The Happy Human Playbook: A Practical Guide to Healing Body, Mind and Emotions With Joy and Pleasure, 2nd Edition

Praise for the book

Hall offers a sprightly self-help guide that will entertain as it teaches, aimed at helping improve well-being through the art of play and pleasure. The book references the scientific alongside the imaginative, pairing the two nicely into one interesting text. Creative and playful prose dots the pages of this guide, perfectly in sync with the book’s theme. Hall uses imaginative metaphors to bring her suggestions to life. Hall’s willingness to address topics that many books shy away from is refreshing, and she offers readers functional advice that comes with a sparky edge. The hands-on activities are useful and highlight the book’s main concepts, and Hall is careful to leave space for each reader to customize her advice.

-Publishers Weekly, Booklife Prize

Fascinating, informative, exceptionally well written, organized and presented, The Happy Human Playbook: A Practical Guide to Healing Body, Mind and Emotions With Joy and Pleasure will hold a particular appeal to readers with an interest in adult human sexuality and sexual well-being. While highly recommended for community and academic library Self-Help/Self-Improvement collections for it message that healthy, simple, physical pleasures can be mentally and emotionally transformative, it should be noted for personal reading lists that The Happy Human Playbook is also available in a digital book format (Kindle, $7.99).

-Midwest Book Review

"The Happy Human Playbook: A Practical Guide to Healing Body, Mind and Emotions With Joy and Pleasure by Antonia Hall is an amazing self-help guide to unplug and give yourself breathing space to experience full body and mind peacefulness. Antonia Hall’s writing has a deeply personal tone that speaks to you, and you can think of her as an authentic life coach that guides you on the path of realistically improving your circumstances and trying to make the best version of who you are. At the same time, the information contained herein is evergreen and will always remain relevant. True to its title, The Happy Human Playbook is a must-read if you want to zero in on the areas of your wellness and learn how to off-load for a happier life."

-Readers’ Favorite

"The Happy Human Playbook: A Practical Guide to Healing Body, Mind and Emotions with Joy and Pleasure is a playbook for finding real pleasure in your body, your surroundings and--semi-radically these days-- actually enjoying your own life. The guidebook is filled with deep wisdom, a sense of fun and lots of inviting exercises--all grounded in a real sense of what makes life truly worth living. Reading Antonia Hall’s soothing and encouraging words is like a balm for the soul (and body too--see also: the chapter on great sex toys!) and a clear path to occupying your own body and life."

-Jill Hamilton, journalist for Cosmopolitan and Oprah Magazine

"If you want to live, like really live - a rich, sensuous, abundant life - this book is for you. Hall shows readers how to show up, be present, and connect the dots between heart and mind awareness to achieve a play and pleasure filled life. The Happy Human Playbook teaches kindness and self-compassion through a series of simple mindful practices, enabling readers to experience all the beauty their body and its existence in this world has to offer. You’ll feel alive, energized, and want to dance after reading Hall’s joyful guide to being human."

-Ryn Pfeuffer, journalist and author of 101 Ways to Rock Online Dating.

It can be hard to believe in magic when you wake up every day in pain, thanks to chronic illness. Thankfully, Antonia Hall penned a book that reminds us that we’re not alone, and perceived weaknesses can be our greatest strengths. This is a must-read for anyone in need of rituals and witchcraft to remind them of their power, as, after all, the most important ingredient in any spell is yourself.

- Sophie Saint Thomas, author of Sex Witch: Magickal Spells for Love, Lust, and Self-Protection and Finding Your Higher Self.

Acknowledgements

This book could not exist without all of the Neuroscientists, Psychologists, and various Pleasure Pioneers who bravely paved the way for this work. Thank you to the Julia who provided the encouragement I needed to find my way to this book’s completion. Endless gratitude to the Julia who always knows how to make my writings sing the right notes; you are such a gift. To Cathy and Beth for loving support and the best comic relief. In loving memory of Frank.

Contents

Introduction

Playbook Philosophy

How This Playbook Works

Playbook Truths

Stressed Vs Satisfied Test

My Relationship With This Material

Chapter One: Feet - Our Connection to the Material World

Creating a Personal Playground

Tuning In for Optimal Functioning

Admiring Natural Beauty

Grounding and Earthing

Letting Your Inner Child Pick a Pleasure

Chapter Two: Legs - How We Carry Ourselves

Choosing a Compost Pile

Returning to Who You Really Are

Shedding Body Shame

Lowering Energy: Finding Comfort with Stillness

Raising and Resonating Energy - Making Your Playbook Soundtracks

Dancing Your Way Through the World

Chapter Three: Hips and Pelvis - Home of Creativity, Angst and Orgasmic Possibilities

Redefining ‘Sex’ and ‘Orgasm’

Embracing Yourself as a Sexual Being

Understanding Your Sex Drive

Training Your Pelvic Floor

Making Peace With Self-Pleasuring

Getting to Know the Vagina and Vulva

Getting to Know the Penis

Chapter Four: Abdomen - Where Emotions Lurk and Power Awaits

Engaging Energy-Body Awareness

Making Altars for Deeper Connections

Having Healthy Boundaries

Moving, Rocking, and Claiming Your Power

Showing Up for Your Life’s Moments

Harnessing and Appreciating Life’s Micro-Moments of Pleasure

Experiencing Appreciation Through your Senses

Connecting with Pleasure in Your Body

Exploring Your Erotic Pleasures

Shaking Your Hips and Booty

Picking Out a New Toy

Chapter Five: Heart, Chest and Lungs - Expand Here for Immense Healing

Encouraging Self-compassion, Self-Acceptance, and Self-Love

Making a Heart-Mind Connection

Feeling the Love: Antonia’s Rosewater Practice

Using Breath to De-stress and Heal

Chapter Six: Throat - Communication Center and Bridge to the Outside World

Nourishing Up

Reclaiming and Re-Awakening Your Taste Buds

Throwing a Feast in your Honor

Speaking With Intention

Exploring the Sounds of Your Pleasure

Chapter Seven: Head - Hub for Problems, Solutions and Experiences

Assessing Your Distractions

Bringing More Consciousness

Breathing Out of Overthinking

Singing Away Monkey Mind

Creating New Memories with Scents

Setting a Healthy Sleep Routine

Meditating Your Way Back to Yourself

Massaging in New Joys

Soothing the System with a Headrub

Thinking Your Way to Orgasm

Conclusion

Introduction

Playbook Philosophy

Simple pleasures and play have the power to change your life.

All are welcome, respected and will be referred to as "humans’’ throughout this book. Many of the practices detailed here are scientifically proven to contribute to your health and wellbeing, but they are often also forms of play. Isn’t it funny how many of the activities we did as children are the very same practices scientific research and doctors are now recommending to help humans combat things like stress, anxiety, and aging, and to improve our health, happiness and sense of wellbeing? Some of the techniques in this book can lead to experiences of immense joy, and ecstasy. The desired result is to make your life feel as flowing, happy, healthy and pleasure-filled as possible.

Why do we need more pleasure? Unfortunately, we are a stressed out, anxious, and generally unfulfilled group of humans—not just in the western world, but globally. We are not enjoying basic pleasures. Uh, oh.

Be honest. Are you getting the most of your life experiences, or does true fulfillment feel out of reach? Here are some questions to assist you with assessing where more pleasure might enrich your life:

How much of each day nourishes and enriches you?

Do you enjoy the food you eat, and if you do is there any guilt later?

Do the conversations and interactions you have throughout the day uplift you, or leave you feeling drained?

Do you hope to experience sexual satisfaction or deepen your sexual pleasure?

If you are partnered, has your sex life been leaving you feeling fulfilled or unsatisfied?

When you worked your ass off for your last big winning accomplishment, did the accomplishment itself leave you feeling deeply fulfilled? Or did your last great win have you searching for outward validation to have it feel meaningful for you?

We weren’t built for the world we have created for ourselves. There are too many things vying for our attention. The natural stress response wired to protect us from life’s dangers is getting activated far too often.

Our ancestors saw a threat (oh, crap, a lion), registered it in the brain (fight or flight?) and the body responded (run, or kill-or-be-killed). This stress response is a product of neural pathways called the autonomic nervous system (ANS), divided into the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. Once the brain registers stress, the sympathetic nervous system produces a fight or flight stress response for self-preservation. This response gives the body a boost of energy, much like a gas pedal on a car, by releasing adrenaline and the stress hormone cortisol. The parasympathetic nervous system acts like the brake, allowing the body to rest and recover from the stressors.

Today we are inundated with what the body may interpret as threats, and the body’s natural stress response gets frequently activated, which can become damaging to the body. Additionally, our body’s response system is often unable to enact the action portion of completing that stress response. These stress responses need to get carried out, or they get stuck in the body, which can then pose more serious problems.

Imagine you are driving down the road and get cut off. Your impulse to react (swear, hit the horn, etc.) is your body’s way of completing that stress response. If you meditate daily, live healthy, and haven’t been experiencing many life stressors, your personal coping resilience is likely to be higher, and you may emotionally shrug it off. But if your daily life has been filled with pressures, long hours, and worries have kept you up at night, being cut off in traffic might elicit an intense experience of anger or even rage. All responses are a natural human response, but affected by outside sources and our reserves at the time.

The expression built-up stress is very real. It is one of the reasons that humans are using coping mechanisms to numb their bodies and minds. Unresolved emotional buildup in the body isn’t comfortable. It can be an internal pressure cooker, waiting for opportunities for release. The desire to just make discomfort stop, even for a little while, is completely understandable.

Life can be overwhelming. Hitting the mute button can feel like a welcomed respite, but it does nothing to resolve the issue. Worse yet, numbing out the pain and frustration also numbs the ability to experience pleasure. Pleasure is naturally wired into our systems as a reward, as an antidote, allowing for the release of tension and stress in the body while also soothing and nourishing.

Here’s a weird secret we don’t get told often enough: healthy simple pleasures are good for you! For whatever reason, many of us live within structures that do not support exploration or discussion about pleasure, and this is particularly true about our sexual pleasure.

There are mountains of reliable, unbiased scientific data that unequivocally show us that when humans experience healthy pleasures, it greatly contributes to wellbeing physically, physiologically, psychologically, and relationally.

Enjoying sexual pleasure also has many health benefits and can contribute to our sense of overall wellbeing in remarkable ways. Cultural stigmas have created a lot of unfortunate narratives that keep us from enjoying pleasure in our bodies. When we start changing the flawed culturally prevalent stories around our bodies, sexuality and pleasure, it will make a positive contribution to each of our lives and have global benefits.

Our ancient ancestors relied on pleasure to guide them.

Today, we tend to lean towards seeing, inhabiting, and enjoying our bodies as a guilty pleasure, or something we have to work really hard for all of our lives, instead of seeing it for what it really is: the healing balm that can leave us feeling fulfilled. This includes making peace with our intrinsic sexual nature. Sexual energy is one of the most potent resources we have access to, yet we rarely acknowledge, discuss, or utilize it.

Sexual pleasure was the energy that created you. Why do we never think of ourselves as the result of pleasure? None of