With All Her Heart
By Kat Brookes
()
About this ebook
A crisis brought her back home.
Can forgiveness give them a future?
To hide a precious secret, Lila Gleeson fled her hometown and the man she loved. But when she returns to help her ailing foster mother, she can’t avoid Mason Landers, the spark they still share—or his instant bond with the son he never knew existed. Now she might have a second chance at a family with Mason…if they can find faith and forgive.
Kat Brookes
Kat Brookes is an award-winning author and past Romance Writers of America Golden Heart Finalist. She pens stories of love, laughter and faith for both adult and young adult readers. She is married to her childhood sweetheart and has been blessed with two beautiful daughters. Kat is represented by Michelle Grajkowski with 3 Seas Literary Agency. Email: [email protected] . Website: www.katbrookes.com. Facebook: Kat Brookes.
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With All Her Heart - Kat Brookes
Chapter One
The key will be under the flowerpot, where I’ve always kept it. Nothing’s changed.
Lila Gleeson glanced at the screen of her cell phone, her stomach in knots as she reread Mama Tully’s text message from that morning. That last statement couldn’t be more wrong—everything in her life had changed since she’d left Sweet Springs, Georgia, some nine years ago. She was no longer the young girl who had been tossed about in the foster system, yearning so desperately for a family of her own, for the love she’d always been denied.
She was a grown woman of twenty-seven now. A single mother who, unlike her own parents, made certain her child knew just how very much he was loved. Eight-year-old Finn was her life’s biggest blessing.
Her misty gaze lifted, once more taking in the charming old Victorian house that had been her home for three and a half years of her teenage life. It had been the first time she’d ever felt truly wanted. And, oh, how she’d missed Mama Tully. It had taken seven years to gather up the courage to contact her foster mother after she’d run off in the middle of the night, pregnant and guilt-ridden. This would be the first time she’d seen Mama Tully, as plans for her to visit Lila and Finn where they lived in Hillyer, Alabama, hadn’t worked out as they had hoped.
The rear passenger door of her Jeep Cherokee opened. A second later, her son’s dark head poked around the rear of the vehicle where she stood trying to tamp down the rush of emotion she felt at being back in Sweet Springs again. At being home again. Should I take my backpack in with me?
he asked sleepily.
They had started out right after lunch, expecting a four-hour or so drive to Sweet Springs. Thanks to road construction they’d encountered along the way, and a late stop to stretch their legs and have dinner, they had arrived more than two hours behind schedule. Lila had called Mama Tully when they’d stopped for dinner along the way to check on her. But by the time they’d arrived at the hospital shortly before 7:00 p.m., Mama Tully had been sound asleep, recovering from her burst-appendix surgery and the subsequent peritonitis she’d suffered at just fifty years old. Lila had decided to let her sleep, leaving a message with the on-duty nurse that they would return the next morning.
Slipping her cell phone back into her purse, Lila smiled warmly at her son. We won’t be going anywhere else this evening, so you might as well take it inside with you.
Okay,
he said, disappearing around the side of the Jeep.
Emotion filled her when she thought about the choices she had made at seventeen, what that choice had taken from her son. Finn was her world. Just as his father had once been. She had tried so hard to set aside her memories of Mason Landers and the special times they had shared together. Tried to leave the past where it needed to be—in the past. But, apparently, love didn’t work that way. It held firm, rooting deep. As did the regret of what might have been. She just prayed that time, along with what Mason must have seen as her betrayal of their love, had helped him to move on.
A part of that dream had been to follow in his father’s footsteps. Sharing the Lord’s word with others as a preacher, which, according to a statement Mama Tully had made a few years before, was what exactly what Mason had been doing with his life. Not that Lila ever directly inquired about him. It was better not to, lest Mama Tully hear something in her voice that might give away Lila’s heart’s yearning for the boy she’d left behind. Man now, she mentally corrected herself, just as she was a grown woman.
Thankfully, Mason was thousands of miles away in Chile, sharing the word of God. Lila had learned that from Addy, her onetime foster sister and now her forever best friend. That was something Lila was pretty certain he might not have had the opportunity to do if she had remained in Sweet Springs after she’d found out she was carrying his child. People would have judged Mason for not practicing what he wanted to preach. His family, although incredibly kind and loving, would have been hurt deeply by the shame their son would have brought down upon them. Most especially Reverend Landers, Mason’s father, who had sadly passed away a few years after Lila had left town.
She hadn’t wanted to hurt any of them. They’d all been so good to her. She’d had to live with this choice for nine long years and would continue to do so for the rest of her life.
Sighing, Lila raised the rear lift gate of her SUV. Her son was busy gathering up the colored pencils and tablet he had entertained himself with for a good part of their trip. Mason’s son. Finn was, at least according to her long-held memories and the wallet-size senior picture she’d taken with her the day she’d left Sweet Springs, the spitting image of the father he’d never known. Something that was both comforting and heartache inducing at the same time. It was as if Mason was still a part of her life, even though she had given him up a long time ago. Not because she’d wanted to. It was what she’d needed to do for all of them, and it had broken her heart.
Funny how life worked, she thought in reflection. Mason had left Sweet Springs to go off into the world and share the word with others, while she had just returned to the place that had once been her safe haven, so very distanced from the religion she had come to know during her time there as a teen. Lord knew she’d never intended to come home again, because that was what Sweet Springs had once been for her—home—but Addy hadn’t been able to get the time off from her job to be there. So Lila had come in her stead, as she was off from school for summer break. She cherished that part of being a teacher, because it allowed her to spend more time with her son.
Overwhelmed by the flood of memories and resurfacing guilt, Lila fought the urge to get back in the car with her son and drive away. It was only her love and deep concern for her dear, sweet foster mother that kept her from doing just that. The memory of her foster mother and the unconditional love and support she had shown her over the years brought the burn of unshed tears to Lila’s eyes. Not that Mama Tully had asked for any help. She was all about giving, never taking.
Lila had turned away from prayer years before, but she felt the unexpected urge to send an anxious plea heavenward. Not that she thought the Lord would be eager to receive any requests from someone who had turned her back on Him, giving up church and avoiding prayer because she felt so much guilt about everything that had happened. She had gotten pregnant outside the bonds of marriage, no matter how much she and Mason had loved each other; she experienced tremendous guilt because she had walked away from that love with a secret that had changed her entire life. Guilt for keeping Mason’s son from him for all those years. But for the first time in what felt like forever, she truly felt the need to pray.
Lord, please give me strength as I prepare to face the life I gave up. A life I still long for, even after all these years.
Lila also knew she had to prepare herself for Mama Tully’s reaction when she finally met Finn. A face she’d only seen in pictures. Ones Lila had specifically chosen, sending Mama Tully mostly faraway shots where her son’s resemblance to Mason wasn’t as noticeable. Probably a futile effort to guard the secret she’d kept for so many years, because Mama Tully of all people knew how deeply she’d felt about Mason.
It had taken seven of the nine years she had been away to gather up enough courage to make contact with her foster mother and try to mend fences. Mama Tully had planned to come visit them the previous July, but Finn had come down with chicken pox, which Mama Tully had never had, so she’d regretfully had to cancel her trip. They’d talked about her trying again, maybe over the holidays, but Honey and Grits had come along and things just hadn’t worked out. So this visit would be their first meeting.
With a deep, fortifying breath, Lila began unloading their bags.
How’s it going up there?
she asked as she placed her suitcase onto the ground beside her.
I packed everything away except for two pencils. They rolled off my seat,
her son explained, his head dipping down as he bent to search for them.
You can look for them tomorrow,
she told him. It was late, and he was tired.
But I need them to finish my picture.
Finn had been working diligently on a drawing of a sunlit sky over a field of flowers for Mama Tully. Something to brighten up her hospital room. You can finish it in the morning before we leave for the hospital.
Okay.
Lila sifted through their things to find Finn’s suitcase. As she did so, she replayed the phone call she’d received from Addy in her mind. Mrs. Landers called to let me know Mama Tully’s sick, Lila,
her best friend had said, her voice thick with emotion. And the hospital had made it clear that they couldn’t release Mama Tully to go home unless she had someone there with her. So that would be Lila now and Addy as soon as she could arrange the time off work.
If only she had still been living in Sweet Springs, Lila thought regretfully, Mama Tully would never have waited so long to go to the hospital. Lila would have made certain of it. However, because of the life choices she had made at seventeen, she hadn’t been there when her foster mother had needed her the most. And while they had worked toward mending their fences, there was still so much they needed to work through. That would have to wait, though, because her focus needed to be on getting Mama Tully better again.
She lowered her son’s suitcase onto the gravel drive next to hers and then turned to look at the butter-yellow house with its dark green shutters and white trim. Home. Not that it was her home any longer, but that was what this place still felt like in her heart. The rightness of it made her want to weep.
Ready,
Finn said as he joined her behind the Jeep, his camo-print backpack strapped onto his back.
Grateful for her son’s timing, as she needed to keep her emotions in check, she nodded. Ready.
Grabbing the raised handles of their suitcases, they started up the walkway leading to the old Victorian. As soon as they stepped foot onto the porch, excited barking erupted from somewhere inside.
That must be Honey and Grits,
Lila said, not missing the smile that spread like a wildfire across her son’s face. Finn had always wanted a dog of his own. Unfortunately, their apartment complex didn’t allow pets. This was his chance to experience what it would be like to have a dog—or in this case two—to care for.
According to Mama Tully, the dogs would be in capable hands until Lila could get there to take over, not that she needed to take on that responsibility. Lila had insisted otherwise. It was such a small thing to do for the woman who had done so much for her. Granted, Lila had no experience with animals of any kind. But, really, how hard could it be to feed and play with a couple of tail-wagging pups?
Two very excitably loud pups. She hurried to retrieve the house key from under the flowerpot.
Momma?
Finn said worriedly.
She glanced down, trying to force the past to the back of her memories. Yes?
You look like you’re fixing to cry.
With a sniffle, Lila shook her head and forced herself to pull it together as she met her son’s worried gaze. I’m just feeling a little emotional being back here again.
It felt as though it were just yesterday that she’d stepped foot inside this old house. And yet, at times, it felt like a lifetime. In her son’s case, it had been. He’d been conceived there in Sweet Springs but had spent his life away from what rightly should have been his home. Forcing that last thought aside, she unlocked the door and then swung it open.
The excited barking grew louder as they moved through the house to the back parlor with its open pocket doors. The entry had been partitioned off by a large expandable metal gate, behind which stood two dogs, barking in unison. A light breeze filtered into the house through a partially opened back window, causing the ruffles on the tie-back curtains that framed it to flutter ever so gently.
I think they’re happy to see us,
her son exclaimed.
I’m sure they’re lonely here right now.
She pointed to the larger of the two dogs, a beautiful black-and-white male Australian shepherd with mismatched eyes. That must be Grits,
she concluded, going by Mama Tully’s description of her babies.
She pointed to the smaller dog. And she must be Honey.
Why are her legs so little?
Finn asked almost worriedly.
Lila laughed softly. I believe they’re supposed to be short like that. Honey’s not the same kind of dog as Grits, even though they have similar coloring. Mama Tully said she’s a corgi mix, and apparently they tend to have very short legs.
She smiled down at the pup. You are too cute.
The dog barked as if in agreement, and then both of Mama Tully’s babies placed their front paws up on the gate, wagging their tails wildly. Lila reached down to give them each a soothing scratch behind the ear.
Finn did the same, his grin widening. Then he looked up at her. Why are they named after food? It’s silly.
A wistful smile moved over Lila’s face. They’re named after Aunt Addy and me.
Just as they did with Mama Tully, her son considered Addy family, too, blood related or not. Because Addy was the only one who knew the truth about Mason being Finn’s daddy. Her foster sister had given Lila a place to stay when she was pregnant and then after she’d given birth to her son. She’d been a part of both her and Finn’s lives ever since.
But those aren’t your names.
No, they’re not,
she agreed. But Gramma Tully gave them names that reminded her of us. Honey for me, because after having my first taste of it after coming to live with her I would put it on almost everything I ate. Your aunt Addy, on the other hand, loved her grits. Cheese grits. Sausage grits. Fried grits. Just to name a few.
Grits ran to grab a bright red rubber ball that was lying in the far corner of the room and then ran back to the gate, shoving the toy at Finn. With a bark, Honey scampered over to snatch up a smaller pink ball, which she brought back with her. Then she sat, looking up at Finn with hopeful eyes.
Lila laughed. I think they want to play.
She unlatched the gate and stepped carefully through its narrow opening. They seemed friendly enough. Once she’d been happily greeted by the pair, tails enthusiastically wagging, she motioned for Finn to join her, making certain the dogs didn’t slip out as he did so.
Honey and Grits dropped their balls and greeted Finn with eager, wet puppy kisses, nearly knocking him down with their enthusiastic welcome. Her son’s boyish giggles filled the room.
Lila stood watching, soaking in the joy that came with her son’s laughter. It was a balm to her aching soul. While her child was eager to finally meet the gramma he’d only spoken to on the phone—because Lila had been too afraid of Mama Tully guessing her long-kept secret were she to meet Finn in person—he’d also fretted over leaving Alabama at the start of summer break and missing out on all the fun his friends would be having. Maybe, just maybe, the pups would help to ease Finn’s longing for his friends back home.
As she stood watching her son playing with the two dogs, she noted several near yawns, which he determinedly held at bay. Finn was tired and understandably so. I think it’s time for you to turn in for the night.
But, Momma...
he groaned.
It’s been a long day,
she told him. And we’ll be heading to the hospital in the morning. You’ll have plenty of time to play with these two when we get back tomorrow,
she said. Now, let’s go get you washed up and then into bed.
Okay,
he relented, sounding as tired as she herself felt.
Once that was done, she tucked her son into bed in what had once been Addy’s bedroom. I’ll grab the rest of our things from the Jeep. Then I’ll take Honey and Grits out for a short walk before I turn in for the night. Will you be okay in here?
Momma, I’m not a baby,
he replied.
A tender smile moved across her face. No, sweetie, you’re not.
Finn had lived in several places, so sleeping in a new bedroom wasn’t as intimidating to him as it might be to other children. And knowing that it was his gramma Tully’s house had to be comforting, as well. But she’d had to ask. Leaning in, she placed a good-night kiss on her son’s brow. Then she straightened, wished him good-night once more and then started for the door.
Don’t forget to call Aunt Addy,
Finn called after her.
She cast a smile back over her shoulder. I won’t. Hopefully she’ll be able to free up some time to come join us here soon. ’Night, sweetie.
’Night, Momma.
Turning off the overhead light, she left only the soft glow of the night-light on before pulling the door closed behind her and heading outside. Her thoughts went back to Mama Tully, hating the idea of her lying there all alone in that hospital room. She hoped they’d be able to bring Mama Tully