Line
By Niall Bourke
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Line - Niall Bourke
For Mum and Dad
It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own self-interest. We address ourselves not to their humanity but to their self-love, and never talk to them of our own necessities, but of their advantages.
– Adam Smith, The Wealth of Nations, 1776
I made a mistake in presuming that the self-interests of organisations, specifically banks and others, were such that they were best capable of protecting their own shareholders and their equity in the firms. Those of us who have looked to the self-interest of lending institutions to protect shareholders’ equity (myself included) are in a state of shocked disbelief. I’d been going for 40 years or so with considerable evidence that it was working exceptionally well.
– Alan Greenspan, Federal Reserve Chairman, 2008
CONTENTS
TITLE PAGE
DEDICATION
EPIGRAPH
I
MORNING
DRESSING
THE TENT
WATER
LATRINES
SMOKING
MR HUMMEL
SCHOOL
NYLA
STICKS
TRUDGING
THE YOUNG WOMAN
RATIONS
NYLA
THE RUMOUR
MOUNTAINS
THE THIEF
THE MONSTER
THE TOWN
NYLA
THE DISCOVERY
THE BOOK
THE CEREMONY
LEAVING
II
TREKKING
THE CONFESSION
FLINT
THE WARDEN
THE NAME
TREKKING
THE SECRET
THE DISCOVERY
THE THING
III
WELCOME TO THE CORPORATION
A BRIEF HISTORY OF MODERN DATA FINANCE
IV
THE RIVER
THE GATES
THE MOLES
THE NOTE
NIGHT
THE FOG
THE ATTACK
V
THE LINE
PART 1: A RATIONALE FOR CHANGE
VI
THE MANAGER
THE CABLE-CAR
THE ADMINISTRATOR
VII
PART 2: ON THE POWER OF WAITING
PART 3: AN ELEGANT SOLUTION
VIII
MORNING
DRESSING
THE TENT
LATRINES
THE WALL
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
COPYRIGHT
I
MORNING
And always before dawn come his mother’s calluses.
Willard feels her leathered palms scratching at his shoulder, rousing him. He smells the billy-fires. Morning again, he curses.
– Up, up, she says. Water. And the roof too, while you’re about it. Up.
Willard tries to roll off, to disappear back into his ragged excuse for a blanket. Her hands disappear and he thinks he has won – but then she whips the blanket away, leaving him shivering in his shirt under the dirty tarpaulin.
– Are we moving? he says, eyes still shut. I’m not getting up if we aren’t moving.
– No, says Mother, walking away.
He listens to her steps, can picture the corner of the blanket caught in the crook of her elbow while the rest trails down through the ochre dust.
– But I’ve heard rumblings, she says. A big shift. And coming soon. Very soon. Maybe today.
– That’s what you said yesterday, says Willard.
– Hush, she says. Up.
Willard lies still, trying to hug himself back to warmth but attempting to keep the heat inside himself is like trying to stop water escaping a sieve – whatever bit of his body he wraps in his arms only makes the rest feel colder.
He gets up, pulling one elbow over his head, then the other, an attempt to wring out the stiffness pooled in his back.
DRESSING
Dirtandshitandroutine.
Put on his jeans before the cold can cut strips off him, hopping from leg to leg to spare his feet. Throw on his other shirt and then grab his boots, making sure he undoes the laces rather than standing his feet into them because he knows the back and forth of his heel causes the leather to pull away from the sole. Last time Willard’s boots fell asunder he was barefoot for near on two weeks.
Break the skin of ice on the water bowl – four below for it to form this thick – and brush his teeth with a finger. Catch a nut of water between cupped hands and douse his face, the trickles running down his neck until his chest clamps and forces out his breath like a clouded ghost. Dust off his burlap mattress-sack, roll it into a tight cylinder around the blanket and tie both in place with the frayed length of blue twine. Stack it all in the corner of the tent with the water bowl so everything is ready. Just in case.
Just in case the Line moves.
Just in case It moves.
Just in case It ever moves.
THE TENT
Willard shares the tent with Mother.
Inside is a stove and a red plastic basin acting as the sink. Stacked beside the basin on a rough-hewn plinth, as neatly as possible, are some cooking utensils: two tin plates, two mugs and bowls, two de-handled pots, a frying pan, a spatula with a snapped lath, a blackened long-handled fork and a collection of ladles in varying states of rust. The stove is no more than a hollowed earthen pit covered by a chimney, and the chimney is no more than a rudimentary pipe made from a series of lightweight metal cylinders. Each cylinder is narrower than the one before, so Willard can slot them together to form a funnel, the end of which he pokes through the tarpaulin to take the smoke away.
Willard knows something about the stove – it shouldn’t be used for cooking. The stove is only for warming the tent when the nights become unbearable. Trying to cook on it gives off so much smoke that their eyes stream – so the cooking must be done outside on the billy-fire. And Willard knows something important about the chimney too – that he must coat it in a retardant layer of powdered gypsum wherever it might touch the tarp. More than one family has woken to the vengeful hissing of melting plastic dripping down upon them.
Or not woken, choked in their sleep by the fumes.
WATER
Willard stoops out through the polythene flaps of the tarpaulin.
Their tent has a grey roof, pitched ten degrees from high-side to lowest purlin, and a patchwork of walls hanging on a frame of the misshapen wooden poles. These tarpaulins are new coverings, light and flimsy, but Willard can still remember the old ones, the heavier ones that warped the frame. The older coverings were oiled canvases, mottled with mould and chequered by repairs and, although warmer, they had proved too heavy to carry on entering the foothills.
Willard knows the futility of trying to straighten a curved wooden pole. Hours by the fire, anchoring both ends in the earth so he can push down to unbow the middle – but it always dislodges, rotates rather than straightens. How is it that a framing pole can warp out of shape so easily, but never be bent back? Hours and hours. The pole still bent. The Line never moving.
He checks the roof for moisture, to prevent the water pooling until it hangs down upon them like a distended stomach. He has learned now not to displace the water the lazy way – by pushing up from below with a stick. Now he knows the stick’s small surface area pushes the water outward, shaping the pool on the roof into a hollowed ring with the peak of the stick tenting up through the middle. Now he knows that continuing to push splits the tarp and down come gallons of water on everyone and everything inside. Mother didn’t speak to him for days when it happened, not until he had dried all their sodden materials and paid further penance by washing the pots for the rest of the week.
Yes, Willard knows it is better to climb up on a barrel every morning, to bail out any water with a bowl and to save it in the drum near the fire.
LATRINES
Once Willard finishes clearing the roof, he gets down from the barrel.
Hanging by its handle on the far side of the tarp – away from the entrance – is the small latrine shovel he shares with Mother. The head of the shovel is covered in a fungus of rust, bumpy and heavily stained, and the splintering handle is held loosely in place by two corroded nails. Willard walks around to collect it and, with shovel in hand, makes out for the latrine pits.
The pits are set away from the tent-line, out past the new rubbish-trench, which Willard and the other young men helped excavate when the Line had last stopped. The open trench now marks out the Line’s innermost perimeter, the area that must be kept sanitary, and as tempting as it might be for Willard to cut his walk short by squatting behind a rock, he knows he cannot. Pissing is tolerated in the clean-zone, overlooked if done far enough away from the tents and then rinsed down, but both Mother and Mr Hummel have drummed the importance of using the latrine pits into him, subjected him to countless warnings of sections further down the Line that have been disembowelled by dysentery.
But, for all their stories, the walk is still long on cold mornings, the rocks still enticing.
Willard went in the rocks once before – but Mr Hummel caught him, jeans around his ankles, and hauled him up to standing by an earlobe. Then Mr Hummel thrashed him raw with a tinder-stick before waddling him unceremoniously back through the camp, thighs bare and bleeding. Willard spent the rest of the month on latrine duty digging other people’s shit-holes – and he knows he won’t get away so lightly for a second offence.
Willard crosses through the earthen-ridged wasteland of the old rubbish-channels and, after taking a wide step across the open trench, proceeds to pick his way through the sprawling collection of stone cairns which mark out all the shit-spots too recent to be re-dug. The Line hasn’t moved for so long now, at least six ration-drops, and so every time Willard comes out here he must scour for longer to find a place to squat. The old holes, the really old ones, from the people cycles and cycles up the Line, no longer need any markers because the shit inside them has broken down, petrified to a harmless and powdery chalk. But if Willard loses patience, digs too close to a fresh-laid cairn, then the putrid smell when his shovel bites the earth is enough to keep him looking.
At last he finds a small clearing.
He digs a little, stops, sniffs and, satisfied, keeps digging some more. Then, checking the hole is the required depth of the shovel-head, he empties his bowels with a moan – hoping the single sheet of card in his pocket will this time be enough.
SMOKING
On the way back Willard stops by the rubbish. He takes the remains of a battered matchbox out of his back pocket and, hunkering down against the wind, sifts through the undulations of filth – rags, cans, rusted springs, squares of moulding hessian, tattered bags and tarpaulin sheets too shredded to salvage, leaking canisters and battered cartons – until he finds a suitable scrap of paper. Blowing it clean, he folds it by scoring between finger and thumb and then gums along the crease, tears off a length. The rest he folds into his pocket for later.
He waits for the wind to die and, when the rectangle of paper is sitting still, opens the matchbox. Pinching up the grum of tobacco, he sprinkles in a little under half, smoothing the yellowing strands with his index fingers before rolling up with his thumbs and licking along the edge to seal it in. He puts the narrow end in his mouth and, still hunkering against the wind, lights a match with a sulphurous grind. The head is damp, bubbles in the lee-shadow of his cupped hand before flaring, and Willard, eyes closed as the green spectre of the match floats over his retinas, pecks his roll-up in and out of the flame until he gets the tobacco to take. There he stays, squatting among the rubbish as the smoke tumbles up towards the grey knuckles of the morning.
All is still.
How long before they move again, how long before a new cycle? Spring is coming but the mornings are still cold, too cold, too cold until past midday when the sun climbs over the rocky ridges. And too cold too the cloudless nights, too bitter when out for a piss under the savagery of the stars.
When will they move? When when when?
MR HUMMEL
Willard smokes as he returns, and the Line comes awake.
All his life he has Lined Up one place in front of the Addison family and he hears them going through their morning ritual, the two children sitting by their billy-fire and squabbling like egrets as Mrs Addison assembles breakfast.
All his life he has Lined Up one place behind Mr Hummel, who now has his tarp stripped and folded and is lying supine on his mat chanting out his matins. Every morning Willard has watched Mr Hummel pray, and every evening too. Mr Hummel always lies in the same position, flat on his back, legs bent a little and both hands pulsing up his thighs then easing back down. All the while he sings out in