Shackles: Keys to Break Open Your Shackles and Walk in Complete Freedom

INTRODUCTION

I ONCE WAS LOST, BUT NOW I ’M FOUND has a new meaning to me. I remember so clearly after being away from the Lord and finding my way back to Him hearing a song by Mary Mary called, Shackles . I didn’t typically listen to Christian music, but this song sounded different. The beat was obviously good, but it was the lyrics that seemed to penetrate my soul.

The more I listened to the song, the more I felt my convictions rise up. This was a double-edged sword for me. I felt the Lord calling me back to Him; however, I wasn’t sure about giving up my miserable life that I had grown so comfortable with to live a life my heart was longing for.

I couldn’t stop listening to this song. These words played over and over again:

"In the corners of my mind

I just can’t seem to find a reason to believe

That I can break free

‘Cause you see I have been down for so long

Feel like the hope is gone

But as I lift my hands, I understand

That I should praise you through my circumstance

Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance."

Boy, oh boy, it had been quite some time since I felt like putting on my dancing shoes. Yet this song seemed to shake loose everything I felt was holding me back in the cesspool of vomit I was living in. This song was my introduction to giving my life back to the Lord.

A few years later, after feeling a lot of conviction, I finally gave up the spiritual fight and decided to rededicate my life to the Lord. After doing so, He immediately began speaking to me about writing. Let me just inform you that I hated writing. It was extremely difficult for me to put on paper what I was thinking or what I was feeling on the inside. But, I followed His prompting and asked him what I should write about. He responded by telling me to write about all my past hurts, my mistakes, the demons I escaped from, the lessons I have learned, and how He turned my brokenness into being a triumphant warrior.

A few weeks into writing, I heard the Lord say, One day you will be reading your own book. I thought to myself, What? I’m just journaling, Lord, not writing a book. He said, No, I don’t make mistakes, Lori. Hold on, my love, it’s going to be a bumpy ride. I lay there in complete disbelief for what seemed like hours.

The next morning, after a long night of tossing and turning, I wondered how in the world He was going to make a writer out of me. I sat at church and heard the Lord say, Shackles... this is the title for your book. The hair on my arms and the back of my neck stood straight up. I stood there stunned for a moment and then wrote the word shackles in my journal.

I felt the Lord had a larger-than-life task ahead of me and I knew I had to learn to trust Him completely so He could help me to fulfill it. And I am sure the Lord desires the same thing for you. However, there are common things that keep us from experiencing the freedom that God desires us to walk in. We will examine the things that have kept you shackled, and through my personal testimony show you how God can unleash Himself in your life.

In each chapter we will look at the pitfalls the Devil sets before us and how to overcome them. You will read about and learn the following:

•Pinpoint defining moments that have affected your life and learn how to allow God to heal those broken places.

•How to say no to religion and yes to a personal relationship with God.

•How to turn your trials and tribulations into triumphant victories.

•How the most putrid of demonic spirits, including the spirit of death, cannot stand against God’s plan for your life.

•How to turn over addiction, labels, and self-destructive behavior to God and allow him to take the fragmented pieces to create a beautiful masterpiece.

•How to uncover the hidden things in your life and allow the Lord to help you bring down the Goliaths in your life.

•How to discover who you are in the Lord and walk in your new identity.

•See how resting in the Lord will allow you to experience his peace and walk in your God-given callings.

My prayer is that this book will help you learn the voice of God, listen to the voice of God, and move forward in what He has specifically designed for your life.

So, this is my prayer for you:

Dear Heavenly Father, I come to you on behalf of every reader that opens the following pages, asking that you open their eyes and ears to hear your voice to see what you have in store for them. Move them in ways they have not yet experienced by showing them how very special they are. I pray that you allow the following words to penetrate their hearts to allow them to have a more intimate walk with you. I ask that the very words you have inspired me to write be used as a tool to awaken the spirit person inside of each reader and that you receive the Glory for it. I ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.

CHAPTER 1

TO BE FOREVER CHANGED

FOR MOST OF US, there are circumstances that take place in life that are monumental in proportion. When these circumstances happen, they tend to shape who we are. I would like to share with you one of my moments.

When I was fourteen years old, a friend of mine from school, I’ll call her Jodi, was having a party at her house and asked if I could come. Of course, I was thrilled because she was one of the popular kids at school and I knew the entire cool crowd would be there.

I don’t know exactly how I talked my parents into letting me go because they were very strong Christians and were strict about letting us spend the night at places, but with their approval, I was packing my overnight bag. I was in complete disbelief that I had been invited to this party and tried to hurry out the door before my parents could change their minds.

I thought Jodi’s mom was the coolest mom around because not only did she allow Jodi to have parties, but she also provided all of us kids with alcohol. I just knew her mom understood us because she treated us like grown-ups instead of children. With that being said, she immediately earned my undeserving respect.

Jodi was one of the kids in school whose parents didn’t care what she did or whom she did it with. I was so jealous of her because she had so many friends, all the cool clothes, and the friendship of every popular kid in school. I’m sure her parents did this as a way of buying her affection.

They catered to her in all the wrong ways, but being a teenager, I wasn’t into solving the problems of the world, I just wanted to have fun. I just felt fortunate that she included me as part of the gang.

The party started out in the garage, which had been decorated with Christmas lights and old junky furniture. Beside the worn-out furniture was a stereo system that was blaring all the popular hard rock ‘80s music. The Christmas lights were strung throughout the rafters and looked as if they were just thrown up in midair with no regard to how they landed.

The cigarette smoke was so thick, and the music was so loud you could hardly hear yourself think. The couches were lined up along the back wall of the garage. Sitting on the floor beside the couches were several coolers that were filled with beer and wine coolers. I couldn’t believe it! Alcohol right there ready for us to drink! So that’s what I did; I began to drink.

Kids were drifting in and out of the garage and soon the party spilled out onto the lawn. The music and laughter of teenagers was everywhere. Eventually, every corner of the yard had a group of kids in it as the yard seemed to be swallowed up by teenagers. Gossip about the latest boyfriend/girlfriend matches was being exchanged while everyone fixated on having fun. No one seemed to care about tomorrow, or the next hour, for that matter. We were doing what kids do–we were living in the moment.

I wanted to take mental pictures so as not to forget anything. It was like being in a movie while everything moved in slow motion. I felt like I was spinning in slow circles trying to take everything in. I wanted to remember what people were saying, what they wore, how I felt with this beer slowly intoxicating me. I wanted to remember every detail. I would not have to hear about the details from this party from my friends like all the previous times. This time I would have my own memories and stories of what started out to be one of the greatest nights of my life.

It only got better when the boy I had a crush on, Elliot, walked in with his friends. I tried to make eye contact with him, but to no avail. He acted as if I was invisible. Feeling frustrated, I guzzled yet another drink so I could get the courage to go over and talk to him. I felt so nervous I just knew everyone could see my knees knocking as I started toward the garage.

Elliot and his friends found an available table and began playing a drinking game called quarters. I strolled over, pretending to have rock solid confidence but my quivering voice revealed something completely different. I looked straight at Elliot and asked if I could play. They all started laughing and goofing off. I tried to think of what I could say to save myself from this humiliation. At this point I wanted the room to suck me in.

I stood there trying to maintain my confidence, just waiting for someone to break the awkward silence. Someone finally spoke up and said I could play, but I only had one chance to bounce the quarter in. So, I grabbed the quarter, rolled my eyes and with my whatever attitude I flung the quarter down on the table. To my disbelief, my quarter found its way inside the glass. I snickered out loud like I knew what I was doing and secretly hoped that it would belittle the guys who had previously laughed at me. I told Elliot to take the shot. He looked at me and we locked eyes as he downed the drink I just gave him. I don’t know if it was the alcohol or my adrenaline, but my heart began racing so fast and beating so loud it was a little difficult to breathe. He actually locked eyes with me. Did this mean he liked me? I was on Cloud Nine thinking life could not possibly get any better than this!

This drinking game went on for a while and I soon realized that every boy sitting at the table was making me do the drinks. I knew I was either going to puke or fall out of my chair. So before either incident occurred, I excused myself and slowly stumbled away. I felt completely out of control and was afraid I was going to fall down as I made my way out of the garage.

At this point it was getting dark outside, so I began looking around for my friends and my twin sister, Lisa. I realized just about everyone had moved the party inside the house.

I started walking toward the house, but I couldn’t get there fast enough. It felt like it took me forever to walk only a few yards. My legs felt strange and weird, like there was a thousand pounds of lead in my shoes. I kept telling myself to just maintain focus on my friends through the window and keep walking. When I finally made my way up the porch steps and into the house, I saw food and beer cans everywhere! Empty potato chip bags had been thrown on the floor, candy wrappers spilled out of the kitchen trash can, a popcorn aroma came from the microwave, frozen pizzas were being cooked in the oven, and empty wine cooler bottles were on the kitchen counters. It looked like a bomb had gone off in there. But I did what everyone else was doing, I began to eat. This lasted until the food was gone.

Around midnight, the boys were told to leave. The co-ed part of the evening was coming to an end. So, all the girls stood on the porch and said good-bye to the boys we liked. Three of us girls received a kiss that night. There was no way life could ever get any better than this. I was exploding inside thinking; He really does like me! It’s amazing how a pimply faced geeky boy could make me feel this alive!

Within an hour, all of us girls ended up on the living room floor in our pajamas watching scary movies and licking the crumbs out of the bottom of the last surviving potato chip bag. We were talking about how we all made a fool of ourselves laughing like typical fourteen-year-old girls as we reminisced about the evening. Every scenario had been replayed about four million times from every perspective...we just didn’t want the night to end. We wanted to stay in the moment of having fun and being carefree. But one by one we were all being defeated by the alcohol and the late hour as we all began to pass out into a drunken, dead sleep.

A REAL LIVE BOOGEYMAN…

Sleeping like I had never slept before, I gradually came to or thought I was having a really bizarre dream. I was being picked up and carried through the house by my friend’s eighteen-year-old brother, Scott. What was happening to me? I was so out of it from being drunk that I blacked out. When I became coherent again, I opened my eyes to a dark blurry vision and felt myself being carried through the kitchen toward the basement door. I thought, Why is he carrying me downstairs? There is nothing down there but...his bedroom! I remember feeling so extremely tired and trying so hard to focus, but I just couldn’t keep my eyes open, and I could not keep myself from blacking out again.

I woke up again to the smell of a cold musty basement. I was in a bed with Scott on top of me. The strong smell of cheap cologne mixed with sweat almost took my breath away. I was trying to look around and force myself to stay awake and to make sense of what was going on, but I couldn’t find the strength to move. My body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. As I tried to maneuver around, I tried to lift my head, but his fingers were intertwined in my hair, locking my head in place. A surge of panic rose up in me! This could not be happening!!!

I tried to look around to get my bearings but what I saw was shocking! I caught glimpses of myself, and I was naked! What in the world was going on? I was in complete disbelief as to what was happening. A flood of emotions and thoughts began racing through my mind. It’s not supposed to happen like this. This is so wrong.

I knew I needed to