A Dominion of One
By Erle Enson
()
About this ebook
1915. A world in the throes of upheaval and change.
Irwin Rawson was raised poor on a homestead outside uptight Enderby, Manitoba. Troubled by an ugly, dark family secret, he finds himself fatherless, then soon loses his mother and his home. Expelled from school, dirt mooning under his fingernails, shoveling coal for pennies, Irwin's future is bleak.
Ethel Handley is seventeen, just married, and expecting. It's a bad marriage ending in tragedy before she flees Toronto to train as a teacher. Shedding her past, she arrives in Enderby to begin a quiet, blissfully anonymous new life teaching in a one-room school.
As grim deprivation and strict temperance grip the decade from 1915 to 1925, they come of age enduring a hard world threatening to reveal unthinkable truths about each of them — who they are and where they've come from.
Irwin and Ethel collide, then find comfort in their shared torment. Their love story is one for the ages, forbidden and sweet, hidden from view. Until that is impossible.
Not even love can keep them together. In the agony of their separation, only one thing is certain….
You can't see forever. Even on the prairie.
Related to A Dominion of One
Related ebooks
"It's Not the Olden Days Anymore, Grandma!": A Memoir about "Those" Good Old Days. Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEpic Unlimited: Volume Two Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAugust Dust Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWilla Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRemarkables Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Anne of Avonlea Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Infinity Image Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWelcome to Scarecrow Hollow Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Cold Dark Heart of the World Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsChildren of May: A Woman's Journey Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhen Lightning Strikes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5One For Sorrow Two For Joy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Bones of Time Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Tender Stranger Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWelcome to Scarecrow Hollow: Ghost Tales Mystery Series, #2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMorning Ran Red Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Verses for Children, and Songs for Music Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Handful of Courage Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Wedding Plot: A Mercy Carr Mystery Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Orphant Annie Story Book - Illustrated by Johnny Gruelle Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRolling Waters: A Southern Memoir Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Garden Without Walls Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Now-A-Days Fairy Book - Illustrated by Jessie Willcox Smith Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAnne of Avonlea Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Anne of Avonlea (Golden Deer Classics) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAnne of Avonlea (Anne Shirley Series #2) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhen the River Ran Backward Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFinal Straw (Urban Hunters #8) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsStories to Inspire and Tales that Terrify Vol.5: Stories to Inspire and Tales that Terrify, #5 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGame Plan: A Kira Brightwell Novel: Kira Brightwell Mysteries, #4 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Small Town & Rural For You
The Poisonwood Bible: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Prodigal Summer: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Beartown: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pet Sematary Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Needful Things Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Demon Copperhead: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek: A Novel Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Book Woman's Daughter: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Dry: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Foster Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5We Begin at the End Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Chasing the Boogeyman: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5His & Hers: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Summit Lake Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Our Town: A Play in Three Acts Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Small Things Like These Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Midnight at the Blackbird Cafe: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Bean Trees: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Road to Dalton Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Britt-Marie Was Here: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Us Against You: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Cujo Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Now That You Mention It: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Trust Me When I Lie: A True Crime-Inspired Thriller Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Visitors Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Peace Like a River Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Winners: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Moon of the Crusted Snow: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Other Name: Septology I-II Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Blackwater: The Complete Saga Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for A Dominion of One
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
A Dominion of One - Erle Enson
PART ONE
ONE | September 1915
Enderby, Manitoba
(Irwin: 12 years old)
THE WORLD – BIGGER THAN Irwin ever imagined – was all horizon from his turbulent perch above the dusty little prairie town. For a moment his chest swelled at the spectacle of it, despite dread flopping around in his gut. He wasn’t here for the inspiring view. Seventy feet stretched a mile to the ground. Maybe he wouldn’t jump after all.
Never in his whole long life had the twelve-year-old been up so high. The grain elevator – an incomplete skin of fir cribbing wrapped around post-and-beam bones – was already the most imposing structure in Enderby. It made him puny and gigantic at the same time.
The small giant worried he might wet his pants. Excitement, maybe. Fear, most assuredly.
Legs willowing under him, he braved the edge of the cupola platform and resolved his concern, piddling a thin rain that beaded away in a gust without even reaching the ground.
If he opened his arms, the buffeting air might just carry him away to soar like a red-tailed hawk over Main Street and out onto the vast Manitoba prairie.
Don’t be stupid, he told himself, buttoning his dungarees. Monty would shoot you down with buckshot before you got to Paxton’s store.
Two hundred feet away, a few kids still muddled around outside the one-room schoolhouse. Irwin bolted the instant Miss Jones released them, but Clarence Veitch was only now leading his horse from the stable, his little sisters waiting at the gate like a trio of birch stumps in matching grey dresses and bleached pinnies. Susan VanDer Klerg emerged from the outhouse – a rosy peach of a girl, with a bosom now, but she sure spent a lot of time in the dunny.
He dusted things up with Clarence that morning – over Susan’s affections, naturally – and they got their paws strapped. Irwin had a note for his parents, and his hands were still so sore he’d barely made it up the elevator’s rough-cut ladder.
The climb was worth the pain. The Canadian Pacific rails shot to the horizon in both directions, cutting through the mottled patchwork of cultivation and wildlands. He followed the line west beyond the tiny unpainted shapes on Prairieview Road that were his own home, over the islands of trees floating on a rolling sea, to Camp Hughes, which Dad said was a substantial military tent city out on the raw prairie. A don’t-go-there place. Like the elevator.
To the east, beyond the sawmill and Smitty’s Pond, hazed bumps hinting at buildings hugged the earth as if they might be thrown clear into the expanse of the sky.
Carberry. Lots of people way over there, he thought.
He found a remnant of a carpenter’s pencil beside his boot.
Irwin Rawson,
his swollen hand scrawled across the post beside him. Giant. 1915.
It would be there forever, and the thought was awesome in its possibilities. The things this post would see, up here in the sky. Steam engines and horses and wagons for a hundred more years, suns and moons, storms and droughts, generations of mothers and daughters, dads and sons and fathers.
Maybe it would be the last thing he ever wrote, he considered. He held out his arm and dropped the bit of pencil. It pitched and yawed as the wind pushed it out and away. One large step and he’d be a broken egg down there. Splattered on the stacks of wood.
Then it wouldn’t matter what the ugly thing was his mother spoke of, or that his dad might leave them, or that he was the reason. It wouldn’t matter if he was sent upstairs as punishment for fighting, made to practice arithmetic until numbers were just Tinker Toy pieces he could assemble in his head then spill out as sums.
He didn’t jump. He didn’t hold out his arms and fly. He slowly climbed down and headed for home, knowing when he handed over the note his old man would put him in the attic again.
♦ ♦ ♦
IRWIN TRUDGED ALONG RUTTED Prairieview Road, kicking fibrous dollops of horse turd away when he found them.
Near the road’s terminus sat the Rawson house girded by a wooden granary, storage shed and privy, none of which seemed very grand even beside the modest two-storey home.
Pride of place was reserved for the barn with its grandly sloped tin roof bright in the sun. Sheets of corrugated roofing flowed like a protective wing over the chook shed his father had added to the barn to shelter the chickens and their guardian. This was the capital of Irwin’s little dominion of one, home to his black lab Happy, horses Sally O, Boris, Patches and Charlie, and Mabel the Guernsey. And some rats if Happy wasn’t doing his job.
His mother must have gone to a neighbour’s, as the house was empty. She often visited when people fell ill, or when she’d been arguing with Dad as they had last night.
An apple pie cooled on the hewn-oak counter and split-pea soup idled at the back of the range, the air thick with the salty rich savour of it. He went out and fed the hens, pumped water for the stock trough, and filled the kitchen wood box. Then he waited outside, the argument he’d heard last night and the message from Miss Jones heavy as anvils in his mind.
Happy came to keep him company on the porch, then bounded out to the road to yell dog-swears at a passing train. When his dad came in from the fields, the teacher’s note was not well received.
You’re nothing but a trashy little brawler.
He cuffed the back of Irwin’s head. Dad never hit hard, but he got his point across. Upstairs. You’ll not have supper with us tonight.
Another night in prison, Irwin thought. Starving to death.
Yes... Sssir,
Irwin stammered. He moved into the house as quickly as he could without running, climbing the stairs two at a time to the open-raftered attic.
A book of arithmetic lessons was on the table. It was always there, waiting for him to come up.
I’ll see the next chapter completed by morning,
his dad called after him. And don’t write on the pages... use the damned pad of paper for your answers!
♦ ♦ ♦
HE CLOSED THE ATTIC DOOR and lit the lamp, breaking two matches in the process. His hands shook, not so much from his anger at being up here again as with worry his dad would leave. That’s what his parents had been fighting about last night, and it left him unmoored.
He’d been in bed and heard them through the pine-plank wall – that’s how loud they were. His dad said to his mother, We survive, but that’s all it is. I’ve never been happy. I don’t know why I stay.
For the farm. For our son,
his mother replied.
"That chestnut again. Don’t remind me. He’s your son, not mine."
Irwin’s heart lurched. Maybe he’d heard wrong. He didn’t know what had heated them up, like pots about to boil over. He was still trying to piece things together when his mother said, You may not be his father but you’re his dad and he loves you!
It might never be enough,
his dad said.
"It has to be. Neither of us can undo what happened. We can at least protect him from such an ugly thing. Either accept that or leave – those are your choices. Always were."
Irwin’s thoughts rang with this. He didn’t want to be a bastard. That’s what kids call children without fathers, he believed.
Irwin the bastard. The one thing worse than a son of a bitch.
He’d gone to school in the morning pondering it and left the school intending to leap off the top of the new grain elevator. A grand protest of an ugly thing he couldn’t untangle. He’d leave before his dad could. Sometimes, you had to go the extra mile to show grown-ups how badly you hurt.
But all he’d done was pee over the side and leave his name on a post. He existed. Who his father was, if it wasn’t his dad, made no difference to him.
That wasn’t the truth. It mattered like breathing mattered.
Now, sitting at his table in the attic, Irwin opened Grampa’s ragged 1898 Pears’ Shilling Cyclopedia, its spine cracked and pages tinged yellow. It didn’t say what a bastard was. But it said Bastardy
is being illegitimate. When he looked up the word illegitimate, Irwin decided that, indeed, he was Bastardy if not a full-on one.
It didn’t make him feel any better.
Until last night, he thought his life was near-on perfect.
Minus the attic.
Like most families in the Enderby district, they didn’t have money or fancy things, but the table always had something even now that the war made so many things too dear.
His mother was a good cook – she could find a meal for three in a morsel of beef, gussied up with potatoes and onions. He didn’t want for much.
But the words they’d said in the night made him want. They put a gnawing need in him, an infestation of doubt and questioning.
He was alone with this. Nobody to confide in or inform him with certainty what the ugly thing might be.
He pushed it all down, as if he had pockets inside for such things. Places to squirrel away thoughts that hurt if handled too much. Not gone. Saved for later.
Irwin sharpened his pencil using his old steel pocketknife, the one he’d found outside the school’s stable in Grade Two, flicking the curled shavings to the floor and rebelliously pushing them against the wall with his feet.
The day was ending outside. Through the window and beyond the scrubby willows and wild plum trees lining Mill Creek, the skeletal peak of the new elevator in Enderby was a faint candle in the last wash of sunlight. Beneath it were the churches.
Those lesser spires should have been taller than the elevator. But then, he considered, being pious didn’t seem to matter much unless you were in church. That’s why dads were allowed to smack their boys, mothers had things they couldn’t undo or tell about, and grain was lifted higher than God almighty.
♦ ♦ ♦
IRWIN PRETENDED TO BE ASLEEP in his bed downstairs when his mother came home in the dark, hours later. Through the bedroom door, slightly ajar, he heard his father challenge her, demanding to know where she’d been.
At the Patterson farm,
she said.
Doing what?
"Marie has an infection in her… A woman’s trouble. Penny Paxton told me about it yesterday and I went to check on Marie’s condition. I took garlic. It fixes so many things, even that if applied appropriately. She’s alone most of the time up there, with the children in school and Gavin off in France."
It’s miles away. You went on foot. You’re impractical.
Believe me, I used the time well,
she said. It calmed me. I haven’t been able to think since last night. You unnerve me so.
Irwin lost interest about the moment she’d mentioned a woman’s infection, and feigning sleep became the real thing. He roused when his mother quietly slipped into his bedroom to deliver a bowl of split-pea soup, thick buttered bread and a glass of milk.
Don’t tell your father,
she whispered, setting the food on his dresser. If you’re quiet later, there’s a big slice of apple pie in the icebox for you, too. Good night, my boy.
Thank you, Mother,
Irwin rasped in the dim light coming through the doorway.
She’d been crying. Little traces of pink on her cheeks told him all he needed to know. His mom and dad were falling apart.
Only a few minutes after she closed the door behind her, through the plank wall he heard last night’s conversation reignite in their bedroom. He ate awkwardly on his bed, one hand holding the bowl, the other spooning soup to his mouth while an ear was pressed against the rough pine.
Their heated words, reduced to low notes by the wood barrier, brought no greater clarity than they had previously. Dad groused about a nameless man who had done him wrong long ago. And his mother once again told him he could stay or go, but she hoped he’d stay.
His father thumped the wall, his voice booming at times. So angry Irwin feared there’d be violence, and he could not live with that. He crept from his room, taking his empty bowl and glass to the kitchen and returned to bed with the hatchet from the kindling box. He’d use it if his dad hit his mother. In his bed, immersed in pitch black, Irwin pulled the blanket over the small axe, then all the way up around his ears.
His mother and father fell silent at last, and he slept.
He woke in the dark to the sound of their bedroom door opening and feet moving through the great room. The front door groaned on its hinges then closed. There was the distant alarm of Happy’s bark, muffled from inside the barn, then the sound of Sally O moving out of the farmyard onto Prairieview Road.
His dad returned in the wee hours. Irwin heard quiet sounds of reconciliation between his parents, then nothing more.
Irwin slept late – he’d tossed around most of the night. Returning the mercifully unused hatchet to the box, he quickly devoured his big slice of apple pie and went out to the dunny shortly after seven. In the eastern sky a pillar of smoke lifted in the still air. Far off. The other side of Enderby.
He finished his chores, milking Mabel and putting her and the horses out to pasture for the day. His dad was in the kitchen when he returned with the milk pail.
Irwin said nothing about what he’d heard in the night. He was just thankful his dad hadn’t taken up his mother’s invitation to leave for good. He must have settled his mind, Irwin considered.
Not mine. It roiled him still, would ride high in his thoughts until he understood, but a night churning in and out of sleep dulled the worst of his distress. Now he could almost imagine he’d dreamed it. Almost.
Let’s not disturb your mother,
his dad cautioned. She had a rough night. Not a lot of sleep.
Sure,
Irwin said tersely. He carefully put the milk on the counter.
You need breakfast,
his dad said. Want me to make you eggs?
I’ll be okay,
Irwin told him. Be late if I don’t get going.
He grabbed two Imperial Keeper apples – one for breakfast, one for lunch – and walked the mile east along Prairieview Road to school.
The schoolyard was a din of chatter about the fire. The sawmill’s little office had ignited during the night and the mill’s fire team arrived too late to save it.
After school, the older boys went to ogle the carnage out on the Carberry Road. Irwin tagged along at the back of the pack.
The office – a shack where people went to pay for their lumber – was a jumble of charred boards, roof collapsed into it. Warped corrugated tin jutted from the mess, a scorched sculpture mimicking something Irwin had seen in Harper’s Bazar at the Carberry beauty shop with his mother.
It’s not much to look at,
Teddy Patterson, who was in Grade Nine, observed beside him. That shack isn’t much bigger than our chicken coop.
Yeah,
Irwin agreed. Not much at all.
Still, it’s gonna put the whole operation out of action for a few days, I bet,
Teddy said. That’s where they keep all the business books. I figure cash, order sheets, customer records and everything else burned up in there.
Probably the stove started it,
Teddy’s younger brother Neil surmised. Stovepipe fire. Pretty common.
The throng of boys turned for town and walked the quarter mile into Enderby unimpressed by the spectacle of the day. Irwin peeled away from the dusty little troop as they passed the train station.
The passenger service would come through soon, and he wanted to be there for it.
TWO | September 1915
Toronto, Ontario
(Ethel: 17 years old)
ETHEL HAYTON WAS EXHILARATED. Expecting!
Her visitor had come a week after the wedding, but not since. She was certain at last, based on her occasional swooning and queasiness and the pencil-marked calendar pinned inside her closet door, that it was not all in her mind.
It was exciting and mortifying all at once. She didn’t know if Roger would share her enthusiasm for starting a family. Indeed, for just this reason, she had strategically chosen to present the delicate matter of her little bun in the oven before he departed for the plant on an otherwise dull Saturday morning.
Ethel spent extra time in the second floor’s shared bathroom down the corridor, rising well before Roger or the neighbours to make herself especially pretty for him, wishing to feel entirely grown up for the occasion. She chose a simple powder-blue shirtwaist and cream bottom-weight linen skirt with a wide, dark sash that accentuated a trim figure, knowing her still-waspish waist would soon waste and widen.
The barest touch of inexpensive tallowed lampblack lining hazel eyes procured a muted, smokey look lately becoming fashionable. Forbidden in school, she’d practiced the application of liner, burnt cork and rouge in her old bedroom on Gervais Avenue until she looked like a painted woman, then scaled it back to a more demure, respectable effect. Floral-scented Ponds perfume dabbed at her neck, complexion evened with clay slip and finished with pearling talc, lips delicately stained from a pot of ruddy red for the lightly bitten look the magazines recommended.
Her hair, a toffee hue some might deem honey by day and mousy in poor light, was a wisped coronet neatly swept around her head and pinned at the back. She had been tempted to cut it to her shoulders a week ago in a fit of modernization but resisted the trend. Instead, she’d merely streaked it for sun-glancing effects with the same precious, lightening lemon juice she used on what Roger once, in a rare but pulse-quickening compliment, called her alabaster doll’s face.
Roger came out of the bedroom in grey wool trousers and chambray shirt. He normally wore his black duck overalls, but perhaps today he had meetings with the patternmakers or his father. Roger seemed surly and she didn’t question him about it, though she was disappointed her efforts to look nice for him went unacknowledged.
If he welcomed the happy prospect, he would head off pleased and full of news to share with his father and coworkers. And if he was displeased, he still had to leave and she would have the rest of the day to consider ways to win over his sensibilities.
She was not yet eighteen. Roger was twenty, dark brown hair, seizing brown eyes, a popular and handsome young man who enjoyed his liquor but got up every morning, shook out the cobwebs and went to work. His father’s machine shop employed several dozen men but had, in the main, been a break-even prospect for years. The war effort was turning things around, though Roger’s salary was still paltry. That barely mattered to Roger. He was determined to volunteer for the Canadian Expeditionary Force and head to Europe.
Ethel was grateful that, so far at least, Mr. Hayton had forbidden it – pointing out that Roger now had a wife to take care of, and further proclaiming that his only son was more valuable making parts for over there than being blown apart over there.
She had lately tried to convince herself that becoming parents would kindle something more substantial between them – a duty, perhaps even a shared mission that would spark their marriage into something it clearly was not yet.
But Roger was incapable of such depth. The happy family just wasn’t going to happen. This became abundantly clear the moment she shared the news.
You’re bloody stupid!
he hissed. This is the last thing I need!
Always his need. Never hers. Roger’s reaction was shattering, but she stared at him defiantly. Their cramped second-floor apartment, this tiny living room, felt too small to contain them both. She wanted to back away but her feet wouldn’t move.
He stepped closer, menacing. What are you going to do about it?
he demanded.
Nothing!
Ethel declared. What on Earth are you trying to say?
But she knew exactly what he meant.
Not trying, deary. I’m telling you to get rid of it!
Roger’s face was contorted. She understood this was going to flare into something much worse if she didn’t rein herself in.
What kind of animal are you?
she lashed back, casting off her misgivings. "It’s our baby! You don’t just get rid of a baby!"
Roger’s fingers clamped her shoulders. Have you lost your mind? If you think I’m going to be pinned down like this, you’re insane. It’s not happening!
Don’t shout at me – I’m not a child!
This in a voice larger than she was. He shook her roughly, and instead of pushing him away her hands went to her belly, protectively.
I’ll knock some sense into you!
He slapped her. She reeled from the strike.
Stop it!
Her cheek burned like a pot-scald. He clubbed her with a fist, sending her to the floor.
The thrashing was brief but intense. Folding in on herself, withdrawing, she went prone and absorbed his blows until he was spent. When he stopped, he collapsed into the lone armchair, chest heaving.
Neither spoke. She crawled from the room, entire body hot from the abuse. In the hall, wincing at the effort of slipping on shoes, Ethel palmed hands up the wall to right herself then took her heavy wool coat from its hook and left the apartment.
But Roger was not quite done. Hearing the door open, he scrambled from the living room and caught her in the doorway, taking a thick rope of her hair in one hand, the other at her throat. He stood behind her as they reached the stairway above the building’s vestibule and growled into her ear, You think you’re leaving? Well, this is how it ends.
And with that ringing in her mind, Ethel sailed out over the stairs, hit the wooden treads half-way down and tumbled to the bottom landing.
She couldn’t breathe for a terrifying moment. Like a slapped newborn, she suddenly gasped and sucked in a lungful of air. She unfurled her legs and used the pine newel post to haul herself upright.
At least she could stand. Everything hurt but the thick coat protected her from more serious injury.
She looked up the stairs. Roger was not there.
Ethel pulled open the front door and ventured out into the chill air, her future as grey and unknown as the day around her.
♦ ♦ ♦
THE GENERAL POST OFFICE LADIES’ ROOM was not the place to lose a baby, but it had been the only sanctuary she could find when the first wave of cramps swept through her.
Weary from walking for so long through the bleak morning, she had ventured onto Adelaide Street, though it was busier, and she was trying to take side-streets to avoid Roger or anyone he might recruit to search for her.
When the pain started, she knew what was happening, had been praying it wouldn’t, and it broke her heart that she could do nothing to stop it.
She could not return home – it was too far, there wasn’t time, and it was no longer safe for her there. So, she hurried into the hulking limestone Post Office and endured the ordeal alone in a panelled lavatory stall.
Once the bleeding and cramps slowed, she forced herself to move, pulling her mind away from the turbulence washing about her, concentrating only on what came next. Confronting an entirely changed world.
It frightened her that Roger might be searching the city by now, ferreting through the streets with his jaw set and legs pumping, determined to finish what he had started.
She steeled herself. Back straight and shoulders square though every part of her was sore and damaged. She stepped out of the Post Office and glanced quickly along the street before numbly entering the bleak afternoon. A squall of rain blustered up from the lake, lead pellets bouncing against the pavement in a hissing barrage that dulled her senses. It abated almost as quickly as it had arrived, leaving her damp and cold, pulling her coat collar tight to her neck.
She walked slowly, far weaker than her expression, heading for Gervais Avenue and what she prayed would be safe shelter with her brother.
♦ ♦ ♦
SHE PRESSED WESTWARD ON Adelaide Street, moving numbly block after block past the grandiose facades of stone-footed banks and less inspired shops of red brick and plate glass, her reflection a peeking companion beside her, to where her only possible refuge might be.
Her tired mind wandered. When she was a little girl, she loved playing in the rain. She didn’t remember any grey days like this. Just happy wet days puddling around in the small park near the town house. Her brother and guardian Peter, looking much younger than he did now, called her to the door and scolded her. He wasn’t her father, she told him. And just as well, he answered, gruffly pulling her by the hand through the doorway into that comfortable, warm and dry home.
She had begun seeing Roger surreptitiously six months ago, after first meeting him at the Big Nickel Theatre on Yonge Street. Peter would have been apoplectic had he ever caught her sneaking out alone to be with a boy. But he and Caroline had never missed her for a couple of hours in the evening – they were quite preoccupied by their young sons. As long as they believed she was up in her room quietly behaving herself, they barely paid Ethel a moment’s consideration.
As Ethel was a minor, Peter begrudgingly consented to the marriage once it became known the couple had such aspirations. Roger Hayton was, after all, the son of a well-established industrial leader in Toronto. Roger's father was determined to keep his son from volunteering for service and told Ethel she might just be the anchor that could keep Roger from drifting away.
Still, neither Peter nor Roger's parents chose to be party to what they considered an elopement – no publishing of bans, no church wedding, no pomp nor circumstance.
An ill-considered rush to matrimony,
Peter called it.
On a sunny June afternoon just a week after her treacly sweet graduation from Preston Preparatory School, Ethel tied the knot with Roger in a simple ceremony presided over by a Justice of the Peace.
Two of Roger’s friends, both home from training at Camp Niagara before shipping to England, served as witnesses, standing straight but smirking and elbowing each other through the brief nuptials. She had done it not so much for love as for freedom – her brother’s oversight was sometimes suffocating. And though she could not claim a blissful first three months of wedlock, it had been comfortably domestic until now.
Ever the will-o-the-wisp and always on the lookout for a good deal, Roger had married Ethel because she assured him it was the only way he would ever get, euphemistically, what he wanted.
Simple as that.
In exchange for a husband, Ethel promised to be there for him at the end of a long day, or (more likely in her mind) a night at the pub with the boys. They did indeed take comfort in one another at times. But even from the first days of their marriage he had expressed his resentment at being held down and held back
by a pretty but entirely uninspiring wife. His words, not hers.
Get to Peter. A singular task before her. If anyone could help her now, it was Peter. She drew a deep breath and felt better for it, then rounded the corner at Gervais Avenue.
A shop’s outdoor clock clanged its one o’clock remark through a steady sizzle of rain. Her feet were leaden as she moved up the concrete steps to the doorway of her brother’s town house, praying that he would be home on a Saturday afternoon, beseeching God to provide kindness where lately there had only been scorn.
Roger would come here looking. Perhaps he had been here already. No matter, she thought. There was no other place for her to go. She tried the door, found it locked, then rapped the iron ring to knock with all the urgency her pathetic frame could offer.
Peter,
she called and slapped a palm against the frosted pane beside the door. Peter?
At last, a shadow moved behind the window, then Peter was standing in front of her, holding the door open not quite wide enough to let her enter. He was tall and so very thin – thinner still than when she had last seen him.
Oh Peter,
she cried, an unwelcome curdle of panic rushing through her, Help me.
What in God’s name are you doing here?
he demanded, eyes wide with – what was the look? Shock? Anger?
She canted forward and moaned, He beat me.
Peter stopped her with a steadying hand then stepped aside. Come in. Quickly now.
He studied the street behind her, scanning, then closed the door. His face pinched momentarily. You’re a bloody mess.
I know.
She wiped her nose with the back of her hand, swallowed and nearly choked on her words. He just kept hitting.
Peter offered her a soft look, but any real compassion in it was like vapour, gone as soon as it appeared. His hand moved toward her before he checked the motion, and his fingers instead felt for the watch chain fastened to his tweed vest.
Ethel knew him too well – to Peter, what had happened was far less important than what was going to happen if his political ambitions were thwarted by some sordid family scandal.
I told him I’m having a baby,
Ethel said. He hurled me down the stairs and –
Good Lord, girl!
I... I lost...
She wanted to say It
but the callousness of that word kept it from her lips. There’ll be no child.
Her brother simply croaked: Damn.
His expression dimmed, perhaps self-concern met and for a moment countered by whatever pity he could muster.
She shook herself out of the heavy, wet coat. I’m sorry to come to you like this,
she managed to say as he helped her to the settee. She sat, folding the coat across her lap to hide any stain that might show on her skirt.
Let me get you a towel,
Peter said and disappeared up the stairs to the bathroom. She sagged into the plush upholstery and waited for him, shivering.
The parlour around her was filled with comfortable, expensive furniture, much of it once belonging to their parents. She had grown up here and left so foolishly just months ago. Now she felt oddly estranged from these once warm surroundings.
A single campaign poster, likely a printer’s proof for Peter’s review, lay on a sideboard. His law firm was thriving, and he was being courted to consider running as the Conservative nominee in the November by-election. A long shot to be sure, but some of the more optimistic newspapers had him selected as the next Member of Parliament.
He, Caroline and their young sons made for a lovely sepia-toned family portrait on the poster. Handley is Our Man,
it proclaimed. The original photograph was displayed over the fireplace here in the parlour. It showed them together, with Peter