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    Right in Front of Me
    Right in Front of Me
    Right in Front of Me
    Ebook43 pages41 minutes

    Right in Front of Me

    By Mandy Bee

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    About this ebook

    Mental health is not a dirty little secret. You are not alone.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMandy Bee
    Release dateOct 12, 2022
    ISBN9798215025147
    Right in Front of Me

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      Book preview

      Right in Front of Me - Mandy Bee

      PROLOGUE

      The darkness has covered me in its fog once again. I can’t tell which is worse, the physical pain or the emotional pain. Knowing I need a release I reach into my nightstand for my knife. This isn’t something I’m proud of. Self-harm isn’t my go to every time the darkness comes to haunt me. If I could, I would have already called Axe. Too bad he’s at his parents beach house this weekend.

      Axe would be so mad at me right now. I can hear his voice screaming at me that cutting myself isn’t the answer. Tink, you can’t keep doing this shit. Making yourself bleed won’t cure you. It won’t fix what’s going on in your head.

      Even though I know he’s right it still doesn’t stop me from letting the knife slide across my wrist. Usually I cut on my legs, my stomach and sometimes between my toes. The easy to hide places. Tonight I don’t have the energy to do that.

      The pain isn’t enough tonight. Usually one cut and I can think clearly again. On bad nights I’ve had to cut more than once, so I move the blade four more times to create a star like pattern on the inside of my wrist. I can feel the blood running down my hand and onto my bed.

      My mind is still racing. The cutting isn’t helping. Why isn’t it helping? I need more, I have to have more! I start cutting into my other wrist, using the same star pattern. It takes a couple of minutes, but I finally start feeling the calmness wash over me. The fog is lifting. Once my head clears I’ll clean up my wounds. I close my eyes and start taking slow deep breaths. Even with the fog gone, the darkness is still with me. It never leaves me.

      CHAPTER 1

      The light in the room is so bright. Even with my eyes shut I can see it. I try to roll over so I can burry my head in my pillow, but a sharp pain goes straight up my back into my shoulders. I must have slept on my back all night. That’s never a good thing. I always wake up sore as shit when I do that.

      Ginger, are you ok? Can you hear me? Why is my mother in my room? Hell, why is she in my apartment?

      Opening my eyes seems to be impossible. Answering her isn’t possible either. What the hell is going on? Why do I feel like I’ve been drugged.

      I have no doubt that she can hear you, I hear a male voice say. but the sedative we had to give her hasn’t had time to wear off yet. She needs to rest right now anyways. Sedative? What the fuck?

      How long will you be keeping her? My mother asks him.

      Ma’am until I can ask your daughter what happened I can’t answer that. I can’t just take your word that she tried to kill herself. If she did she will be committed to the psychiatric ward of the hospital. I hear a door close. The man, who is most likely a doctor, must have left the room.

      Psychiatric ward? Some would say that’s my home away from home. I can’t tell you how many times my mother has stuck me in there because she felt I was a danger to myself. Too bad she’s never taken the

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