Performance Coaching: The Handbook for Managers, HR Professionals and Coaches

Preface

The executive coach is a fabulously valuable facilitator of change. The coach is not the player, but an instrument, in service to the art of the coachee. The aim is to encourage the coachee to extend and explore their frame of reference, to help them find new and motivating tools for success in all they do and, with luck, inspire them to continue traits of self-learning that endure over time.

A frame of reference characterizes the nature and extent of the coachee’s reality, and the coach intervenes to help the coachee discover new meaning and potential by stretching their frame of reference, extending their inner representation of the world. The coachee thus comes to new perspectives and a fresh frame of reference. These sometimes include a new perception of who they really are and their true purpose in being—hugely motivating perceptions.

Over a time, coachees open up to learning in new and inspiring ways, to self-coach, to self-challenge and redefine their own frame of reference. These new skills of mental agility assist them in the effectiveness of their thinking and their actions in other contexts.

The true coach observes miracles as incredible as the transformation that leads the tiny stirrings of the chrysalis into the bright magnificence of a butterfly. If one has not felt privileged and humbled in the act of coaching, one has probably not yet attained the mantle of the true coach.

Many of our trainees come to coaching bursting with questions for their coachees. They bombard them, hoping to find a weakness of either perception or thinking that they may attack and cure. The performances are breathtaking for all concerned! The transformation of trainee to coach is evidenced when the direction and pace of the session seems to be coachee-led. The coach spends more time listening rather than worrying about their next intervention.

Very few people exhibit the persona of the natural coach as evidenced by their inherent qualities and behaviors. Most of us have limitations. It is hoped that this book will help convince readers that we may still excel as coaches—by preparing our mindsets for coaching, by practice and experience. Coaching is not a soft option. The coachee is very likely to have periods of great discomfort while their beliefs and actions are challenged—this is often where the most dramatic changes in perception, motivation and performance arise.

Our initial motivations to coach may be myriad: a desire to make a difference, to lead, to be a rounded and professional manager and communicator, to look self-assured and worldly. However, if in reading this book I do not leave you with a shifted motivation for coaching, then I may have failed. This is because I believe that coaches need to learn that their desires to do something and make a difference need to be directed at themselves and not at their coachees. A coach with inner targets can make assumptions about the inner world of their coachee and distract that coachee from their most influencing path. Ultimately, I suggest, the best work is done by the coachee and not by the coach, even though the coach is more or less a catalyst for that.

It is easy to feel compelled by one’s own motivation. When the coachee learns how to flex their mental resources, they develop competencies that are not limited to the issue at hand. By developing themselves, the coachees use their learning in many other contexts. True coaching unleashes the potential of the coachee for success and leadership in all contexts, both in work and outside.

Self-directed solutions lead to motivated targets. It’s success in self-motivated targets that leads to sustained self-motivation. This is where coaching makes a value-added contribution to successful management.

Chapter One

Introduction

This book is accessible to managers wanting a resource where they may learn and access information easily. Human-resources (HR) professionals will find information helpful in deciding whether to establish a coaching or mentoring function, whether to insource, outsource, or use support strategies that could include e-mentoring (using an intranet or extranet). The book should appeal to both the novice coach trying to get a practical handle on coaching skills and to the more experienced coach wanting to widen their knowledge and to refresh the use of tools that have become rusty.

In trying to achieve an accessible book for all managers, I hope that I have provided an adequate structure, a functional contents list, and a detailed index to satisfy all but the most demanding and methodical expert. I apologize now for the word coachee. Although I dislike this word, I have been unable to find something well regarded and more acceptable without introducing a new term. The word client will not do, since, in the corporate context, the client is always the party that pays.

Where a newly introduced tool or idea is mentioned in the text it is shown in bold, and this signifies that a box containing related information is nearby. This allows any reader who needs more information to access it while allowing other readers to continue reading, without having to break their concentration. I hope this also allows more expert readers with specific skill sets to skip sections (when they are already familiar with specific tools).

Other emboldened text, but italicized, is there to highlight linguistic tips that appear in the text. Linguistic tips are referred to in their own index for ease of reference.

Necessarily, many of the issues given as examples are incomplete: they are there merely to illustrate ways of approaching an issue and are not a complete transcript of all interventions. As a consequence, not all the issues raised in a given example are complete.

Many of the tools that are illustrated in the examples can be used in different contexts. It’s hoped that, by reading through examples, you will become familiar with the tools and language of coaching and will build on your successes to use the tools fluidly. The choice of which tool to use in any given situation becomes more obvious with familiarity and practice.

Following these introductory sections, Chapters Two and Three are set out to be highly accessible to managers and novice coaches wanting easy access to practical coaching. Examples reflect typical issues seen in coaching practice. These offer a readable way of introducing the language and tools of coaching. Chapter Two looks at the most typical issues in coaching and Chapter Three follows this format to highlight typical drivers for change.

HR professionals with coaching experience may like to go directly to Chapter Four to gain insights into how coaching is applied in organizations.

In Chapter Five we look at a selection of methods taken from bigger developmental models that either are, or can be, applied to coaching. I have been highly selective in choosing those that I use or have seen to be highly effective. This is necessarily an individualistic offering. I also introduce my own STEPPPA coaching model (STEPPPA is an acronym whose meaning we will discuss later).

Chapter Six looks primarily at the development of the coach, drawing upon a number of philosophies and methods that underpin the practice of executive coaching.

Chapter Seven is unapologetically a place where I have put other background information that has not appeared elsewhere. This includes some additional information about questioning methods, and methods that are not invariably part of the coach’s resource, such as storytelling, totems, and archetypes.

Chapter Eight considers some of the pitfalls of coaching and problems that may arise in coaching practice, including psychological projection and sexual attraction.

Chapter Nine is a brief resource about mentoring, and particularly e-mentoring, taken mainly from my experiences with Ask Max, our Internet-based mentoring service. I also mention telephone mentoring as an adjunct to coaching.

The appendices contain valuable information about the mechanics of setting up the coaching space, relationships between coach and coachee and between mentor and mentee, feedback sheet, code of ethics, and a brief history of coaching and mentoring, as well as a resource for additional reading and Web-based information, including some of the courses offered by institutions. Unless stated, I do not endorse any Web-based resource or any training course in this work.

Some of my readers will find issues that are close to something that they face themselves. The solutions to those issues were specific to the individuals concerned and not likely to be the best solution for anyone else. Coaching, as opposed to giving advice, encourages the development of coachee-specific solutions that are motivating and appropriate for them. This also highlights the separation between coaching and mentoring: coaching inspires internally motivated solutions; mentoring invariably offers externally derived solutions. In this book, I offer a variant on mentoring that I think offers the best of both worlds, and integrates them.

My books are designed to be picked up and read from any page, so the indexes are constructed to make the reader’s life easier. If the structure of the book does not delight you, then do please look at the contents list and indexes! I hope you will enjoy reading this book.

Sources of inspiration

I was drawn into coaching from counseling. For years previously, I was a sound ear to many; on numerous occasions hearing the life-stories and traumas of people I had not previously spoken to. This was long before I had a clue what to say to them. One time, someone I had never spoken with, not even by way of an introduction, provided me with a ten-minute medical history!

My approach then was to listen. Often I would then mentor them by offering solutions. It therefore came as a miracle to me that people can make improved progress if you let them find their own solutions. A workshop within our course called Power of Silence in Coaching produces miracles that are testaments to the cathartic potential of coachees, if only coaches will provide a space for that. I was naturally pulled further into person-centered intervention and undertook co-counseling training. NLP (neurolinguistic programming) has also contributed heavily. NLP provides great tools for change but tools do not make a good coach. The principal instruments, used elegantly, provide this. As the father of modern coaching methods, Tim Gallwey (1999) said, Principles are more important than tools.

My linguistic background was enhanced by the work of David Grove (clean language) and then of Penny Tompkins and James Lawley (symbolic modeling—Lawley and Tompkins, 2000). These three people have wonderfully presented us with simple and effective models for exploring the metaphoric world and finding compelling solutions.

Taken together, I provide a source of expertise in the principal instruments of coaching that will underpin any other skillset or toolbox you may wish to apply, whether illustrated here or not. When the principal instruments are coupled with coaching mindsets and the many tools illustrated, you will witness stunning change and performance that may make your heart swell.

Defining coaching

Many people have failed to define coaching because when they look at the market they find many varieties of coach and many techniques. Some of these techniques seem radically different in approach. People also discover that many coaches work from just one discipline in their work, while others, myself included, work from a range of disciplines. They may find provocative coaches, transactional-analysis coaches, life coaches, emotional-intelligence coaches, and so on. How can one make sense of all these approaches? I hope to help. We shall start by introducing the core elements that underpin best practice in all coaching methods. It is easy to imagine that a new set of tools sold by one or other brand will make you a coach. They will not. Without a foundation in principles, an appropriate mental attitude, and linguistic competencies, these tools are all highly limited.

Whatever their discipline, coaches are generally using two or three of the principal instruments to assist coachees to a defined target. Therefore, we will start there.

Principal instruments of the coach

The principal instruments of coaching are silence, questions, and challenge (McLeod, 2001). These are used to assist the coachee to meet their defined targets. Of the three instruments, silence is the most effective.

Silence

When a coachee makes a discovery, this psychological breakthrough in perception, or catharsis, is wholly internal. Even if the coach is speaking, the contribution of the coach to the actual event is insignificant. Silence is therefore the dominant of the triad of the principal instruments. Silence enables the coachee to think and feel (experience) without being sidetracked by a coach’s agenda.

The real work of coaching is done in the coachee’s episodes of thinking and feeling in which the coach plays no part other than silent witness (McLeod, 2002a). The coachee may be re-evaluating what they thought they knew, exploring a fresh perception on what they thought was real and fixed, developing new insight on a situation, understanding the depth and source of their motivation, and so on. The art of the coach is not to know when to be silent but when to break that silence.

I coached a sales trainer who is widely respected on the world stage. Bob had become stuck. Having decided on an important task he found himself demotivated to accomplish it, let alone start the job. He told me that he had become frustrated because the target was important to him but he kept putting it off. Over the course of the next ten minutes Bob explored his situation with me. He willingly entered his on-stage sales-trainer state by getting out of his chair and imagining/experiencing himself before one of his large audiences, ready to demonstrate his influencing skills to them. From that state of being, I asked Bob to offer his stuck-self (still metaphysically in the chair) some advice with his problem. He provided that advice immediately. Shortly afterwards, I asked Bob to return psychologically to his chair and then to listen to the best possible advice available from a leading trainer. I simply read back his exact words in the same tone and pace. There was a silence laden with spine-tingling suspense and atmosphere. Bob was transformed. His concentration was internal and acute. His neck colored with blood, his eyes were defocused, and his whole being became energized. I let the silence run on. It was broken by Bob, who launched himself to his feet, saying, I’m doing it right now! Sorry to cut the session short! I couldn’t reply because Bob was already out of the room and on his way to his office. You will find other examples in this book.

Jill Dann (2003) says, In coaching, you have to allow prolonged silences, and intervene to push the coachee to reconnect with the moment, bringing them back to it and keeping anyone else silent. If they can revisit the moment they are often astounded by the range of emotions experienced. Emotion, once registered (and whether expressed or not), is a key driver for change. Silence and emotion are a facilitators of awesome power.

There is another lesson from the session with Bob. The most motivating behaviors come from self-determined processing. I could have offered Bob the same advice, but would he have leaped out of his chair and rushed out of the room to act upon it?

Questions

Questioning is another of the three principal instruments of coaching. We will return often to questioning techniques, because there is so much ground to cover. For now, it is worth defining why questions are used in coaching:

to unlock more information for both coach and coachee

to assist the coachee to explore available realities

Questioning can be approached in such a way that coachees can explore issues and reach motivated targets without the coach having to understand anything about the situation—such things as the people involved and the time or place to which the issue relates. This type of questioning is sometimes called context-free questioning/coaching. It is particularly useful where the coachee is dealing with highly sensitive issues, be they emotional, political, strategic, or interpersonal. For example, they may have a sensitive issue regarding the senior board member who hired them. By taking away the need for the coachee to express the details of their knowledge and experiences, they can roam freely through their solutions without concerning themselves with the appropriateness or otherwise of expressing factual information. If a coach is going to deal with such situations, context-free questioning can be considered—but more later! For now, we can see that questioning may support coaching in many ways. Here are just some examples:

developing understanding of the issue and its context

exploring historical situations with positive outcomes

defining what is and is not in the control of the coachee

redefining the target(s) and the timescales to success

encouraging new perceptions

helping the coachee to associate (experience) their situation/state fully

helping the coachee to disassociate from their situation and be more objective

re-evaluating value judgments

revisiting limiting beliefs

recognition of patterns

evaluating behaviors in the context of the coachee’s identity and values

defining the level of certainty the coachee has about their success (motivation)

Questions can help define the boundaries of the coachee’s worldview. Questions can also assist them to re-evaluate those boundaries and extend what is possible.

Challenge

Challenges have similar outcomes to questions but often the approach is confrontational. For example, a challenge may require the reassessment of a firm belief. Challenges can be offered as statements or questions and can be especially helpful where a coachee is very stuck in a pattern of negative thought. Here are examples:

G

ILES

: I’m useless at presentations!

C

OACH

: So, you’re the worst presenter on the planet?

G

ILES

: I’m not that bad.

C

OACH

: What are you not that bad at, in presentations?

Here, the aim of the challenge is to encourage the coachee to reframe their perception of their abilities so that they may have the confidence to do something about their skill level. The next intervention provides a base for that by exploring positives.

J

OHN:

The problem is insurmountable!

C

OACH

: You’re probably right. Let’s ignore it and work on something else.

J

OHN

: I can’t ignore this—I must do something!

C

OACH

: If I had this problem, where would be the best place for me to start now?

Here, the challenge is discounting the enormity of the issue and is very likely to get a reaction. In this case, luckily perhaps, the effect is to accept action. The coach’s question is designed to get the coachee to dissociate emotionally from the issue and appeals to their ability to observe the problem from outside and at the same time to help the coach. We will return to other examples of challenge and of emotionally associated and emotionally dissociated states again.

Definitions of coaching

We are now in a position to define for the purpose of this book both coaching and related services. Since our context is workbased, the terms executive coaching, performance coaching, and coaching are interchangeable.

Coaching: The use of silence, questions, and challenge to assist a coachee toward a defined work-based target. These are often present issues or ones that relate to the future.

Performance coaching: It is sometimes considered that performance coaching centers only on mental techniques and targets without exploration of emotional material or the nitty-gritty of communication and relationship. This is an absurd idea since a huge bulk of issues affecting executive performance is about communication and relationships. Also, since emotion is the key element of motivation, any coaching method that missed emotional investment in targets is flawed.

Mentoring: Mentoring ideally adopts all the skills of coaching. The best mentoring helps the mentee to find their own solutions using the three principal instruments. Most mentoring seems to be on culture-specific advice and suggestions. It contains information on organizational structures and procedures (e.g., politics, agendas and influencing strategies).

Life coaching: The use of silence, questioning, and challenge to assist a coachee to a defined personal target.

Counseling: The use of questioning and silence to assist the individual to manage or redefine personal issues. Very often, these are located in the past.

Chapter Two

Coaching Issues—New Skills

We will explore numerous examples that deal with typical issues brought to us during coaching intervention. The first and most overarching of these is communication.

Communication

In my work as a coach and team facilitator, I guess that 80 percent of the issues are dominated by communication factors. By communication I mean both the quality and appropriateness of spoken and written words as well as their interpretation by the hearer/reader. For example, I remember being welcomed to a business meeting in Pennsylvania with the words, It’s good that you could be with us today. The simple interpretation is clear: my host was expressing his pleasure at my being there. However, some months earlier, I had postponed this meeting because my US travels had been overbooked and my itinerary had to be changed. Therefore, my immediate reinterpretation of his welcome was, So, you finally deigned to grace us with your presence. Now you’re here, let’s press on quickly before you get bored and have to leave us. After I got over that possible meaning I came up with a third interpretation for It’s good that you could be with us today. Maybe he was acknowledging my busy schedule and expressing gratitude that, in spite of limited time and the location of their plant, I had agreed to travel out of the way specifically to meet with them.

If a simple, unambiguous phrase containing only positive messages can be interpreted so differently, it is small wonder that communication is at the heart of so many executive issues. Throughout the issues examples in this book, you will find that communication is often at their heart. The key to moving past such communication shortfalls is invariably conscious perception.

Conscious perception re-evaluates the communication and looks at negative, neutral, and positive possibilities in the message. More than that, conscious perception looks beyond the message to the possible states of mind of the originator. Thus, a voicemail message from my boss’s boss picked up one Friday evening stated simply, Angus, this is John. I’ve checked your program for next week and see a gap Monday morning and want to see you in my office ten o’clock.

What do you suppose my interpretation was? He is unhappy with my performance? My immediate boss has died and I am up for that job? Conscious perception forced me to look beyond the interpretations to explore Mark’s state of mind. I noted that the communication was briefer than usual. This could mean that he was angry with me and did not want to say too much in case he blew up over the phone. It could also mean that he was under pressure. Suddenly I heard bells clanging in my head. The full board on which Mark sat was due to meet the following Tuesday in Birmingham. Mark could be feeling a little short on business performance. Maybe he was seeking support from me to embellish his results with some healthy news on prospective business that might boost the following quarter. That interpretation proved correct. I had increased my conscious perception by self-questioning.

Increasing conscious perception offers more choice and strategies for dealing with issues, for moving ahead effectively. More than that, the process starts a whole new habit of self-inquiry that improves all decision making and performance. All executives can do this and perform at a higher level. That is just one area where coaching can make a huge difference to executive performance.

Conscious perception

Conscious perception is stimulated by questioning and challenge around established realities. The art of the coach is to recognize inhibiting and unnatural perceptions and to encourage the coachee to new perceptions. Questions include the following:

Who says?

How do you know?

Can you say more, can you convince me?

Always? Can you think of an exception?

Why must you? What other choices are there?

Additionally, there are numerous coaching tools that encourage conscious perception, many illustrated in this book.

Let’s look at some examples of coaching where communication is the major element of the coachee’s issue.

Territory invasion—getting in their shoes

Helena ran a department of almost a thousand people within the IT industry. She had come into the sector from chemicals six years before. Her record in project management and her interpersonal ability had got her the first role. The same skills had propelled her up the ladder to run a department operating as a business center netting over $130 million a year. Her department contained technical, technical sales, quality, and administrative functions.

Helena had very good reason to believe that her quality division was about to be poached and merged under another manager, Paul. Helena felt that, if he were successful, it could impact badly on her business area, since, she said, quality underpinned the salability of her product lines. Helena’s anxiety festered for some weeks. She considered contacting her original mentor in the corporation to seek her support. Perhaps wisely, Helena held back from asking for intervention. She realized that at this stage in her career she should be able to fight her own battles using available resources. Her issues centered on the loss of the quality division, her protagonist, Paul (a slightly more senior manager with strong corporate connections built up over several years), and the financial controller, Alan (who in her eyes had no loyalty to her and would be more influenced by Paul and by any argument showing cost reduction).

We explored her perceptions of these three relationships: with Paul the protagonist, with the financial controller, Alan, and with her mentor, Georgina. When Helena came to me, she had already decided to contact Georgina only as a last resort for guidance, not proactive support. While talking about Alan, we had the following development:

A

NGUS

: Helena, do you recall a significant meeting with Alan that represents your typical engagement with him?

H

ELENA

: Yes, I do.

A

NGUS

: I’d like you to have an experience of being in that meeting now. Put whatever you need to make this experience as real as you can. How light