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    Barracking from the Sidelines: The Songs Book 2
    Barracking from the Sidelines: The Songs Book 2
    Barracking from the Sidelines: The Songs Book 2
    Ebook406 pages2 hours

    Barracking from the Sidelines: The Songs Book 2

    By Greg Tuck

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    About this ebook

    Politics in Australia offers up some very strange characters who become even stranger when elected. This book contains parodies of well-known songs about the weird antics that they get up to and the awkward positions they find themselves in. There has been a revolving door on Prime Ministers. Cabinet ministers seem to forget their oaths of office, and ministerial responsibility disappeared long ago. Australian politicians leave themselves wide open for criticism and ridicule. This book, along with the other books in the series, shines a light on some of the important events on the Australian political stage since 2014.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherGreg Tuck
    Release dateDec 9, 2023
    ISBN9798215637364
    Barracking from the Sidelines: The Songs Book 2
    Author

    Greg Tuck

    I am a former primary teacher and principal, landscape designer and gardener and now a full time author living in Gippsland in the state of Victoria in Australia. Although I write mainly fictional novels, I regularly contribute to political blogs and have letters regularly published in local and Victorian newspapers. I write parodies of songs and am in the process of writing music for the large number of poems that I have written.

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      Book preview

      Barracking from the Sidelines - Greg Tuck

      THE SONGS

      This is to the tune of Words as sung by The Bee Gees regarding Scott Morrison saying that he never said the people in the asylum seeker hotel in Melbourne weren't refugees. He is recorded on tape saying what he is now denying. There have been so many other instances where his later denial of his comments can't be backed up. (2022)

      Scott, your strange and smirky smile

      Is a smile that strikes fear in meg

      Even though this year has just begun

      It makes us think just how bad it’ll be

      While we fall prey to worry

      You bask in your own self-glory

      That’s all made up,

      Right now, you never give us time

      To let us try somehow, to call your bluff

      You use a careful choice of words

      That avoid all responsibility

      You twist things so they’re not lies

      And dismiss all accountability

      We think that you don’t even mean

      A single word you say

      It’s only words, and words are all you have

      To try to shift the blame

      We think that you don’t even mean

      A single word you say

      It’s only words, and words are all you have

      To try to shift the blame

      It’s only words, and words are all you have

      To try to shift the blame

      It’s only words, and words are all you have

      To try to shift the blame

      This is to the tune of Land of Make Believe as sung by The Moody Blues about Scott Morrison’s continued avoidance of the truth and responsibility. (2022)

      He’s living in the land of make-believe

      But he just doesn’t want to know

      Won't admit his fault with vaccines

      For games are all that he en-joys

      He said that opening up was the way to go

      He bends all kinds of truth

      Rejects facts saying they’re not right

      Hopes that we will just push through

      All the times we’ve heard

      Him trying to sell his lie

      We’re best in the world

      With no facts for the reason why, why

      When we were stuck in lockdowns

      He tried to turn of life support

      Still thousands of people trapped overseas

      Mustn't be very good at sport

      He knows it’s true

      But says there’s nothing he can do

      And it is all Labor’s fault too.............................

      This is to the tune Vincent as sung by Don McLean about what might happen in May (2022)

      Come election night

      When at last we’ve all have had our say

      A change may have taken place

      And we may be filled with some joy and hope

      Up on Capital Hill

      A place known to attract real dills

      Maybe the seats will at last be filled

      With people who care and understand

      They won’t make demands

      They’ll show responsibility

      And introduce some wanted sanity

      I suppose it’s good to dream

      Those there don’t listen, they do not know how

      They just love talking loud

      Come election night

      With a new team there in place

      Ones who only have one face

      Ones who will always tell us the truth

      And deal with issues

      Not just kick cans down the road

      And boost their own egos

      But ones who care and understand

      They won’t make demands

      They’ll show responsibility

      And introduce some wanted sanity

      I suppose it’s good to dream

      Those there don’t listen, they do not know how

      They just love talking loud

      This is to the tune of America from West Side Story as sung by Trini Lopez about the PM avoiding blame (2022)

      Blame the disease on Victoria

      Lack of vaccines on Victoria

      Poor quarantine on Victoria

      RAT kits not free on Victoria

      Have to save the economy

      Though some will die needlessly

      It’s not Scott’s responsibility

      Not when he’s got Dan you see

      How does Scott deal with omicron?

      Hasn’t a clue what’s going on

      The vaccines he forgot to order

      So he blames it on state borders

      Announcements but nothing’s done

      Don’t worry he’ll blame someone

      The truth’s something he tries to hide

      Promises made are all denied

      Blame the disease on Victoria

      Lack of vaccines on Victoria

      Poor quarantine on Victoria

      RAT kits not free on Victoria

      Couldn’t hold a hose told Victoria

      Turns up his nose to Victoria

      Doesn’t smell like a rose in Victoria

      Will lose lots of votes in Victoria………..

      This is to the tune of Cool for Cats as sung by UK Squeeze about RATs kits misinformation (2022)

      The government has said that they have acted very fast

      But still keep throwing stones in their house made of glass

      They blame the premiers to avoid accountability

      And say that they have ordered far more kits than we’ll need

      But they make us pay for them because they’ve stuffed the economy

      Though we all know that they’re always talking through their hats

      ‘Cause they can’t explain away why there’s no RATs

      There’s no RATs (there’s no RATs)

      Chemists are complaining because they’ve no supply

      The government tells everyone that is just a lie

      They call in the A triple C to back up their claims

      Once again, they’re looking for someone else to blame

      Now they say there’s hoarding like toilet rolls again.

      But we all know that they’re always talking through their hats

      ‘Cause they can’t explain away why there’s no RATs

      There’s no RATs (there’s no RATs)

      They have said they have ordered more than enough

      But if you miss out, well that’s just your bad luck

      I had a thought as I handed over my cash

      That I was paying twice because I paid my tax

      But it was obvious that they didn’t give a RATs

      They continue to tell me that they have just ordered stacks

      But they can’t explain away why there’s no RATs

      There’s no RATs (there’s no RATs)

      They’ve cut restrictions till now there’s none at all

      There ain’t enough vaccines for kids to go to school

      They tell us not to worry, it’s just omicron

      But they haven’t got a bloody clue about what’s going on

      Been the same for the past two years since covid came along

      And we all know that they’re always talking through their hats

      ‘Cause they can’t explain away why there’s no RATs

      There’s no RATs (there’s no RATs)

      This to the tune of Lady in Red as sung by Chris de Burgh about debt deficit and the economy (2022)

      We’ve never heard so many political lies

      We’ve never seen poor Joshy try

      To try to explain the Coalition’s stance

      About the state of finance

      And rorts and grants

      And we’ve never seen such lack of caring

      For all those deep in debt and on hard times

      While Scott denies

      The budget’s in the red, no surplus we’ll see

      The economy

      Now covid’s here

      Is way up that creek

      Further up than it has been

      But Scott won’t use, the money he has set aside

      To give him a chance, to avoid a landslide

      Remember when there was an emergency because the debt was high

      But they just let it climb

      To a trillion

      Now they spend like there’s a never-ending supply

      And when they spin it with their lies

      It takes your breath away

      It seems that there’s no debt ceiling

      Have they forgotten what they said or gone nuts?

      They should just resign

      The budget’s in the red, no surplus we’ll see

      The economy

      Now covid’s here

      Is way up that creek

      Further up than it has been

      But Scott won’t use, the money he has set aside

      To give him a chance, to avoid a landslide

      This is to the tune of I’m Sorry as sung by John Denver about Scott Morrison's only possible chance to get re-elected (2022)

      I take responsibility

      That’s what Scott should say

      If he wants to win our trust come election day

      Admit to what he denies

      Stop offloading blame

      And realise that he’s not playing some silly game

      "I'm sorry for upsetting France and China

      I’m sorry for the stuff ups with vaccines

      But more than anything else

      I’m sorry I didn’t help

      The blame lies right here with me"

      "Women, I did nothing to help you

      I said everything was fine

      Covering up mistakes was how I spent my time

      I was accused of lying

      Maybe Macron was right

      There are so many things that I chose to hide"

      "I'm sorry for all the lies I told you

      I'm sorry for the things I didn't do

      But more than anything else

      I’m sorry I didn’t help

      The blame lies with me, not you"

      "I’m sorry for the rorts that were granted

      I’m sorry about my bushfire absence too

      But more than anything else

      I’m sorry I didn’t help

      The blame lies with me, not you"

      This is the tune of The Times they Are a Changin’ as sung by Peter, Paul and Mary about pork barrelling and other tactics (2022)

      Come gather 'round people

      It’s time to take note

      For it’s up shit creek

      Australia’s been rowed

      But the Libs will do anything

      To secure your vote

      The smell of pork’s all-pervading

      They’ll even promise more

      If their chances are remote

      But their policies they won’t be changin’

      The journos and media

      Are still their best friends

      And we’ll be saturated

      By government ads again

      But what they say

      Well, it is nothing but spin

      It gets worse when their hopes are fading

      They’ll offer you the world

      So that they can win

      But their policies they won’t be changin’

      In the past three years

      They’ve done nothing at all

      On vaccines and climate change

      They’ve dropped the ball

      There’s still no ICAC

      So they’ll continue to rort

      For they have no idea what shame is

      They’ll make all sorts of promises

      Like they’ve done before

      But their policies they won’t be changin’

      We saw in the pandemic

      They let things get out of hand

      They’re good on announcements

      But have no real plans

      Down the road they just kick

      Lots of new cans

      But it’s our deck chairs they’re just rearranging

      It’s all smoke and mirrors

      Please understand

      That their policies they won’t be changin’

      When you line up

      And your vote is cast

      Will there be a change

      For us at last?

      Just stop and think

      Is all that I ask

      It’s an important choice you are making

      Do you want a repeat of what has just past?

      For these leopard’s spots won’t be changin’

      This is to the tune of You’re So Vain as sung by Carly Simon about the PM (2022)

      You’re a symbol of your party, but loved by all you’re not

      Your mistakes may raise many eyebrows

      But you are all they have got

      You use lots of smoke and mirrors and you speak a lot of rot

      And think that come next May you’ll be re-elected

      You’ll be re-elected and

      You’re so vain, you probably think nothing’s wrong about you

      You’re so vain, you probably think nothing’s wrong about you

      Don't you? Don't You?

      You tend to twist all the data in an attempt to deceive

      Well, you tell us that you really care

      But you know that’s hard to believe

      You look down on us from up above. Your disdain’s there to see

      You have dreams of leading the country

      Leading the country and

      You’re so vain, you probably think nothing’s wrong about you

      You’re so vain, you probably think nothing’s wrong about you

      Don't you? Don't You? Don’t You?

      You have dreams of leading the country

      Leading the country

      You’re so vain, you probably think nothing’s wrong about you

      You’re so vain, you probably think nothing’s wrong about you

      Don't you? Don't You?

      Well, you are not some Julius Caesar, or God’s appointed one

      Be aware that before this campaign is over

      You may have to account for what you’ve done

      Well, don’t think you’ will fool us this time

      We all know your motive

      You have dreams of leading the country

      Leading the country

      You’re so vain, you probably think nothing’s wrong about you

      You’re so vain, you probably think nothing’s wrong about you

      Don't you? Don't You? Don't You?

      You’re so vain, you probably think nothing’s wrong about you

      You’re so vain, you probably think nothing’s wrong about you

      Don't you? Don't You? Don't You?

      This is to the tune of Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better, From Annie Get Your Gun as sung by Doris Day and Robert Goulet. It is game on between the leaders. (2022)

      Scott: Anything you can pledge, I can pledge higher.

      I can pledge anything higher than you.

      Anthony: No you can't.

      Scott: Yes, I can.

      Anthony: No, you can't.

      Scott: Yes, I can.

      Anthony: No, you can't.

      Scott: Yes, I can, Yes, I can!

      Anthony: Anything you can spend, I can spend more of.

      One thing I’m sure I’ll spend more than you.

      Scott: No, you won’t.

      Anthony: Yes, I will.

      Scott: No, you won’t.

      Anthony: Yes, I will.

      Scott: No, you won’t!.

      Anthony: Yes, I will, Yes, I will!

      Anthony: I will save the reef, that’s my belief.

      Scott: You’ll offer just millions, I will put in billions

      Anthony: Well mine is fully costed.

      Scott: And you ask how I’ll pay?

      Anthony: Yes.

      Scott: I don’t have to say!

      Anthony: Any pork you can sell, I will offer extra.

      Scott: I can sell anything better than you.

      Anthony: No, you can't.

      Scott: Yes, I can.

      Anthony: No, you can't.

      Scott: Yes, I can.

      Anthony: No, you can't.

      Scott: Yes, I can.

      Anthony: No, you can't.

      Scott: Yes, I can.

      Anthony: No, you can't.

      Scott: Yes, I CAN!

      Scott: Anything you can give, will always be cheaper.

      You will always be cheaper than me.

      Anthony: Inland train

      Scott: Oh, that again

      Anthony: An ICAC

      Scott: I’ll do that!

      Anthony: No, you won’t!

      Scott: Yes, I will,

      Anthony: No, you won’t!

      Anthony: Anything you have done, I could have done better.

      Scott: I’m a much better leader than you.

      Anthony: No, you’re not

      Scott: Yes, I am

      Anthony: No, you’re not

      Scott: Yes, I am

      Anthony: No, you’re not

      Scott: Yes, I am

      Anthony: NO, YOU’RE NOT

      Anthony: Just for starters, I will try harder

      Scott: I’ll play the martyr because I’m much smarter

      Anthony: I will never pass the buck.

      Scott: You’ll take all the blame?

      Anthony: Yes.

      Scott: And go down in flames.....you fool!

      Anthony: Any seat you have now, I can win off you

      Scott: I can hold any seat and get some from you.

      Anthony: No, you can't.

      Scott: Yes, I can

      Anthony: No, you can't.

      Scott: Yes, I can

      Anthony: No,

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