Flight Lessons
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About this ebook
Anna has studiously avoided her Aunt Rose—the woman she once loved more than anyone else in the world—ever since the night Rose betrayed Anna and her mother, Rose's own fatally ill sister. In the sixteen years that have passed, Anna has built another life for herself far from her hometown on Maryland's eastern shore, but she can't forgive or forget.
Now another betrayal, by a faithless lover, has brought Anna back to her family's restaurant, where Rose needs her estranged niece's help—and trust—more than ever before. Determined to leave as soon as the struggling business is back on its feet and her own hurt is healed, Anna joins Rose in the kitchen of the Bella Sorella, resolved to remain unaffected by Rose's longing to undo the past. But Anna's resistance could blind her to a true and unexpected love that's reaching out to grab her by the heart.
New York Times bestselling author patricia gaffney's Flight Lessons is a poignant, funny, and wise story of truth, loyalty, and the bonds that shape, sustain, and ultimately uplift us.
Patricia Gaffney
<p>Patricia Gaffney's novels include <em>The Goodbye Summer</em>, <em>Flight Lessons</em>, and <em>The Saving Graces</em>. She and her husband currently live in Blue Ridge Summit, Pennsylvania.</p>
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Flight Lessons - Patricia Gaffney
1
The problem, one of them, was that circumstances had split her life down the middle. She was always of two minds, the hopeful half versus the skeptic, optimist against pessimist. Or maybe it evened out and what she was now was a relativist, a contingency artist. Either way, it didn’t help that at this late date a theme was taking shape, a motif or whatever you called it, a pattern, consisting of Anna walking in on trusted loved ones in bed with each other.
Then again, two times probably made a soap opera, not a pattern. She tried to lift her situation out of the excessively banal by imagining she had a connection with Sylvia Plath. Not that Anna was suicidal. Over Jay? Please. But it did help to think that she and Sylvia—she called her Sylvia; that’s how bonded Anna felt—shared a context, a setting. Really, if anything, her circumstances were worse, because that London winter of ’63 could not possibly have been any colder than Buffalo after a blizzard in early April—early April, for God’s sake — and poor Sylvia’s flat couldn’t have been any icier than the windy, rattling loft Jay had left Anna to huddle in by herself while he cavorted with the voluptuous Nicole, whose apartment had a fireplace and central heat.
Jay’s idea, the loft. They’d lived in a scruffy corner of it during the first year, the happy time, while he’d used the drafty rest for a studio. Eventually his metal sculptures outgrew it, though, went from enormous to dinosaurian, the ceiling wasn’t high enough for the really monstrous ones, they needed a barn of their own. So he’d leased space in an old warehouse on the lake for a studio, and since then, almost another year, they’d had the whole basketball court of an apartment to themselves.
Except for the summer months, they’d spent most of the time in bed. Sleeping, reading, eating, having sex, etc., etc., but mostly trying to keep warm. Had ice crusted on the insides of Sylvia’s windows? Had she huddled close to a ticking space heater with a blanket over it and her like a hot tent, and worried about setting herself on fire? If so, Anna could see why the kitchen stove had started to call to her, whisper that it was the warm answer. Lay your head flat on the metal rack, like a turkey roaster, close your eyes. Try not to mind the gas smell. Go to sleep.
Again, not that Anna was contemplating suicide. But she’d been betrayed in the cruelest way a woman could be (no, second cruelest; that life-dividing time at age twenty, that was still worse), and at least Ted Hughes had had the decency to conduct his affairs out of Sylvia’s direct line of sight, with women she wasn’t friends with or employed by. Some decorum had been observed. A little British restraint, missing in her case. Anna had walked in on Jay with Nicole, her boss, tangled up together in her own bed, three hours after she’d woken up from a laparoscopy for an ovarian cyst. A hospital procedure. Outpatient, yes, but still, she could’ve died from the anesthesia, people did. If Jay had been worried about her, he’d found a stimulating distraction.
Oh, it was such a stale, tired story, but here was another way she was trying to inject a little dignity into it—by casting herself in the role of tragic heroine. In a play by…some Greek, Sophocles, Aeschylus, she was vague on her classical playwrights this many years after freshman English. Her mother had died of ovarian cancer at the age she was now, thirty-six, and Anna had discovered Jay’s infidelity on the very afternoon she was fully, fatalistically, expecting a call from the surgeon telling her she had the same disease. She didn’t, her cyst was benign, nothing to worry about, would probably go away by itself—but she didn’t know that then, and wasn’t it all just too much, too full of awful significance, as if indifferent gods were playing with her life, making literature out of it, throwing in metaphors and parallels and corny portents—
No, it wasn’t. It was just soap opera. Her life was like a Greek play only if you imagined a collaboration between Homer and Harold Robbins. And now here she was, trying to keep warm in the big, wide scene of the crime, listening to sleet peck at the frosted-over windows and wind slam them around in their uncaulked sockets, trying not to think about Jay and Nicole.
But it was hard when they’d been here so recently. Enjoyed themselves so thoroughly. They must’ve enjoyed themselves, otherwise they’d have heard the slow rise of the clanking elevator, at least noticed when the rickety metal doors squealed apart. The loft was wide open and wall-less, but Jay had built a two-sided partition to shield the bed from the view of—well, people like Anna. Intruders. He’d made it from tall, rusting strips of steel, like tree trunks, and painted them with bright birds and winding greenery—ah, a bower, you thought, how romantic. Until you went closer and saw that the birds had human heads with crazed eyes and mad grins, and they were doing lewd things with each other in the greenery. Then, how surreal, you thought, how sardonic and Boschian. How Jay.
She remembered very little, almost nothing of what she’d seen over the partition of the lovers in bed. Situational amnesia, no doubt, the way a car crash survivor can’t remember a thing after the light turned red. Jay must’ve been on the bottom, because she had a vague picture in her mind’s eye of his Rasputin hair crosshatching the pillow like an etching, black-on-white. But were he and Nicole visibly naked? Decently hidden under the covers? Blank. Mercifully blank: she had nothing to obsess about—this time—except the fact of betrayal, not the look of it.
She jumped when Jay’s cat landed on the pillow and began to purr in her ear, kneading the duvet with his claws. He was only nice to her when he was cold. Chip off the old block. She lifted the covers, let him crawl down and curl up at her hip. Miss your old man, huh?
she said, scratching him softly under the chin. Tough.
The telephone rang. It couldn’t be Jay; he’d already called, and the way they’d left things wouldn’t encourage him to call back soon. Not for a couple of years. She grabbed the phone from the night table and pulled her arm back under the covers as fast as possible. On Hello,
she could see her breath.
Hey, sweetie, me again. How’re you feeling today?
Big, huge mistake to tell Aunt Iris about Jay. But she’d caught her at a bad time last night; Anna had blurted out the truth as soon as her aunt said, "Honey, you sound terrible, did something happen?"
Now she forced vitality into her voice and said, Oh, hi, Aunt I. Much better. Much stronger, really. Much.
Good, because I’ve got some great news. Your Aunt Rose needs a manager for the Bella Sorella.
What? Say that again?
Yeah, sweetie, she just told me. The old one quit over the weekend, apparently he wasn’t any good anyway, so she’s looking. Naturally I told her your situation.
Naturally. Aunt Iris was their go-between, since Anna and Rose didn’t speak anymore. Well, not literally; in fact, they were excruciatingly cordial whenever Anna couldn’t get out of going home—Maryland’s Eastern Shore—for a wedding or a funeral; the last one had been about two years ago. They sent Christmas cards, too—Have a wonderful holiday! Hope the New Year is your best ever!
—and Rose never forgot a birthday. Aunt Iris was the one who dispensed the lowdown on their real lives, though, or as much of them as they cared to share with her. Anna always weighed her words to Iris accordingly, and assumed Rose did the same. It was absurd, really, like a sit-com riff, Tell your father to pass the salt,
Tell your mother to get it herself.
Still, whatever worked.
My situation,
Anna said carefully. "So, what, you’re saying Rose thinks I… she would like me…" She couldn’t quite get the natural inference out in words.
It’s not just Rose, honey. Everybody thinks you should come home.
Who’s everybody?
The family. Me.
Anna smiled to herself, picturing seventy-year-old Aunt Iris’s bony, bossy face, the total conviction in her gestures. She’d have the phone to her ear with her shoulder, because she’d need both hands to make her point. "But what did Rose say? Anna asked.
About the restaurant."
"Well, she thinks the timing’s perfect. You need a job, she’s got a job, in fact she’s in kind of a bind. Plus you’ve already got a house here to live in. A nice warm one, she threw in.
What are they having up there today, a cyclone? Typhoon? Quiet!" she called to the dogs barking in the background, the usual accompaniment to a conversation with Aunt Iris. She bred Labrador retriever–Border collie mixes for a hobby.
Tell Rose,
Anna said, that managing a full-service restaurant would be a little different from running a forty-seat coffeehouse.
Aunt Iris made scoffing sounds. But I thank her for the offer. If it was one.
A little explosion had gone off in her chest, though. Her skin prickled in the aftermath; she had to work to keep her voice casual. The last thing she wanted was Aunt Iris reporting back to Rose, She sounded interested!
You’re not saying no, are you? Come home and think about it, at least. That agent you got, the one that rents your house, he’s let it go to the dogs. I’m not kidding, people are talking. You could get a citation. You need to come down here and take charge, some things you can’t do by phone, not indefinitely. Now, listen, Anna, you know I would never tell you what to do.
Never.
When? When have I ever?
I said never.
"Sarcastically. You’re a grown woman, far be it from me to give you advice about your life, but I have to say this for your own good. Leave that sciocco you live with and come home, where you’ve got people who love you and a job you could do with one hand tied behind your back. You’re a Fiore, it’s in your blood."
Catalano, but—
Fiore on your mama’s side, and Fiores run restaurants.
You don’t,
Anna pointed out.
I married too young, missed my calling. Honey, just come on home. It’s time.
Oh, God.
Part of her wanted to. Part of her wanted to stay and make it up with Jay, part of her wanted to tear out pieces of him with her teeth, part of her wanted to leave him with no words at all, a silent, dignified exit. I’m torn,
she said.
Be torn at home.
Home, home—what makes you think I even—
She brought her voice down half an octave. Okay, I’ll take it under advisement, but listen, I have to go, I’ve got another call on this line.
She didn’t even try to make that sound true.
What do you want me to tell Rose?
I don’t know. Anything.
I’ll tell her you’ll think about it.
You can say that if you want.
Frustrated silence. Aunt Iris would never say so, it might jeopardize her role as intermediary, but Anna knew she was on Rose’s side. Deep down, she thought Anna’s lingering hostility was childish, she should’ve outgrown it by now, water under the bridge, her mother had been dead for seven years before her father and Rose had finally found some happiness together. That’s what Iris thought.
Too bad it was a closed subject; otherwise Anna could have enlightened her on a couple of things. Chronologies, sequences of events. Iris thought she knew everything, but she didn’t.
Theo’s not doing so well,
Iris said, instead of hanging up.
Who’s Theo, again?
She clicked her tongue. Now, Anna. You know who Theo is.
Oh, you mean Rose’s boyfriend? That guy?
She did know who Theo was, and she wasn’t sure why she always pretended she didn’t. Except that the whole idea of Theo offended her—and that made no sense at all. As if Rose should be faithful to Anna’s father’s memory, all these years after she’d stolen him away from her own sister. Honor among thieves or something—Anna couldn’t even follow her own reasoning.
Iris said, Theo’s still living on that old boat of his, and Rose can’t make him move. She’s so afraid he’ll fall.
Theo had Parkinson’s or something. Sorry to hear that.
She’s spending a lot of time with him these days. It wears her out.
That’s a shame.
Anna.
What? You expect me to go home and run the Bella Sorella so Rose can have more time with her boyfriend?
Family pulls together in time of need.
Oh—
Vulgarities piled up in the back of her throat, bitter as vinegar.
But that’s neither here nor there. This is where you should be, baby, not up there in no-man’s-land. We love you and we want you to come home.
She got off the phone by swearing she had another call and hanging up.
I used to be a decisive person,
she told the hot, disgruntled cat when it crawled out from under the covers. I could make decisions. I took chances.
Now it was too much to get out of bed and go to the bathroom. She’d have to put on socks and slippers and her woolly robe, she’d have to sit on the frigid toilet seat, wash her hands in ice water afterward. Too much.
Easier to lie here and wallow in all the grievances against her. Funny, she couldn’t picture Jay and Nicole naked together in this bed only two days ago, but somebody else’s nude body was as clear in her memory as a photograph: Rose’s, scrambling out of bed as twenty-year-old Anna pushed open the door to her father’s bedroom. Sixteen years later, she could still see the panicky blur of Rose’s long arms and long white calves, her narrow back, the mad snatching up of a shirt from the floor to cover herself. She always wore her dark hair up, always in a bun, a twist, a chignon, she knew a million styles—but on that day it was down and disheveled, and somehow much more shocking than all her bare skin or even her tragic, appalled face.
The angle of her wrist as she’d pressed the collar of the shirt to her heart, that white-skinned clutch, the knuckles protruding like exposed nerves—I’ve seen that before, Anna had thought. And just then, the filmy curtain over a much older memory parted, and everything changed. That was the day disillusionment cut her life in half.
What was it Nicole had said when she’d seen Anna peering over the bower partition? Something, Oh Christ,
Oh my God.
Nothing memorable, definitely nothing mitigating.
Rose had said: Oh, my dear, I am so sorry. This is—exactly what it looks like. But, Anna, it’s never the way I wanted you to find out! We—Paul—
That’s all she’d had time to say before the squeak of Anna’s father’s footstep sounded on the staircase.
What had Jay said when he’d seen her? Nothing at all, she didn’t think. Well, he wasn’t stupid; he’d understood the futility of words, but even more, the potential for sounding foolish. Jay never wanted to sound foolish. So he’d kept a dignified, actually a slightly wounded silence.
Her father had stopped dead in the bedroom doorway. He’d had on maroon sweats and new blue running shoes, a newspaper poking out from under his arm; he’d had an oily paper bag in his hand, coffee and croissants from the deli up the street. Under his morning beard, his face was ashen except for a smear of pink on each cheek. He said: Annie, hey, what a great surprise! I—I’m just getting in myself, been in Newport News since Thursday. Hi, Rose.
Anna said, Daddy,
horrified, but he went right on, No—Rose stayed here last night, I knew that. How’s that bat situation? Can you believe it, your aunt had a bat at her place, maybe more than one, could be a nest—
And then Rose said, Oh, Paul. Don’t,
and that was the end of that.
Now Rose wanted her to come home. Just like that, pick up where they’d left off, let bygones be bygones. Why? Because she loved
her? Anna’s cynical half sneered at that, but the reluctant optimist pressed her hands together and speculated. Maybe Aunt Iris was right, maybe it was time. If not for a reconciliation, then a reckoning. How ironic—pattern or not, you had to give it that, at least it was ironic—that the same B-movie situation that had driven her out of town at age twenty was driving her back at thirty-six.
Could she really do this? It went against the grain of everything, every finely sanded principle and prejudice she had. Well, it wouldn’t be permanent—that was the key. If she went, that’s how she’d get through it. She’d work for Rose while she got her house fixed up and ready to sell, a matter of a couple of months, no more. Then she’d split. As long as everybody understood this was temporary, she could do it.
It still felt like giving in, though. She tried to think of a way to glorify going home, something to make it feel less like defeat, but no flattering, humiliation-averting comparisons came to mind. Damn. She might have to go as a grown-up. Not a mortal besieged by capricious gods, not a fierce, romantic, suicidal poet. An adult. If not capable of forgiving old sins, then at least willing to pretend, for the sake of peace, that they’d never been committed.
Clever Rose. Anna hadn’t given her credit for so much cunning.
2
Iris called while Rose was drying her hair. How are you? What are you doing?
I feel like I’m going on a date,
Rose said. I’ve tried on three outfits, and I’m going back to the first one, my old black suit. Do you think
—she laughed self-consciously—do you think Anna’s doing this, too?
I don’t get why you’re so nervous. She knows what you look like.
Yes, but it’s been two years. I just don’t want her to think I’m an old lady.
Iris snorted.
I don’t want her to think I’m losing it.
Baby doll, you haven’t lost a thing.
I don’t want her to take the job because she feels sorry for me.
Iris cackled. Then, I don’t think there’s too much danger of that.
Why? What did she say?
Nothing, I’m just saying. If Anna takes this job, it’ll be because she wants it, not because she’s feeling charitable. Anyway, she’s here, she didn’t move back so she could tell you no.
That’s what Rose was hoping, that the decision had already been made. Iris, I’m rushing, and I still have to pick up Theo’s lunch and take it to him.
Okay, go. But call me tonight and tell me what happened.
I will—although Vince will probably tell you first.
"I’m his mother, Vincent never tells me anything. You call tonight. And relax, will you? Anna’s twice as nervous as you are."
Do you think so?
You two, honest to God. This whole thing is ridiculous, it’s always been ridiculous.
"I’m not the one—"
I know, it’s her, but now she’s grown up and ready to act like a mature woman, maybe she’ll bury the hatchet.
It’s not her fault.
Oh, let’s not get started on whose fault. I don’t know why you always defend her. If you ask me, a person’s entitled to one moment of self-righteousness in their life, and then they move on. They grow up and move on.
You’re right, let’s not get started,
Rose said, and they hung up.
She went back to drying her hair, which looked absurd and childish to her suddenly, much too short. Theo had told her not to cut it, and he’d been right. Anna would think she was a foolish old woman, trying to look young and smart. Maybe some makeup? She never wore anything but mascara and lipstick, but today, maybe some eye shadow? She was always buying it and then not using it. This is a mistake, she thought, even as she leaned in and daubed sparkly, taupe-colored powder in the creases of her eyelids. Better? No. Sixty years old and she couldn’t put makeup on right.
Well, nobody had ever taught her. Iris was married and long gone by the time Rose turned fifteen and Mama said she could wear a little lipstick. Lily, only two years older, was the one who should’ve shown her, but already beautiful Lily thought of her little sister as competition. Already? Maybe she always had, even when they were children. Rose didn’t know, and Lily took her secrets with her when she died.
What was wrong with this black suit? It didn’t flatter her after all, it turned her skin sallow and the skirt was too long. Other than that, she looked like a million bucks. Too late now, and no point in changing anyway: this was one of those days when she wasn’t going to like herself. They were coming more frequently than they used to. Inevitable at her age, but it was hard. Life didn’t pace itself very gently or conveniently, or even humanely. She was losing too many things all at once.
Four times I got up to pee last night. You know what I oughta do, Rose?
What?
Rig up a hose between my dick and the head. Save a lot of time.
Good idea,
she said, swishing Theo’s dishes around in the tiny galley sink. If she worked fast, she could usually finish before the hot water ran out. He hated the low-protein, high-carb diet the neurologist had him on, but he’d eaten all the porcini polenta she’d brought him for lunch, and most of his salad. Whatever else he might be losing, he still had his appetite. Or,
she said mildly, you could move off this boat and in with me.
How the hell would that help? What the hell would be the point of that? What’ll you do when I have to take a piss, drag the damn toilet into the bedroom?
No.
Then how the hell would it help?
She knew he wanted to yell at her. She wished he could, she’d have loved it if he could scream and shout, bellow out all his frustration. But he couldn’t raise his voice above a hushed, breathy undertone anymore, and on the worst days it was only a whisper.
She watched him use both hands to pull his right knee up and brace his foot against the settee behind the cleared table, turning his back on her. His hair needed cutting. She shaved him every other day—his hands shook too much to do it himself—but she hadn’t cut his thick, shaggy hair in weeks. Or trimmed the long, droopy mustache he took so much pride in. Used to, rather. Nothing about Theo’s body pleased him anymore.
It still pleased her. He hadn’t lost weight, so he still looked as solid and planted as he always had on his sturdy legs, his shoulders still thick, chest still wide and furry as a Chincoteague pony’s. Short and brawny, he was as far from her old physical ideal—as far from Paul—as a man could be, and yet she’d liked the look of Theo from the beginning. What she regretted was all the trouble she’d given him at the start, when they were first dancing around each other, all that time she’d wasted making him wait. Caution was a virtue the middle-aged couldn’t afford.
But he said his body didn’t belong to him anymore, it belonged to some old, sick man, not Theophilus Xenophon Pelopidas, waterman, traveler, fisherman, boatbuilder, woodcarver, great lover of beautiful women. She loved it when he talked like that, when he was proud of himself and his old strength and vigor, his old life. But even his memory of himself was fading, and Rose didn’t know what was crueler, the slow deterioration of his nerve cells or his ego.
I brought you panna cotta for dessert,
she said, unwrapping the foil around the plate. Calcium and carbohydrates, just what the doctor ordered. Eat it while it’s good and cold. Want some coffee? I’ll make you a cup.
If you’ll have one with me.
I can’t, I have to get back. Anna’s coming at one o’clock.
He sniffed his breath out to show her what he thought of that.
She set his plate on the table in front of him. Move over,
she said, wedging herself onto the narrow settee beside him. His old sailboat was called Expatriate. It slept two, just barely, and not with any unnecessary comfort or convenience. It had taken her four years to learn not to hit her head on bulkheads and hanging lockers, but how anyone could live full time in such cramped quarters was still beyond her. Everything on the boat was always fanatically neat and tidy, though, she had to give him that. Shipshape. Her own small apartment wasn’t half as organized as Theo’s minuscule cabin. And him such a scruffy, unruly man.
How is it?
she asked, watching him scoop up the creamy dessert with the spoon held tightly in his rigid fist, swallowing with care.
Who made it, you or Carmen?
Me.
Then it’s good. Best I ever ate. Melts in your mouth.
He tweaked his lips in a sideways half-smile, all his facial muscles could manage these days. You look pretty. More than usual.
She thanked him by squeezing his thigh. All dressed up for her highness.
She took her hand back. You’re going to like her, you know. You’re going to be surprised.
That I doubt.
She’s lovely.
I know what you’re trying to do, Rose, but you can’t.
What do you mean?
You can’t put everything back the way it was.
I know.
She sighed. But wouldn’t it be nice? No, I know, but—Anna wasn’t supposed to go away, that was never the plan.
Whose plan?
The family plan. She was going to finish college and then come home and run the restaurant with me. I’d cook, she’d manage.
Perfect, their hearts’ desires; each of them doing what she did best and loved most.
Theo made a disgusted sound. You think it’s all your fault, every little thing that ever went wrong with that girl’s whole life. That’s bullshit.
I know.
In her head she knew it. I love you. You’re better than a priest, you know that? What would I do without you?
Be a lot better off.
He patted her hand with his rough, gnarled one, the one with the missing little finger. She’d heard three or four different stories about how he’d lost the finger, including to a crab the size of a beach ball in the tidal swamps off Tilghman Island. She loved all his defects, all his scars and his weathered skin, his creaky old joints. But what she loved him for most was that he knew all her guilty secrets. No one else did but Anna, but Theo forgave her. No, that wasn’t it—he didn’t think she’d done anything that needed to be forgiven. He thought she was innocent.
Am I too dressed up?
she asked him. It’s only a skirt. Too much? I don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard.
You look beautiful, to hell with what she thinks.
That again. I have to go.
She stood up and kept her hands to herself, didn’t reach for him when he rocked back once and used the momentum to heave himself up from the bench. And she went first when he waved her toward the companionway steps, even though she’d rather have climbed the four stairs behind him. Just in case. She lived in fear that he would fall—then what? If he got dizzy and tripped, hit his head, hurt himself, and no one here to help him, what would he do? She’d asked him a hundred times to move in with her. So had Mason, his stepson. He wouldn’t even discuss it. Rather go in a nursing home,
he’d say, let strangers wipe the drool off my chin.
What’ll you do this afternoon?
She stood beside him in the cockpit, breathing in the fresh salt smell of the Chesapeake. Cork, Theo’s old gray-muzzled mutt, half spaniel, half everything else, thunked his wispy tail in welcome from the patch of sun on the deck where he lay sprawled, stiff-legged. The sound of hammering echoed from a couple of boats away; reggae music drifted over from somebody else’s radio. The warm spring weather was bringing out the owners who hadn’t checked on their boats since last year. Sun glittered on the water, blinding. Seagulls wheeled and squawked.
This afternoon? Maybe a round o’ golf.
Theo held the taffrail with one hand while he scratched Cork behind the ears with the other. Maybe a pickup basketball game.
She usually laughed when he said things like that, but this time she slipped her arms around his waist and pressed her face against the nubby wool of his sweater. He went stiff. But presently she felt his hand on her back, patting her with a soft, helpless pressure.
Theo’s eyes were a pale, bleached-out blue, as if he’d peered for too many years at the sky and the sea, stared at too many horizons. You believe this spring?
he marveled, using his hand for a sunshade. Smell the air, Rose. Water’s warming up, starts the crabs to crawling. What I wouldn’t…
He shook his head, trailing off.
What he wouldn’t give to be chugging out into the bay on his ancient dead-rise crabber, setting out his lines before the sun came up, checking on his pots, hoping for a good catch of early-season blues. Life on the Chesapeake for all his waterman buddies started in April, and this was the first season since she’d known him that he wouldn’t be in the middle of it.
Shall I come over tonight?
she asked. It’ll have to be late, but we could go for a drive if you feel like it. Want to?
He shrugged. Saw a spotted sandpiper this morning. First o’ the year. You can tell a spottie by the way she bobs her tail up and down.
He caught her smiling at spottie. Yeah, been talking to Mason,
he admitted. His stepson knew everything about birds, even more than Theo now; in fact, he photographed them for a living. They migrate by ones and twos, Mason says, not in packs. The females go around sleeping with—all the males they can find, regular swingers they are.
He paused to take a few shallow breaths. "Then when they lay a nest of eggs, they make the father sit on ’em till they hatch."
Smart birds. Is Mason coming over later?
Exercise was the only thing Theo could do anymore for his balance, and Mason took him on walks around the marina.
Probably. Look.
He lifted his right arm very slowly, pointing above the sway of the masts and lines of working boats and pleasure craft moored in the neighboring slips. Yellowlegs. See ’em?
She saw three or four smallish, grayish birds swooping over the water. I had one once. Let it go this time o’ the year, join the parade.
You had one?
There’s greater and lesser. They’re little shorebirds. Well, the greater’s not so little. I found a lesser yellowlegs in the salt marsh once, had—a busted beak and fishing line tangled around one wing and a leg. Kept him all winter, let him go in the spring. They’re moving up the coast now, the flocks. They go up to Canada to breed.
Did he come back?
Sometimes they did, wouldn’t fly away the first time Theo tried to release them, the injured terns and seagulls he had a habit of doctoring. Used to have—he couldn’t do it now, his hands shook too much, he said, he couldn’t hold them gently anymore. Now Mason was the bird doctor.
No. Well, he come back by in the fall, like they all do. It’s funny, I let ’em go and Mason captures ’em. Tries to.
On film, you mean.
Either way, they always come back.
Or,
Rose said, they always leave.
Depends on how you look at it.
Mason might look at it a little differently, she considered, having grown up with a stepfather who’d abandoned him about as regularly as some migrating bird. Who would probably still be leaving and coming back, leaving and coming back, if he hadn’t gotten too sick to move on.
I have to go,
she said again, looking around for her bag. "Call me after dinner, or I’ll call you. Is your phone on? Don’t finish those dishes, I’ll do them tonight. How did it get to be noon? Tell me the truth, Theo, do I look overdressed? It’s just a skirt."
You look fine, and I’ll wash the goddamn dishes. I’m not a cripple yet.
She touched his cheek, and immediately the scowl between his thick gray eyebrows relaxed. Old dog,
she called him softly. My old dog.
Old lap dog. Got me in the palm of your hand, that’s what you think.
Oh, if only.
She leaned in to brush her lips across his dry, chapped ones. Be good till Mason comes, okay? Try?
My other dog walker.
And don’t fall overboard.
He smiled at that, but she didn’t: it came too close for comfort. We might go over to his place later and work on the boat,
he mentioned.
That would be nice. Perfect day for it.
He and Mason were rebuilding an old sailboat together—or Mason was; Theo mostly watched. He sat in a chair in Mason’s boat shed and gave orders. She kissed him quickly, then let him hold her arm as she stepped up onto the marina dock.
I like you in a skirt,
he strained his voice to say as she started off. Nice stems for an old broad.
She made an Italian gesture he thought was dirty—a long time ago she’d told him it was obscene, but it wasn’t. It always delighted him. Before she passed through the chain-link gate to the parking lot, she glanced back. He was holding on to the rail with both hands, lowering his backside slowly, cautiously, down to the sunbleached wood of the cockpit seat, next to his old dog.
Theo’s marina was about a mile from downtown, on a shallow peninsula whose north shore connected to the city by way of a two-lane drawbridge. Rarely was the bridge up, but today, of course, when Rose was running late, it was, so that an elegant, tall-masted schooner could glide out of the creek and into the river and the bay. She waited impatiently for the light to change, clicking her fingernails on the steering wheel. She tried to look at the water, the docked boats, the bridge, the pedestrians, as if she were new in town and seeing everything for the first time. Like Anna, almost. She’d grown up here, but hadn’t been back except for fast dashes, in and out as quickly as possible, in almost two decades. Would she find her hometown drastically changed? It was bigger and more bustling than the city she’d grown up in, and full of tourists year-round now instead of only