Bird Spotting in a Small Town
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About this ebook
My feet are itching to walk to the shore, to leave the kids again, to sit with the birds and pretend none of this has happened.
In a small, isolated town on the North Norfolk coast, Fran's life is unravelling.
As she fills her days cleaning the caravan park she owns, she is preoccupied by worry - about the behaviour of her son, the growing absence of her husband and the strained relationship with her sister. Her one source of solace is slipping out to the beach early in the morning, to watch the birds.
Small-town tension simmers when a new teacher starts at the local school and a Romany community settle in the field adjoining Fran's caravan park. From the distance of his caravan, seventy-year-old Tad quietly watches the townspeople - mainly, Fran's family.
When the schoolteacher and Fran's brother-in-law both go missing on the same night, accusations fly. Yet all Fran can seem to care about is the birds.
An eerie and unsettling novel, Bird Spotting in a Small Town perfectly encapsulates the intensity of rural claustrophobia when you don't know who you can trust.
'A haunting, disquieting novel, exquisitely written. The detail throughout is like acupuncture and the whole thing is difficult to pull away from. I read it in short bursts because each sitting left me with something new to think about' - IAN MOORE, author of Death and Croissants
'The kind of book that gets under your skin, hugely atmospheric and dark in the best possible way' - JENNIE GODFREY, author of The List of Suspicious Things
Perfect for fans of Francine Toon's Pine and hit British crime dramas like Broadchurch and Hollington Drive.
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Bird Spotting in a Small Town - Sophie Morton-Thomas
PROLOGUE
They’ll know soon enough.
Everything was taken care of to ensure the best outcome. At first the idea was crazy, ludicrous, not thought out. I couldn’t say it was the most razor-sharp of plans. It happened so quickly. I remember my breath, raggedy, sharp, as if something was trying to burst out of my lungs. I was losing my footing in the fast pace of it all, the almost-running. I couldn’t really run with the weight in my hands. The wind from the sea was whipping at my face in a fury, telling me to slow down. But I couldn’t. I had to listen to the other sounds; the calls of the gulls, saying it was the only way.
You’ve always got to listen to the birds.
FRAN
3 January
The black-throated diver takes its chances; the crash and the slam of colour into the waves catches my eye once again, and I am diverted from my thoughts. He surfaces after a few seconds, prize in beak, turning, a flash of silver, worth embracing the ice-cold of the waves for. I recoil into the warmth of my fisherman’s all-weather jacket, sleeves rolled due to the length. Dom won’t mind that I’ve borrowed it.
Most of the caravans are empty, save for the bloke who stays now and then to escape his wife and kids. I lock the caravan door behind me, head along the narrow path to the next one. The guests are few and far between at this time of year, only the most hardened of holidaymakers risking their Christmases on the coast here. Most families stay away until at least April, once the ground has thawed a little. The second caravan I check, number thirty-one, has a door that sticks, and I swear as my fingers sear from the pain of trying the handle with too much enthusiasm. I poke my hooded head around the door. Still clean. Stepping into the caravan, I snoop around the living area, notice the carpet is looking a little threadbare. Rugs, we need to purchase rugs. We keep saying we will, and then we don’t. Another thing to do. I step out of the unit and close the door behind me, wondering if I should go to check on my sister in number eleven. She’s been here six months, now I think of it. It’s late afternoon; the sun set a long time ago, leaving only a pinky-red swirl of a ghost in the sky, something that used to be.
*
Dom and Bruno are sitting in front of the television, feet up, shoes on. There are still swathes of tinsel in the highest corners of the room that we have not yet taken down. Christmas came and went in a tangle of doubt. I don’t mind that the festivities are over. The occasion is stifling, too much pressure. I like this bit, just after New Year, the bit that many folks seem to wish away. I think of mentioning the bird to Dom but decide not to. We don’t see them often around here, and the sighting was a rarity for me. I think about why we moved here, and why we purchased the caravan park when we had barely even talked about the notion before. I know why I wanted to move here. The birds. Of course, the birds. I don’t think I’ve said this to my husband properly before. My ten-year-old shows more interest in my ornithology obsession than Dom does, though this might just be his age. He does tend to follow in whatever his dad thinks, usually, so perhaps it won’t be long until his interest dwindles. I walk through to the kitchen, gather up the dirty plates on the side, and my mind slips to Ros again.
Later, we walk to the beach. We follow the trail that leads from the house, past the caravan site and down along the side of the church. The last wisps of pink are long gone from the sky, our journey lit by the streetlamps on the one main road which runs alongside the coast. Dom holds my hand on one side, Bruno on the other. I can feel a rush of warmth inside me, not felt for a while. Bruno is jigging up and down from the cold, or it could be the excitement of a late evening stroll. He is chattering away about his return to school, his keenness making me smile down into the scarf which is double-rolled around my neck. I glance at Dom to see if he is enjoying the moment, but his eyes are further up the road, not looking at either of us, red brows knitted. Sooner or later, I know Bruno will mention Sadie, ask the questions, but he doesn’t. I am holding my breath, but he doesn’t.
The lights beam from our left-hand side, my child straining to drag me onto the sand.
*
Ellis has been back a few weeks now. I feel for him. I like his obvious interest-bordering-on-obsession for his daughter. I find myself pacing around the door of their caravan in the cold morning mist, debating whether to knock. It’s still early. I hear the pigeons in the nearby tree, wonder why we get just as many of these as gulls here. I need to see if Ros is alright. There’s no movement in the van even several moments after I’ve hammered at the door with my fist. Eventually, there is a face poking at me through the yellowed net curtain of the window where the second bedroom is. Sadie. I grin, and she smiles back, slowly at first, sleep still covering her at the edges. The door of the van rattles, and she is standing there, all of her eleven years.
‘Mum’s not up yet,’ she states. I smile again, but she seems to be intent on beginning to close the door.
‘Wait, Sadie,’ I say, my hand holding the door still. ‘Is your dad around?’
She thinks for a moment, looks upwards, shakes her head. ‘He went out last night. Don’t know if he’s back.’
‘Can you check?’
She leaves the doorway, heads towards the bedrooms. I hear a door open and close. She is back in front of me, shaking her head again, narrowing her eyes slightly.
‘OK,’ I say. The doubt is like an itch. ‘No worries. Just tell your mum I popped by.’
As I turn to leave, I hear Ros’s slight voice in my ear. ‘Fran.’
She is pale, and I am almost afraid to look her way. Dark bags surround her slitty eyes. A rush of concern heats up my veins.
‘You knocked?’
I make myself look at her. ‘I was checking you were OK. That’s all.’
She squints at me slightly. ‘I’m fine. You know that.’ Her face breaks into a smile, cautious at first.
‘Yep.’ I don’t know what else to say. I just need to know that she is alright. ‘Ellis around?’
Her shoulders hunch up, a casual shrug. ‘No. He’s out.’
‘Dad’ll be back soon.’ Sadie is still in the doorway. She thinks she is a part of the conversation between me and her mother.
‘Late night somewhere?’ I try, looking at my sister.
Ros straightens herself up, pushes hair from her eyes. She might have had two hours of sleep. ‘Look, Fran, I know you mean well, but you did say you were going to stop worrying.’ She pauses. ‘He’s not a bad guy, you know. And we’re very grateful, what with you letting us stay here.’
I am nodding. I’m not looking for appreciation. I know he’s not a bad guy. He’s one of the good ones.
‘I’ll leave you be.’ Ros closes the door without a proper goodbye, and I wonder if she will be able to get any more sleep this morning. Mum and Dad would have been so sad to see her like this. I try not to consider it further. Sadie’s face appears again at the window, not smiling. She pulls the netting across.
I walk back towards our cottage, the sun pushing its way through the clouds, light on dark.
*
Dom is on his way to work, first day back, rushing through the door, mock-surprise on his face when he sees me on our path. He pauses, and I stop walking too. I wonder whether I should plant a kiss on his cheek, but I don’t, and continue my walk to the door.
‘Bye, Fran,’ he says from behind me.
‘Yeah, bye,’ I say. Again, I think of leaning in for a hug of some sort. Instead, I bend down, untie my shoelaces.
He is close to me, still. I can feel the warmth from his body. ‘Bruno doesn’t start back at school today, does he?’
I look up from my crouched position on the floor.
‘It’s tomorrow, isn’t it?’ he says, before I get a chance to speak. ‘He’s so excited.’
‘Yup,’ I agree.
Once I am inside the cottage, I check Bruno is alright in the living room and begin the rounds of laundry from my sister’s caravan and the man in number thirty-one. It’s a thankless task, makes my arms ache, hanging it all out to dry in our spare room. I prefer to fold the dry stuff. Downstairs, I can hear Bruno’s game, cars revving. Dom is right, he cannot wait to be back at school. I know why. The children have a new teacher, and besides, Sadie has promised since before Christmas that she will sit next to him in class from now on. I don’t think he has a crush on her, that would be a little strange considering their connection. I let myself collapse on the sofa, try to get my breath back. I’m not fit like I used to be. And certainly nothing like Ros, with her sunrise runs. At the same moment, Bruno stands, wanders into the hallway. I pull myself back off the chair and tiptoe behind him, hoping my knees don’t click like they usually do. I know he can’t hear me. He’s staring out of the little window beside the front door. It’s like he’s waiting for her. Watching, and waiting.
TAD
They say I’m the most trusting of all of us. I don’t know why, seeing as I’m the oldest. Usually, the oldest from our type of family takes the least shit, has seen and known too much to be bothered with hassle. I’m not sure how much of that applies to me. I have one daughter, and a wife buried in the ground over at the Common. Wasn’t going to have a council funeral, nope. We did it ourselves. There was grieving for a long time.
My family are my friends, yes, but I tend to make friends with the rest of the world too. If my brother is going to find a bird or two and cook them, he’ll offer some to us, or I’m happy to just go and buy one at the local shop. We do use the shops, we have bank cards, bank accounts.
We were up at the Common for almost a year, now we’re moving on. You might think we were sent packing because of mess, or noise, or dogs. We’ve a couple of collies, and a mongrel. Used to have the two horses, the cobs. But it isn’t because of any of that. We’re in a bit of a rush, see. Plus, there are new job opportunities by the coast; at least one of the younger lot already has a job secured. I would have been happy to stay, but I went along with what most of the others wanted.
So, we’re on the move again, from our temporary stop, this family of ours. The land is owned by the great God in the sky, and by nobody else. Grass, soil, wind and rain, it’s all the same. Well, that’s what my folks used to say. Me, I’m just happy to get somewhere to park myself for a few nights, somewhere to lay my head. Anything more than that is just a bonus.
FRAN
5 January
The school is a dark-stoned Victorian building, standing proud, stark against the morning light. Under the grime of the build-up of sea scum on its walls glints a hint of better days. The wind from the sea bears down on us, making us bow our heads, eyes to the ground.
Bruno, young for his age, is hopping around on the balls of his feet, not letting the bitter wind destroy his mood. He stops biting down on his chapped lips to cry, ‘She’s here! She’s here!’
I glance up and nod at my sister, gloves being pulled on, a quick check of her watch. She manages a smile that does not meet her eyes. Sadie is looking beyond me, oblivious to Bruno’s excitement.
‘Say hi, Sadie,’ says my sister.
Sadie looks up at me, blinks. ‘Hi.’
Ros laughs, nudges her daughter. ‘I did mean say hi to Bruno.’
Bruno rushes over to her side, and her face breaks into a smile for the first time. Sadie’s a real beauty when she’s happy.
‘Everything alright?’ My sister’s words brush against the side of me.
I glance up, hands stuffed deep into my pockets. The evening walk to the beach flashes into my mind. The lights at the side of the road, their need to not be obvious, my husband’s slight interest in whatever my topic of conversation was. Just before Christmas, we had been close. ‘Yup.’
Ros is moving closer to me, eyes not so tired now. ‘You know, everything is good. He’s fine. He seems like a different person now.’
I know I am blinking lots, batting away her words. She is talking about her own partner, not mine. Ros is a tower next to me, tall yet wavering. She’s always reminded me of a reed, yielding to the force of the wind. I’ve always been the stronger one. I’ve had to be, I’m the eldest. Ros, she’s softer. Kinder. Our dad used to describe her as being like butter : easy to cut into. I’m still not really looking at her, the wind whisking around my uncovered ears, heat burning. ‘Well, we just want you to be happy.’
It seems like she is smiling genuinely now. ‘I know. Thank you. And we are absolutely fine. I’ll get some work in the next few weeks. I’ll give you some money, obviously. You’re not my cash cow.’
We watch in unison as the teachers come out of the building to greet their students back. An unknown woman, red hair with substantial grey at the roots, scraped back into a bun, stands at the front of Bruno and Sadie’s line. She must be early forties, with spindly pencil legs in high black platform heels, matching black tights. I can see two large and overpowering rings on her fingers but glance away as I realise I am staring. Bruno turns to me, his eyes alight, as he mouths, This is our new teacher. Ros risks a look at me and raises an eyebrow. I think the children had all been expecting a young lady, straight from university. It doesn’t bother me. I like the fierceness of her face, the drawn expression, like she won’t take crap from anyone, although perhaps she is just scowling at the strength of the perishing wind. I find myself looking towards my niece, trying to take in what she may be thinking.
‘Bit of a punky old battleaxe, no?’ Ros says into my ear. The wind is whipping around us so dramatically that I pretend not to hear her words. I try not to laugh at them either.
‘If she takes a dislike to Sadie, I think Ellis will be having words.’
I notice the teacher is now smiling at the class, but there’s something else there; fear, nerves, who knows. I feel sorry for the poor woman, thirty pairs of eyes gunning her down in the first few minutes of her appearance. And that’s not even the kids. I try not to think of Ellis, quick off the mark, straight through the school gates in an attempt to defend his child. The thought makes me shiver a little, in perhaps an almost delightful way. It’s my liking of his protectiveness towards her. Sadie’ll be at secondary school in a few months’ time, she’ll need to be let go of by then. My own child will never seem ready for such a leap.
*
Later, at school pick-up, it is Ellis who appears. I thought he would be at work, but perhaps that particular job ran dry. I don’t ask. He nods at me, almost a smile. ‘You were asking after me the other day?’
I had forgotten the sound of his gruff voice. Gravel throat, that’s how Dom had described him when they first encountered each other. Sometimes I struggle to even make out what he is saying. It’s not an unpleasant voice, just so deep.
Finding myself faltering, I nod, frantically trying to articulate the words I need to say. ‘I was checking that all was well. With the three of you.’
I wish I hadn’t got to the school so early. It’s only 3.06 pm. School doesn’t break until 3.15 pm, and even then, the kids have to be standing behind their chairs in perfect silence before they are allowed out. Bruno is often the last, due to his inability to commit to being deathly quiet.
‘Well, we are just fine. And thanks for paying for my programme. You know I’m grateful; we’ll pay you back.’ He looks sheepish, blinks with his long, dark lashes. My sister used to joke that it always looked as though he was wearing eye makeup. I think again about what a decent man he is, try not to compare him to my husband. My husband whom I want to be with, the man who has stood by me since our early twenties.
I hope my smile looks genuine.
‘Ros and me, we just need time alone, with Sadie. You know, as a family.’
It’s almost a word-for-word repeat of what my sister had said to me.
He chats to me about his daughter, how bright she has been over the Christmas period, how she has been missing Bruno. I don’t mention that Dom and I are beginning to think it would be a good idea for the two children to take a break from each other. I think it will be a joint decision between the two of us. Perhaps Dom is pushing this idea a little more than I would like. Sometimes I imagine their little family will appear at our door like they did back in October, November, probably sick of the four walls of their caravan and desperate to enjoy the heat and space of our cottage. Dom was never that bothered, answering the door with a gruff ‘hi’, leaving the door open for me to speak to them. I suppose he’s become friendlier with them of late. He is trying, I know that. Back then, I wanted to invite them in, offer food, and they would have never said no. It’s at times like these I wish that Mum and Dad were still around. No time for moping. It’s been six years since they passed away, three months apart.
Sadie comes running out and bundles her father; he spins dramatically and is pulling on her plaits.
‘Take the plaits out now, Dad!’ she squeals, pulling at the elastic bands at the end. The ribbons her mum must have tied are now flapping on the ground of the playground, abandoned. ‘I’m too old for plaits!’ I wonder why she has only decided this now, and not earlier in the day.
I can’t see Bruno, but watch the other kids file out one by one. He is towards the back, shoes dragging, bag dragging. He catches my eye and smiles. It’s not a big smile.
TAD
It’s always best to start moving before the sun is up. Miss most of the traffic that way, although it does make the day feel particularly long. It’s winter, so that means starting later than we would have to in the summer months. The others seem to mind more than I do. I’ve been doing it most of my life, moving. Some of the youngsters, they’ve got more used to staying put for a few months each time. Some of them would like to be properly settled. They like the security, they like the schools. They make other friends at the school gates, other women. Some of them talk about getting houses, staying put. It’s up to them; I wouldn’t hold a grudge. But within our family, there is a normality, a sense of being settled, as if we aren’t people who move around. We are just the same as you.
I like the feeling of adventure, seeing where we end up. I think I’m the only one. Perhaps I am nostalgic about it; following a tip-off from another family, seeing it through. I know my sisters, my cousins, some of them want to be more like the communities of the towns and cities around us. Their arms stretch out further than they used to. They will allow everyone in. It’s not a bad thing.
You may be wondering why we’re on the move this time. The main thing is, see, someone got himself into a little bit of trouble at the last place. Not just any old trouble; this was big stuff. My brother, Charlie, he did something. We were so disappointed. It made us look cheap, like people who don’t care. But we do. Part of me wanted to leave him behind, to drum home to him that this is not how we function. But I couldn’t. Not Charlie.
They won’t find us where we’re settling this time. Other side of the country, for a start. We’ve not settled on a proper coast before. The sea will be nice. Great for the kids. Some of the birds are beautiful down there, I’ve heard – not that I’d be one to snatch them,