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    Not Today, Satan (Maybe Tomorrow)
    Not Today, Satan (Maybe Tomorrow)
    Not Today, Satan (Maybe Tomorrow)
    Ebook107 pages13 minutes

    Not Today, Satan (Maybe Tomorrow)

    By Andrew Shaffer

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    About this ebook

    A new collection of laugh-out-loud poems from the international bestselling author of Look Mom I’m a Poet (and So is My Cat).

    Tired of Instagram poems about whiskey and self-love? Not Today, Satan (Maybe Tomorrow) is the hilarious antidote you didn’t know you needed, complete with crap drawings that make Rupi Kaur’s look like they belong in the Louvre.

    From poignant odes to snack cakes (“The Last Temptation of Little Debbie”) to tough love for friends (“You are Not a Mermaid”), Shaffer’s biting satire will have you questioning why you ever wasted time reading lesser verse jockeys.

    LanguageEnglish
    Publisher8th Circle Press
    Release dateJan 31, 2024
    ISBN9798224598236
    Not Today, Satan (Maybe Tomorrow)
    Author

    Andrew Shaffer

    Andrew Shaffer is the author of Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love and, under the pen name Fanny Merkin, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey. His writing has appeared in such diverse publications as Mental Floss and Maxim. An Iowa native, Shaffer lives in Lexington, Kentucky, a magical land of horses and bourbon.

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      Book preview

      Not Today, Satan (Maybe Tomorrow) - Andrew Shaffer

      Not Today, Satan (Maybe Tomorrow?)

      praise for shaffer’s books

      Like a terrible accident scene that I felt ashamed for staring at […] except the book was funny and accident scenes aren’t.

      A Bookish Butterfly

      Andrew Shaffer is a mood.

      Bookstagram of Mine

      This book made me infertile. It was either this book or the vasectomy I had around the same time I was reading it.

      Bob Lingle, Good Neighbor Bookstore

      I’m not a laugh out loud kind of person, but Andrew Shaffer had me giggling at work while trying to pretend I was actually working.

      Books Anxiety

      You’re not funny and if I ever met you I would punch you in the face.

      Amazon Customer

      For everyone who told me there was no money in poetry…

      you were right.

      All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.

      — Oscar Wilde

      contents

      After the Break-up

      He was a Precious Metal⁠—

      Her Madness

      Can We Please Stop Using the Word Crazy?

      The Last Temptation of Little Debbie

      In the Twilight

      All for You, My Love

      The Six Saddest Words in the English Language

      Live Free or Die

      The Only Thing

      Magic

      Travel Advice

      Only God Can

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