Seek Peace. Give Service. Be Happy

PROLOGUE

I hope that you will enjoy reading this collection of recollections. I have been pondering these stories for a long time, some of them for more than 20 years.

I’d like to share credit for this compilation with friends and family members who, in the process, have taught me many things about writing and organizing a memoir. Among them are Tim Buckley and Paul Patton, who have been valuable in terms of story selection and editing. About the look and feel of the book, the design, and getting it to publication, added thanks goes to Tim Gilman.

My son Michael and daughter Amy have been remarkably encouraging and helpful with this memoir - reading, editing, and proofreading the stories, many of them multiple times. But their impact began a long while before I started writing. It was they, decades ago, who encouraged me to work less, travel less, and to do more volunteering. Many of these stories would not have been possible without their kind coaxing and, more recently, their advice.

Amy, at age six or seven, started working on me to quit smoking. Now in her middle years - a mom, author, business owner, and a licensed clinical social worker, Amy is still providing me valuable counsel on many things.

Michael, also in midlife, is a dad, a prestigious academy administrator and educator, who has earned accolades in this country and abroad for his vision of excellence and his passion for helping young people find their bright path in the world.

You’ll read in these pages a bit of my own vision and passions, many of which revolved around recognizing talent in other people and then giving them tools with which to be more successful, whether that be at developing markets, inspiring sales staffs, or helping nonprofit organizations to raise money, pass legislation, or better serve the communities they represent.

All the people in these stories have been wonderful for me to know, folks with great energy and committed values. They have, in turn, helped me stay positive, focused, and committed to values as well.

A wise man once told me, If you don’t tell the important stories of your life, they will die before you do. I’m happy to have taken his advice.

INTRODUCTION

What is a memoir?

According to the Google dictionary, a memoir is a historical account or biography written from personal knowledge. Synonyms include: accounts, histories, records, stories, and reports of people who have contributed to one’s life.

Some consider memoirs a chance to enhance a life story without the fact checkers hovering. Others consider memoirs to be lightly embellished accounts, written without malice but fashioned to appear more interesting.

Seek Peace, Give Service, Be Happy is a nonfiction book, colored only by my memories of what really happened along the roads of life. This is my effort to share a story of a life well-lived, of lessons learned, and of lessons shared as I attempt to follow a mantra: seek peace, give service, be happy.

This is not a chronological biography. Rather, it is a series of articles offered to share stories and honor inspirational people who have contributed to my life. Among the articles are life memories, personal letters, essays, answers to interesting questions, and profiles. All of them are offered as ideas and guidance to inspire and help people to Seek Peace, Give Service, and Be Happy.

This letter from April 2, 2020, is an example of how I tried to connect old stories to my mantra. At the time, Covid was raging, and I was in Salem with Caren Ann.

Dear Sister Bernice

I wish I could handwrite this letter, but that skill has passed me by since learning in the third grade with Sister Consolata at St. Bernard’s School.

I hope that my feelings and emotions come through the keyboard.

The concern with Coronavirus is no April Fools joke. My prayers and best wishes are with you as I think of you and others in my circle of friends.

Without this tumult affecting every aspect of life, Caren and I would be in Albuquerque this week to attend and celebrate the Italian Film Festival, and visit friends there. Alas, no trip, no festival, no visiting. Hunkering down in Salem, Oregon, trying to make wise decisions.

With Caren’s daughter and son-in-law being nurses, and my son-in-law having been director of health in a nearby county, we have received plenty of cautionary lectures on how people our ages should behave. I might have been a little cavalier about the whole thing, but no longer.

Can you believe, or even imagine, the dispensation of Holy Mass, let alone Holy Week and Easter Mass not being available? I am sure God understands, and the Holy Spirit is providing counsel to those in the church calling the shots.

One of the ways that I am using my time during this stay put period is working on a book. Once I passed age 80, I started to think seriously about writing a memoir. At first, I found it too self-serving and conceited.

I have served on a lot of boards over the years -- Habitat for Humanity, Futures for Children, the Italian Film Festival (a benefit for The UNM Childrens’ Hospital), the New Mexico Coalition to Repeal the Death Penalty, and Oregonians for Alternatives to the Death Penalty.

While my book will include some chapters about my family and stories of people who influenced me, I hope it shows more humility than a straightforward memoir.

You are someone I would like to include in the profiles of the book, if only briefly.

I distinctly remember the first day we met, at the front door of Our Lady of the Garage (early name for Prince of Peace.) You were selling raffle tickets to win a new car from Casey Luna’s Ford dealership. That must have been in the mid-to-late 80’s. You were powerfully successful at selling.

Since that first encounter, the Holy Spirit always seemed to tip you off when I had some cash in my pocket to support whatever you were selling. I loved being a friend of someone so close to the Holy Spirit.

For the book, I have a couple of pieces about Father Mondragon. His sermon on forgiveness has guided me ever since I first heard it. All my correspondence now ends with a salutation - Peace. That comes from him, wishing us peace of mind.

Although we will view Easter Mass on television, may all its blessing reach out to you just as fully.

Peace,

PS: The change of address card is evidence that it was time for me to get into a place all on one floor, and for us to downsize.

Son of a Butcher

I am a son of a butcher. My dad owned a little butcher shop and neighborhood grocery store. When I was in second grade, I had my first job working in the store. My dad was a very hard-working guy; he made sure the family was well fed, had the essentials we needed, and felt safe. He worked in the store six days a week and, on Sundays, he did bookwork and painted signs for the next week’s specials: for eggs, or roasting chickens, or bologna for 39 cents a pound.

As children, my siblings and I did not learn to fish, hunt, camp out, or have a family vacation each year. We did, however, learn how to work.

As a college graduate, a husband and father, my youthful lessons became a part of me. My job, my focus, my purpose, and my passion, was to provide for my family.

That focus on hard work served me and my family well during 40-plus years spent in sales, marketing, and management in the commercial television industry. At some point in my early 60’s, it came to me that I needed to get beyond defining myself merely as hard working and smart. Instead of working solely for personal and my family’s interests, I began to focus on making the rest of the world a better place.

That led me into serial community service – dedicated and creative work, not for money but rather to serve others: Habitat for Humanity, Futures for Children, the University of New Mexico Children’s Hospital, the New Mexico Italian Film Festival, and then the Dismas House.

The Dismas House, a transition house for formerly incarcerated men and women, then led me to volunteer for the New Mexico Coalition to Repeal the Death Penalty—my path to leadership in mission-driven organizations.

A move to Oregon connected me to Oregonians for Alternatives to the Death Penalty, where I continued to labor happily, full time, to make a difference. My most recent endeavors have been raising money to provide temporary shelters for the homeless of Salem, and creating a series of fundraiser dances at Salem’s Riverfront Park.

Community service organizations are populated by caring, loving, wonderful people. But, they’re not necessarily folks with a background in marketing. Success in any non-profit volunteer organization depends on understanding the marketing process. Like selling beer, shoes, cars, or fashion, it is all about marketing.

From one non-profit to the next during my trek through community service, I would hear things like, We can’t do that, or, We never did that before, or, How could we do that without a budget? Many of these organizations were not doing what they needed to do to thrive. They were frozen in history and fear. I would always return to my roots in hard work and entrepreneurship. The starting line was always: Let’s try it. We can’t fall off the floor.

Thanks to my foundation and formation as the son of a butcher, I always enjoyed hard work. Whether working to create success for corporations that employed me, working to provide for my family, or working for the common good, I have found fulfillment, enrichment, and fun.

The Best Job I Ever Had

I have had lots of jobs, from low-paying ones as a youngster, to my volunteer jobs as an adult and senior citizen.

Only a few of those jobs were lousy, for me and the employer. Notable among this small group of losers was the first real job I secured right out of college. I was hired in Pittsburgh as a credit investigator for Dunn & Bradstreet. I had an assigned territory in southwestern Pennsylvania, West Virginia, and southeast Ohio.

The job was to travel that territory, update previous credit reports and write reports for new businesses. The worst aspect was that I had to ask people how much money they were making. In my upbringing, that type of personal information was kept private. I quit before the first year was up.

Then I went to work for my brother as a manufacturers’ rep in architectural sales, representing two product lines, trying to get architects to spec curtain walls and church pews. Sadly, I did not even know how to read specs or blueprints. I quit after a year, once again a failure. Or so I thought at the time.

One of my more enjoyable early jobs was as a sales rep with the Colgate Palmolive Company. I was assigned to the Pittsburgh territory and part of the enjoyment was my trainer/managers - Tazwell Hobgood and Jim Slaney. My next regional manager was Jim Sweeney, first in the Syracuse area and then in Washington DC. At Colgate Palmolive, I really learned how to sell.

I left Colgate Palmolive to go to law school at Duquesne University. I was taking night classes and worked days for Pittsburgh Beer, loading and unloading trucks in their warehouse.