Red Wagon Stories; or, Tales Told Under the Tent
By Wells Hawks
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Red Wagon Stories; or, Tales Told Under the Tent - Wells Hawks
Wells Hawks
Red Wagon Stories; or, Tales Told Under the Tent
EAN 8596547326595
DigiCat, 2022
Contact: [email protected]
Table of Contents
THE PRESS AGENT’S STORY.
THE OLD GRAFTER’S LAMENT.
THE BILL POSTER’S VISIT.
THE CANDY BUTCHER’S DREAM OF LOVE.
THE BOSS CANVASMAN’S YARN.
THE SIDE SHOW SPIELER SPEAKS.
THE BAND MASTER’S SOLO
THE CANDY BUTCHER TALKS ABOUT A LOVE AFFAIR AND HIS ENCOUNTER WITH THE BUCKWHEAT MAN.
THE CONCERT MANAGER GETS REMINISCENT.
THE HANDS AT THE WINDOW.
THE CONCERT MANAGER TELLS THE BOYS AN ELEPHANT YARN.
THE PRESS AGENT’S STORY.
Table of Contents
The Press Agent of the Big Show had formerly been dramatic editor of the leading daily in Council Bluffs. It was his star boast that he was the only critic in the Middle West that ever had the nerve to roast Joe Jefferson, and he said he did it in the interest of art.
Art,
says he, must be preserved, an’ the only way to do it is by knockin’.
The Press Agent wore his hair long, had a smooth face, and looked like a police reporter out on a three-column story with the facts coming in slowly. He hadn’t much baggage, but he always carried about a ream of adjective hit paper, two lead pencils, and a pass-pad. No man ever heard him talk without wondering what kind of stuff he beat out on a typewriter.
The saw dust spreader was smoothing out the ring for the night acts and the rest of the gang were sitting around roasting the route when the Press Agent came through the red curtains at the dressing tent entrance picking his teeth with a straw. He sat down on the box where the Greaser Knife Thrower kept his keen steels, and filling his pipe waited for a break in the conversation. Then he asked the gasoline man for a match. After he got the fire he saw there were no words loose from the ring-bankers, so he starts his skein.
"Well, lads, we hit ’em up hard at the mat today, 12,000 on the blue boards an’ the ticket wagon window down before the harness is on for the entree. S’pose them laddy-bucks in No. 2 car will say it was a good billin’, but I’m tellin’ you people that this is a readin’ community, an’ it was the press work that had the coin hittin’ the window this date, an’ that’s no cold cream con, either. The Gov’nor knows it, for he gives me a good word an’ a back pat jus’ as the parade was startin’ for the main highway.
"I’m given youse the real word, an’ it’s this—when you can get ’em readin’ about the Big Show you’ve already got ’em feelin’ for change to buy, an’ that’s as true as ticker talk. The old man sees in the paper that the Big Show will soon be on the lot, an’ when he gets home to daily bread he tells it to the old woman; the kids get next and there’s no let up on papa ’till he promises to buy in for the whole family. An’ workin’ one is workin’ all—that’s my motto. It’s the press work that gets ’em talkin’, an’ it’s the talkin’ that’ll make ’em give up even when wheat is down to 48 an’ interest on mortgages is starin’ ’em in the face. Get the paper talk an’ the money is so sure that you can be plannin’ new acts for next season before the first pasteboard hits the bottom of the red box on the gate.
"But, say, it ain’t no children’s game to get this paper talk. The good old days when you could blow into the newspaper offices with a loud vest and a tiger claw hangin’ on your watch guard is done. Them times the old agent would lay down a cigar on the editor’s desk, spread a lot of salve about the greatest yet and the only one in captivity story, and then work the gag ‘write me somethin’, old man.’ But them days is strictly past. It’s a new make up now, an’ a new line of talk that wins ’em. You want to enter quiet like just as if you were one of them Sunday school boys with a write-up on a rally in the church basement. The editor gives you the size-up for this, an’ when you says ‘I’m ahead of the Big Show comin’ 25th and 26th,’ he’s so surprised that he’s glad to see you, an’ it’s once aroun’ the track before the bunch sees the flag that he asks you out to drink before you spring your pass-pad. And, if you don’t believe me, ask soft talking Jim Jay Brady and have it passed off for gospel.
"It’s the approach that makes the center shot this new century. Go in easy, be skimp with your talk, don’t spread the salve too