Nopalito, Texas: Stories
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About this ebook
In this stunning debut story collection, everyone's got the blues but nobody is willing to sing it. Evelyn Smith, Candace Lambert, and Dorene Wahrmund chafe against rigid small-town expectations. Others in hardscrabble Nopalito find themselves fenced in--an aging gay liquor store owner estranged among his neighbors, a mother and son bound by mutual resentment, two neighboring farm boys attracted to each other. Their stories are driven by desperation, rarely spoken, that troubles the community's inhabitants as it nudges them toward connection, toward moments of hope. Meischen draws these characters with a tenderness that belies the hardness of their lives.
David Meischen
David Meischen is also the author of the award-winning poetry collection Anyone's Son. He is the cofounder and coeditor of Dos Gatos Press.
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Nopalito, Texas - David Meischen
Nothing Happened Here
Evelyn Smith, 1955–1975
On the drive to the Matthews place, Opal smoked a cigarette. Evelyn sat by the passenger door and stared. Grady was in the car—he would’ve been four that summer before Evelyn started first grade—but her memory preserves no image of her little brother in the back seat. Just Opal Matthews in profile at the steering wheel, her short-cropped hair shining like blackbird feathers. Opal was sixteen. Her voice came up out of her throat husky as Tallulah Bankhead, her cigarette, lipstick-stained, unfurling mentholated smoke out the open window.
Rain is coming.
Thunderheads gathered where Opal pointed to the far horizon. She gunned the engine. Opal had sass.
That was the word Evelyn’s mother used for any kind of gumption she didn’t like. Got any sass in you,
she had said just minutes ago, best get spent of it at the Matthews place.
Pausing, her eyebrow brush stilled before an arched brow, she locked eyes with Evelyn in the mirror.
In Evelyn’s memory her mother was the only one left at home. Her father must’ve gone off someplace with Ralph, nearing ten and acting like a bantam rooster. Thick as thieves, Ralph and Daddy—her mother’s words again.
Where was she going, all brushed and perfumed?
I’ll pack the two of you off. Opal can run the wickedness out of you.
The Matthews family had lived in the house on the rise beyond the creek for a year or so. Their arrival was clear in Evelyn’s memory—a father and three sons who worked cattle for the Doyle ranch and a daughter, the youngest, who took the school bus weekdays and ran the household every day. There was no mother in the picture; given all the whispering, Evelyn knew she wasn’t dead.
It was a two-story clapboard house—on the first floor boots and clutter, on the second ashtrays and unmade beds. The disarray would have driven her mother crazy, but the Matthews house delighted Evelyn—its smell of smoke and saddle leather, the jumble of dishes in the kitchen, sticky whiskey glasses unwashed along the drainboard. Opal shooed them into the living room, then set about clearing the mess so she could make lunch.
They discovered gold on the coffee table—a magazine unlike anything Evelyn had seen, her brother rapt on the couch beside her. She couldn’t read, but she didn’t need words. Swamp water glistened from the magazine’s shiny cover, a frame of jungle growth draped in leafy green. A woman, all curves, stood in the water with a snake wrapped around her. Evelyn fell under the spell of the snake, the sheer abundance of it, coiled around the woman’s body from hips to shoulders, mouth gaping and fangs agleam. The woman’s eyes were wide, her mouth open as if inhaling a scream, lips red as crayons, fingernails too, the fingers of one hand draped in the V between her breasts, the pale, swollen flesh of them beneath a tattered neckline. Behind her in the trees, a darkly handsome man, muscled and confident, brandished a bladed weapon. It would be years before Evelyn encountered the word machete or discovered a stash of men’s adventure magazines squirreled away in Ralph’s closet, but at six she knew that the man would rescue the woman before the snake could work its evil. She looked and looked at the woman, the snake, the man behind them. Beside her, Grady did not stir. But she could feel him there, his heart beating.
The pages beneath held other images of women threatened and men hovering, though nothing like the glossy color cover. The woman there, the snake—they held her captive as the pages turned. It was like swinging too high, the way she felt inside, the moment of floating when she could no longer feel the anchor of weight and chains—breath suspended, horizon a distant shimmer. A deep pulse of pleasure on the downward plunge.
Opal snatched the magazine.
Cursing the Matthews men, their taste in reading, she sent Evelyn and Grady upstairs. They were playing onesies on the floor at the head of the staircase when the smell of rain arrived and the light at the window turned gray. Evelyn loved this game—metal spikes skittering across hardwood and the little ball bouncing, bouncing, as the jacks she scooped up prickled in her palm. She hardly noticed when footsteps came thumping up the stairs.
It was Opal, breathless with running, the look of a new game, a new dare, in the flush of her cheeks. Robbers are coming! You’ve got to hide!
She swept them into her bedroom and behind a small couch in the corner. It was a loveseat, though Evelyn didn’t know about loveseats yet. Whispering of danger, Opal swore them to silence. Not a peep out of you.
Then she was gone, her footsteps rapid on the stairs. It was quiet until the rain came, wrapping the afternoon in patter and rumble.
Shhh. A whisper. It’s okay. The words seemed to come from inside her—and Grady dissolving, a shadowy presence, his head in her lap while she listened to silence beneath the rain.
When she felt that she would burst with waiting, voices came from downstairs—Opal’s, higher than usual, and a man’s gruff bluntness—quarreling, it seemed to Evelyn, like the sound her parents made when they closed the bedroom door to have it out. She heard the flat, hard sound of a slap, and a voice cried out—Opal’s, Evelyn was certain—then the same voice in a warble, like someone being shaken. Evelyn went tingly all over. But Opal could take care of herself; she would send the robber away.
The voices stopped. The rain slowed. And Evelyn had to know.
The game she played with herself on the stairs was like fooling Momma while she napped, making herself so light that oak floorboards did not betray her. She made it to the bottom of the stairs, the house so still except for an odd shuffling sound coming from the kitchen and someone—Opal, maybe—trying to catch her breath. Evelyn made her way to the doorway and peeked around. On the kitchen table, in a jumble of limbs, a man’s bare butt moved back and forth in a motion Evelyn had not seen before. He was wearing boots with dried cow dung stuck between heel and sole. His jeans were down around his thighs. He had on a chambray work shirt, and the breathing she’d heard was coming out of him. He was hugging Opal to the table, her skirt fanned out beneath her and up over her chest, her bare knees at cockeyed angles on either side of the naked flesh that moved against her. Evelyn couldn’t see the man’s face; he’d tucked his head into Opal’s hair on the other side. Beside his tawny curls, Opal’s eyes were wide, one eye puffed and smudgy, mouth open, lips like a bruise.
Rain trembled at the windows, mesquite trees drooping while Evelyn stood there and spied, unable to move, unable not to look. She might have frozen, like that woman in the Bible God turned to salt for looking where she oughtn’t. But then Opal turned her head and looked right at Evelyn. She fixed Evelyn in her gaze and, with a movement of her eyes, signaled for her to get upstairs. Evelyn backed away, the motion of retreat lodged in her muscle memory. Then she was behind the loveseat again, a finger at her lips to keep what she had seen inside herself.
Afterward, Opal sat at her dresser as if nothing had happened. At the window, the eaves dripped. Grady must’ve gone outside to splash where the rain had puddled. In the mirror, Opal’s puffy eye was darkening. She brushed her hair into place and went to work on her makeup. The eye seemed not to bother her.
When she’d finished, she sat Evelyn at the mirror and made her up with lipstick and powder and rouge, with spit curls at either cheek. Evelyn was wearing a short-sleeved peasant blouse. Her mother had sewed several such garments, with elastic at neckline and sleeves. They were easy to sew. Evelyn could run with her brothers and look like the daughter her mother insisted she be. This afternoon, when Opal had finished with the makeup, she put her hands at either side of Evelyn’s neckline and tugged the blouse down off her shoulders. Evelyn stared at herself in the mirror and wondered what a snake would feel like against her skin. She caught Opal’s eye in the mirror.
Ooh, don’t you look like a hussy. What would your momma think?
Evelyn examined herself in the mirror. Hussy was another of her mother’s words.
What about that nasty magazine I found you looking at?
You won’t tell?
Maybe I’ll show it to her.
Evelyn was too frightened to plead. She simply looked at Opal and hoped. Finally, Opal got down on one knee, as if genuflecting, and fixed Evelyn with her one good eye. When she spoke, her voice came out lower than ever, the words husky with threat.
Nothing happened here this afternoon. A game is all.
Opal paused. The eaves dripped. I didn’t catch you looking at that trash.
Evelyn looked down, but Opal gripped her harder at the shoulder. She looked up again. You didn’t see a thing downstairs. You’ll keep your mouth shut to your brother.
Evelyn swore to her part in the promise—thank God Grady’d gone outside to play—and Opal was back to herself again.
I got my black eye in the barn this afternoon.
Her voice was blunt as truth. I was horse-kicked, little miss. Jumped back in the nick of time. I am lucky to be alive.
Late that summer, the Matthews family moved away, gone without a trace before Evelyn’s first day of school. Vernon Doyle hired three boys at the high school to ride herd for him, and the old house stood empty.
The following spring, Evelyn’s mother whipped her with a hairbrush. She’d hatched a plan for mother-daughter Easter dresses—a prissy pattern, all frills and ruffles. When she gushed about puffed sleeves and dotted Swiss, Evelyn stomped her foot and said no. For a moment, she was light as air, dizzy with elation the word released in her. Until she was yanked into her parents’ bedroom and her mother got hold of the brush. The spanking was like fever. Evelyn felt heavy with the shame of it while on the wall beside her mother’s dresser a witness looked on. The Virgin Mary hovered there, sheathed in cool blue, serene calm in the drape of her clothing, the welcoming gesture of her open palms, the composure of an almost smiling mouth. Her eyes, their quiet reassurance. Even the Virgin’s foot, poised to crush the head of the serpent, betrayed no hint of panic, no doubt about the outcome. Beneath the seashell roar of disgrace ringing in Evelyn’s ears, she heard a whisper—Be still—an offering from her silent herald.
This was to be the first of three whippings with the hairbrush—and years between them—but always there was the threat. As childhood and adolescence passed, Evelyn had little time for idle thinking. Her every move was tactical, calculated to keep her mother from flaring up, to keep her father and brothers from discovering the rift between mother and daughter. The robber’s game with Opal Matthews was just another of her secrets. She didn’t dare mention it to Grady. He said nothing to her.
Grady giggled at the supper table whenever tension threatened. He laughed away their mother’s stormy moods. He played dolls with Evelyn, chattering nonstop while they burped and pampered her collection. His favorites were a wedding set—a bride and her groom, two bridesmaids—a gift to Evelyn from her father’s only brother, who shrugged off what folks might think about a bachelor farmer hooking tablecloths for his sister, his sister-in-law, himself. It was Grady who wanted the wedding party, who didn’t mind the subterfuge it took to get them. He suggested the gift set for Evelyn, then made sure it would happen by teasing Uncle Aaron, saying his fingers weren’t graceful enough for such delicate work. Starched and perfect, the wedding figures stood behind glass in the dining-room hutch Evelyn’s mother was so proud of. On occasion, Grady worked his charm on Momma. She would place the wedding dolls on the dining table and let them orchestrate an afternoon-long ceremony.
Grady was the happy one—always sprinting ahead to the next adventure, ever swinging high, pushing higher, leaping free at the top of the arc, his voice like scissortails in a noon sky. While Evelyn stood anchored, watching. Her little brother seemed immune to the dampers that kept her quiet, the impatience that kept Ralph on a short fuse.
In the spring of 1960, as fifth grade drew toward a close, Evelyn’s father invited the Wahrmund family for a Saturday feed. Her mother wasn’t happy—mousey was her word for Dorene Wahrmund—but when Ralph protested, her displeasure melted away. Ralph was fourteen, and from the moment his voice had dropped, he’d wanted to be off alone with his best friend Jimmy Don, eldest of the Wahrmund brothers. Jimmy Don was fifteen. Evelyn’s mother claimed there was nothing wrong with him a good slap wouldn’t cure. You’re not too good for the rest of us,
she told Ralph. And that was that.
When the Wahrmunds arrived, Evelyn’s father was at the barbecue pit, set up out back among a cluster of mesquites. He’d built a fire and tended it, spread coals along the bottom of the pit, split chickens and mopped them with a special sauce—butter, vinegar, lemon, garlic, pepper—as he arranged them above the smoky heat. Robert Wahrmund joined him while the women went inside.
Ralph and Jimmy Don grabbed a bat and started knocking flies. They were good at showing off—pitcher putting a perfect ball across the plate, batter connecting every time, the ball arcing up and up, all but disappearing in the bright blue, suspended for a moment there, as if with an invisible parachute.
Max, second of the Wahrmund brothers, elbowed his way in, though it was clear to Evelyn the older boys were never going to let Max be one of them. She stood along the edges, knowing that when Ralph and Jimmy Don tired of showing off, they’d let her have a turn at bat.
Michael, Evelyn’s age, third and last of the Wahrmund brothers, trotted to the edge of the outer yard, assigned by Jimmy Don to retrieve the baseball wherever it might land. Michael would have opted out, Evelyn suspected, except that otherwise Jimmy Don would needle him until he did what was expected anyway.
Grady laughed them off. Nine now—and immune to the allure of team sports—he stood beside Evelyn, openly mocking the older boys.
They didn’t have long on the sidelines before their mother sent word with Mrs. Wahrmund and Evelyn had to go inside. Grady went along. He loved being in the kitchen whenever women gathered there.
Evelyn had a knack with seasoning; she was put to work assembling potato salad. Mrs. Wahrmund peeled and chopped eggs for her. Simple shirt-waist dress and flats, thick straight shimmering black hair in a blunt cut—Dorene Wahrmund was nothing like Evelyn’s mother, with her lemony blonde do, her color-drenched sundress and heels. Evelyn had the sense not to say so, but she much preferred their neighbor’s simplicity, her plainness. Of the women she knew, though, the one Evelyn most envied was Mrs. Wahrumnd’s mother, Norma Pfeiler, who owned the café and bakery on Main Street. A widow, Mrs. Pfeiler had her own house, her own life. Evelyn wanted to be just like her when she got old. She didn’t say that to Momma either.
When everything in the kitchen was ready, Evelyn was sent to summon the others. She headed for the boys first; they could wrap up their game while her father and Mr. Wahrmund carried barbecue to the house. Max was at bat, Ralph winding up for a pitch, Jimmy Don and Michael positioned to catch or retrieve whatever their brother hit. Everything started to unravel when Max gave a shout and dropped the bat. He walked toward Ralph, pointing.
Look!
he called out. Look! He’s gonna do it!
In the field beyond, separated from them by a single strand of electric fence, her father’s newly purchased Hereford bull mounted the heifer Evelyn had named Violet. When the bull’s rump started jerking back and forth, Max erupted.
Atta boy!
he shouted. Stick it to her!
Evelyn had slowed, but she hadn’t stopped walking. She found herself at Max’s side, watching, transfixed, as Violet hunched into herself, her eyes wide and rolling. The bull made a final spasm against her and dismounted.
"What were they doing?" she asked.
You’re a farm girl,
said Jimmy Don, approaching where Evelyn stood with Max and Ralph. Animals been doing the nasty all around you. You telling me you haven’t seen it?
Momma keeps her indoors a lot,
Ralph said. Wants to make a lady out of her.
You really want to know what they were up to?
Jimmy Don said. Making babies.
Yeah,
Max put in. How do you think you got here?
Evelyn spent a lifetime pondering the way a mind works, making you see the one thing you would rather not. As Max got to the end of his question, she had a vision—bright as sheet lightning—of her mother bent over the supper table with her bottom exposed, naked from the waist down except for the heels she was wearing today, the skirt of her sundress flounced up over her back. And behind her—why not at least her father?—Mr. Wahrmund wearing not a stitch, his butt muscles jerking like the Hereford bull.
And then flashes of memory: a skirt flared beneath pale thighs, dirty boots on a kitchen table, ragged breathing, a bruised and swelling eye. It wasn’t the answer she wanted, but she knew in her bones that what Jimmy Don had said was true. This was how babies came into the world, how she’d arrived in her family’s embrace. She wondered if Opal Matthews had a child. A boy, she thought, four years old by now.
The next day was Sunday—church and a midday meal at Uncle Aaron’s house. That afternoon, back home, while Grady slouched on her bed, daydreaming aloud, Evelyn broke in.
I’m not ever getting married.
But you have to,
Grady said. I’m designing your dress.
At school, Evelyn was rewarded for the habit of silence, of focused attention. And at home—though her mother stressed clothing, carriage, chatter, popularity—any evidence of discipline had currency. Evelyn was left alone while she worked at her assignments. Somewhere in junior high—she could never place the season or even the year—the band director took her aside and told her she played flute well enough that he was moving her into Nopalito’s tiny high school band.
Because she’d learned so well the art of being invisible, the older girls put no rein on their gossip when she drifted near. She heard bits and pieces, never the shape, even, of a coherent story. One day as she stood watching, the girls leaned inward, as if in a huddle, and she heard a single inscrutable pronouncement—I heard it was rape
—followed by a tangle of whispers. Evelyn went to a dictionary in the library and turned to the word. Carnal knowledge of a woman, the definition began. Like fragments from a gospel reading, strangely disconnected from sense, these words were of little use. The closing phrase teased at her, though—without her consent. The notion of force lodged in her mind, and when she went back to the dictionary for carnal, she was visited by an image of flesh, a hairy butt rutting against Opal Matthews’s pale thighs. The black eye cinched it. He forced her, she thought.
When Evelyn was fourteen, she found herself one evening on a patch of gravel beneath the lights at Otto Keene’s. Ralph was out of high school and three months gone, but the remnants of his crowd were still on hand, flirting, eating burgers, bootlegging liquor from car to car. Evelyn was watching from the edges of the fray when a voice roused her. She’d heard the legend of Clayton Moore, the town’s notorious heartbreaker, a decade out of high school by now and rarely spied in town after the sun went down. She’d seen his photograph in old yearbooks—the sideburns, the grin. She’d not had the pleasure in person, but when Clayton pulled onto the gravel in his hopped-up old Ford, she recognized him instantly.
He formed the center of a group, the voices around him merging like rain. Suddenly, his voice rose up. She didn’t hear words but tone and timbre. In the instant, she knew it was the voice she’d heard that afternoon, the voice downstairs with Opal Matthews. Then Clayton turned and looked in her direction. She felt the burn of his eyes on her. Well, look who’s here. I think it’s Miss Bopeep.
Evelyn turned and walked to the car she’d arrived in. She was surprised her knees didn’t buckle. Hearing Clayton’s voice, feeling his eyes on her, she’d felt herself swing wildly out of control—a surging sensation that wed pleasure and panic.
In May of 1967, a month short of her eighteenth birthday, Evelyn finished high school. At summer’s end, she moved into her first college dorm in Corpus Christi, forty-some miles east of the farm that had circumscribed her life so far—but far enough to spark feelings of freedom, release.
On September 22, shortly before midnight, as she stood at her window looking out over a campus still soaked from Hurricane Beulah, a knock came at her door. She was called to the phone, and the bits of happiness she’d collected over the years were taken from her.
At home after the winds quieted, Grady had gone out to look at the floodwaters along Agua Dulce Creek. He was not to be seen again—no body found, no gravestone carved for her brother. In the days, the years, that followed, Evelyn’s mother could not bear to hear Grady’s name spoken. Her father, sad-eyed and sagging, took refuge in silence. Ralph had come home to help with the searching, but when hope waned there, he went back to west Texas and the roughneck life. He returned only under duress.
As best she could, Evelyn made a life for herself out of the pieces left her—scraps of kinship, secrets she and Grady had sheltered. She traced the meandering line of Agua Dulce Creek from the family farm to the Cayo del Mazón, then to Baffin Bay and the salty waters of the Gulf beyond. She invented another life for Grady, picturing him whole and breathing on the far side of the flood that had swept him away. Year after year on his birthday, she drove to a seafood house on Baffin Bay. She ordered fried shrimp because her brother had loved them. Weather permitting, she sat at an umbrellaed table on the deck, sometimes all afternoon, the bay lapping at the piers beneath her feet while her clothes, her hair, wilted in the damp salt air. Overhead, the gulls, calling, calling.
Grady receded—time did that—memory offering up fragments when Evelyn least expected. Over lunch in a downtown cafeteria, someone in the next booth rattled a cup inside its saucer, and she saw Grady at three, holding one of her tiny cups at a tea party the two of them had set up on the front porch. Once, in an airport terminal, after hours of delay, she searched out an empty corner and, sitting, leaned against the wall to rest. She dozed into a shadowy place. Grady was there, napping too, his head on her lap.
Some mornings she woke knowing she’d dreamed of Grady, a secret he