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    When the Casseroles Are Gone: The Faith Community's Response to Grief
    When the Casseroles Are Gone: The Faith Community's Response to Grief
    When the Casseroles Are Gone: The Faith Community's Response to Grief
    Ebook97 pages1 hour

    When the Casseroles Are Gone: The Faith Community's Response to Grief

    By Daniel Dixson

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    About this ebook

    We often hear about the role of individuals in responding to grief, but what is the role of the faith community? Can we respond in a planned and effective way as a community in supporting those among us who are dealing with loss?

    Dan Dixson, pastor, counselor, and consultant with extensive experience in dealing with grief and managing programs with a community perspective, believes that the community can and should play an important role, and that we should train for, plan for, and organize for an effective response. Only in this way can we be sure that we will provide the best possible support to the many people who are dealing with loss in our communities.

    In this book, Dr. Dixson starts from the time when the loss occurs and guides the reader through the process through that continued care that is necessary. Each chapter presents the situation clearly and outlines responses.

    This book does provide a framework, but in addition, it provides guidance for specific actions. It doesn't just point out the needs. With each need it provides practical, actionable suggestions for how the community can respond.

    Pastors and church leaders will benefit from this work, but it is also useful for congregational, small group, and individual studies. Each person is called to this important service to one another.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherEnergion Publications
    Release dateApr 10, 2023
    ISBN9781631998652
    When the Casseroles Are Gone: The Faith Community's Response to Grief

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      Book preview

      When the Casseroles Are Gone - Daniel Dixson

      9781631998645_fc.jpg

      When the Casseroles Are Gone

      The Faith Community’s Response to Grief

      Guides to Practical Ministry, #7

      Energion Publications

      Gonzalez, Florida

      2023

      Copyright © 2023, Daniel Dixson

      The Poem Lament Psalm 5 on pages 71-72 is from Ann Weems, Psalms of Lament, (Louisville, KY, John Knox Press, 1995), p.9, and is used by permission, all rights reserved.

      The section Tricks Your Brain Plays on you During Grief on pages 73-77 is by Dr. Bob Baugher, PhD, and is used with his kind permission.

      Figure 1 on page 45 is reprinted by permission of the publisher (Taylor & Francis Ltd, http://www.tandfonline.com ), with publication data shown in the footnote at that location.

      ISBN: 978-1-63199-864-5

      eISBN: 978-1-63199-865-2

      Library of Congress Control Number: 2023935365

      Energion Publications

      P. O. Box 841

      Gonzalez, FL 32560

      energion.com

      [email protected]

      Table of Contents

      Series Preface v

      Author’s Preface vii

      Chapter 1 — Who Died? 1

      Chapter 2 — Empty Dishes 7

      Chapter 3 — The Church Responds 13

      Chapter 4 — A New Recipe 21

      Chapter 5 — Cooking It Up 31

      Chapter 6 — Serving It Up 41

      Chapter 7 — A New Table 51

      Appendix 1 — Bereavement Mailings 61

      Appendix 2 — Comments to Avoid After a Death 63

      Appendix 3 — Sharable Items for Bereavement Mailings 65

      Bibliography and Resources 79

      Series Preface

      Once clergy leave seminary, they quickly discover there is more involved in congregational ministry than they learned in school. They may have touched upon many issues faced by clergy in their practical ministry and preaching classes, but there is always more to learn. An internship may have allowed a person to get their feet wet, but again there is much more to learn. As important as this foundational education is (and I believe seminary is important), experienced clergy quickly discover that much that goes into pastoral ministry must be learned on the job. Once a person enters congregational ministry, they quickly discover their strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, continuing education and regular reading in the field are essential. Clergy must have access to books and articles written by experienced clergy for clergy.

      The Guides to Practical Ministry book series was originally published in partnership with the Academy of Parish Clergy. While the APC has brought its more than fifty-year existence as a professional association for clergy to a close, Energion Publications is committed to continuing this series as a legacy of the Academy of Parish Clergy. This series is designed to provide clergy with resources written by practitioners—that is by people who have significant experience in local congregational ministry. Some of the authors in this series have spent time in academic settings, but they all know what it means to serve a local congregation.

      The books that appear in this series cover a variety of issues and concerns faced by clergy. Books in the series address such areas of concern as writing sermons, serving in interim ministry, engaging in ministry in the community, engaging in clergy self-care, clergy ethics, administrative tasks, the use of social media, worship leadership, and pastoral care to name a few. Because most clergy are generalists and not specialists, they need to develop a variety of skills. Sunday morning might involve preaching a sermon while the next day, or even later in the day, they might be sitting with a parishioner who is dying or meeting with a family planning a funeral. With these books, we hope to contribute to clergy growth in congregational ministry.

      Congregational ministry can be a rewarding vocation, but it’s not an easy one. While these books are designed to assist clergy in becoming effective in ministry, the legacy of the Academy of Parish Clergy, is a call to collegiality. So, perhaps these books will be best used in conversation with other clergy so that together they might share the practice of ministry.

      On behalf of Energion Publications, I pray that the books in this series will be a blessing to the authors who writer these books, the clergy who read them, and all who share in or receive ministry from the clergy who read these books.

      Robert D. Cornwall, Ph.D.

      General Editor

      Author’s Preface

      This book begins at the end. Literally. It begins with the call that says someone closely connected to a faith community has died. There has been an ending to a life. That call comes because the faith community is needed. People who are members or have a history with a specific church, synagogue, or other faith community, know that this is what you are supposed to do. You call someone at the church because you know that they are going to help. This is the group that can put together and provide the support so desperately needed at such a time.

      The primary discussion here, however, begins after the call has gone out, the obituary has appeared in the newspaper, and the sad news has been told on social media sites. This book is about what happens after the funeral or memorial service is over and the after-funeral luncheon or reception has ended, and everyone has cleaned up the fellowship hall and gone home. What happens next? That is the central question I have been pondering and now am attempting to answer, at least in part, through this book. What is the role of the faith community in the life of a grieving individual or family the days, weeks, and even months after a death?

      In these pages, you will find the outline or foundational structure of a process for attempting to meet the needs of bereaved persons in your faith community. It includes suggested timelines, information about setting up a Bereavement Team, and information about the nature and journey of grief. The Appendices offer further resources that can provide training information and guidance.

      A principal premise of all of this is the central truth that grief does not go away. Ever. Mourning generally gets less intense and life-consuming, but grief itself does not end. Those who suffer a significant loss do not walk through grief as one might endure a miry bog or an uphill climb, knowing that it is tough but that you will put it behind you after a bit. Rather, when a loss occurs, grief comes to journey with us for as long as there is a single memory or story left to share. That’s the way it should be. We are beings created for relationships and the result of being in a relationship with another person, or loving another individual, will be grief if we live long enough to say goodbye.

      The faith community is often involved in the life of a person and family when an individual is dying. The faith community is generally involved in the funeral or celebration of their life. The faith community provides the initial support of the family or loved ones. Should it not be the faith community that also joins them in their journey with grief rather than leaving them to traverse the challenging and sometimes demanding path by themselves?

      It has been my intent to make this discussion ecumenical and interfaith. For that reason, I have chosen the term faith community to describe any church, congregation, or other groups that meet around a common faith purpose and ideal. There are times I have used the words church and congregation for ease of description, but everything written here is for whoever can find in it, a

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