring eyes and loves her unconditionally. Lying no-good Nathan. Handsome hunky sweet talker who stole her heart all those years ago--and then smashed it to pieces.
One sleeps in Lexie's bed. The other in the doghouse.
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Dapper Dan - Mattie Fern Worrix
Copyright Notice
Copyright 2022 Mattie Fern Worrix
All Rights Reserved
This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
All characters and events portrayed in this book are fictional, and any resemblance to real people or incidents is purely coincidental.
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202206080317
All You Need is Love and a Labrador
~ spotted on a tee shirt
Chapter 1 - Lexie
The Lampman residence out on Laughter Lane always smells like garlic and by the time I leave I’m usually craving spaghetti or my mom’s super yummy deep dish lasagna.
Mrs. Lampman insists I call her Miss Addie
and she kinda reminds me of old pictures I’ve seen of Ladybird Johnson in the Texas history books.
Dan, my yellow lab, and I walked across the living room floor, and I quickly peeked under the ornate gold and maroon-colored couch to see if Jonesy might be hiding there.
Jonesy is Miss Addie’s beloved orange ginger cat, and even though I’ve been his pet sitter for several years now, and have been out multiple times, Jonesy and I have never, not once, met face to face.
Miss Addie, now in her mid-80s, still loves her Carnival cruises to exotic places, so she uses Dapper Dan’s Pet Sitting quite often, but I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting Jonesy in person. Or even in a photo. I know, because I’ve looked. I’ve searched the house trying to find a picture of him up on the wall here in the house.
Nope, Dan,
I said, as he hopped up on the fancy couch like he owned the joint, and I immediately pulled him off by his collar. Never met hide nor hair of Jonesy. Not once.
Dan took off down the hallway, his nails clicking, to snoop all the new and delicious smells in the older house as I headed toward the kitchen to refill the cat food and water dishes.
I have to admit, I like Miss Addie’s choice of colors and fabrics for her home. Lots of pinks and maroons with gold accents.
Gives me some ideas for the line of doggie wear I’m hatching in my brain. There’s that whole big area at the Dapper Dan’s Pet Sitting office where I’ve been daydreaming I’d like to start selling my doggie fashions--which I plan to call Lab Coats by Lexie.
All of this is still just poorly-drawn stick dog-figures scribbled in a pizza stained spiral notebook, of course. But, in my mind, it’s gonna be awesome.
Doggie fashions for Labrador retriever hunting dogs, bird dogs and more. My hope is to branch out eventually (Partywear for Poodles, Pajamas for Pugs, and so on) but since I have the perfect doggie model in Dan, it’s a good place to start.
Dan, naturally, hates wearing coats and sweaters but he puts up with me. When I was a kid, my mom said I dressed up all my pets. Even put a pink tutu on Buttermilk, my white rat.
The scent of garlic tickled my nose and was even more intense in the kitchen. I picked up the dishes off the kitchen table and as I rinsed the small china dishes in Miss Addie’s kitchen sink I noticed each one was decorated with tiny blue flowers and etched with lavender-colored trim.
I hummed to myself, taking comfort in knowing each day I come to care for Jonesy that the food dish is always licked clean and the water level is low.
Because that’s my only real proof the shy kitty exists. Like I said, I haven’t seen a photo of him up anywhere in the house. And Miss Addie seems to like her family photos. It’s odd there’s none of Jonesy. At least that I could find.
Sometimes though, Twilight Zone-type story plots mess with my brain.
Like, for example, what if Jonesy doesn’t even exist? What if Miss Addie is some batshit crazy old lady?
And like maybe she hires Dapper Dan’s Pet Sitting (me) to keep the whole nutty charade going.
Because after two years doesn’t it seem odd that I haven’t spotted him once or twice? Catch a glimpse of his fluffy orange tail dashing up the staircase or see him flitting around the rose bushes in the backyard.
It’s just kinda weird.
And then there’s the litter box. There’s never anything to be pooper-scooped in the gray plastic box filled with white crystals and those tiny blue flecks that Miss Addie keeps next to the large clawfoot tub in the salmon pink bathroom.
Okay, I suppose the logical explanation is that since Jonesy has a pet door, to go in and out of the house as he pleases, then he just does his toilet stuff outside.
But you would think at least once during all this time Jonesy would think, Hey, I’m all comfy and cozy here inside--maybe I’ll just whizz once in the litter box--so I don’t have to brave the elements and go outside.
Nope. That litter box is super duper clean. Always. Even Dan checks it out looking for kitty almond roca.
Yep. Definitely strange.
I finished adding more kitty kibble to the food dish--as well as a small can of wet Fancy Feast--grilled chicken with greens--when I heard a loud slurping sound coming from the bathroom down the hall.
I felt a flash of irritation--and knew immediately what Dan was up to.
Knock it off,
I called out, as I quickly headed toward the bathroom. I caught him with his big ole bulbous Lab nose plunged in the toilet bowl. He stopped, looked up at me all innocent-like, and wagged his tail.
Drops of toilet water dribbled on the floor around the toilet and I leaned over and pulled off a few sheets of toilet paper to dab them up. I tossed those into the toilet and then I grabbed several more sheets and dabbed Dan’s muzzle.
"I’m not kissing you on